| 6/14/2008 9:28:30 AM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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oliveoil2
Cuba, MO
age: 48
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Yes yes and yes! It was and is my ex husband. He lied to get me to love him, he lied to get me to move............
the bank won't sell it to him. Does that sound like a freakin homeowner????? See what I mean? Lies lies lies lies lies.
Susan
wow,
you did have big episode,
glad you came out of it,
I was going to therapy group,
my nurse, suggested,
my ex, was narcissic,
lead me back to EX.
stop attending as every session, lead back to my EX...
are we all in denial that we accepted liar in our lives?
harder to get them OUT...
cause problems... if children,
you got to put on happy face,
turn energy into coop with.
or go totally depressed.
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| 6/14/2008 9:50:48 AM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 61
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Yes, I went through hell and back. Funny, but I always stood up for him with his family who had nothing but contempt for him. In case anyone wonders what the problem with narcisstic people may be, here is the scoop:
Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance and a deep need for admiration. They believe that they're superior to others and have little regard for other people's feelings. But behind this mask of ultra-confidence lies a fragile self-esteem, vulnerable to the slightest criticism.
Narcissistic personality disorder is one of several types of personality disorders. Personality disorders are conditions in which people have traits that cause them to feel and behave in socially distressing ways, limiting their ability to function in relationships and in other areas of their life, such as work or school. In particular, narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by dramatic, emotional behavior, in the same category as histrionic, antisocial and borderline personality disorders. Narcissistic personality disorder treatment is centered around psychotherapy.
Signs and symptoms
Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:
-Believing that you're better than others
-Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
-Exaggerating your achievements or talents
-Expecting constant praise and admiration
-Believing that you're special
-Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
-Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
-Taking advantage of others
-Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
-Being jealous of others
-Believing that others are jealous of you
-Trouble keeping healthy relationships
-Setting unrealistic goals
-Being easily hurt and rejected
-Having a fragile self-esteem
-Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don't value themselves more than they value others.
When you have narcissistic personality disorder, you may come across as conceited, boastful or pretentious. You often monopolize conversations. You may belittle or look down on people you perceive as inferior. You may have a sense of entitlement. And when you don't receive the special treatment to which you feel entitled, you may become very impatient or angry. You may also seek out others you think have the same special talents, power and qualities — people you see as equals. You may insist on having "the best" of everything — the best car, athletic club, medical care or social circles, for instance.
But underneath all this grandiosity often lies a very fragile self-esteem. You have trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism. You may have a sense of secret shame and humiliation. And in order to make yourself feel better, you may react with rage or contempt and efforts to belittle the other person to make yourself appear better.
Susan
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| 6/14/2008 10:56:21 AM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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anitalover
Jackson, MI
age: 46
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It is something that can destroy you if it continues long enough. They are so convinced of thier stories or take on something, that to disagree can at some point can cause them to step over the line and possibly cause harm or death to you.
You know it....What is the less of 2 evils?
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| 6/14/2008 10:57:58 AM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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anitalover
Jackson, MI
age: 46
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I worked for a man who was a chronic liar. He was a decorated war hero (no he was a janitor at the South Dakota Guard base) He was a Doctor. (No he never graduatted or attended highschool) He transported the Space Shuttle (no.) He flew on Airforce One with Clinton (no.) Eventually when a background check was run it was discovered he had never attended school beyond the 7th grade, drove semi truck illegally with his father and had no military back ground at all.
The really awful thing is when his stories began to unravel...he ended up being confronted about the inaccuracies by his long time significant other and business partner and people he had lied to repeatedly...
He freaked and basically lost his faculties - took a sail boat (custom ordered and brand new!) hostage - pulling it behind his Suburban up and down gravel roads in Iowa until he rammed all of them into the front window of his lover's house, with a back seat full of grenades and the front sit full of loaded guns...
He ended up with 28 felony charges against him.
The funny thing is he skipped the state and now lives in a Marina on a small island off Fort Myers Beach Florida...
I always wonder what lies he's telling people now.
To answer the OP's question - I think there are only two things you can do; 1.) completely leave their life, they will not change. 2.) accept it and tolerate it.
I believe in radical honesty and total truth at all times - I couldn't put up with anyone lying for any reason.
And I thought we could never relate....
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| 6/14/2008 11:00:24 AM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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xlibra75x
Gateway, AR
age: 33
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The ONLY reason I have to deal w/ em' is cuz I'm related to em,....
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| 6/14/2008 11:04:49 AM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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judit0606
Big Stone Gap, VA
age: 52
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YES, I've have had to deal with a chronic liar. They NEED professional help so what I do is just let everything they say go in one ear and out the other. My feeling is that if they would lie about one thing UNIMPORTANT they would lie about MANY IMPORTANT issues. I hope this helps...PEACE
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| 6/14/2008 11:45:47 PM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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808_sm
Honolulu, HI
age: 41 online now!
