3/9/2015 5:04:09 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
lovessmart
Corona, CA
55, joined Feb. 2013
|
An article by: Lauren Martin of 'Elite Daily'
She must be alone because something’s wrong with her…
There’s a fallacy women need to “attract” men. They need the perfect skirt, tempting lipstick and a good blowout. They need to be poised and intelligent, alluring and girlish. They need to be funny and witty, but not overly obnoxious.
It’s the woman who needs to fit the mold of man’s dream girl; it’s the woman who must capture the love of a man.
Fortunately, this isn’t how it works — at least, not for all the strong women I know. By contrast, women who love themselves aren’t looking to attain a certain standard or to fit a specific mold. They aren’t dressing up their sexuality and dressing down their thoughts.
They know who they are and, unfortunately for all those men out there looking for a susceptible piece of clay to mold in their calloused hands, they already love themselves.
The problem, though, is they can’t seem to find a man they’re ready to love. A man who fits their standards and their ideas of a perfect partner.
A man who interests and allures them. A man they find worthy of their time and attention.
This is the new dilemma: The plight of the single woman. It’s no longer her problem, but his problem. No longer are women single because something is wrong with them. No longer do women feel alone because they’re undesirable or unattractive.
Women are alone because no one else is good enough.
“I’m not worried about impressing you; I’m worried about you impressing me.”
I don’t just know myself; I love myself. I’m at a point in my life where I no longer second-guess every move and every thought. I have taken the time to find out who I am and what I believe — now, if only I could find a man with the same self-awareness.
Unfortunately, I’m only finding boys with about as much character and depth as the hero of their favorite action movie.
I need a man who isn’t in the middle of an identity crisis. A man who has a sense of worth without being an arrogant assh*le.
A man who isn’t going to just mimic my actions or bail because he can’t handle a woman who has more strength of character than he does. As of now, this man does not exist.
“I’m not worried about my views; I’m worried about yours.”
I know who I am and what I’m about. You, however, I’m not so sure. I know what I stand for and what I believe. I have my ardent opinions and my unwavering views.
I’m not looking for someone with the same ones, but someone with views I can respect and learn from.
I don’t want a man who can’t hold a conversation with me. I don’t want a man who doesn’t have opinions on death, love and global warming.
I want a man who’ll challenge and ignite passion and a fire in my soul. Someone who’s dedicated and inspired.
“I’m not worried about my baggage; I’m worried about yours.”
I have my sh*t under control. I have my baggage, like everyone else, but I can carry mine. I’m strong enough to bring it around without letting it weigh me down.
I’m not pulling it 5 miles behind me, tripping over it and refusing to admit it’s sitting right there.
I need a man who doesn’t come with 20 pounds of sh*t. A man who isn’t going to be thinking about his wounds and his losses. I need a man who is present, a man who learns from the past, not just drags it along.
“I’m not worried about being alone; I’m worried about being with the wrong person.”
I can handle being alone; I like being alone. I’d rather be alone than acquiesce to the standards of the lonely and insecure. I stand on my own, proudly and without fear.
I won’t enter a relationship just for the sake of it — like those women who don’t know what they want so they settle for what they see.
I won’t settle for some man just because he’s better than no man. I need passion, fire and the assurance this relationship is almost as good as the one with myself — and it’s a hard standard to meet.
“I’m not worried about my performance, I’m worried about yours.”
I’m not worried about how I’m doing or if the night went well. I’m no longer asking my friends if I did it right or if he thinks I’m not good in bed. I’m tired of wondering if it was good for them; it’s always good for them.
What about me? What about my needs? What about making me feel the way I make you feel?
I’m looking for a man who doesn’t quit when he’s finished. I need a man who keeps going because he finds pleasure in mine — a man who doesn’t think sex is finished when he’s satisfied.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This describes me so well and most of my single/divorced/widowed girlfriends.
