| 7/7/2008 3:20:06 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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immabluefish
Orlando, FL
age: 46
|
My friend and I were discussing this and thought it would be interesting to see what the DH community felt.
My friend met a man online and they talked for about 2 months before meeting. First meeting went well, continued into a 2nd and 3rd meeting(Long distance, requires plane trips) They had a great time but when she got home he called and said "I don't feel an attraction to you like a lover/bf but we can be friends." Sex was involved but only on the second meeting and he paid for all tickets. I call bullsh** because I feel that you know if you're attracted to someone after the first meeting, at least as far as physically. She said at least he is honest and is thinking he is a great guy for it.
Thoughts?
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| 7/7/2008 3:21:35 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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cheygirl
Riverton, WY
age: 45
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I would agree with her take on it. 
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| 7/7/2008 3:22:16 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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crow8
Ponca City, OK
age: 37
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an expensive booty call?
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| 7/7/2008 3:23:50 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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immabluefish
Orlando, FL
age: 46
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an expensive booty call?
If thats the case why not get more booty?
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| 7/7/2008 3:25:11 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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jason22
Ewing, KY
age: 30
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Depends on who made the first move on the sex part, if he did, then your probebly right, if she did there is a decent chance he was just being honest
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| 7/7/2008 3:35:51 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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immabluefish
Orlando, FL
age: 46
|
Depends on who made the first move on the sex part, if he did, then your probebly right, if she did there is a decent chance he was just being honest
So if she did he had pity sex with her?
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| 7/7/2008 3:39:13 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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julymorning07
Saint James, MO
age: 58
|
Oh, he's being honest. If she wanted more than a superficial fling, she shouldn't have had sex with him on the second date.  (I did read that right, didn't I??)
Doesn't matter all that much about the cyber relationship. It's only as reliable as the honesty of those involved.
Reality is in the flesh. I guess if she was as curious as he was about the sex, that's fine.
He found out all he wanted to know, and apparently it wasn't attractive enough to keep his interest.
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| 7/7/2008 3:39:40 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 52
|
the sex wasnt good enough for him?
meaning the connection you make while making love
If thats the case it takes a bit of time to make that kind of connection happen with 2 ppl.
understand ittakes more than the first time. The first time isn't always that good..give it a bit of time and it becomes fantastic.
I think this happen with older ppl ..jmo
[Edited 7/7/2008 3:43:06 PM ]
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| 7/7/2008 3:40:22 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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crow8
Ponca City, OK
age: 37
|
an expensive booty call?
If thats the case why not get more booty?
Us guys are idiots, we will pay anything just too get a piece of a** 
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| 7/7/2008 3:46:25 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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immabluefish
Orlando, FL
age: 46
|
Oh, he's being honest. If she wanted more than a superficial fling, she shouldn't have had sex with him on the second date. (I did read that right, didn't I??)
Doesn't matter all that much about the cyber relationship. It's only as reliable as the honesty of those involved.
Reality is in the flesh. I guess if she was as curious as he was about the sex, that's fine.
He found out all he wanted to know, and apparently it wasn't attractive enough to keep his interest.
So why the 3rd trip?
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| 7/7/2008 3:50:34 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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llh5
Virginia Beach, VA
age: 53
|
I'm throwing up the bullshit flag on this guy. Wanted to get laid, and did. If he was honest, he would have told her after the 2nd meeting.
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| 7/7/2008 3:51:57 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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fredricko
Pico Rivera, CA
age: 52
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attraction dosent always lead to love
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| 7/7/2008 4:00:24 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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jason22
Ewing, KY
age: 30
|
Depends on who made the first move on the sex part, if he did, then your probebly right, if she did there is a decent chance he was just being honest
So if she did he had pity sex with her?
Its possible, but not always the case, guys almost always won't turn it down because of a few reasons, from out point of veiw we are used to rejection, and we don't take it personal, but the reason guys almost always won't turn it down if the girl makes the first move is this, almost all girls that have ever been turned down take it personal, and most guy know this and we don't want to hurt their feelings, or make them feel bad about themselves, the other reason could be simply that he the doesn't want her to think he is gay, and he doesn't want her getting any vicious rumors started that he is! So yeah it could be pitty sex, or he just doesn't want to be called gay, but if he made the first move that you are probebly right.
