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1/30/2008 4:15:48 PM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

wheelietorque
Palm Bay, FL
age: 33


1. church hasnt been to helpful...so
2. counseling...tutoring....doing that now...


Well, his mom messed him up extremely bad, its been a long struggle to bring him back to where he is, but I am fearing he needs to be home schooled because he needs close attention...I am all alone and dont reallly know what to do, anyone?

1/30/2008 4:47:21 PM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

gntlkisser
Owatonna, MN
age: 44


it would help if we knew more about what the problem is?

2/2/2008 8:43:39 AM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

metal1970
Towson, MD
age: 38


I believe in God, But F*CK the church.

Counseling will and does help, but only if he is willing.

Of course there is always Red Foreman's approach. Your foot in his ass.

2/2/2008 3:19:00 PM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

dg1260
Galion, OH
age: 47


Since we don't know the problem......

It appears that your are not ignoring the problem, which is what is important. And of course there is no silver bullet.

Keep working the problem and looking for answers. I don't think one solution works for all kids as they are motivated differently and have different problems. Be prepared that if you go to counseling/therapy, you may go through a couple of counselors before you find one that works for you and your child.

Good luck!

2/6/2008 11:31:10 AM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

spritzdidit
Canton, MI
age: 43


I have an 11 yr old. Good kid but stubborn. Figure out what he likes, his FAVORITE things to do (my sons is playing Runescape), then offer is as the reward, don't behave, no computer, really don't behave, no electnics of any kind. Depending on the severity of the behavior, depends on the length of time he loses it. Good behavior days, plenty of positive reinforcement and of course letting him do what he likes, maybe even a little longer than usual... and don't let the "I don't care if you take it away" faze you, he cares!

2/6/2008 1:55:10 PM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

goodintention54
Plymouth, MI
age: 54 online now!


Hard to input without knowing all the particulars...but you might want to check out what kind of friends he hangs out with....just a thought ..could be part of the problem. Many times social affiliations transcend themselves into the classroom creating unconscious distractions.


Best of luck to you my friend

2/6/2008 2:28:07 PM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

careercoach
Roanoke, TX
age: 52


Anytime a child is mis-behaving or acting out it is a cry for help. Your son might not even know what the cry is for; however from reading about his Mom it may be just to work on the damage that has been done.
Do you spend much time with him? It's a really tough age and if you can open the lines of communication then you're halfway home. You can also ask the school counselor to speak with him. Counseling is good however if they don't want to talk they won't.
He may be a teen now yet he still is a boy. I agree with others. Pay attention to his friends as they may be encouraging him to act up in class.
Another suggestion is do you two have something that you both like to do? If so, then make a point of doing things with him that he likes. He will be more likely to open up.
Either way good luck. They don't come with manuals darn it. However, there are lots of great parents who would be willing to help.

Tamara

2/7/2008 8:46:29 AM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

goodintention54
Plymouth, MI
age: 54 online now!


Good advise Tamara

I totally agree

2/7/2008 7:25:04 PM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

gutthans
Deland, FL
age: 56


This is some of what I do for a living, so yes, I favor counseling. I raised 2 boys as a single parent, and have lots of personal stories, success and not-so-successful that are part of what I bring to the table.

Children of divorce/separation/dysfunctional families have issues with rejection, abandonment, low self-esteem. Often, the responsible parent is trapped between good conscience, being overwhelmed, and massive guilt. Kids often act out both as a message, and as a response. Hard part is figuring out which is which...and then what to do.

Home schooling? Maybe...but balance that off with outside social activities, unless you plan to raise a hermit. READ a LOT, get your own support system, including your own counselor. DITCH any counselor that let's you know they are smarter than you or in any way makes you feel smaller for your efforts. There are plenty of bad, and even well-meaning morons that think they can guide people...I don't mind sharing more 'advice', but recognize I'm a bit handicapped (as others have stated) by lack of information.

2/8/2008 1:34:33 PM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

take_a_chance
San Diego, CA
age: 37


I have the same problem now(school thing)and it is real hard and i would like some input and some advice to please. I have been a single mom for going on 14 years and i have twin boys (soon to be 14)i know all to well about your situation, i live it everyday.i just have an extra situation one of my sons has both ADHD ans ICD. We have counseling for him but am now seeking it for myself just to have someone help me understand about having a child with a disability.It effects the whole family. i have been doing this for a long time and thats why i am single because my kids will always and forever be first.

I had my son in a "DAY TREATMENT PROGRAM" try that it was the best thing and there is massive structure and good positive attitude and they will help with any of your needs .it is a GREAT program, check this out. I am sure you can find one in your area. Its a start.

I suggest help for you because its nice to have someone to talk. A "professional" someone you don't know and wont judge you or some parenting classes to help you understand things, and let you know your not the only on with this situation. Sometimes you (I) feel like i am the only one.The parenting classes are good to because you can help each other and get advice and ideas from other parents going through the same thing.

GOOD LUCK



[Edited 2/8/2008 1:49:10 PM]

2/8/2008 3:36:09 PM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

zig1
Akron, OH
age: 40


whats he doing in school thats so bad

2/10/2008 11:29:41 AM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

wheelietorque
Palm Bay, FL
age: 33


wow...awesome that there are so many people willing to offer help, thank you all so much, its so damn hard, you are great people, if I can ever help, let me know..master mehanic, fabrication, and broken hearted daddy

2/10/2008 3:12:03 PM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

take_a_chance
San Diego, CA
age: 37









[Edited 2/10/2008 3:14:03 PM]

2/10/2008 5:10:28 PM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

sassyat21
Griffin, GA
age: 21


need to find someone outside the family for him to talk to when he needs it and to share his problems with that always help when i was 13 and give him limits of what he can and cant do but give him a little freedom and respect that a 13 yr old needs and wants u just gotta show a lot of love so he'll know u still care and home schooling is a very good idea for about a yr or two i was home schooled when i got in high school because i made kids scared that i would kill them if they picked on me

2/10/2008 8:54:13 PM Singldad having trouble with 13 son in school.... Any advice  

boomer420s
Laramie, WY
age: 25


Be the parent, not the friend. Teenagers are supposed to hate their parents, remember?


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