Ladys help i have a problem! 31

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8/19/2008 7:36:26 PM	Ladys help i have a problem!
beachmimi Leesburg, VA age: 56	Okay, first of all if you were just getting out of a relationship, why, oh why did you put yourself on a dating site. That my dear was wrong. If you then met up with someone on My Space and you well.........you let the little "one-eyed monster" loose, you really should have waited for the blood flow to get back to the REAL brain. You are going to have to come clean with this girl and tell her yeah, you were being a ass, and then you also should perhaps let the girl that you are interested in know something about it. Let her make the decision that she wants to give you a chance after being told that you jumped in bed with a warm body after a relationship.
8/19/2008 7:47:34 PM	Ladys help i have a problem!
tarheel7676 Greensboro, NC age: 31	i still don't understand why everyone is blaming this guy...it takes two....its as much her fault as his...why does the man always have to be responsible when it comes to sex let's look at the facts, or at least his one sided view that we are basing this off of that we have to construe as facts at this time: She came on to him, he told her his situation and that he couldn't be there as far as a relationship goes, he gentlemanly asked her repeatedly if she was sure that this was ok with her, and she went forward. Now it is possible that she got out of a relationship of her own and was using him as a rebound, and inadvertantly let her heart get ahead of her mind, and that is why she is hanging around..granted a possibility.....but if all this did happen....why are all the women (except for the youngest woman who posted in here) on this thread blaming him, accusingly, as though he was wrong? A man, especially a single young man, with raging hormones, is not going to repeatedly turn down sex, i don't care who they are. It has been emblazoned into our heads since junior high..peer pressure is a b*tch....and the younger someone is, the worse it has probably been growing up in todays world
8/19/2008 8:24:33 PM	Ladys help i have a problem!
mythousandwords Clemson, SC age: 25	Quote from tater79: YOU made your bed, so You are the one who will have to sleep in it.. with the 18 year-old no less, hehe
8/19/2008 8:28:18 PM	Ladys help i have a problem!
sharolas Elk Grove Village, IL age: 38	Quote from ajlewis710: I met this young girl on myspace a couple of weeks ago( she is 18 just out of high school), it turns out she lives right down the street, we starting talking on myspace and we started having sex like the day after i met her on myspace. I told her i just got of a serious relationship, and i didnt want anything serious. I dont like her its just sex, but i met this awesome girl from work, that i really enjoy spending time with, but i cant get rid of the 18 year old girl she wont live me alone, what should i do help!how can i get rid of her without hurting her? It's your problem you need to fix it. Too bad, so sad. Keep your pants on next time. DUH!!!
8/19/2008 8:28:56 PM	Ladys help i have a problem!
jixxr1 Chattanooga, TN age: 32	I agree with tarheel this day and time women are of a more forthcomeing of there sexual needs... and granted the young mans actions may not have been the smartest he could have done. based on his comments he did confirm that it was what she wanted.... and if that makes him an a** then I would have to say that any man on the planet would be as well for the actions which is he done... but I do say this other then an act of rape sex is a two person deal and it takes both being willing parties so if your condeiming him for something that you older women and jumping on over your just as guilty whether your married or not.... so just remember he is young and dumb to the fact of sex.... as the old saying goes you must first be young and stupid in order to be old and wise.... he asked for help for give him direction and that he would not do it again not persacute him over it......
8/20/2008 1:28:50 AM	Ladys help i have a problem!
mizztia03 Sacramento, CA age: 18	FIRST OF ALL (proof...all guys are douche bags) SECONDLY you cant with out hurting her especially if emotions re alredy in play you just have to tell her the truth be honest WHAT TO SAY: tell her all of her good qualities and that shes a good friend but now your ready to be in a more serious relationship and you just honestly dnt think shes you type but tell her youd love to stay goodfriends and that your sorry it had to be this way and that you didnt tell her sooner and that you really didnt want to hurt her (its what id want to hear) CAUTION: dont have sex with her the day you tell her till after you tell her and dont do it unless she offers... or else youll never get rid of her and learn from your mistake the longer it goes on the more hurt shes going to be dnt be a punk just handle it good luck! [Edited 8/20/2008 1:29:34 AM]
8/20/2008 1:57:01 AM	Ladys help i have a problem!
juniebegood Huntington, NY age: 54	Quote from ajlewis710: well i feel bad about it and you guys are defiantly making me feel worse, she found me on my space and initiated the sex, i knew it was a mistake, but i couldn't help myself and iam trying to fix it i have never been mean to her and don't want to be You should feel bad about it. Let this be a good lesson to you. Keep it in your pants unless you really have genuine feelings for the girl.
