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11/16/2014 7:53:49 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


autistic! wow I thought I was more open minded but turns out it is a deal breaker. he did not tell me beforehand and I blocked him so he wont see this. gosh I feel like I am a bad person




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11/16/2014 7:54:52 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

yatame1
Over 1,000 Posts (1,516)
Buffalo, NY
19, joined Jun. 2014


How did autism affect his behavior ???



[Edited 11/16/2014 7:55:38 PM ]

11/16/2014 7:55:36 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
acdmv
Over 1,000 Posts (1,494)
Scarsdale, NY
46, joined Aug. 2014


We have some posters that type like they may be autistic. Hit them up.

11/16/2014 7:55:50 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

mustangwriter
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (17,325)
Boerne, TX
54, joined Nov. 2009


I like artistic people.

11/16/2014 7:56:16 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
flirty_n_fun67
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,299)
Belleville, ON
47, joined Sep. 2010


So..what do you want a pat on the back?...Someone to tell you that's ok...you still coulda treated him like a damn human being even though you werent interested...and high functioning autistic people are also very highly intelligent...which is much more than i can say for you...sine you had to race back here and make a thread about it...

11/16/2014 7:58:15 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

diana29615
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,260)
Greenville, SC
45, joined Jan. 2014
online now!


Was he a highly functioning autistic? Were there no signs prior to the date?
Sounds interesting. Do tell............

11/16/2014 7:58:40 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

skywatcher58
Over 1,000 Posts (1,866)
Topeka, KS
56, joined Feb. 2014


@op how do you know he's autistic

11/16/2014 7:58:45 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

soulflight
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,496)
Dayton, OH
52, joined Apr. 2014


How do you know she didn't treat him like a human being.

seems to me(on the info we have) he got the same treatment any guy would get if he was not upfront about something that important....it's called natural consequences and he needs to learn what being a grown up means.



[Edited 11/16/2014 7:59:19 PM ]

11/16/2014 7:58:53 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

cajunmister
Over 2,000 Posts (3,726)
Kinder, LA
64, joined May. 2007


He sounds better than most of the forum posters

11/16/2014 7:59:28 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

dssg
Cleveland, OH
52, joined Aug. 2014


Quote from skywatcher58:
@op how do you know he's autistic


It was BumbleBee!

11/16/2014 7:59:33 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

txrose64
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (21,429)
Pearland, TX
50, joined Jan. 2013


My nephew has Asberger's so you'll get no sympathy or outrage from me.


while grated that is something he probably should've been up front about...

you don't have to feel like a bad person just because you have a preference and that's not it..now how you treat another individual, with dignity and respect..well that I just don't know how it went down.

but at least you didn't put his screen name up here..

11/16/2014 8:00:32 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
teeheehee_
Over 2,000 Posts (2,584)
Montreal, QC
33, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from cajunmister:
He sounds better than most of the forum posters


Ouch.

11/16/2014 8:00:33 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
cali8zice
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,963)
Albany, NY
49, joined Oct. 2012


Quote from mustangwriter:
I like artistic people.




11/16/2014 8:01:06 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from yatame1:
How did autism affect his behavior ???


well there was some facial twitching and he talked incessantly and with a heavy lisp.

11/16/2014 8:02:55 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


of course I was polite I'm not a wildebeest I stayed and talked.

11/16/2014 8:03:33 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
flirty_n_fun67
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,299)
Belleville, ON
47, joined Sep. 2010


Quote from soulflight:
How do you know she didn't treat him like a human being.

seems to me(on the info we have) he got the same treatment any guy would get if he was not upfront about something that important....it's called natural consequences and he needs to learn what being a grown up means.



I'm talking about having some compassion...blocking him so she could do this thread...very compassionate...grown up and mature...maybe just maybe he wanted to tell her in person...some people dont dole out their life stories here on the net...so i wouldnt call that hiding anything as much as i would call it probably wanting to discuss it in person...and doing a thread about the fact that someone has a disability at all..which is his business...i also wouldnt call that treating him like a human being...

11/16/2014 8:04:24 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

sea_
Kent, WA
62, joined Oct. 2013


Maybe he was looking for a female friend to do things with, People are so shallow to not accept people with handicaps, embarrassed to be seen with them, now if he was a complete slob of a pig that would be a totally different story.

11/16/2014 8:05:05 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
teeheehee_
Over 2,000 Posts (2,584)
Montreal, QC
33, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from plokky:
well there was some facial twitching and he talked incessantly and with a heavy lisp.


Are you sure it wasnt nerves? My accent is thick as molasses when i'm nervous.

