| 5/21/2011 2:57:39 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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rokstar1977
San Jose, CA
36, joined Apr. 2011
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Is it just me, or does it drive you crazy if you meet someone for a date , and then when it seems to have gone at least ok, they go and ignore all attempts you make to contact you the next day, and the next... And the next, til you give up , frustrated and wondering what went so horribly wrong. I'd personally rather have the person just say to me directly, "I'm not interested in a second " rather than just press the ignore button and leave me hanging. This happened to me recently.
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| 5/21/2011 4:52:44 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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angelofhonesty
San Antonio, TX
46, joined Mar. 2009
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First of all...why the hell would you be contacting a guy after a date.....Let him make the move if he's interested...if not...next...don't be so damn desperate....maybe I'm just old fashion....
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| 5/21/2011 6:43:13 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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rokstar1977
San Jose, CA
36, joined Apr. 2011
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It doesn't really matter who contacts who after the date, I don't think. But getting no response at all is more annoying and frustrating then having him just tell me "sorry not interested" . IMO
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| 5/21/2011 9:51:00 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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pammypoo1343
Knoxville, TN
57, joined May. 2009
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I so agree with you. I had met this guy personally, had a wonderful, talked for days until all hours of the nite, and day, texting and talking, met again, had a wonderful dinner, fantastic nite, more calls and texts then poof gone WTH? Now he wont talk at all. Hmmmm why not tell ya wut is up?
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| 5/22/2011 12:05:40 AM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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nmbettin
Fairmont, MN
35, joined Dec. 2010
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Omg i hate when that happens.its understandable if a guy is busy but reallly all it takes is 5 sec to either say im busy or not interested leave me alone. u wait n wait n all these things pop in ur head n ur like wth did i do knowing u didnt do nething but ur just lost. it sucks but like someone said Next! to many better guys out there instead of sittn around for a guy like that not worthy of our time.sooo glad im not the only one this has happened too.
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| 5/22/2011 2:03:30 AM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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unbreakable27
San Jose, CA
31, joined May. 2011
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I agree same goes for the girls thatt leave me hangin . I'm just a nice guy tryin to find that one girl that makes me a better man
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| 5/22/2011 7:37:40 AM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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pammypoo1343
Knoxville, TN
57, joined May. 2009
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Yes this is crazy! I have went on a few times and asked him to please jus say wut happened and he will not respond at all. So I say he jus lost a good thing. Everything was fantastic when we were together. It had only been to weeks but we both said we felt so comfortable and seemed like we knew each other forever. Evidentally something hes not telling. Oh well, I hate it but life does go on. :0)
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| 5/22/2011 1:26:53 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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sweet_megs
San Antonio, TX
37, joined Mar. 2011
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Thanks for posting this. It helped remind me to just communicate to someone instead of string them along because I was too chicken to let someone down.
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| 5/22/2011 1:54:20 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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sweet_megs
San Antonio, TX
37, joined Mar. 2011
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Okay... so what do you do when you tell them that you aren't interested in a second date and they don't handle rejection well?? Crap... need to start a thread about that...
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| 5/22/2011 2:40:42 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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arcturus1
Eloy, AZ
66, joined Nov. 2010
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Sweet, there have been several recent threads about how to deal with someone who is no longer interested, us or them. There is no right or good way. If we don't hear from someone again, they are not interested. Often when we tell them we are not interested, they insult us or want to argue with us. No one is "owed" a second date or a reason for no second date. It was not a relationship, we were not "exclusive".
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| 5/22/2011 4:39:41 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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pammypoo1343
Knoxville, TN
57, joined May. 2009
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Glad to see yur reply. Ya know wut we had a blast the two weeks we talked and met. I can not make him like me, nor will I chase him. I did although try a few times to find out wut happened. He will not reply. I am sorry for this but I will go on! I jus think if somethin is wrong tell the other, its only fair. Don't say oh i like you, i miss you and then play NO TALK. I friggin hate that. Man up or woman which ever it is. Be honest even if it hurts!!!!!