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| 7/7/2008 4:00:37 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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immabluefish
Orlando, FL
age: 46
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I'm throwing up the bullshit flag on this guy. Wanted to get laid, and did. If he was honest, he would have told her after the 2nd meeting.
Thank you
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| 7/7/2008 4:09:16 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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monique08
Arlington, TX
age: 21
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I'm throwing up the bullshit flag on this guy. Wanted to get laid, and did. If he was honest, he would have told her after the 2nd meeting.
I agree 100%
[Edited 7/7/2008 4:09:25 PM ]
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| 7/7/2008 4:14:15 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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beu24
Virginia Beach, VA
age: 51
|
Oh, he's being honest. If she wanted more than a superficial fling, she shouldn't have had sex with him on the second date. (I did read that right, didn't I??)
Doesn't matter all that much about the cyber relationship. It's only as reliable as the honesty of those involved.
Reality is in the flesh. I guess if she was as curious as he was about the sex, that's fine.
He found out all he wanted to know, and apparently it wasn't attractive enough to keep his interest.
Well said and the sex was probably horrible for him not to keep her. He has made an investment and it was not worth it to him.
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| 7/7/2008 4:26:21 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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immabluefish
Orlando, FL
age: 46
|
Interesting that neither of us brought up the fact that he might have thought she sucked in bed...LOL...
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| 7/7/2008 4:29:55 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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jason22
Ewing, KY
age: 30
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Interesting that neither of us brought up the fact that he might have thought she sucked in bed...LOL...
True, beleive it or not I didn't even think of that LOL
[Edited 7/7/2008 4:31:35 PM ]
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| 7/7/2008 5:19:49 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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stanizz
Fort Washington, MD
age: 55
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I aree with the opinion that the sex sucked. Why fly awoman to get laid,or maybe the intimacy just wasnt there that he was looking for.[kinky enough]
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| 7/7/2008 5:20:40 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 45
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Maybe he said it as an excuse... maybe he met someone else, someone local; maybe he had someone else; who knows.
Seems like a lot of time and money spent for sex tho- I think there must be more to it. And if the attraction is there, and the sex is not stellar, well, that can be worked on. It might even be fun
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| 7/7/2008 5:35:45 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
|
blackrose79
Fort Lauderdale, FL
age: 31
|
My friend and I were discussing this and thought it would be interesting to see what the DH community felt.
My friend met a man online and they talked for about 2 months before meeting. First meeting went well, continued into a 2nd and 3rd meeting(Long distance, requires plane trips) They had a great time but when she got home he called and said "I don't feel an attraction to you like a lover/bf but we can be friends." Sex was involved but only on the second meeting and he paid for all tickets. I call bullsh** because I feel that you know if you're attracted to someone after the first meeting, at least as far as physically. She said at least he is honest and is thinking he is a great guy for it.
Thoughts?
She made the error of sharing her "commodities" with him way too early...things like that are to be savored...built up...embraced...
Her priorities were not in tuned with her common sense...
Men have given opinions in regards to "obtaining a conqubine" too quickly...they say.."if she beds that quickly with me...the world is obviously her oyster"...
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| 7/7/2008 5:37:33 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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immabluefish
Orlando, FL
age: 46
|
Interesting replies...
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| 7/7/2008 5:41:51 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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cgrl
Norristown, PA
age: 49
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He is full of crap- he just wanted to get laid and then backpeddles with her.
A great guy? She is trying to convince herself because she laid him and she knows
she prabably shouldnt have.
He seperated love and sex thats all- he had sex with her. Its a shame women
fall for this stupid game. If they would just wait and see what kind of guy
he is instead of doing the "IN" thing and having sex with him right away.
Her misery is her own and believe me when your not around she is miserable- she also knows your right.
[Edited 7/7/2008 5:44:13 PM ]
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| 7/7/2008 5:43:41 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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tlc4u46
Santa Barbara, CA
age: 50
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Better now than 6 mos from now.
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| 7/7/2008 5:44:20 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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castertroy
Belmar, NJ
age: 41
|
Ummm...
Look at it this way.
At least he didn't drag her along and misled her with stories and lies.
It's hard to really know what exactly happened since none of us were really there, so lets try to "assume" that the guy was being honest, he paid for the tickets , and i presume treated her as a lady.
Perhaps the sex was not what he was expecting, perhaps it was just the wrong time and place.
Could it be an excuse?
Possibly.