So, if single guys are having problems with dating available women, this might be why. Any thoughts?
Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
|
3/9/2015 5:06:34 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
b2cold
Bark River, MI
22, joined Mar. 2014
|
Very good
|
3/9/2015 5:08:03 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
stanleyzee
Dayton, OH
30, joined Dec. 2012
|
|
3/9/2015 5:09:21 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
|
In my personal experience, love comes when you're not vigorously searching for it...
Two years ago I dropped 40 lbs during the summer..
I was completely focused and love was last on my agenda. .then POW ....there it waltz right in...
Maybe she shouldn't even worry about love. ..just let it find her ..
|
3/9/2015 5:10:52 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
xray6
Fort Stewart, GA
27, joined Mar. 2012
|
We already know this
It's not anyone fault but your own if you can find love
|
3/9/2015 5:13:18 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
xray6
Fort Stewart, GA
27, joined Mar. 2012
|
SINGEL guys don't have a problem with dating women. only the guys that don't fit the general standard have problems dating women.
|
3/9/2015 5:13:31 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
viper1e
Jeannette, PA
56, joined Dec. 2013
|
An article by: Lauren Martin of 'Elite Daily'
She must be alone because something’s wrong with her…
There’s a fallacy women need to “attract” men. They need the perfect skirt, tempting lipstick and a good blowjob.
Yep!
This describes me so well and most of my single/divorced/widowed girlfriends.
So, if single guys are having problems with dating available women, this might be why. Any thoughts?
Your issues are your own to deal with.
Gloria Allred and Andrea Dworkin said we don't have to fix you anymore!
[Edited 3/9/2015 5:15:20 PM ]
|
3/9/2015 5:19:08 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
Champaree
Australian Capital
Australia
84, joined Jan. 2015
|
good article..
|
3/9/2015 5:19:35 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
xray6
Fort Stewart, GA
27, joined Mar. 2012
|
Funny how in a dating world where men do all the work mostly. Women don't understand stand why being won like a object gets you treated like one.
|
3/9/2015 5:20:44 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
1sirens
Champaign, IL
31, joined Aug. 2014
|
Makes sense to me Ray
[Edited 3/9/2015 5:21:11 PM ]
|
3/9/2015 5:21:09 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
lovessmart
Corona, CA
55, joined Feb. 2013
|
We already know this
It's not anyone fault but your own if you can find love
It's not about fault and I have found love. That's why I am not on here much anymore. It's just always had me thinking why all the complaining on some men's parts, but I think it is that women, especially more mature women just expect all the things that use to be reserved only for guys to expect, and are just not going to get in a relationship otherwise. Am I wrong?
[Edited 3/9/2015 5:21:41 PM ]
|
3/9/2015 5:23:21 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
plantkeeper
Alexandria, VA
51, joined Apr. 2011
|
She speaks (or writes) the truth....
Amen to that...
|
3/9/2015 5:23:59 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
xray6
Fort Stewart, GA
27, joined Mar. 2012
|
It's not about fault and I have found love. That's why I am not on here much anymore. It's just always had me thinking why all the complaining on some men's parts, but I think it is that women, especially more mature women just expect all the things that use to be reserved only for guys to expect, and are just not going to get in a relationship otherwise. Am I wrong?
Yes you are wrong
|
3/9/2015 5:24:13 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
dezweather
Phoenix, AZ
42, joined Oct. 2014
|
It's not about fault and I have found love. That's why I am not on here much anymore. It's just always had me thinking why all the complaining on some men's parts, but I think it is that women, especially more mature women just expect all the things that use to be reserved only for guys to expect, and are just not going to get in a relationship otherwise. Am I wrong?
