meli1982
Springfield, MA
age: 25
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i stole this from another forum, thought it was hilarious! 
THE 6 BEST SMART-ASS ANSWERS OF 2007:
SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during a flight on American Airlines.
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'
(i dont care who you are, that's funny!)
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the turkeys in a freezer at the grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough for her family.
She asked a stock boy, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said.
The kid replied, 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway.
A sign comes up that reads, ' Low Bridge Ahead'.
Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge.
Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up.
The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas.'
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles knowingly at the student, shakes her head and sweetly says, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'
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pnut759
Lynn, MA
age: 48
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that is totally hilarious. i just got home from seeing my sister in the hospital and that really took my mind off of things for a minute.i fell off my chair laughing.
thanx meli  :laughing:
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billericachick
Billerica, MA
age: 38
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Meli...That was so funny...LMAO 
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metalwraith
South Easton, MA
age: 33
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Similiar to #6 it was on an episode of The Critic I have... The stewardess askes Jay Scherman "Chicken or fish?" He was like "I'll have the chicken..." The stewardess is like "No, I mean what is it? chicken or fish?"
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cook53
Stoneham, MA
age: 52
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laughing::
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meli1982
Springfield, MA
age: 25
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welcome pnut!
i thought it was hilarious too!
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drumrman
Belmont, MA
age: 43
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good stuff! 
my life is based off of smartass answers. 
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wolffdream
Billerica, MA
age: 57
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Oh yeah drumr, YOU could write the book.....
ever consider stand up comedy????
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meli1982
Springfield, MA
age: 25
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just remember-
it's better to be a smartass than a dumbass!!!!!
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