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Forums: Groups: Women's World: Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message
Page: 1, 2
6/4/2008 3:12:48 PM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  

chicaboom58
North Bergen, NJ
age: 59

 from a guy I met on DH. I am really starting to like him and keeping a certain distance because I don't want to scare him off. He approached me and we had been communicating, then we stopped and now it started up again. I am confused because I would like to take it to the next level and meet him but I don't know what to think. He has already mentioned meeting but not since we started up the second time. Can I please have some advice since most of my friends are either married or involved. I have been on other web sites and I can't begin to tell you the a**holes that I met. Have had my heart chewed up and spit out. Can't, no don't want to go through that again.
6/4/2008 6:00:09 PM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  

alicekathleen
Fresno, CA
age: 63

 I feel the biggest drawback to internet is the illusion that there are 1,000's of people out there,
and if you don't like the first fish, throw it back and catch another. For men, in particular, the temptation
to "keep looking" , messaging, calling etc must be intense. Just a guess and observation.
A strong individual who knows himself and what he seeks is the exception. If this man IS
the exception, you will know. Meanwhile, stay active, happy, open.
alice
6/5/2008 2:32:45 AM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  
nurse_nina
Florence, SC
age: 54

 There are so many more women then men on these dating sites and yes my observation is the same as Alice. I think if he gives you his phone number - he may be more serious about knowing you better. At least that's what a male friend on DH had told me when I questioned why some men are quick to give out their numbers.

I'm new to internet dating so I'm learning as I go along and I brush off the rejections like dandruff.

6/5/2008 8:21:14 PM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  

deannalynnr
Sparrows Point, MD
age: 44 online now!

 If you want to meet him then tell him...don't sit around waiting on him to mention it again.....he may be waiting to see if you are still interested since the two of you stopped talking....if thats what you want to do then go for it!
6/6/2008 3:04:15 AM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  
headstart68
Evansville, IN
age: 40

 You know he likes you, and you like him, too. Go ahead and ask. The more he likes you, the more afraid he might be of coming on too strong, too soon. Besides, the sooner you make plans, the sooner you meet!

Edited because I'm sleepy.



[Edited 6/6/2008 3:09:09 AM]
6/6/2008 7:32:52 PM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  

honeyhoney4
Benton, IL
age: 71

 Well from my way of seeing things like this.
Anything negative is a no no.
There is only a yes or no that is positive thought.

Your conscience is already telling you-NO-Block and delete him
from your life.
IF WE ONLY LISTEN TO OUR CONSCIENCE MORE- there would be less mistakes

JMHO -

6/8/2008 12:13:00 AM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  
lilique
Scottsdale, AZ
age: 50

 Hi there New Jerseyite from a fellow ex-New Yorker:

It has been my experience, if these guys are dragging their heels, you can be sure they are preoccupied with their current marriage or a possible relationship that they already are in. Some of these men on the websites have bad intentions or ulterior motives. Some correspond to fulfill their egos and nothing more. They took a poll and they found out that about 60% of the people on these websites are married and/or lying about their current situation (age, marital status, etc.)

Granted, you may be one of the lucky ones and he may turned out to be a really nice guy, but you need to find out more about him and ask as many questions as you possible can. They are very good at withholding pertinent information.

Good Luck!
6/8/2008 12:20:45 AM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  
anj08
Wailuku, HI
age: 40

 Life is an adventure. You can sit back and let it pass you by or you can jump on that horse and ride it freely. If the opportunity presents itself, maybe you should take a chance. BUT, have your guard up to some extent and be careful! Life is out there for all of us to enjoy. Yes, there is bad unfortuntely, but there is also good. Take it easy and slow but I say take the chance.
6/8/2008 4:01:16 PM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  
sugaranspice74
Sneedville, TN
age: 47

 Google him see if there's anything there.Then no matter what you find if anything,go with your gut.Just use his screename see what you can find out.If he's backin off it's for a reason.I'm not trying to tell you what to do but ask yourself.What happened the first time? If you still are wondering just ask him straight out,the worst he can say is NO.
6/10/2008 4:07:02 PM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  
delphie
Columbus, OH
age: 47
Quote from anj08:
Life is an adventure. You can sit back and let it pass you by or you can jump on that horse and ride it freely. If the opportunity presents itself, maybe you should take a chance. BUT, have your guard up to some extent and be careful! Life is out there for all of us to enjoy. Yes, there is bad unfortuntely, but there is also good. Take it easy and slow but I say take the chance.


Hi there! I agree with the above comment 100% and from my own recent experience I would also caution you about taking things slow...EVEN if he seems to be offering "his house to you"... don't take it literal. It may just be the way he chooses to communicate. Go on the date, enjoy it, look into his eyes and see what happens. You will get a feel then for how you feel when you are by his side and he will get a chance to do the same. Afterwards... take your time... to talk and communicate... TAKE time to get to know him and he to know you! Best wishes!

In my opinion, if HE is the right guy and things are meant to be... the speed of the relationship will be determined by the many times you write, exchange phone calls and visit the other... until you both know it will or not work. Either way, the lessons learned are good for you said "yes!" and lived the adventure!!!
6/13/2008 10:59:18 AM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  

chicaboom58
North Bergen, NJ
age: 59

 Thank you to all the ladies that have responded to my question. Unfortunately, the guy turns out to be a player and been there, done that and don't want any of that Did find someone else and am working on that. Thank you again ladies and best to all
6/15/2008 11:32:59 AM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  
sugaranspice74
Sneedville, TN
age: 47

 I figured,it wasn't my place to say.I'm glad you found him out.
6/16/2008 10:35:58 AM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  

chicaboom58
North Bergen, NJ
age: 59
Quote from sugaranspice74:
I figured,it wasn't my place to say.I'm glad you found him out.


He is a player, but guess what he's back and don't know what to expect this time. Will take it very slowly, have a couple of things going on so we'll see. Thank you again for the advice.
6/29/2008 1:08:51 PM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  

olderblueeyes
Morganton, NC
age: 52

 leave the players alone. i have known a man for years and still be burned. But this new internet dating has make it easier for me. The biggest thing that I have learned on here is to askfor something. I refuse to sit here and wait for him to come over or even call. They will never see that they are wrong. That's my 2 cents.
6/30/2008 9:30:25 AM Ladies, need help..... getting mixed message  

chicaboom58
North Bergen, NJ
age: 59
Quote from olderblueeyes:
leave the players alone. i have known a man for years and still be burned. But this new internet dating has make it easier for me. The biggest thing that I have learned on here is to askfor something. I refuse to sit here and wait for him to come over or even call. They will never see that they are wrong. That's my 2 cents.


Thank you, I have moved on. I look at that it is his loss not mine, there are plenty of fish in my pond so I don't sweat it anymore. Funny though he now keeps coming back for more but this time he is barking up the wrong tree. Thanks again for the advice.

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