8/20/2008 2:15:42 AM	Ladys help i have a problem!
gabisanic Pleasant Hill, CA age: 51	Quote from ajlewis710: well i feel bad about it and you guys are defiantly making me feel worse, she found me on my space and initiated the sex, i knew it was a mistake, but i couldn't help myself and iam trying to fix it i have never been mean to her and don't want to be It is a good thing you are feeling bad about this because it may (I doubt it, seriously) make you act more responsibly next time you are faced with a mistake. I am personally not buying your entire side of the story (you asking 50 times... yeah, right) but that's completely irrelevant at this point. TIPS... - If you think something you are about to do is a mistake, chances are it is a mistake and you should not do it. It doesn't matter how cute the mistake is. - The "I couldn't help myself" excuse is weak and so lame. Yes, we can all help ourselves, we just choose not to sometimes. Work on developing will power instead of rationalizing your poor judgment. It will come in handy with all those cute mistakes walking around Campus. - It is not good practice and a bigger mistake to use people. Integrity is an essential quality in any person and just looking to have sex with women you don't even like just because you are supposedly heart broken and dumping them when someone better comes along is not cool at all. It speaks very poorly of you as a man, as a person, as a human being. - Learn from this mistake... if you are not looking for a relationship at this time after having a girlfriend for 5 years, what about this new and awesome girl at work... is she also a mistake? are you going to be able to "help yourself" or are you just going to bed her (and I know you will try) until the next awesome one comes along? You have much to think about, much to learn and much growing up to do.
8/20/2008 2:30:20 AM	Ladys help i have a problem!
th6231 Point Pleasant Beach, NJ age: 61	HONESTY---you already explained it once--but slow down Mr Lucky--close one door before you open another. You might try having some kind of relationship before having sex so quickly. Find out what these young ladies are all about... or where they have been---or all the other important things. Just a bit of a clue on how it all works. So what if this new girl from work is a washout?? Then what?? Going after the neighbors mom?? better slow it down a bit. You already experienced a bad break up---so why open yourself up to more unhappy, meaningless, trysts?? Just sex??? It is never JUST SEX. Sometimes people think a man really cares about them. It is a pretty sad attitude to think that it is just sex. [Edited 8/20/2008 2:32:37 AM]
8/20/2008 3:24:02 AM	Ladys help i have a problem!
coffee102 Saint Louis, MO age: 49	AJ, While I can't condone the choices you both made to have casual sex; I think I understand the dilemna you're facing. I am also relieved that you are only 22 y.o. and that she was ( I pray) at least 18 y.o. I also admire that you don't want to just straight-out hurt her. AJ, most males and females are wired differently when it comes to sex. Females, generally, even if they say a male can have sex with them, is inwardly more emotional about the act than he might be. It sounds like from what you describe that you not only had sex with her but you fulfilled her need for attention and possibly affection that she is not finding somewhere else. (GOD knows, and I pray that she is not pregnant when I give this advice.) So, if I were a male in this situation, I would MEET with her ONE LAST TIME. I know you said you told her, but she didn't hear it the way you wanted her to. This time explain that you did not understand that having sex with her would affect her the way it did. Let her know that you are sorry, but, that it can't go any further.... That it was wrong for you both to treat sex in such a casual manner. If she cries or seems not to understand; hold firm. But first and foremost, remember that she may need time to talk with you about the situation (most females talk through their pain). If she ask you questions, please answer them openly and honestly. Stay until she understands. It may take some time out of your day; so do this SOON AND HAVE TIME TO SPARE. What I am describing to you is an attempt to let her down easy. It may hurt now (her heart may break alittle); but, I pray that she learns to think more highly of herself than to just give herself away in the future. AJ, if you want to just sow your wild oats; please, be conscience of what I told you....NO MATTER IF A FEMALE (some males) AGREES TO HAVE CASUAL SEX, THERE IS GENERALLY A DIFFERENT SET OF RULES IN PLAY. Not because we are out to trap you, give the male gender grief, or get our way; but, because we are physically, mentally and emotionally wired differently by GOD (some say nature). You'll understand this more clearly when a similar situation happens to your sister, mother, or GOD forbid, your daughter. Also, there is a such thing as Karma! What you do has consequences and can come back to haunt you. Good Luck and please think twice before your next sexual encounter. [Edited 8/20/2008 3:35:51 AM]
8/20/2008 4:06:05 AM	Ladys help i have a problem!
nanook420 Greenville, OH age: 42	(Begin Sarcasm) Dude, you're a white American male. All the world's problems are automatically your fault. As long as people have the attitude that women are ignorant, helpless, fragile little flowers, that are incapable of making their own decisions, and are immune from the theory that "People only treat you as bad as you allow them to." Since women never have sexual desires of their own, you are going to have to decide for them when they really want to have sex because they are wayyyy too stupid to make up their own minds, and you will always be a "f**ktard" or a "douchebag" if you should happen to make the wrong decision for them. (End Sarcasm) Seriously, I don't think there is any way to avoid hurting her. You probably would have hurt her if you refused to have sex with her because she might have thought there is something wrong with her if you won't even use her for a cumdumpster. Some people have serious self esteem issues and think that sex = love, instead of the other way around. I have been in a similar situation as yourself, where an ex told me she just wanted to have sex, and, in spite of the fact that I was hornier than a three peckered billy goat, it just didn't seem like the right thing to do, because I knew that she wanted more. Good luck, and I hope you don't come home to find your bunny rabbit in a pot on the stove.