11/16/2014 8:05:32 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
acdmv
Over 1,000 Posts (1,494)
Scarsdale, NY
46, joined Aug. 2014




11/16/2014 8:06:11 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

dssg
Cleveland, OH
52, joined Aug. 2014


Quote from txrose64:
My nephew has Asberger's so you'll get no sympathy or outrage from me.


while grated that is something he probably should've been up front about...

you don't have to feel like a bad person just because you have a preference and that's not it..now how you treat another individual, with dignity and respect..well that I just don't know how it went down.

but at least you didn't put his screen name up here..


I bet your nephew makes more sense than you do. Well you can't help it being from TX.

11/16/2014 8:07:16 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
teeheehee_
Over 2,000 Posts (2,584)
Montreal, QC
33, joined Jun. 2014


Are you laughing at me?

11/16/2014 8:07:16 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

Karmakicked
Rocky Mount, VA
37, joined Oct. 2014
online now!


No your not. My daughter is high functioning going out in public can be a challenge. He should have told you before hand, especially if he has issue things.

11/16/2014 8:07:58 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

dssg
Cleveland, OH
52, joined Aug. 2014


Quote from flirty_n_fun67:
I'm talking about having some compassion...blocking him so she could do this thread...very compassionate...grown up and mature...maybe just maybe he wanted to tell her in person...some people dont dole out their life stories here on the net...so i wouldnt call that hiding anything as much as i would call it probably wanting to discuss it in person...and doing a thread about the fact that someone has a disability at all..which is his business...i also wouldnt call that treating him like a human being...


God you do mumble on incoherently about everything you have no understanding of. I guess you can't help it being so lonely and undesirable to men!

11/16/2014 8:09:42 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
acdmv
Over 1,000 Posts (1,494)
Scarsdale, NY
46, joined Aug. 2014


Quote from teeheehee_: Are you laughing at me?





11/16/2014 8:11:09 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


is this not the appropriate forum in which to discuss this?

11/16/2014 8:12:57 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
flirty_n_fun67
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,299)
Belleville, ON
47, joined Sep. 2010


Quote from dssg:
God you do mumble on incoherently about everything you have no understanding of. I guess you can't help it being so lonely and undesirable to men!



Yeahhh just cause you dont understand intelligent and it looks like incoherant thought to you...don't blame me...you can look up the word compassion if ya want...cause i see you dont have any...so you wouldnt get what it means....


And ohhhhhh and wouldnt bother with the insults...they have no effect on me...so you're just wasting your troll time...

11/16/2014 8:14:17 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

soulflight
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,496)
Dayton, OH
52, joined Apr. 2014


Lol @ flirty..ok it was kind of a mouthful but I get what you're saying.

here's what I'm saying. this is how it works on the net, like it or not. if someone who is differently abled is going to use this as a resource, they should be prepared for the realities.

helping someone who is differently abled does not mean treating them differently..it means supporting them in a way that provides access to the same things as any other person.

that includes the good and the bad. sounds like he is. high functioning so why limit his growth and maturity by coddling him.

this is dating.

11/16/2014 8:15:07 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
dan9787_3
Over 1,000 Posts (1,138)
Laval, QC
51, joined Jul. 2014


Well, if you have difficulty dealing with it..don't beat yourself too hard over it...

11/16/2014 8:18:25 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from dan9787_3:
Well, if you have difficulty dealing with it..don't beat yourself too hard over it...


thanks.

11/16/2014 8:18:47 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

naturebiy
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,666)
Mc Kenzie, TN
39, joined Jul. 2011


I am curious now..

So what was the initial attraction in which you found that allowed this date to even happen?

11/16/2014 8:19:46 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


I hope he finds a nice girl online...he seemed a lot nicer than some of the guys I've talked to on here....

11/16/2014 8:20:08 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

soulflight
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,496)
Dayton, OH
52, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from dan9787_3:
Well, if you have difficulty dealing with it..don't beat yourself too hard over it...



are you really always this nice?

11/16/2014 8:21:41 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
flirty_n_fun67
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,299)
Belleville, ON
47, joined Sep. 2010


Quote from soulflight:
Lol @ flirty..ok it was kind of a mouthful but I get what you're saying.

here's what I'm saying. this is how it works on the net, like it or not. if someone who is differently abled is going to use this as a resource, they should be prepared for the realities.

helping someone who is differently abled does not mean treating them differently..it means supporting them in a way that provides access to the same things as any other person.

that includes the good and the bad. sounds like he is. high functioning so why limit his growth and maturity by coddling him.

this is dating.



Well i would say that about anything that was personal and posted as a thread...what gets me is the f**kin mentality that absolutely nothing is personal and it's all game for discussion and ridicule...if the man wanted his shit discussed...im quite sure he would have done a thread himself...im not saying coddle anybody..i am saying grow the f**k up to the op who isnt differently abled and should know better...and this thread is merely to appease her own guilt...nothing more...i could care less that she isnt interested in him...none of us are interested in everybody we meet...its this damn 5 yr old tattle tale mentality and need for a pat on the back i find childish...