No, I completely agree with you. Especially mature women, and good for you!
|
3/9/2015 5:25:26 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
beautifulfire08
Antioch, TN
56, joined Aug. 2013
|
Woo hoooooooooo ! (thunderous applause....and the audience goes wild)
Yayyyyy! They get it..oh my god they get it!!!!! Im all choked up. Im verklempt. Please ,, discuss this amongst yourselves .
|
3/9/2015 5:27:01 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
lovessmart
Corona, CA
55, joined Feb. 2013
|
Woo hoooooooooo ! (thunderous applause....and the audience goes wild)
Yayyyyy! They get it..oh my god they get it!!!!! Im all choked up. Im verklempt. Please ,, discuss this amongst yourselves .
Very funny! I can't stop picturing Mike Meyers now. LOL!
|
3/9/2015 5:27:26 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
helmholtzwatson
Raleigh, NC
49, joined Jun. 2014
|
So what's the gist here?
There aren't any worthy of love men, period?
Alrighty then.
|
3/9/2015 5:30:07 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
lovessmart
Corona, CA
55, joined Feb. 2013
|
No ^^^
It's that the old paradigms don't work. If you are looking for a women that only wants someone at her level, then you need to be that guy. If not, look for women that has the priority of wanting a man for the purpose of having a man.
[Edited 3/9/2015 5:33:17 PM ]
|
3/9/2015 5:37:34 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
helmholtzwatson
Raleigh, NC
49, joined Jun. 2014
|
An article by: Lauren Martin of 'Elite Daily'
As of now, this man does not exist.
I've never really operated by the old paradigms anyway....too limiting.
[Edited 3/9/2015 5:39:25 PM ]
|
3/9/2015 5:38:09 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
happy_geezer
Patchogue, NY
56, joined Sep. 2014
|
All I read was
|
3/9/2015 5:39:29 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
lovessmart
Corona, CA
55, joined Feb. 2013
|
An article by: Lauren Martin of 'Elite Daily'
As of now, this man does not exist.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yes he does. I found him. And there are plenty of men that are now in relationships or are married that use to be single and are that guy. You must not hang with these men.
[Edited 3/9/2015 5:40:54 PM ]
|
3/9/2015 5:44:45 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
helmholtzwatson
Raleigh, NC
49, joined Jun. 2014
|
Congrats for proving Lauren to be wrong.
|
3/9/2015 5:46:08 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
Good article...and i waited for a such a man because yes that article also describes me...and we do deserve to have our needs met also...both of us....
|
3/9/2015 5:49:24 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
archer513
Cincinnati, OH
40, joined Dec. 2014
|
Some people just aren't loveable or dateable. They're angry,bitter,ugly,fat and not fun. If you don't take care of yourself and get set in your ways and all full of regret and anger,you don't bring much to the table. I feel bad for these people.
|
3/9/2015 5:53:07 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
lovessmart
Corona, CA
55, joined Feb. 2013
|
^^ me too
My last long term, I felt bad for him when I broke up with him, because he said women always leave me. He is one that carries his baggage along with him and can't let it go.
As much as he has so much going for him in other areas of his life that most would consider successful, long-term relationships seem to be the thing he wants the most, but has the least clue how to have that.
[Edited 3/9/2015 5:56:31 PM ]
|
3/9/2015 5:54:29 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
artokol
Vaubecourt
France
48, joined Nov. 2014
|
And OP living with her Ex who is Gay still believes she's normal...hilarious.
|
3/9/2015 5:55:09 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
driver406
Saint Paul, MN
63, joined Oct. 2009
|
Then the fault is your own so don't blame the men. I think when women play hard to get that men eventually move on to a girl much more willing to be caught.
|
3/9/2015 5:58:36 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
txrose64
Pearland, TX
51, joined Jan. 2013
|
maybe it's where I live....because there's literally thousands of singles my age and dating, that I just left those alone that weren't an equal or not up for being a partner.
but there were plenty of them...no shortage, and while sure there's lots of ones not emotionally mature enough for relationships (say my daughter's age) there's still plenty that are and she's never had any problem finding a good man (either).
all this worrying about him impressing her and his baggage honestly sounds a little guarded and paranoid.
don't worry be happy...and know that if all the important stuff is there, character, personality, we're all human as just as I mess up and learn, grown, do better, the HE does as well.