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| 5/22/2011 4:51:06 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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cab060166
Cincinnati, OH
49, joined Feb. 2011
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I'm with you on this.
If we've met and you're not interested in going out again - have the basic courtesy to say thanks but not interested.
Chris
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| 5/22/2011 5:08:35 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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pammypoo1343
Knoxville, TN
57, joined May. 2009
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I so agree Chris, how hard is that? We all have feelings, don't play games with peoples feelings. Or so I think!!!!!
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| 5/22/2011 5:11:23 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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122750again
Sioux Falls, SD
64, joined Dec. 2008
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Unless you both have agreed to see eachother again, that there may be some sort of Attraction...Tell the truth, you aren't Interested in anything further then being an Acquaintance/Friend...No sense in prolonging something thats just Not gonna happen
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| 5/22/2011 6:53:00 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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rokstar1977
San Jose, CA
36, joined Apr. 2011
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There's so many different scenarios that can happen after that initial first date I think
1) both people truly like eachother and want to possibly pursue a relationship
2) both people someone like each other and want to pursue casual dating that not exclusive
3) both people like eachother but distance or busy schedules makes seeing eachother again not really possible
4) one person likes the other and would like to pursue second date but the feeling isn't mutual ( this is where you can reject the person courteously and move on, or else end up with one of these "ignore" situations) . Hoping of course that they handle rejection with grace
5) worst case scenario: both people dislike eachother and theres not a chance of a second date
6) there's no physical attraction or chemistry but you enjoyed eachothers company and could be just friends. Probably would not involve a second date but maybe a text message partner or something
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| 5/22/2011 8:44:01 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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vallamaldoran
Bathurst, NB
41, joined Apr. 2011
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It's easier to ignore because then you don't have to deal with the tears,bitter accusations,raging,screaming and insults.
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| 5/22/2011 9:20:45 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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pammypoo1343
Knoxville, TN
57, joined May. 2009
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not easier for both parties tho!
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| 5/22/2011 9:57:21 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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epichairday
Durand, WI
50, joined Apr. 2011
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Well let's see...hmmmm....I'm with the devils advocate in personal safety in individual situations. You women think too much on this situation. If you get an "IGNORE"...move on with your life. Most men like to avoid long explanations for why they are just not into you, and the most likely bitter confrontations that will follow. None of this "BUT, BUT, BUT" garbage. Curiosity killed the cat. Don't be the cat. Or as my wise father pounded me with a cliche'....be careful what you ask for...you just might get it. You got an ignore. Big deal. No one owes you anything. You're even. Move on. Check your expectations. I've went on many e dates in 7 years. Many just didn't "click". I've told a few no second dates because we are just not compatible at all, and got the wrath of psycho satan b*tch out of nowhere. Absolutely sociopsychotic defensive anal retentive insecure neurotic monster. Yeah, if I e date someone and realize that they are ONE of these night/ day personalities- I try to be polite as possible and tell them no second date. If they are too MENTALLY UNSTABLE I have no problem with IGNORING THEM to avoid dangerous drama, and threats to my personal safety.
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| 5/30/2011 7:09:35 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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carriebradshawc
Rockfield, KY
47, joined Apr. 2011
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RE: sorry I'm not interested vs Silent Exit.
I guess some ppl have had to deal w/ some less mature dates who "cant handle the truth" ... You know the one who you tell " I'm sorry .. but I'm just not feeling it with you"
So you think you did ur duty and let them know the truth.. then they call you, text you, knock on your door, and email you ... asking "but Why ? Why don't you like me ? What can I do to fix this? Please Tell Me Again. "
If this has ever happened to you.... it makes you leary of ever trying to explain things the next time you want to break it off.... Sort of like sayin' he's gun-shy.
OR it Could be that he's too experienced in the "love em and leave em" scene and this is his standard exit strategy...
Either way... there's no explaining his behavior ... sometinmes we just have to stop trying to understand and move on... 
