| 12/29/2006 3:35:23 AM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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ol_hillbilly
Lowry City, MO
age: 47
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(Too much seriousness in here for me. So I thawt I'd loosen it up a bit.)
1. The doors are never locked.
2. The Call to Worship is ,"Y'all come on in!"
3. People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the Ark.
4. The Preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" - and five guys stand up.
5. The restroom is outside.
6. Opening day of deer hunting season is recognized as an official church holiday.
7. A member requests to be buried in his four-wheel drive truck because, "I ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get me out of".
8. In the annual stewardship drive there is at least one pledge of "two calves."
9. Never in its entire 100-year history has one of its pastors had to buy any meat or vegetables.
10. When it rains, everybody's smiling.
11. Prayers regarding the weather are a standard part of every worship service.
12. A singing group is known as "The O.K. Chorale."
13. The church directory doesn't have last names.
14. The pastor wears boots.
15. Four generations of one family sit together in worship every Sunday.
16. The only time people lock their cars in the parking lot is during the summer and then only so their neighbors can't leave them a bag of squash.
17. There is no such thing as a "secret'' sin.
18. Baptism is referred to as "branding.''
19. There is a special fund-raiser for a new septic tank.
20. Finding and returning lost sheep is not just a parable.
21. You miss worship one Sunday morning and by 2 o'clock that afternoon you have had a dozen phone calls inquiring about your health.
22. High notes on the organ set dogs in the parking lot to howling.
23. People wonder when Jesus fed the 5,000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish
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| 12/29/2006 5:00:49 AM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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gawd
Appleton, WI
age: 53
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LMAO hill that was great
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| 12/29/2006 9:30:25 AM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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genuinedee
Crystal Lake, IL
age: 48
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Well, faith and religion is a serious subject and that is why we post in this one, right?
On the other hand... the above was funny!!!
Thanks for the chuckle!
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| 12/29/2006 12:48:40 PM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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wolfy9459
Dayton, OH
age: 45
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Thank you Hill for the laugh.
Kenny
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| 12/29/2006 1:24:48 PM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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ol_hillbilly
Lowry City, MO
age: 47
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God has a sense of humour. He proves it everyday. Open yer eyes.
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| 12/30/2006 12:32:55 AM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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lynn53
Hemet, CA
age: 57
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I thought the same thing HIll after reading the book of Job...LOL
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| 12/30/2006 3:31:34 AM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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sinfulcharming
Fort Wayne, IN
age: 40
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Hill that was an absolute riot.
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| 4/11/2007 6:21:32 PM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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mommat
Kellogg, IA
age: 58
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I do belong to a country church and when I miss a worship service I do get a phone call within an hour of the end of the service.
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| 4/11/2007 6:50:32 PM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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queenofhearts61
Seymour, IN
age: 61
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Hill ya forgot when someones house or barn burns down everyone shows up to help rebuild.
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| 4/12/2007 1:06:49 AM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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ol_hillbilly
Lowry City, MO
age: 47
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ummm nope, but they will help ya move in anuther trailer. lol
Trust me on this.
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| 4/12/2007 12:04:21 PM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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windroper
Oklahoma City, OK
age: 47
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You forgot:
If one or more members tithes in milk gloves fulla mountain oysters.
(True story from a Pentecostal preacher in O'Keene, OK)
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| 4/12/2007 12:21:06 PM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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stillfrisky
Joure
Netherlands
age: 62
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it is summertime and most of the congregation shows up in t-shirts and shorts
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| 4/18/2007 12:15:49 PM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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dale53
Fairhope, AL
age: 53
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your name is ole hillbillie
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| 4/18/2007 2:14:13 PM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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hamandbeans
Reading, MI
age: 42
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I went and still go when ever I can to a small church out here in the sticks. What you said was funny but also true. I have put many bags of veggies and eggs in cars.
God bless
Duane
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| 4/21/2007 1:09:22 PM |
You Might Be In a Country Church if |
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viklet
Arlington, TX
age: 51
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There is a cowboy church here in DFW. They baptize ya in a horse troth, have a coral out back and end every service by singing Happy Trails to You....
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