| 2/21/2011 11:46:15 PM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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durango02
Jay, OK
61, joined Mar. 2007
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Today would have been my wife's 55 th birthday. She died in Dec.This is the 1st anniversary of her birthday since she passed away. I sang "happy birthday" to her and even made her a small cake. Couldn't stop crying during the whole thing. Am I losing my mind to hang on to her or should I just let her go. There have been a lot of 1st's since she died. The 1st christmas without her, the 1st New Years, the 1st Valentines Day, the anniversary of when we met and now her first birthday without me.Is this abnormal to remember all these dates or should I try not to dwell on it and move on? Anypne else do this besides me?
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| 2/21/2011 11:54:05 PM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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lovethelake17
Henderson, NV
56, joined May. 2009
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It's not abnormal at all. I bet we've all done it.
Those milestone days are going to be hard, especially the first ones. Go ahead and do what works for you. It's all normal.
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| 2/22/2011 12:23:32 AM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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peeps57
Sarasota, FL
57, joined Jul. 2010
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Durango,
It is not abnormal at all. We have a family tradition of writing a message on a white board on special occasions. The day before his birthday, I went to the cemetery and put the white board on his grave. It was there just as it always was, so he could see it in the morning. I know to some, it might seem silly, but it felt right and it brought comfort to me.
On his birthday, my children and I, went to his grave site and had a balloon release, lit a cupcake and sang "Happy Birthday" to him. It brought all of us comfort. I figure you do what makes you feel comfortable.
My daughter has a picture of her daddy in her hospital room. A nurse saw it and asked about it. She asked me how old he was when he passed. I said 57 but then I had to correct myself and say he would be if he had lived, he was only 56. It dawned on me that he would be forever 56 to everyone else, but for all of us who love him, he will continue to have birthdays.
She lost her father in his late 40s. She gave my daughter and i a hug. She understood.
Don't worry, we all feel the same emotions you are. We are who we are.
Crystal
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| 2/22/2011 8:07:58 AM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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newdaddy23
Sauk City, WI
54, joined Jan. 2011
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Last thursday (Feb 17th) was my Nancy's birthday, and you bet we celebrated it! All 6 of her children and her 3 grandchildren came here and we did what Nancy always did on her birthday...grilled out! It was a great time of family togetherness! We all felt a whole lot better at the end of the day!! We will do it again every year, I'm sure!
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| 2/22/2011 8:36:35 AM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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peeps57
Sarasota, FL
57, joined Jul. 2010
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Last thursday (Feb 17th) was my Nancy's birthday, and you bet we celebrated it! All 6 of her children and her 3 grandchildren came here and we did what Nancy always did on her birthday...grilled out! It was a great time of family togetherness! We all felt a whole lot better at the end of the day!! We will do it again every year, I'm sure!
Good for you!!
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| 2/22/2011 11:56:00 AM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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navy710
Stephens City, VA
49, joined Jan. 2011
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Nancy's birthday comes up on March 10. I think I'll wind up at a local bar and toast her and have a few for her. She wasn't a big drinker but did enjoy going out occassionally and having a drink. I think a quiet celebration of her memory is more my style. We met at a bar and it only seems fitting to celebrate her memory there.
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| 2/22/2011 1:34:28 PM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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rag_doll70
Locust Grove, OK
44, joined Feb. 2011
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Randy and I had a mixed family..his mine ours...they eventually just became ours! he will be gone three years in this year..we always celebrate somehow because he loved birthdays..this year though will be extra special because his daughter has made that the day she will marry the love of her life..nothing would have made him happier, and we can all lift our glasses to the future!
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| 2/22/2011 3:16:51 PM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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bigtee922
Pittsburgh, PA
61, joined Feb. 2011
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Hey Jay, sorry for your lost, and to answer your question, I don't see anything wrong with celebrating your wifes birthday, you two lived together and God made it as to were you two could enjoy life together, my wife passed away almost 7 years ago, and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't think abuot her, and sometimes I even talk to her, I make it my business to go out to her grave site and light a candle every week, and yes even in the snow, the conversations got shorter because of the cold, but when I go to her grave site, I have a coversation with her. I'm now a single father and sometimes I have thoughts of would my wife really want me to remarry etc. etc. etc...Anyway man keep doing what your doing if it helps ease the pain...
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| 2/22/2011 7:22:49 PM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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2shacks
Concord, NC
52, joined Jun. 2010
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We do....we send up a Mylar Balloon. We do this all holidays or if she just feels the need to send Daddy some extra love. It's a tangible object. Do what you need to do. Eventually, you may send flowers or make a donation to a place in her memory.
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| 2/22/2011 7:30:04 PM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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f1951
Irrigon, OR
63, joined May. 2008
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It's ok to take your time. Cheers to all of you for remembering, and yet moving on as if, and when you are moved too.
I have a friend who recently lost his love a few moments ago. And she was my girlfriend before she met him. So the 4 of us were long time friends. He was the only one there at the hospital with me at the hospital 5 years ago, at the very moment of my G's passing. And I living 21/2 hrs away was a close as I could be via cell and text. We chatted again long distance and we both had those low moments over this long weekend, with out our loved one..
Now with just the two of us left. We celebrate those milesones together and remember our dear loved ones, together whenever possible.
[Edited 2/22/2011 7:36:24 PM ]
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| 2/23/2011 4:39:41 AM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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cherokeeloves
Stephens City, VA
47, joined Apr. 2010
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This year will be a hard Birth day for me since Tony's Birthday will land on Good Friday
and some years it will land on Easter.
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| 2/23/2011 6:35:57 PM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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chirpy49
Moline, IL
66, joined Apr. 2009
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Today would have been my husbands 64th Birthday. I wouldn't say I celebrate his Birthday,but I have been thinking of him all day! It's been 12 years since he died and I still think of him every day.
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| 2/25/2011 12:22:20 AM |
Did you celebrate the birthday of your deceased spouse? |
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fism1
Simi Valley, CA
59, joined Feb. 2011
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My wife passed away January 19th, 2011. I went to her grave and brought some flowers and a pretty balloon. If you want to call that a celebration then I guess I did so. Her birthday was the 22nd of this month.
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