I'd tell her to get out of her head.
go with the flow and when dating you see those deal breakers, give him a chance, communicate your needs, wants and desires and he doesn't meet them or is unwilling to do so..on to the next one that will. (and there ARE those, plenty of those)
|
3/9/2015 5:59:20 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
lovessmart
Corona, CA
55, joined Feb. 2013
|
Driver, are you talking to me? I have that guy. I have never had a problem getting men. I just am this women and dump them or refuse to date them, as soon as I see they aren't the man I need.
|
3/9/2015 6:01:51 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
plantkeeper
Alexandria, VA
51, joined Apr. 2011
|
Then the fault is your own so don't blame the men. I think when women play hard to get that men eventually move on to a girl much more willing to be caught.
Well that can't be true, someone recently posted something like" if you play easy to get caught you'll be treated easy", so which is it?
Men have no idea what is it to date Men (well some of you do), just read the bs in these forums all day every day...
|
3/9/2015 6:02:19 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
sir_hugo_drax
Big Timber, MT
23, joined Apr. 2014
|
Awww geez, lady...
....Nobody cares....
|
3/9/2015 6:03:21 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
|
Woo hoooooooooo ! (thunderous applause....and the audience goes wild)
Yayyyyy! They get it..oh my god they get it!!!!! Im all choked up. Im verklempt. Please ,, discuss this amongst yourselves .
*Fanning self...Preach*
This article NAILED it for me
Omg...I so needed this...
Op
|
3/9/2015 6:04:27 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
artokol
Vaubecourt
France
48, joined Nov. 2014
|
Besides giggles and laughs the real question is how many women in the threads are actually worth a relationship...I would say lucky if it's 1%. Most have severe psychological issues and unstable. Pretty bad choice for love and unfortunately the majority follow the same path.
|
3/9/2015 6:06:41 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
lovessmart
Corona, CA
55, joined Feb. 2013
|
*Fanning self...Preach*
This article NAILED it for me
Omg...I so needed this...
Op
Good to see ya!
|
3/9/2015 6:07:16 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
helmholtzwatson
Raleigh, NC
49, joined Jun. 2014
|
maybe it's where I live....because there's literally thousands of singles my age and dating, that I just left those alone that weren't an equal or not up for being a partner.
but there were plenty of them...no shortage, and while sure there's lots of ones not emotionally mature enough for relationships (say my daughter's age) there's still plenty that are and she's never had any problem finding a good man (either).
all this worrying about him impressing her and his baggage honestly sounds a little guarded and paranoid.
don't worry be happy...and know that if all the important stuff is there, character, personality, we're all human as just as I mess up and learn, grown, do better, the HE does as well.
I'd tell her to get out of her head.
go with the flow and when dating you see those deal breakers, give him a chance, communicate your needs, wants and desires and he doesn't meet them or is unwilling to do so..on to the next one that will. (and there ARE those, plenty of those)
Agreed.
|
3/9/2015 6:08:09 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
|
Very good to see you girl....and ty for this post
|
3/9/2015 6:10:55 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
lovessmart
Corona, CA
55, joined Feb. 2013
|
Very good to see you girl....and ty for this post
YW
|
3/9/2015 6:13:24 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
archer513
Cincinnati, OH
40, joined Dec. 2014
|
The ability to get a man/woman means nothing. Being lovable is a different level. A lot of people just go from relationship to relationship repeating the same patterns. Never working on themselves...or they just eventually give up.
|
3/9/2015 6:14:23 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
eyesofmedusa
San Antonio, TX
50, joined Jun. 2012
|
Rose...I see it as a wake up call girl...
Thousands of things telling women..ohhh if you want a man?
