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Honey, you were right
by sorpstar at 8/11/2014 5:10:23 PM


Blogs need a laugh

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke.

The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick.

He told her he couldn't stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor; she was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out!

Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to her.

She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.

Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran in to the bathroom.

The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes!

After years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.

She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey, you were right."

"All these years you have warned me and I didn't listen to you."


"What do you mean?" asked his wife.

"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, some Vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in."


Comments

thepatriot1776
8/11/2014 5:27:34 PM


elvissong
8/11/2014 5:43:24 PM

lee_in_lakeland



8/11/2014 5:47:49 PM


sorpstar
8/11/2014 10:34:20 PM

RIP Robin Williams..

sorpstar
8/11/2014 10:59:14 PM

Robin Williams Stand Up Jokes God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time. Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they’ve got nothing to lose. Politics: Poli, a Latin word meaning many; and tics meaning, bloodsucking creatures. In England, if you commit a crime, the police don’t have a gun and you don’t have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say Stop, or I’ll say stop again. Cocaine is God’s way of saying you’re making too much money. Do you think God gets stoned? I think so… look at the platypus. If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? My God. We’ve had cloning in the South for years. It’s called cousins. You’ll notice that Bush never speaks when Cheney is drinking water. You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) ‘It’s the same sex all the time.
sassieshe63



8/12/2014 2:43:07 PM

Cracked me up. Poor guy.

ezzgoingru
8/12/2014 4:30:32 PM

Ewww...
kooljinxe11



8/12/2014 7:32:29 PM

Damn Sorpstar that's one nasty mother F%#Ker!

sorpstar
8/12/2014 8:43:54 PM

Jinxie we have to make sure we just snore, not fart...at least she can still breathe...lol..

wildflowers777
8/14/2014 12:26:29 PM

OMG! I laughed.. laughed even before I finished reading the thing..