Only one person knows the true answer to that question.
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| 7/7/2008 5:48:16 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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canufi6my
Lawrenceville, GA
age: 61
|
I think you need to put her on line, then we can make a better call on this one.
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| 7/7/2008 5:48:33 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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sadeygreen
Lowell, MA
age: 51
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I think he was being very honest and good for him but I also think it was to soon for sex,maybe I am oldfashioned but I think its important to either have deep feelings or be in love with someone before you sleep with them,I know I don't want someone who would have sex so soon in a dating relationship.
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| 7/7/2008 5:56:20 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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canufi6my
Lawrenceville, GA
age: 61
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I feel the same way, unless I'm forced!
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| 7/7/2008 6:05:47 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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justforums
Killeen, TX
age: 42
|
Here is my opinion from a guys point of view. Nobody buys three plane ticket just to get laid. Sex isnt that hard to get even for guys. I think he liked her, but just didnt feel the connection, was waiting for it to materialize and when he didnt was honest about it. He could have stayed home and had sex.
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| 7/7/2008 6:09:32 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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canufi6my
Lawrenceville, GA
age: 61
|
After reading the post the third time, and giving it some thought, could hygiene be playing a hidden part in the parting? 
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| 7/7/2008 6:12:06 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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immabluefish
Orlando, FL
age: 46
|
After reading the post the third time, and giving it some thought, could hygiene be playing a hidden part in the parting?
Hygiene? I don't think so but then again I don't know about her "personal" hygiene if you know what I mean...I was going to let her read these posts but maybe it will just hurt her feelings more...
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| 7/7/2008 6:12:58 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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immabluefish
Orlando, FL
age: 46
|
Here is my opinion from a guys point of view. Nobody buys three plane ticket just to get laid. Sex isnt that hard to get even for guys. I think he liked her, but just didnt feel the connection, was waiting for it to materialize and when he didnt was honest about it. He could have stayed home and had sex.
Fair observation...
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| 7/7/2008 6:19:43 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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canufi6my
Lawrenceville, GA
age: 61
|
Hey, happened to me before, great looking chick, first date just getting to know each other, second date ended up in bed, bad hygiene, had sex anyway, thought maybe just that time, a week later, same thing, she asked what's wrong, I said I just wanted to be friends, who knows things may improve.
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| 7/7/2008 6:27:32 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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your_sweetie
Yuba City, CA
age: 52
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eighter he realized he really was not attracted to her after several meetings for reasons she will never know unless he tells her.
Or old/ new girlfriend is in the picture.
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| 7/7/2008 7:32:13 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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immabluefish
Orlando, FL
age: 46
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Or old/ new girlfriend is in the picture.
Thats possible
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| 7/7/2008 7:38:29 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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keepitquiet06
Lewiston, ME
age: 37
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I've been in a similar situation, very long distance and it went on for a long time. It ended right around the time he found someone else he was more interested in...
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| 7/7/2008 7:39:04 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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angelsart
O Fallon, IL
age: 41
|
I'm gonna state the obvious here (I hope! LOL).
If he's not interested in her that way and he's "such a great guy for being honest" why did he take advantage of her by having sex with her and coming back a third time (not implying sex on the third date tho).
My guess is that he came back and she really liked him and maybe she came on too fast and heavy for him so he bailed out early! Just a guess tho not knowing more details.
But please don't say he's such a great guy, unless of course he told her that BEFORE having sex with her! LOL
Good luck
PS... and I agree with you about knowing on the first date if you're attracted enough physically to someone to want to date/have sex!
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| 7/7/2008 7:48:58 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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luckyno7
Georgetown, FL
age: 55
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only he knows for sure
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| 7/7/2008 7:49:54 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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jhamm85
Fort Campbell, KY
age: 25
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She better have put out if he was paying the whole thing...
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| 7/7/2008 7:53:13 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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insomniac554
Staten Island, NY
age: 28
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I'm throwing up the bullshit flag on this guy. Wanted to get laid, and did. If he was honest, he would have told her after the 2nd meeting.
Sorry, but it just doesn't seem likely that this is the case. With plane fares what they are, no mans going to pay that much for a simple booty call, so he obviously thought there was something more to it.
Why is it so hard to believe that he simply didn't feel any physical chemistry and decided to end it before either person got to attached? Sounds to me that he was telling the truth, simplest explanation and all that.