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| 5/31/2011 2:35:46 AM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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jay2j
Valdosta, GA
46, joined Mar. 2011
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I got to tell you in theory its best to tell a person but in real life it is not, well not always but what I want to say is I have tried both and with some women you say "look this isn't what I want", they may ask you well why not, what's wrong with me? Hard questions to answer! If you tell them the truth, you offend a good person, and they carry that with them. If you lie it offend both you and the person cause you really can't lie to a woman about something like this, she will smell it out from your 2nd word and tell you "Is that the best you can come up with" then you feel like an a** for lying in the 1st place and a dumber a** cause she called you on it. Now she is angry and offended. Now that goes with them every where they go. But if you say nothing & don't return or answer her calls, she wonders, think about it, asked around about it, then drop it cause she's got so much input that goes in so many different ways until it just don't make good sense either way. Then she choose some answer she except and go on with her life. This is why its best to keep away from the sex for a while, no matter what your wants are saying or her wants are saying because if you sleep with her, bro this thing is gonna get really crazy. Well I want to say tell them the truth, stay away from the sex and communicate often and directly, when the questions come be prepared to say "look its just not for me right now" don't attempt to answer because as a men we will mess it up. Good Luck or better than that God bless!
James
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| 5/31/2011 7:29:53 AM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
68, joined Mar. 2008
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If we rely solely on the internet for our dating experiences, all of us are going to go through this at some time. The internet makes it very easy to just ignore someone once you meet them and you are not really attracted to them. It sometimes happens IRL, too, but IRL you can handle it. Fantasies are somewhat fulfilled on the internet erroneously. If you didn't get past Date 1, take the hint and move on. You weren't engaged, no empty promises were made (I hope), and we are all adults.
And...my dear friends, this is exactly why I will not jump into bed with a guy in the first date!
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| 6/1/2011 8:28:26 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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rokstar1977
San Jose, CA
36, joined Apr. 2011
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Well spoken, Susan. I once again became a victim of the "silent treatment", this time on PlentyOfFish, with a guy who I hand met yet, but was gearing up to meet and had potential both in the looks and personality departments.he suddenly became " too busy" to talk to me. Uggghhh, frustrating!
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| 6/5/2011 1:24:01 AM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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great_hands
Hammond, IN
38, joined May. 2010
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not everyone has good manners. Good luck with the next one!
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| 6/5/2011 6:36:41 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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4acommonpine
Sherman, TX
55, joined Oct. 2008
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Good topic and some great responses, I agree that it just depends on the person you are dealing with...sometimes ignoring them is ultimately the least hurtful way to deal with the situation. Sometimes just telling them there is no interest is the best way. I just try to sum up the personality and handle it the best way I can based on what I know about the person. Same goes the other way around, if I don't hear back from someone it means they are not interested makes no difference why, it is what it is. If you really like the person it can sting a bit I think that just makes us human and shows we still have the capacity to love.
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| 6/5/2011 7:39:32 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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pammypoo1343
Knoxville, TN
57, joined May. 2009
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Ive been the total dumb a** here. I met this guy and things were great for a few weeks, lots of talkin, texin, met in person a few times, jus great times together. Talking about everything, like we knew each other for ever. He said he had feelings, was suppose to go out and he stood me up, didnt talk for a while, he says im so sorry, you opened my eyes, i do know i have feelings, made another date, and guess wut? yes stood up again! WTH is wrong wit this guy? I had told him quit bein stuborn but this is beyond stubborn this is messin wit feelings. Now hes playin no talk again, if I was him id feel like shit to and be too embarrased to talk. Ya know that ol' sayin F--K me once shame on you, F--k me twice, shame on me. Well I took the stupid sign down, removed him from my friend list, and pray that he finds someone that treats him jus like he did me!!!! (oops dd I say that out loud)
[Edited 6/5/2011 7:40:45 PM ]
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| 6/5/2011 7:45:22 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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ashluvshyuh
Richmond, VA
22, joined Jun. 2011
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I like boysh=P lol
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| 6/5/2011 7:46:33 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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lisa21468
Newton, NJ
47, joined Dec. 2010
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I prefer just being ignored
no need to really know why they dont want you
their loss....