You have to look like this...dress like this...lady like...slut in.bed...submissive.,obey etc.
Completely negating the fact many women do not lack DA..without bowing...scraping..to societys demands...and many many don't compared to those that do.
So...maybe it is and FYI...times have changed.
And even.tho many WOMEN are single,..ppl shldnt assume it is her baggage etc keeping her single...
It is the shortage of .....men on their level....
|
3/9/2015 6:14:26 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
iamalwaysjustme
Kansas City, MO
55, joined Apr. 2009
|
We already know this
It's not anyone fault but your own if you can find love
is this an error. Or how you really feel?
|
3/9/2015 6:17:11 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
The ability to get a man/woman means nothing. Being lovable is a different level. A lot of people just go from relationship to relationship repeating the same patterns. Never working on themselves...or they just eventually give up.
I agree...i have been working on myself since my 20's trying to break those patterns and get rid of the past...precisely why i wanted someone who was on the same page as i am....
|
3/9/2015 6:17:34 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
txrose64
Pearland, TX
51, joined Jan. 2013
|
I guess so Medusa...I just wasn't raised that way..the goal wasn't "to catch a man" it was to be self sufficient, independent and happy.
I've done the same with my kiddos.
just be yourself and learn to accept others as they are too.
|
3/9/2015 6:25:03 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
Rose i agree....
it has nothing to do with catching anyone..if has to do with being yourself and finding someone to love who is compatible with that self....not being calculating to catch someone...but bearing it all and being real...
[Edited 3/9/2015 6:27:06 PM ]
|
3/9/2015 6:25:19 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
archer513
Cincinnati, OH
40, joined Dec. 2014
|
Rose,2sexy
|
3/9/2015 6:28:10 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
artokol
Vaubecourt
France
48, joined Nov. 2014
|
No wonder Medusa agrees...the Man Haters Club reunites without acknowledging how unstable some women are not worthy of a relationship...hilarious.
|
3/9/2015 6:30:36 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
lovessmart
Corona, CA
55, joined Feb. 2013
|
The ability to get a man/woman means nothing. Being lovable is a different level. A lot of people just go from relationship to relationship repeating the same patterns. Never working on themselves...or they just eventually give up.
5 year relationship before I met my husband of 31 years, one 2 and half year relationship and now one which looks good for the long haul, does not show a person who goes from relationship to relationship and is unlovable. Just because a woman dates in between the long-terms just means she doesn't jump into long-term with every man. I think a lot of women are lovable, but just don't always find the men in their lives as lovable as she needs, so they initiate most of the break-ups (marriage stats, 75% of wives file for divorce). Of course there are both men and women who cannot maintain long term relationships, but to generalize that strong women are that group just doesn't hold with the facts.
[Edited 3/9/2015 6:31:58 PM ]
|
3/9/2015 6:32:23 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
No wonder Medusa agrees...the Man Haters Club reunites without acknowledging how unstable some women are not worthy of a relationship...hilarious.
Wellllll personally i think that's a given for both sexes batty batty man....but im not sure if that makes either unworthy...just in different places than maybe we are...
[Edited 3/9/2015 6:33:12 PM ]
|
3/9/2015 6:33:19 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
artokol
Vaubecourt
France
48, joined Nov. 2014
|
Wellllll personally i think that's a given for both sexes batty batty man....
Maybe you're in the 1% Batty Woman.
|
3/9/2015 6:33:47 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
validgal
Chesapeake, VA
72, joined Oct. 2013
|
Rose...I see it as a wake up call girl...
Thousands of things telling women..ohhh if you want a man?
You have to look like this...dress like this...lady like...slut in.bed...submissive.,obey etc.
Completely negating the fact many women do not lack DA..without bowing...scraping..to societys demands...and many many don't compared to those that do.
So...maybe it is and FYI...times have changed.
And even.tho many WOMEN are single,..ppl shldnt assume it is her baggage etc keeping her single...