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Like has been said NUMEROUS times on the thread...NOTHING but drama can come of it. However....perhaps those who WANT to figure out a way to keep a pathological liar in their lives have their own pathology????? Just being honest.
Wow...You just said I have issues.
You are assuming too much. I see this person a 4 or 5 times a month Just to give her a lift to the store, or to hang out with at a club, and some month I just talk to her on the phone once or twice that month. I am not trying to keep her in my life. Just trying to understand her sickness and see if there is anything I can do to help.
But if asking how to help a person with a sickness and in turn learn a little bit more about the sickness, is an indication to you that I have issues. Then you are 100% right, because some of my friends have issues. Some of my family members have issues. And trying to help any of them and not walk way means I have issues. Then I got issues.
My world is not apparently not perfect as yours and I won't walk away from friends and family members who aren't harming anyone and yet they have sickness. I'll always try to help if I can.
[Edited 6/15/2008 12:13:56 AM PST]
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| 6/14/2008 11:56:07 PM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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808_sm
Honolulu, HI
age: 41 online now!
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Signs and symptoms
Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:
-Believing that you're better than others
-Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
-Exaggerating your achievements or talents
-Expecting constant praise and admiration
-Believing that you're special
-Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
-Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
-Taking advantage of others
-Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
-Being jealous of others
-Believing that others are jealous of you
-Trouble keeping healthy relationships
-Setting unrealistic goals
-Being easily hurt and rejected
-Having a fragile self-esteem
-Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
This is it!!!! Not as harsh but there is a little of each one in all her stories.
I never thought this thread would go past the first page. After listening to everyone stories and advice I realize this is way way over my head. I am just going to listen in one ear and out the other and let her family deal with it. I'd try the calling her out and that just leads to a bigger story with more dramma. Plus I don't have the time and effort to keep calling her out. And let face it, once I in a committed relationship that leading to marriage she'll be one of the first female friends I never want to hear from again. So this is not someone I will be knowing for the rest of my life.
I learned a lot....
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| 6/14/2008 11:59:21 PM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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texrenee531
Austin, TX
age: 35
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HMMMMMMMMM, let me think...????????? YES
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| 6/15/2008 12:26:42 AM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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ladyvirtue52
Redding, CA
age: 53
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Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? I mean the type of person who believes their stories even though they are a flat out lie. They don’t have both oars in the water, but their lies aren’t hurtful, more amusing than anything, but it is a mental problem, and they do have a big heart. You feel sorry for them and feel like they just need a friend.
Beside running away from them as an answer has anyone ever dealt with someone like this? Do you just listen to their stories and let them go in one ear and out the other or is there a way of helping them?
OMG yes! Too many times in my life! I am dealing with yet another one right now! Also, people who think they know it all..always have an answer for everything and dont know how to just listen..grrrrrr!!
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| 6/15/2008 12:42:23 AM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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pallyboy
Ramona, CA
age: 49
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My oldest brother asked me if he could stay with me once and of course I said yes. It had been over 20 years since I had spent any time with him. Imagine my surprise finding out he was a pathalogical liar. He wouldn't,...or couldn't tell the truth if his life depended on it. And he would argue his lies until you couldn't listen anymore. And if you caught him in one of his lies he would just laugh at you like you are the most stupid son-of-a-b*tch in the world for believing him. I don't understand it to this day,...but I had to say see ya in another lifetime Bro.
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| 6/15/2008 10:40:55 AM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 61
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Advice... listen to the stories, believe half of what is said and do not try to fix thier current problem no matter how tempting it will be. It is like dealing with someone who is a child for life, never taking responsibility for any of thier actions. It will always be someone else's fault and none of thier own.
OMG soooooooooooooo true!
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| 6/15/2008 10:48:53 AM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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pattilee3
Norfolk, VA
age: 50
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Ex was narcissist, sex addict and of course chronic liar. Dumb me believed him for 22 years!!! I can sspot them now, though. Even if just a friend, I run, only leads to you getting into their chronic drama, who needs it?
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| 6/15/2008 2:48:36 PM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 61
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Who are you talking to Earth???? Ohhhhhhhhh, you cut and pasted his earlier reply. OK y'all can call me blonde now 
*edited for being stupid
[Edited 6/15/2008 2:55:09 PM PST]
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| 6/15/2008 8:43:45 PM |
Has anyone ever dealt with a chronic liar? |
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winesong
Bend, OR
age: 61
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I HAVE NEVER EXPERIENCED THIS BEHAVIOR,
AND i COUNT MY LUCKY STARS...
be selective, if things seems too good to be true at first..
you must ask *what is wrong here???*///
avoid the obvious ** too good too be true..and walk away fast**..
Wine
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