| 7/29/2008 7:37:28 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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jane_133
Frederick, MD
age: 48
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We all sort of figure if we get married/have kids, they are going to grow up and find a life of their own. What about those people who had kids, they aged, but they aren't? How do you all see people who fit in that category? Parents of adult children who aren't leaving home for one reason or another? When and where do you determine if to get involved with someone like that, or when do you expect to find out that person has their "adult" son or daughter living with them? Is there some reason in which that parent is or isn't a good enough parent or acceptable person to be interested then?
Tell me about single parents who are still parents of adults and having to deal with it....
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| 7/29/2008 7:40:18 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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coppermare
Grady, AL
age: 48
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I'll wait to see some answers before responding on this one
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| 7/29/2008 7:46:12 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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jane_133
Frederick, MD
age: 48
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That was interesting!
I know people are pretty verbal about what they think about adult children who live off their parents when there is no apparent reason for it except it appears they are "lazy" but rarely do I hear someone whose been around that person or family long enough to know if there is more going on or not say such. Is that then really different in your minds than the adult living at home who was a "special child" in the first place and now is a "special adult"?
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| 7/29/2008 7:49:16 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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crimsoncruiser
Huntsville, AL
age: 55 online now!
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Worked out for Grandma and Grandpa Walton, but they had a whole mountain to grab some space when the walls started closing in.
But seriously....
I don't see a problem if generations live together, as long as EVERYBODY pulls their weight.
I've lived with my parents a couple of times since I "grew up", but I always paid my share and then some. They had a "guest cottage" in back of their house that I've rented a time or two. Guest cottage=a 12 by 16 foot building my Dad built out of materials he salvaged while working for a mobile home dealer.
I've had other relatives occupy the space for years on end. They never paid a penny. They never helped with groceries or utilities. They slept till noon because they stayed up late burning up whatever money they had on whatever drug was available.
Mainly, that would be my youngest brother....finally, when he just couldn't take anymore of my parents abuse, he bought his own home.....and his fat assed useless daughter moved right into the "guest cottage" and continued to mistreat my mom and dad...lay on her fat useless ass (sorry...I hope none of you BBWs think there's anyway I could be talking about one of you) and considere herself a Big Beautiful Woman....two out of three is pretty bad sometimes...she's definitely big...and she's a woman....and if there's a god in heaven she'll never reproduce..my 80 yr old mom is too busy taking care of her younger sister's
offspring already to dedicate much time to another generation of freakin' LOSERS.....
Uh...sorry...did I get sidetracked?
[Edited 7/29/2008 8:15:41 AM]
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| 7/29/2008 7:54:50 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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sumbeach777
Red Springs, NC
age: 45
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We all sort of figure if we get married/have kids, they are going to grow up and find a life of their own. What about those people who had kids, they aged, but they aren't? How do you all see people who fit in that category? Parents of adult children who aren't leaving home for one reason or another? When and where do you determine if to get involved with someone like that, or when do you expect to find out that person has their "adult" son or daughter living with them? Is there some reason in which that parent is or isn't a good enough parent or acceptable person to be interested then?
Tell me about single parents who are still parents of adults and having to deal with it....
Hey Jane my gal ! well Ive got a daughter that is still with me, she and her daughter. I love having them here. And will miss them alot when they do move out, She will when she is able, Im here for my kids, but when they all leave , having 2 younger ones still home, Well Some times Ive known people to move back home to care for a parent to keep them from loosing their homes, and not put them in a Nursing home, they are death waiting to happen.
So Well Im kind of undecided here, could be weird but then again it could be needed....
Hope you understand what Im saying.......Hugs Beach
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| 7/29/2008 7:56:11 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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coppermare
Grady, AL
age: 48
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That was interesting!
I know people are pretty verbal about what they think about adult children who live off their parents when there is no apparent reason for it except it appears they are "lazy" but rarely do I hear someone whose been around that person or family long enough to know if there is more going on or not say such. Is that then really different in your minds than the adult living at home who was a "special child" in the first place and now is a "special adult"?
Your talking about a lot of different situations here. A "special needs" child that is an adult.
An adult child that is "living off" their parents.
An adult child that lives with and shares with their parents the bills.
edited to say..and as beach says an adult child that has moved home to take care of parents.
A lot of different situations. Each has their own answers I guess
[Edited 7/29/2008 7:57:33 AM]
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| 7/29/2008 8:02:01 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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just_me1986
Lake Elsinore, CA
age: 21
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Hello, I just thought i would give a reply from the "childs" point of view. I still live at home with my dad. It's not out of lazyness, or because I don't work. It just makes more sense for me to stay at home for the time being. Plus my dad and I are very close. It's just him & I here. And yes, I help pay some of the bills. Keep the house clean (I try, lol.), and cook dinner sometimes.
He's single, and if he ever met someone and wanted to start a realtionship with her I would have no problem moving out. Until then though, or until i decide I want to move out it just makes sense for me to stay.
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| 7/29/2008 8:10:31 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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beanz991
Houston, TX
age: 41
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No I wouldn't and I don't think its healthy for people to live at 'home' past say the age of 21-22.
