Am I being selfish???

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8/18/2008 9:39:07 PM	Am I being selfish???
xtreme527737 Westland, MI age: 20	Interesting question, but first, let me explain. I'm 20 years old. In November I am going to be moving across the country. Despite this fact, I would still like to be with someone and possibly start a relationship. Everyone so far that I have talked to, I have told them that I will be leaving. Obviously, they all disappear when they hear of this. Is it selfish to hope that someone would be able to accept this fact and enjoy the time that we would have together until I go? I know not many people are into a relationship with an Expiration date, But I was hoping that someone would understand my position.
8/18/2008 9:41:24 PM	Am I being selfish???
wildchild1987 Suffern, NY age: 21	When you say UNTIL you go... does this mean it will all end when you leave? If so then I can kinda see why some would think long and hard about it before saying yes..
8/18/2008 9:45:13 PM	Am I being selfish???
xtreme527737 Westland, MI age: 20	Yes, when I said until I go, that means that It would end with my leaving. I'm really not into a long distance relationship, because obviously anyone that I start something with isn't going to go with me. It would be selfish of me to hope that they would. Besides, I'm moving to try and start anew. I don't really want to bring anything from the past with me.
8/18/2008 9:46:24 PM	Am I being selfish???
tater79 Springfield, IL age: 29	Quote from xtreme527737: Interesting question, but first, let me explain. I'm 20 years old. In November I am going to be moving across the country. Despite this fact, I would still like to be with someone and possibly start a relationship. Everyone so far that I have talked to, I have told them that I will be leaving. Obviously, they all disappear when they hear of this. Is it selfish to hope that someone would be able to accept this fact and enjoy the time that we would have together until I go? I know not many people are into a relationship with an Expiration date, But I was hoping that someone would understand my position. I really appreciate your honesty with them, but I personally think that you should wait until you get to where your going before trying to date anyone, because even if you find someone that says they are willing to just go out with you until you leave, while you spend time with them they may fall for you and then their heart will be broken when you leave.....JMO NOV. isn't really that long away I would just wait.. [Edited 8/18/2008 9:47:31 PM]
8/18/2008 9:48:59 PM	Am I being selfish???
lillibet New South Wales Australia age: 51	To a degree thats selfish but then it depends on what you are hoping to have with a girl for that short time...Are you looking for a relationship or just a casual fling???Its hard to ask someone to just be your girl to fill in time until you leave...Or do you just want someone to hang out with???It depends on many things say what happens if you meet a girl and you both fall heavily for each other???Not going to be easy then is it? Would it not be better to just wait until you have moved then look for someone???
8/18/2008 9:51:30 PM	Am I being selfish???
wildchild1987 Suffern, NY age: 21	Quote from xtreme527737: Yes, when I said until I go, that means that It would end with my leaving. I'm really not into a long distance relationship, because obviously anyone that I start something with isn't going to go with me. It would be selfish of me to hope that they would. Besides, I'm moving to try and start anew. I don't really want to bring anything from the past with me. Never say never cause there just may be someone that will fall hard for you and want to go with you..and no I would not say your selfish to want someone to leave with you..I would change your thinking of that..just a little thought..
8/18/2008 9:52:16 PM	Am I being selfish???
xtreme527737 Westland, MI age: 20	To an extent, I feel selfish for asking anyone to accept those terms, But knowing how I treat the person I'm with, I feel that it more than makes up for it. I'm not looking for anything that would be categorized as 'serious' or 'exclusive' I could hardly expect someone to be loyal to me knowing that its going to end at a certain date. Perhaps it would depend on the maturity level of the girl in question. Most girls my age wouldn't have this level of maturity.
8/18/2008 9:53:48 PM	Am I being selfish???
wildchild1987 Suffern, NY age: 21	Quote from xtreme527737: To an extent, I feel selfish for asking anyone to accept those terms, But knowing how I treat the person I'm with, I feel that it more than makes up for it. I'm not looking for anything that would be categorized as 'serious' or 'exclusive' I could hardly expect someone to be loyal to me knowing that its going to end at a certain date. Perhaps it would depend on the maturity level of the girl in question. Most girls my age wouldn't have this level of maturity. And if they are loyal to you.. would you really leave them behind...?
8/18/2008 9:56:47 PM	Am I being selfish???
tater79 Springfield, IL age: 29	Quote from xtreme527737: To an extent, I feel selfish for asking anyone to accept those terms, But knowing how I treat the person I'm with, I feel that it more than makes up for it. I'm not looking for anything that would be categorized as 'serious' or 'exclusive' I could hardly expect someone to be loyal to me knowing that its going to end at a certain date. Perhaps it would depend on the maturity level of the girl in question. Most girls my age wouldn't have this level of maturity. I think you are a VERY GOOD DUDE to think and care the way you do, but I would still say wait, it is what 3 months come on man......
