Fayetteville, NC

3/29/2012 7:17:15 PM
titleworthy Fayetteville, NC 37, joined Nov. 2011	Ok so is it best to keep everything inside and let him believe what he wants? Do men not want to know that they are the only one? Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
3/29/2012 8:49:54 PM	Fayetteville, NC
wating2bfound Mooresville, NC 62, joined Oct. 2010	I believe it's all in the timing! If you give it the right amount of time and let him be the first to profess his feelings...even if he just kinda hints (like most men), he won't be scared off. But, if you try telling someone alot of gushy feelings too soon and before they're ready to hear them (even if they feel the same), it will scare anyone off. I know it would me! Take YOUR TIME. Let him take his! It's the best way IMHO!
3/30/2012 1:45:32 AM	Fayetteville, NC
aarmanii Charlotte, NC 47, joined Oct. 2010	That completely depends on what you feel and which kind of male one is expressing their feelings to. Tell an immature male you love him and I suspect he will run for the hills. Tell a grown, mature man and he will likely tell you where he stands or that he feels the same. Naturally a mature man enjoys being told and shown they are the only one, loved, cherished and all the other mushy stuff. [Edited 3/30/2012 1:45:42 AM ]
3/30/2012 9:32:11 AM	Fayetteville, NC
thodges83 Asheville, NC 32, joined Mar. 2012	as waiting2bfound said, i believe it's all in timing, though certainly emotional maturity plays a part too. i've certainly made the mistake of pouring my heart out to a woman too early in a relationship and had the same result, so it's not really a gender thing. personally, i think it's an "emotional availability" thing. if you're both giving each other a similar amount of availability or attention, then one of you suddenly goes way off the top end of the scale, it's definitely going to scare the other person. it's important that both partners feel that they share an equal (and hopefully gradually increasing) amount of interest in the relationship. my thought is, feel the emotions in the moment and express them through body language rather than words. not talking sex necessarily, little things will be picked up by a man with any experience or common sense (a long hug or tight hand squeeze, maybe a long gaze into his eyes, whatever feels right). share those words at a later time when you're confident that your feelings are reciprocated and his level of interest is similar to yours. my $0.02. interestingly enough, the same is true when going through a break up... seems like whoever is feeling rejected has a tendency to cling to the other person all the more tightly, which just pushes the other further away. counter-intuitively, just backing off entirely can sometimes bring the other person running back. it's worked for me. (btw, if i followed my own advice here all the time i probably wouldn't be single now) [Edited 3/30/2012 9:33:55 AM ]
3/30/2012 9:58:17 AM	Fayetteville, NC
rasta76 Durham, NC 39, joined Jun. 2011	NO ITS NOT GOOD TO KEEP IT INSIDE AN FAR AS A MAN WANTIN TO KNOW OR NEEDED TO KNOW IF HE IS THE ONLY ONE THAT SHOULD NOT BE SOMETHING THAT HE NEEDS TO BE TOLD BECAUSE A REAL MAN KNOWS THAT HE IS THE ONLY ONE BECAUSE HE DOES WHAT EVER HE NEEDS TO DO TO MAKE HIS WOMAN FEELS WANTED AN DO WHAT IT TAKES TO BE THE ONLY MAN.A REAL MAN DOES NOT HAVE TIME FOR ONLY BUT ONE AN IN THIS DAY AN TIME A WOMAN NEEDS MORE THAN JUST SEX MOST MEN FEEL LIKE THAT SEX IS WHAT DRIVES A WOMAN CRAZY BUT TO SOME IT DO.A REAL MAN KNOW THAT A WOMAN WANT TIME,A GOOD CONVO,WANT TO BE LOVE NOT JUST THE WORDS,WANT A MAN TO ENTER HER HEART NOT JUST HER PANTIES,WANTS HER MAN TO ASK HOW HER DAY WAS,WANT TO WORK HARD AN DONT HAVE TO COME HOME TO SOME BS,HOW ABOUT THIS GET OFF WORK AN COME TO MY SPOT ILL HAVE YOUR DINNER READY,YOUR BATH WATER RAN AN YOU CAN COME HOME AN RELAX AN PUT YOUR FEET UP AN I CAN PUT THE REMOTE IN YOUR HAND AN A PILLOW BEHIND YOUR BACK AN RUB YOUR FEET AN HOLD YOU UNTIL YOU FALL A SLEEP IN MY ARMS.IM JUST SAYIN THATS WHAT REAL MEN DO AN WE DONT HAVE TO BE ASKED TO DO IT. 100% ALLDAY EVERYDAY [Edited 3/30/2012 10:00:45 AM ]
3/30/2012 11:53:31 AM	Fayetteville, NC