It is the shortage of .....men on their level....
|
3/9/2015 6:33:50 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
helmholtzwatson
Raleigh, NC
49, joined Jun. 2014
|
Yep.
Trainwreck isnt gender specific.
|
3/9/2015 6:33:57 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
txrose64
Pearland, TX
51, joined Jan. 2013
|
I grew up in a small town for the most of my childhood and I most certainly saw friends that went through that horsesh*t from their parents. Forget figuring how who and what you are and being comfy with that. But it's more just forcing your child to be a performing monkey.
And those that I knew that were raised that way..have not had very happy lives that's for sure. Some came around to caring/loving themselves first then sharing that with others..some never have. Tragic.
|
3/9/2015 6:34:26 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
Maybe you're in the 1% Batty Woman.
Maybe...
|
3/9/2015 6:37:57 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
archer513
Cincinnati, OH
40, joined Dec. 2014
|
5 year relationship before I met my husband of 31 years, one 2 and half year relationship and now one which looks good for the long haul, does not show a person who goes from relationship to relationship and is unlovable. Just because a woman dates in between the long-terms just means she doesn't jump into long-term with every man. I think a lot of women are lovable, but just don't always find the men in their lives as lovable as she needs, so they initiate most of the break-ups (marriage stats, 75% of wives file for divorce). Of course there are both men and women who cannot maintain long term relationships, but to generalize that strong women are that group just doesn't hold with the facts.
As helm said. Train wreck isn't gender specific as I noted with the men/women
|
3/9/2015 6:39:24 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
amusicluvr
Salem, OR
62, joined Nov. 2013
|
Trying to find someone who rings all of your bells, is everything you always wanted, and falls in love with you at first sight as you fall in love with him at first sight is an impossible Idiot's Quest. Of course it is going to fail.
Get real, realize that-like friendship-love takes time to grow, and find someone who can generally fit most of your criteria. Then get better acquainted with him, and see what grows between you. Be a little less picky, and be willing to settle for 'Great', even when it is not 'Perfect'.
Being alone can be a grind. Being with the wrong person can be solved in an instant by leaving once yo know he is the wrong person. You have to take a few tumbles before learning to walk, run, ride a bike, etc, and such is true of finding the right mate, too. If you never take a risk, you never win a reward.
I'm not worried. Period. I take life as it comes, and deal with it, and move on when such is called for. If you find the right guy, he will be concerned about your needs, wants, satisfaction, etc. When a guy has no concern for you, that is how you know he is the wrong guy, and it is time to leave him. It is all really simple, when you think your way through it, instead of JUST feeling, and calling that thinking. Feeling has a place, but so does thinking. Use both to the fullest, in their appropriate times, and places. Relying just on thinking, or just on feeling, causes problems. They are Yin & Yang...positive, and negative. Both are needed.
|
3/9/2015 6:39:32 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
letitridegirl
Louisville, KY
38, joined Aug. 2014
|
An article by: Lauren Martin of 'Elite Daily'
She must be alone because something’s wrong with her…
There’s a fallacy women need to “attract” men. They need the perfect skirt, tempting lipstick and a good blowout. They need to be poised and intelligent, alluring and girlish. They need to be funny and witty, but not overly obnoxious.
It’s the woman who needs to fit the mold of man’s dream girl; it’s the woman who must capture the love of a man.
Fortunately, this isn’t how it works — at least, not for all the strong women I know. By contrast, women who love themselves aren’t looking to attain a certain standard or to fit a specific mold. They aren’t dressing up their sexuality and dressing down their thoughts.
They know who they are and, unfortunately for all those men out there looking for a susceptible piece of clay to mold in their calloused hands, they already love themselves.
The problem, though, is they can’t seem to find a man they’re ready to love. A man who fits their standards and their ideas of a perfect partner.
A man who interests and allures them. A man they find worthy of their time and attention.