I got out at 16 (my dad kicked me out) and it was one of the best things that ever happened too me....taught me responsibility and all that good stuff.....I think people that live at home past a certain age get to the point that they then have 'money problems' later on as when they do eventually move out they are 20-30 years old and have no idea how much things cost, how to budget etc....
Basically I think its a bad parent that lets this happen.
I used to work with a 32 year old guy who still lived with his parents, he came up to me one day and said:
'Hey I'm thinking about getting an apartment what kind of money will that take'
So I said
'$700-800 for the apartment, $100 or so for electric, $40 utilities, then your groceries, phone, etc etc.'
He says 'damn!!! I only pay my parents $200 a month, screw that I'll stay at home'
32 and had no idea how much things cost......sad.
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| 7/29/2008 8:18:15 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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just_me1986
Lake Elsinore, CA
age: 21
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No I wouldn't and I don't think its healthy for people to live at 'home' past say the age of 21-22.
I got out at 16 (my dad kicked me out) and it was one of the best things that ever happened too me....taught me responsibility and all that good stuff.....I think people that live at home past a certain age get to the point that they then have 'money problems' later on as when they do eventually move out they are 20-30 years old and have no idea how much things cost, how to budget etc....
Basically I think its a bad parent that lets this happen.
I used to work with a 32 year old guy who still lived with his parents, he came up to me one day and said:
'Hey I'm thinking about getting an apartment what kind of money will that take'
So I said
'$700-800 for the apartment, $100 or so for electric, $40 utilities, then your groceries, phone, etc etc.'
He says 'damn!!! I only pay my parents $200 a month, screw that I'll stay at home'
32 and had no idea how much things cost......sad.
I do know how much things cost, esp. in southen california. I'm the one that usualy writes the checks and mails them off to pay the bills. My dad will usually give a little bit of money to cover most of it. But I cover some of it as well. I also pay for our cell phones (his, mine and my little sisters) and the internet/home phone by myself. I think it depends on how involved the parent has the child with paying the bills, and if the parent lets their kid see the bills.
I'm not saying all situations are like that, I have some friends who don't help pay for anything or pay rent. I also have friends who have moved out and are living on their own.
I forgot to say that we also take turns grocery shopping.
[Edited 7/29/2008 8:19:28 AM]
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| 7/29/2008 8:23:03 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 42
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I have two teenaged boys... one son has some learning issues... neurological stuff.... but he is fully functioning and capable... just a little "different".
That being said, I worry about him constantly... and as he gets older- just turned 14- I worry about his future and what his life will be like.
I would like nothing more than to see him out on his own- independent and enjoying that freedom. Even if I had to help out with the rent, or something, I would not be averse to that. But I do think my kids need their own space- and I do too. Adult kids living at home in the same home- not like a mother/daughter or even 2 family home- but in the same home.... that would be awkward. When you're an adult, you've got your own lifestyle choices to live with... and you need your privacy.
I think it would be very awkward. I'd still go out with someone whose kids were living at home, but I don't think I'd keep my mouth shut about it forever. 
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| 7/29/2008 8:28:08 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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jane_133
Frederick, MD
age: 48
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I'm not thinking of those people whose adult children share expenses with them or may have had a change of living situation (generally that's a temporary thing)that have them multilayering a household.
I'm trying to get more of a feel of who would or wouldn't date people who have an adult child living with them who probably can't be independent of them without ending up in a state run institution or social care situation that may be notably less than their home situation would be otherwise.
Let me try this another way then, would you date or want to date someone with a "special needs" child/adult in their household long term/indefinitely or a dependent parent who may have special needs?
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| 7/29/2008 8:33:06 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 42
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I'm not thinking of those people whose adult children share expenses with them or may have had a change of living situation (generally that's a temporary thing)that have them multilayering a household.
I'm trying to get more of a feel of who would or wouldn't date people who have an adult child living with them who probably can't be independent of them without ending up in a state run institution or social care situation that may be notably less than their home situation would be otherwise.
Let me try this another way then, would you date or want to date someone with a "special needs" child/adult in their household long term/indefinitely or a dependent parent who may have special needs?
Yes, I would date someone in that situation. You have to be a special person to take on that kind of care, IMO, so that just is part of who they are.
It would be difficult, but not impossible.
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| 7/29/2008 9:11:51 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!
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In this day and age where the economy is bad and jobs are scarce or not paying a livable wage, some fledglings may end up in the nest a little longer than anticipated. Or they might have made a bad decision and have no other recourse but to move in with the 'rents for the time being until they get back on their feet. I needed that help from my parents when I exited military service. I can see my son, who is serving in the AirForce, might need to stay with me for awhile when he leaves the service.
That's what I'm here for and my house is always open to them but I won't enable my kids to take advantage of my hospitality and they will pay rent and adhere to my house rules. They must pull their weight or show that they are putting 100% in that effort to be able to exist on their own.
Now if a gal I'm involved with can't see any value in that then she may need to work on a few selfish issues she may harbor.
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| 7/29/2008 10:03:59 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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carlos5186
Minneapolis, MN
age: 22
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i dont no if i fall in love and want the best of her yea
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| 7/29/2008 10:06:20 AM |
Would you date someone whose kids might not leave after growing up? |
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carlos5186
Minneapolis, MN
age: 22
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tell me what r the most inporten things in youer life
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