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| 4/6/2012 6:31:31 PM |
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lonleynlovley
Plainville, MA
27, joined Jul. 2011
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we ve been together about a month now and he says he cant think of me as serious until he meets the most imporant person in my life...my son, but i cant bring my son around someone that i am cashually dating. any advice or thoughts. my son is 15months and has never met a man im interested in
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| 4/6/2012 8:01:57 PM |
Plainville, MA |
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hntinlf88
Gilbert, AZ
39, joined Mar. 2012
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we ve been together about a month now and he says he cant think of me as serious until he meets the most imporant person in my life...my son, but i cant bring my son around someone that i am cashually dating. any advice or thoughts. my son is 15months and has never met a man im interested in
that is really young i wouldn't worry about is too much just do the intro really slow and no kissing and stuff like that in front of kid jst do like lunch or something the first few times maybe a park..hope this helps
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| 4/7/2012 7:22:28 AM |
Plainville, MA |
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nobility4two
Webster, MA
43, joined Mar. 2012
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Being scared about your child getting attached to someone that you are uncertain about your status / if it isis going toon last is normal. I applaud you for thinking of your son first.
I agree, he is young...and will be fine. Make it fun for him and dont force the person on him.
It will also show you insight on the guy your dating...how he reacts, handles him and you...all together.
take the chance.
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| 4/7/2012 6:15:56 PM |
Plainville, MA |
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doc1257
Beachwood, OH
55, joined Mar. 2012
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To early, don't do it.
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| 4/8/2012 12:25:38 AM |
Plainville, MA |
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megpies
San Antonio, TX
37, joined Jan. 2012
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we ve been together about a month now and he says he cant think of me as serious until he meets the most imporant person in my life...my son, but i cant bring my son around someone that i am cashually dating. any advice or thoughts. my son is 15months and has never met a man im interested in
OK I see a problem here... He says he can't think of you seriously.. And you refer to it as casually dating. Sounds to me like he thinks things are going more seriously than you do. Perhaps explaining to him that you're still thinking it's casual might help him slow things down.
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| 4/10/2012 5:27:12 PM |
Plainville, MA |
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pike_co_rfd
Keokuk, IA
60, joined Jan. 2009
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Op in your other thread you said the guy isn't interested so much in you as he is your kid.
I think that ought to bring up some red fla gs, expspecialy after you say he is talking marriage, etc, on the very first date. But now wants to run.
Back off... And tell him to do the same. This all after reading your profile, looking at your pictures, and reading all your posts , seems like an attention thread.
If not, then you need to rethink this whole situation and put that childs safety first!!!!!
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| 4/11/2012 2:49:45 PM |
Plainville, MA |
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pingiluv
Albuquerque, NM
31, joined Feb. 2012
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For me a month is way too soon... I agree with pike...he might just be sweet talking you right now...you can never be too sure
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| 4/11/2012 10:05:25 PM |
Plainville, MA |
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georgiayettie
Cumming, GA
45, joined Jul. 2011
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Never, he is just trying to connect, no woman will meet my children until it is very serious, probably six months min and then would be introduced as a friend.
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| 4/11/2012 11:17:15 PM |
Plainville, MA |
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anja_lou514
Kissimmee, FL
40, joined May. 2011
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I've been dating someone for 9 months and he's only been around my children a total of 5 times. We had been dating for almost 3 before he ever met them. 
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| 4/13/2012 2:35:07 AM |
Plainville, MA |
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operative_31
Petersburg, AK
40, joined Nov. 2011
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think this through a lil bit. so he meets the kid{s}. whats the big deal? i mean sure, do a lil checkin out first. meet em a few times. but when the time comes why does the other person have to be introduced as the new bf/gf? i mean really, do you plan on groping eachother in front of the kids on the first time everyone is in the same room? its not like the kid is spending the day with them alone while your at work. meet up at a mall, go see a movie an have lunch. and a bonus is you get to kinda see how they are with kids. if they treat your kids crappy then wouldnt it be good to see it right away rather than a year into it when the whole relationship is based on putting the kid somewhere, like a babysitters or your moms or school or whatever? expecting someone to accept kids overnight when they have only seen you kid free for 6 months or so is only gonna seriously complicate things.
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| 4/14/2012 9:47:44 AM |
Plainville, MA |
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stringopearls
Huron, SD
58, joined Jul. 2009
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Trying to decide when to introduce someone to children is hard. I have been told it is better to introduce a person who is a friend as a friend. I was also told the things the news reports are so negative that it is good for a child to see 2 people act like they care about each other. In the past, I would have a professional check the person I was thinking about introducing to my child. Thought he would understand that I was just trying to provide safety for an innocent bystander. Did not work either. He wanted to meet my child very badly and later started saying and doing cruel things.
To respond to the OP, would it hurt to introduce the guy as a friend? You don't have to go into detail with your child. Many people I know have friends of the opposite sex. No need to have him spend the night etc. If you are not sure if this person can even be considered a friend, then wait until you feel sure one way or the other.
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| 4/14/2012 4:29:49 PM |
Plainville, MA |
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fearless8841
North Pole, AK
42, joined Jan. 2012
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If you're going to do it, start out with going to a park where he can play and then letting this man meet him in a very casual way. No pressure...
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| 4/14/2012 8:52:41 PM |
Plainville, MA |
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tack49
Hickory Flat, MS
51, joined Mar. 2012
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well it is hard to say what to do every one is differnt i work with kids i give ride lesson and train horses and yes kids will not trust any one at first but if you give kids a little time they will let you know if the one you are dated will be one they like some of the kids i work with like me more than other but all like me some trust me more than other but if you are to bring a person around as friend it no persure on the kids and that is what i do my kids know i date but when i have one that is special i will bring her around and we all go on a hores ride or a cook out with freinds if you do something with kids and friends because if the one you are dateding and the kids cant get along it will creat problems
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| 4/16/2012 9:53:28 PM |
Plainville, MA |
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ennalehcar
Marion, VA
36, joined May. 2011
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Be very very careful. I didn't introduce my kids to my ex until we had been together a few months and now they still ask to talk and visit him even tho they haven't seen him since October . it breaks my heart.
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lonleynlovley - Plainville, MA
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