mtnbohemian Franklin, NC 58, joined Feb. 2012	My answer to original question: Depends on the person..... And no, never good to "keep it all inside" - it's not being honest. I have no one to blame but myself, if I "let them think what they want", rather than speaking my head, heart & soul. No, not all at once, rather, as things come up, in the moment. 1 = We are not powerful enough (w/exception being: physical force) to "make" anyone anything. If they leave, via "scared off" - that is on them, not your doing. It is THEIR choice. 2 = All to often in America, at least, there is sooo much blame going on - She/he "made me" this, "made me" that..... And not enough owning of one's OWN choices. No one can "make" us do anything - again, unless via physical force. Our thoughts, our feelings, our choices - are all ours! 3 = And so, one cannot be on eggshells, afraid to say this or that - 4 = I believe - Be you. Be who you are, share who you are, when it feels right. "When in doubt, don't" = trust one's gut feeling. If affirmed, then share more. If one has to explain over & over - yet still one feels neither seen nor heard? Good indication one is so not connecting w/another. 5 = We are all different, in different places within ourselves - hence I seek kindred spirits - those people who can hear me, see me, value me, appreciate me & I them - WITHOUT having to TRY - simply by being ourselves.
3/30/2012 12:16:08 PM	Fayetteville, NC
irishdragon1000 Wendell, NC 47, joined Jun. 2009	Quote from thodges83: as waiting2bfound said, i believe it's all in timing, though certainly emotional maturity plays a part too. i've certainly made the mistake of pouring my heart out to a woman too early in a relationship and had the same result, so it's not really a gender thing. personally, i think it's an "emotional availability" thing. if you're both giving each other a similar amount of availability or attention, then one of you suddenly goes way off the top end of the scale, it's definitely going to scare the other person. it's important that both partners feel that they share an equal (and hopefully gradually increasing) amount of interest in the relationship. my thought is, feel the emotions in the moment and express them through body language rather than words. not talking sex necessarily, little things will be picked up by a man with any experience or common sense (a long hug or tight hand squeeze, maybe a long gaze into his eyes, whatever feels right). share those words at a later time when you're confident that your feelings are reciprocated and his level of interest is similar to yours. my $0.02. interestingly enough, the same is true when going through a break up... seems like whoever is feeling rejected has a tendency to cling to the other person all the more tightly, which just pushes the other further away. counter-intuitively, just backing off entirely can sometimes bring the other person running back. it's worked for me. (btw, if i followed my own advice here all the time i probably wouldn't be single now) I can agree with this. It is a judgement call, but you just can't throw too much too soon, like already picking out baby names on the first date. It's hard to say, really, but at the same time, don't wait too long either. Sometimes, tomorrow can be too late. I do agree it depends on timing on both parts, and maturity also plays a role. I suppose you need to see what your feelings are toward the other person. Do you trust them? If you do, you can go further with your feelings; you can't love someone you don't trust, because love is based on trust. How do they show they trust you? Do they allow you to hug them or hold their hand? Stuff like that. Maybe what you need to ask is "How do I feel about this person, etc?"
3/30/2012 2:29:51 PM	Fayetteville, NC
titleworthy Fayetteville, NC 37, joined Nov. 2011	Thanks guys it helps a lot to hear your thoughts!
3/30/2012 11:27:52 PM	Fayetteville, NC
mtnbohemian Franklin, NC 58, joined Feb. 2012	Best wishes titleworthy!
3/31/2012 12:38:29 PM	Fayetteville, NC
mtnbohemian Franklin, NC 58, joined Feb. 2012	ROFLMBO Satin!! LOLOLOL If that fella walks what he so eloquently talks? He's a gem indeed!!
3/31/2012 2:03:29 PM	Fayetteville, NC
wating2bfound Mooresville, NC 62, joined Oct. 2010	I still believe in timing and being appropriate with feelings you share. I know when I care for someone, I don't have to tell them, they already know by my actions. Telling me you love them right off the bat would scare the heck outta me. It's not a matter of "keeping it all inside." It's a matter of considering the other person in NOT speeling a lot of stuff to make yourself comfortable, at the expense of making them uncomfortable. What if you tell someone stuff they're not ready to hear? Then you unload yourself at their expense. And, what are they suppose to say/do if they're not ready to hear all that, or in the same place as you. I do believe it's a good way to drive someone away, if you are telling them becuz you don't want the burden of keeping certain untimely things to yourself. JMHO! Sharing too much so you don't have to "hold it all inside" and be burdened, is actually inconsiderate in my opinion!
4/14/2012 5:25:25 PM	Fayetteville, NC
borednc Buffalo, NY 39, joined Jul. 2010	telling someone how u feel once doesnt scare them off its wen its done over and over and over

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does telling him how you feel scare him off

Fayetteville, NC