I've been a member at another site for going on 4 years that is a paid dating site. I go there for chatting. Met a guy and became friends a few years ago. He said he was coming to my town 5x and never followed through every time. We went a while not really keeping in touch since we live on opposites sides of the country and I won't do a LDR and we dated other people and just stayed friends.

Fast forward to now, he has been recently telling me he wants to visit me. While in the chatroom yesterday he was talking about his trip coming up soon (he said next month he's coming) and another person in the chatroom said to him "oh are you going to ------- to see so and so" and it was another country, not even the US, lol. He didn't reply to that person openly in the room. I figure he is debating to either come see me or another woman I know he knows in another country and he feels the need to hide it from me.

I don't get men? If he's wanting to see someone else then why not just tell me? He knows I won't do a LDR anyway and we have been friends for almost 3 years. Unless he thinks maybe I will try to push him to go see the other woman in hopes they will date then I think he is just a liar. And there's no reason to lie to someone you are just friends with.

And men wonder why women won't let down walls and trust them. This is just a friendship and the guy is lying to me.

Who needs to swear to put his point across?

Friends isn't the OP's goal. Her goal is a relationship but is making friends whilst she is there.

The question is why is it so important to the OP what her friend does after all these years. When she admits she won't do LDR.

Ps what's with all the testosterone when talking to women?

Yeah well maybe on an online dating site. If I am seeing you that way. I'm betting other ladies are too.

Maybe you'd like to keep that kinda talk for the fellas? After all I'm not a dude and it's enough to put a woman off talking to you.

But it's up to you if you wish to listen or not. I can't make you. But never ask why women shy away..

It's got nothing to do with a** kissing it's called being considerate.

You may not value my opinion but you're getting it anyway

Oh looksie I don't have to swear or be aggressive to do that.

first thing is you're not really friends, you're online acquaintances , until you actually meet you are not really friends

Who he visits isn't of any of your business, the fact that he has never visited you in the "3" years you've known/corresponded with the guy should tell you something.

I get it if you skyped or any other video correspondence but it doesn't sound like unless you've failed to mention it but back to the point.

Until you actually meet, you are not really friends, what stopped you from visiting him if you were friends?

Not that I have to answer to you but I have 3 children and a job and family here where I am. He has no children and never been married and can travel easier than I can.

And we have skyped a lot over the time we've known one another and talked on the phone, texted, chatted in the chatroom.

And I never said I cared who he sees. I said I don't understand why he feels the need to lie about it if we ARE only friends. Men. You only hear what you want to hear.