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| 7/7/2008 8:00:30 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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judit0606
Big Stone Gap, VA
age: 53
|
I feel the same way, unless I'm forced!
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| 7/8/2008 6:46:01 AM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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ccherie
Salem, OR
age: 56
|
Hey, happened to me before, great looking chick, first date just getting to know each other, second date ended up in bed, bad hygiene, had sex anyway, thought maybe just that time, a week later, same thing, she asked what's wrong, I said I just wanted to be friends, who knows things may improve.
I am not sure I understand this "bad hygiene".... Generally this is something you can figure out, well before you get into bed??? There was a thread discussing what we thought we smelled like, and perfume was discussed...if someone wears perfume or too much that would be a real trigger for me as to hygiene. If a person isn't an obvious stink bomb while dressed, then they shouldn't be when they are not. Maybe people have a natural scent that others are simply not attracted too???
I am very sensitive to scent...so I am not discussing this as an excuse for anyone... but it does seem to come into play when when finding someone so, it is worth a thought
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| 7/8/2008 7:24:24 AM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 63
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I think he got what he wanted and this being honest thing is just crap. Big money spawns a lot of bullshit, if you know what I mean. She has to ask herself how many other women he has flown out to meet him. I met my ex on the net, he lived 3,000 miles away, and I made sure I paid for my own flights because I didn't want him whining if I decided he wasn't the right man for me. More and more, I am not trusting the internet for dating purposes because both men and women are using it to get what they want, then throwing away someone's heart without even thinking of the consequences. My ex went on and on about this girl he was "doing" while we were waiting for the divorce. He even started a fight with me, then called her when I was ranting to say "I love you, see how she is???!!!" Now that he is done with her (yes, in the end he said he didn't want to be more than friends), he just threw her heart away. She was ready to move in with him into a new house and set up a relationship. But here's the real zinger: she's separated from her current husband, but still living in his house!!! I think it was a matter of survival sex for both of them.
At least your friend doesn't have to sit and wonder what happened. Some men come on strong, get what they want, then disappear into thin air. Oh, and women do that, too! I am sorry for your friend. She learned a valuable lesson. If you want to have sex, fine. Just don't fall in love with a person you hardly know from his/her type written words.
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| 7/9/2008 12:34:36 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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llh5
Virginia Beach, VA
age: 53
|
Here is my opinion from a guys point of view. Nobody buys three plane ticket just to get laid. Sex isnt that hard to get even for guys. I think he liked her, but just didnt feel the connection, was waiting for it to materialize and when he didnt was honest about it. He could have stayed home and had sex.
Don't be so certain a man wouldn't buy a plane ticket to get laid. I know one that has. Look at it this way, some men spend that money on prostitutes......
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| 7/9/2008 12:56:03 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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daddyduck
Splendora, TX
age: 58
|
The sad part is it doesnn't matter why, what's done is done. Close the book and better love next time. If he's making excuses he's sorry, if he's honest better to know it now, than later. The result is the same, and the motivation really doesn't matter, let it go and live again
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| 7/9/2008 12:58:00 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
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immabluefish
Orlando, FL
age: 46
|
The sad part is it doesnn't matter why, what's done is done. Close the book and better love next time. If he's making excuses he's sorry, if he's honest better to know it now, than later. The result is the same, and the motivation really doesn't matter, let it go and live again
Great advice...I am going to show her this one!
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| 7/9/2008 6:29:49 PM |
Is he being honest or making excuses?? |
|
jason22
Ewing, KY
age: 30
|
My friend and I were discussing this and thought it would be interesting to see what the DH community felt.
My friend met a man online and they talked for about 2 months before meeting. First meeting went well, continued into a 2nd and 3rd meeting(Long distance, requires plane trips) They had a great time but when she got home he called and said "I don't feel an attraction to you like a lover/bf but we can be friends." Sex was involved but only on the second meeting and he paid for all tickets. I call bullsh** because I feel that you know if you're attracted to someone after the first meeting, at least as far as physically. She said at least he is honest and is thinking he is a great guy for it.
Thoughts?
She made the error of sharing her "commodities" with him way too early...things like that are to be savored...built up...embraced...
Her priorities were not in tuned with her common sense...
Men have given opinions in regards to "obtaining a conqubine" too quickly...they say.."if she beds that quickly with me...the world is obviously her oyster"...
I agree with that, guys do think like that
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