11/16/2014 8:22:05 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from naturebiy:
I am curious now..

So what was the initial attraction in which you found that allowed this date to even happen?


he is pretty cute in his pic. seemed nice when messaging. boy, i haven't had ANY luck on this site.

11/16/2014 8:24:43 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

soulflight
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,496)
Dayton, OH
52, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from flirty_n_fun67:
Well i would say that about anything that was personal and posted as a thread...what gets me is the f**kin mentality that absolutely nothing is personal and it's all game for discussion and ridicule...if the man wanted his shit discussed...im quite sure he would have done a thread himself...im not saying coddle anybody..i am saying grow the f**k up to the op who isnt differently abled and should know better...and this thread is merely to appease her own guilt...nothing more...i could care less that she isnt interested in him...none of us are interested in everybody we meet...its this damn 5 yr old tattle tale mentality and need for a pat on the back i find childish...


I agree...but...it is typical and in this case I feel could be eye opening in some ways. some people really don't have anywhere else to turn or just don't have the same filters. I guess I'm giving her a pass because I have a connection to the topic. *shrug*

11/16/2014 8:26:29 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from flirty_n_fun67:
Well i would say that about anything that was personal and posted as a thread...what gets me is the f**kin mentality that absolutely nothing is personal and it's all game for discussion and ridicule...if the man wanted his shit discussed...im quite sure he would have done a thread himself...im not saying coddle anybody..i am saying grow the f**k up to the op who isnt differently abled and should know better...and this thread is merely to appease her own guilt...nothing more...i could care less that she isnt interested in him...none of us are interested in everybody we meet...its this damn 5 yr old tattle tale mentality and need for a pat on the back i find childish...


did u never see oprah? and I'm not naming any names.... but; WHATEVER!

11/16/2014 8:28:38 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
flirty_n_fun67
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,299)
Belleville, ON
47, joined Sep. 2010


Welllll i wonder how the op would feel if he came and posted a thread about something personal she told him and the fact he wasnt interested in her because of that?...The shpes probably not so nice on the other foot i bet...


Omg you're 41...really?


So op...how would you feel if he came and made a thread saying how ugly you were so he wasnt interested?






[Edited 11/16/2014 8:29:52 PM ]

11/16/2014 8:29:54 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
dan9787_3
Over 1,000 Posts (1,138)
Laval, QC
51, joined Jul. 2014


It's better not to put the guy through heartache if you know you couldn't go through with it (a relationship).

If you're still not satisfied with yourself, it's something you can deal with on your own.

11/16/2014 8:32:26 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


we are trolls we are trolls, big black holes instead of souls, preying on the weak and dumb, just for fun just for fun......(from internet trolls, the musical)


11/16/2014 8:32:59 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from plokky:
[/quote--flirty-n-fun

11/16/2014 8:34:04 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

soulflight
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,496)
Dayton, OH
52, joined Apr. 2014


You are right! but it happens every day on DH...why is it more upsetting because it is a disability vs. say...lied about ones age or is ugly as stated?

I'm not questioning your compassion flirty, you know I respect your inteligence and wit. just consider if you might be treating the situation so strongly out of pity and if so, do you think pity is necessarily kind or desired?

just another perspective to consider.



[Edited 11/16/2014 8:34:51 PM ]

11/16/2014 8:34:05 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
flirty_n_fun67
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,299)
Belleville, ON
47, joined Sep. 2010


Yeahhh of course a person is a troll when they call you out on your childish bullshit...

11/16/2014 8:34:34 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
dan9787_3
Over 1,000 Posts (1,138)
Laval, QC
51, joined Jul. 2014


Quote from soulflight:
are you really always this nice?


Thanks! It struck me as a thread about something that bothered her ("gosh I feel like I am a bad person"), so I answered that.

11/16/2014 8:36:20 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

soulflight
Over 4,000 Posts! (4,496)
Dayton, OH
52, joined Apr. 2014


I agree, I think it really did bother her. if I've been taken in by a troll...so be it.

11/16/2014 8:37:10 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

dark_gable0585
Over 2,000 Posts (3,207)
West Sacramento, CA
29, joined Feb. 2014


So let me get this straight.....you stop talking to a man who has autisum and he didn't tell you about it.....you do realized that's a personal thing to talk about...not everybody is open minded.

Just saying

11/16/2014 8:44:09 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
flirty_n_fun67
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,299)
Belleville, ON
47, joined Sep. 2010


Exactly...it was the personal nature that's it and that's all i was objecting to not the fact the man has a disability...therefore it has nothing to do with pity...and everything to do with adult boundaries...the more personal...the more it irks me...and i dont see age as being quite that personal...

11/16/2014 8:44:31 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from soulflight:
I agree, I think it really did bother her. if I've been taken in by a troll...so be it.