8/18/2008 9:57:39 PM	Am I being selfish???
xtreme527737 Westland, MI age: 20	I guess it all comes down to one final principle. When people start to date anyone, they always have the hope that this could be the last person they're with. This could be 'the one' Maybe I'm alone in the thought that you could be with someone because they are a good person and fun to be with, even if they might not necessarily be the one you marry. many people look at this as having someone on the 'back burner' because you are just with them until you find something better. but ultimately this is what everyone does, despite what they think. They may be with someone, but if they meet someone who they KNOW will treat them better, don't they consider it as an option, or at least explore it slightly to see if the venture is worthwhile?
8/18/2008 10:02:55 PM	Am I being selfish???
tater79 Springfield, IL age: 29	Quote from xtreme527737: I guess it all comes down to one final principle. When people start to date anyone, they always have the hope that this could be the last person they're with. This could be 'the one' Maybe I'm alone in the thought that you could be with someone because they are a good person and fun to be with, even if they might not necessarily be the one you marry. many people look at this as having someone on the 'back burner' because you are just with them until you find something better. but ultimately this is what everyone does, despite what they think. They may be with someone, but if they meet someone who they KNOW will treat them better, don't they consider it as an option, or at least explore it slightly to see if the venture is worthwhile? Those people who choose the grass is greener with this other person are people who will regret it later in life, when they end up bitter and alone.. Because you would have burnt your bridges with the (maybe not the greatest girls) to go out with the (I think she will be better girls)
8/18/2008 10:08:09 PM	Am I being selfish???
that_wd_b_me Essex Junction, VT age: 50	Quote from xtreme527737: Interesting question, but first, let me explain. I'm 20 years old. In November I am going to be moving across the country. Despite this fact, I would still like to be with someone and possibly start a relationship. Everyone so far that I have talked to, I have told them that I will be leaving. Obviously, they all disappear when they hear of this. Is it selfish to hope that someone would be able to accept this fact and enjoy the time that we would have together until I go? I know not many people are into a relationship with an Expiration date, But I was hoping that someone would understand my position. you're dreamin fellah,date before you go but don't expect a "relationship" better yet,concentrate on getting your ducks in line for the move and find your relationship when you get there.JMO
8/18/2008 10:12:40 PM	Am I being selfish???
xtreme527737 Westland, MI age: 20	Quote from tater79: Quote from xtreme527737: I guess it all comes down to one final principle. When people start to date anyone, they always have the hope that this could be the last person they're with. This could be 'the one' Maybe I'm alone in the thought that you could be with someone because they are a good person and fun to be with, even if they might not necessarily be the one you marry. many people look at this as having someone on the 'back burner' because you are just with them until you find something better. but ultimately this is what everyone does, despite what they think. They may be with someone, but if they meet someone who they KNOW will treat them better, don't they consider it as an option, or at least explore it slightly to see if the venture is worthwhile? Those people who choose the grass is greener with this other person are people who will regret it later in life, when they end up bitter and alone.. Because you would have burnt your bridges with the (maybe not the greatest girls) to go out with the (I think she will be better girls) Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that you should date someone if you're still looking for someone better. It is setting someone up for disaster. What i'm saying is if both parties go into the relationship with the knowledge of the future. What would be selfish is if I started something with someone and didn't tell them what was coming. The whole back burner concept can't hold true. Then you aren't putting yourself into that relationship, at least not the way that it should be. Many people make this mistake, especially when they've been burned in the past. They never truly open up, because a part of them is always hidden away as a fail-safe. That way, even if they do get hurt again, a part of them is still whole.
8/18/2008 11:04:48 PM	Am I being selfish???
sharolas Elk Grove Village, IL age: 38	Quote from tater79: Quote from xtreme527737: Interesting question, but first, let me explain. I'm 20 years old. In November I am going to be moving across the country. Despite this fact, I would still like to be with someone and possibly start a relationship. Everyone so far that I have talked to, I have told them that I will be leaving. Obviously, they all disappear when they hear of this. Is it selfish to hope that someone would be able to accept this fact and enjoy the time that we would have together until I go? I know not many people are into a relationship with an Expiration date, But I was hoping that someone would understand my position. I really appreciate your honesty with them, but I personally think that you should wait until you get to where your going before trying to date anyone, because even if you find someone that says they are willing to just go out with you until you leave, while you spend time with them they may fall for you and then their heart will be broken when you leave.....JMO NOV. isn't really that long away I would just wait.. I would have to agree with this statement. It just would not be fair to the other person, because if you fall for each other, she may not be willing to relocate for many reasons. So I would just wait till you get to your destination.
8/19/2008 3:36:01 AM	Am I being selfish???
ge0ge0 Tallahassee, FL age: 42 online now!	Eh, sooner or later you'll get a nibble if you keep at it. Not everyone wants a committed relationship. Some women are really looking for a no strings attached, when it's done it's done, disposable type relationship. Rare but real.

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