8/20/2008 4:12:08 AM	Ladys help i have a problem!
sixnjim Port Monmouth, NJ age: 55	Quote from ajlewis710: I met this young girl on myspace a couple of weeks ago( she is 18 just out of high school), it turns out she lives right down the street, we starting talking on myspace and we started having sex like the day after i met her on myspace. I told her i just got of a serious relationship, and i didnt want anything serious. I dont like her its just sex, but i met this awesome girl from work, that i really enjoy spending time with, but i cant get rid of the 18 year old girl she wont live me alone, what should i do help!how can i get rid of her without hurting her? You made your bed Tarzan now you have to lay down in it this "mistake" will haunt you for the rest of your life Billy Boy...nuff said
8/20/2008 4:13:14 AM	Ladys help i have a problem!
nanook420 Greenville, OH age: 42	Quote from coffee102: AJ, While I can't condone the choices you both made to have casual sex; I think I understand the dilemna you're facing. I am also relieved that you are only 22 y.o. and that she was ( I pray) at least 18 y.o. I also admire that you don't want to just straight-out hurt her. AJ, most males and females are wired differently when it comes to sex. Females, generally, even if they say a male can have sex with them, is inwardly more emotional about the act than he might be. It sounds like from what you describe that you not only had sex with her but you fulfilled her need for attention and possibly affection that she is not finding somewhere else. (GOD knows, and I pray that she is not pregnant when I give this advice.) So, if I were a male in this situation, I would MEET with her ONE LAST TIME. I know you said you told her, but she didn't hear it the way you wanted her to. This time explain that you did not understand that having sex with her would affect her the way it did. Let her know that you are sorry, but, that it can't go any further.... That it was wrong for you both to treat sex in such a casual manner. If she cries or seems not to understand; hold firm. But first and foremost, remember that she may need time to talk with you about the situation (most females talk through their pain). If she ask you questions, please answer them openly and honestly. Stay until she understands. It may take some time out of your day; so do this SOON AND HAVE TIME TO SPARE. What I am describing to you is an attempt to let her down easy. It may hurt now (her heart may break alittle); but, I pray that she learns to think more highly of herself than to just give herself away in the future. AJ, if you want to just sow your wild oats; please, be conscience of what I told you....NO MATTER IF A FEMALE (some males) AGREES TO HAVE CASUAL SEX, THERE IS GENERALLY A DIFFERENT SET OF RULES IN PLAY. Not because we are out to trap you, give the male gender grief, or get our way; but, because we are physically, mentally and emotionally wired differently by GOD (some say nature). You'll understand this more clearly when a similar situation happens to your sister, mother, or GOD forbid, your daughter. Also, there is a such thing as Karma! What you do has consequences and can come back to haunt you. Good Luck and please think twice before your next sexual encounter. Amen, sister moon! Well put!
8/20/2008 4:32:20 AM	Ladys help i have a problem!
cece123 Warren, MI age: 48 online now!	Quote from winesong: yes YOU do, and I can see it getting worse.. one big issue here, did you use protection? How would you like to be told that the 18 year old brainless one is pregnant????????? Did you ask about her protection for birth control, for the benefit of both people? EACH of you are responsible for this serious judgment error, if you neither one used protection. HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... are you ready to be hit with this new obligation? Passion can get the better of a young man... sorry... How about moving? Yes I was young and dumb too..... Sex when I was young only got me in trouble.... I was lucky.... the guy{s} who got me in trouble stepped up to the plate and wanted to father their children... Not so today.... Now the only thing sex does for me... is cause me alot of heart ache.... People use it to play on your emotions..... I tell my son... not to get interested in any girl until the age of 25, for serious involvement.... I want him to go to college... get a good job... be a good provider for his family.. He's still young... but I've already told him about PROTECTION.... Don't leave home without your rubbers!" Because I know young people will do the nasties..... And I don't want my children to think that there is anything wrong with it... even though I call it "the nasties..." I want my son to be responsible... and hopefully find love and give me my two GRANDDAUGHTERS.... since I have two grandsons.... Two fatherless grandchildren may I add.
8/20/2008 4:47:49 AM	Ladys help i have a problem!
monty_python Bridgeport, CT age: 54	Quote from tarheel7676: Good God....the man asked for help from women and all you ladies did was b*tch at him...no wonder men cheat on you all the time, you can't stop shoving your beliefs in our mouths long enough to think about someone else...jeezus look dude, remind her of the situation, and that you are going to see other people and she can't be hanging around all the time......either she'll understand, and you'll go out with the other girl, or she'll get really mad and go cry about it, and you'll go out with the other girl......if she insists on being around, bring the other woman around and just ignore her, or just treat her like any other neighbor as you are taking this work girl inside...she will get the hint Amen, brother. The claws really came out here on this one. Typical DHU.

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