I'm not a troll. I was calling miss holierthanthou (flirty) a troll for shaming me for my thread

11/16/2014 8:45:59 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from dark_gable0585:
So let me get this straight.....you stop talking to a man who has autisum and he didn't tell you about it.....you do realized that's a personal thing to talk about...not everybody is open minded.

Just saying



I don't know what to say to him. I am afraid he likes me. and I don't want to hurt his feelings. so I disappeared myself.

11/16/2014 8:48:05 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

dark_gable0585
Over 2,000 Posts (3,207)
West Sacramento, CA
29, joined Feb. 2014


Quote from plokky:
I don't know what to say to him. I am afraid he likes me. and I don't want to hurt his feelings. so I disappeared myself.
well you shouldn't have agree to meet him anyways......to be honest....that's kinda shallow thinking
Again just saying

11/16/2014 8:48:06 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
flirty_n_fun67
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,299)
Belleville, ON
47, joined Sep. 2010


Hey...im not holier than thou..im just saying..some things are personal and to take that into consideration...if the same thing happened to you would you like it?...it's called having boundaries...and i cant shame anyone...unless the shame already exists in you already for some reason...

11/16/2014 8:51:49 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

fishnthec
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,901)
Mesquite, TX
63, joined Oct. 2010
online now!


You can't blame a guy or a gal for trying. Give the guy a little credit for trying to set his handicap aside and keep trying to live as normal a life as possible. I mean, that does take a little courage.

However, it is a cold, cruel, and unfair world. So, by now, he has discovered this. I am quite sure he did not have high expectations, but just a slim chance anyway.

The truth is there are singles websites for single people with just about every handicap, physical, or mental condition known to science.

Perhaps the only people who will accept him the way he is and be able to understand him, or appreciate him for who he is, is someone with the same condition he has.

But, I believe he was not trying to mislead you, but rather give you a chance to meet him in person first and let you judge him from standing on his own merit.

Good luck to him and all the people who are like him in any way!

11/16/2014 8:52:53 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

ronleeseberg
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (10,036)
Mauston, WI
48, joined Jan. 2012


You should have gone to a casino, you could be a millionaire by now. Haven't you seen Rainman?

11/16/2014 8:53:44 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

debyduh
Hamburg, PA
51, joined May. 2014


Those are not signs of Autism.

I have a son with Asperger's. I don't know if I could date someone who has it. It is a lot of mental work learning to deal with it. You have to separate the behaviors from the person. I know first hand what my poor son goes through trying to date. He tries so hard to do everything perfect. He is always a gentleman. He goes above and beyond. I think my only wish for this world is that he will someday find someone special enough to understand him and love him.

I would not hate you for not wanting to date that man. He obviously is better online then in person. It is easier for them to communicate through media. Reality is another game.

11/16/2014 8:56:04 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

jer3552
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,289)
Vale, OR
60, joined Oct. 2013


op tsk tsk shame shame ...wildebeest or gnu ....still shallow

11/16/2014 8:58:16 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


well, I just didn't find him desirable...maybe it would be worth it to switch to a dating site I have to pay for.....might have more luck.

11/16/2014 9:00:41 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
plokky
Asheville, NC
41, joined Apr. 2014


Quote from ronleeseberg:
You should have gone to a casino, you could be a millionaire by now. Haven't you seen Rainman?






I want to date this guy.

11/16/2014 9:00:51 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

jer3552
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,289)
Vale, OR
60, joined Oct. 2013


Quote from plokky:
well, I just didn't find him desirable...maybe it would be worth it to switch to a dating site I have to pay for.....might have more luck.
don't block the fellow unless he was a jerk....u my dear r being the jerk by blocking him and talking about him here in hopes u will get moral support from us......u were a jerk my dear, think about it and learn from it and do better next time

11/16/2014 9:01:43 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  
flirty_n_fun67
Over 10,000 Posts!!! (14,299)
Belleville, ON
47, joined Sep. 2010


I apologize to you op for being so harsh...it's a trigger for me...after having my boundaries continually breached by people who felt they had a right to...but this is not about me...and i wish you good luck in your search...

11/16/2014 9:02:25 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

moleculex
Las Vegas, NV
44, joined Apr. 2014


You didnt notice the lisp on the phone. Or you blind voice dated him.Internet slane (bvd'd)him.

11/16/2014 9:16:44 PM I went on a dh date last nite...and the guy was  

stregaleonora
Over 1,000 Posts (1,274)
Atlanta, GA
39, joined Jun. 2014


Quote from dark_gable0585:
well you shouldn't have agree to meet him anyways......to be honest....that's kinda shallow thinking
Again just saying


And how she could, if she didn't know?

The guy has not being upfront, I am not saying I don't understand his reasons, but this is something he should expect....

...when you keep big surprises for the first date, yep! The other person running away, it is sonething that can happen and you should know it..