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| 6/5/2011 7:50:14 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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ashluvshyuh
Richmond, VA
22, joined Jun. 2011
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Im a lil saddish cozzz mah friend made my bf break up wit me n fall fur her n she was tellin him all this shit that i was usein him but i wusnt n it makesss me sad n i likeee himm but she allways tryin tuh steal ppls boyfriendss n it pisses me the hell off shes such a b*tch n a pain in the ass!!!! =„{
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| 6/5/2011 7:54:26 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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122750again
Sioux Falls, SD
64, joined Dec. 2008
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Is it just me, or does it drive you crazy if you meet someone for a date , and then when it seems to have gone at least ok, they go and ignore all attempts you make to contact you the next day, and the next... And the next, til you give up , frustrated and wondering what went so horribly wrong. I'd personally rather have the person just say to me directly, "I'm not interested in a second " rather than just press the ignore button and leave me hanging. This happened to me recently.
I'd much rather be told No 2nd Date is gonna happen...I'd sure tell him if I wasn't interested in having one Anything less then that is just BS
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| 6/5/2011 7:54:37 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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binderdundat
New Orleans, LA
54, joined Sep. 2008
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@
Im a lil saddish cozzz mah friend made my bf break up wit me n fall fur her n she was tellin him all this shit that i was usein him but i wusnt n it makesss me sad n i likeee himm but she allways tryin tuh steal ppls boyfriendss n it pisses me the hell off shes such a b*tch n a pain in the ass!!!! =„{
[Edited 6/5/2011 7:56:09 PM ]
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| 6/5/2011 8:30:06 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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pammypoo1343
Knoxville, TN
57, joined May. 2009
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exactly, he will get his! GOD works in mysterious ways. hee hee hee
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| 6/6/2011 7:49:13 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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wnnadance
Belle Plaine, KS
71, joined May. 2011
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i agree with you, i would like to know what happened too. maybe they just find it to difficult to say what they feel, but they should just think of it if it happens to them. what they would like to be told and how they would like to be told it. i hope that i can be nice and tell a man that it just isn't working for me, or if something has come up etc.
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| 6/6/2011 9:40:59 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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sassykat64
Stockton, CA
52, joined Feb. 2010
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That's messed up! I always call (good date!) or text (not-so-good) to say thanks for meeting me! If there was definitely no connection or sexual tension at all I'll still say 'Hi' online from time to time. I just don't ask for a second date.
Your situation sounds like you were on his B-list. His A-list is the women he really yearns to meet. The B-list? Backups. lol He was most likely having no luck with his A-list, so he 'settled' for someone high up on his B-list. After seeing you, and really enjoying your company, he was finally contacted by a woman on his A-list and just couldn't tell you the truth. Chances are his A-lister didn't work out (he was probably on HER B-list), so he's probably in your shoes right about now 
Personally, I don't have a B-list, and if I suspect I'm on a woman's B-list I don't pursue her....
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| 6/7/2011 2:23:16 AM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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bostonchris1215
Longview, TX
39, joined Sep. 2009
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Im a lil saddish cozzz mah friend made my bf break up wit me n fall fur her n she was tellin him all this shit that i was usein him but i wusnt n it makesss me sad n i likeee himm but she allways tryin tuh steal ppls boyfriendss n it pisses me the hell off shes such a b*tch n a pain in the ass!!!! =„{
jesus i lost brain cells reading this lol
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| 6/10/2011 8:54:42 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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mcguire4u
Bremen, GA
62, joined Sep. 2010
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Did you try to eat some of the food off of his plate? Ive seen people get bit.
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| 6/10/2011 8:59:50 PM |
Ignoring , or saying "sorry I'm not interested in a second date"? |
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truckdriverjohn
Branson, MO
59, joined May. 2009
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Never count your Chickens..You know the rest.
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