This is the new dilemma: The plight of the single woman. It’s no longer her problem, but his problem. No longer are women single because something is wrong with them. No longer do women feel alone because they’re undesirable or unattractive.
Women are alone because no one else is good enough.
“I’m not worried about impressing you; I’m worried about you impressing me.”
I don’t just know myself; I love myself. I’m at a point in my life where I no longer second-guess every move and every thought. I have taken the time to find out who I am and what I believe — now, if only I could find a man with the same self-awareness.
Unfortunately, I’m only finding boys with about as much character and depth as the hero of their favorite action movie.
I need a man who isn’t in the middle of an identity crisis. A man who has a sense of worth without being an arrogant assh*le.
A man who isn’t going to just mimic my actions or bail because he can’t handle a woman who has more strength of character than he does. As of now, this man does not exist.
“I’m not worried about my views; I’m worried about yours.”
I know who I am and what I’m about. You, however, I’m not so sure. I know what I stand for and what I believe. I have my ardent opinions and my unwavering views.
I’m not looking for someone with the same ones, but someone with views I can respect and learn from.
I don’t want a man who can’t hold a conversation with me. I don’t want a man who doesn’t have opinions on death, love and global warming.
I want a man who’ll challenge and ignite passion and a fire in my soul. Someone who’s dedicated and inspired.
“I’m not worried about my baggage; I’m worried about yours.”
I have my sh*t under control. I have my baggage, like everyone else, but I can carry mine. I’m strong enough to bring it around without letting it weigh me down.
I’m not pulling it 5 miles behind me, tripping over it and refusing to admit it’s sitting right there.
I need a man who doesn’t come with 20 pounds of sh*t. A man who isn’t going to be thinking about his wounds and his losses. I need a man who is present, a man who learns from the past, not just drags it along.
“I’m not worried about being alone; I’m worried about being with the wrong person.”
I can handle being alone; I like being alone. I’d rather be alone than acquiesce to the standards of the lonely and insecure. I stand on my own, proudly and without fear.
I won’t enter a relationship just for the sake of it — like those women who don’t know what they want so they settle for what they see.
I won’t settle for some man just because he’s better than no man. I need passion, fire and the assurance this relationship is almost as good as the one with myself — and it’s a hard standard to meet.
“I’m not worried about my performance, I’m worried about yours.”
I’m not worried about how I’m doing or if the night went well. I’m no longer asking my friends if I did it right or if he thinks I’m not good in bed. I’m tired of wondering if it was good for them; it’s always good for them.
What about me? What about my needs? What about making me feel the way I make you feel?
I’m looking for a man who doesn’t quit when he’s finished. I need a man who keeps going because he finds pleasure in mine — a man who doesn’t think sex is finished when he’s satisfied.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This describes me so well and most of my single/divorced/widowed girlfriends.
So, if single guys are having problems with dating available women, this might be why. Any thoughts?
Wow! I hear ya girl that is the only way to be you are one smart woman
|
3/9/2015 6:39:52 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
jlyinc
Chaska, MN
80, joined Nov. 2014
|
Yep.
Trainwreck isnt gender specific.
|
3/9/2015 6:40:32 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
lovessmart
Corona, CA
55, joined Feb. 2013
|
Wow! I hear ya girl that is the only way to be you are one smart woman
|
3/9/2015 6:53:34 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
dezweather
Phoenix, AZ
42, joined Oct. 2014
|
Rose i agree....
it has nothing to do with catching anyone..if has to do with being yourself and finding someone to love who is compatible with that self....not being calculating to catch someone...but bearing it all and being real...
Wow, you are sane.
|
3/9/2015 6:54:46 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
im2thexy
Belleville, ON
47, joined Dec. 2014
|
Most of the time...
|
3/9/2015 6:55:24 PM |
It’s Not That I Can’t Find A Man To Love Me, I Can’t Find A Man I Love |
|
artokol
Vaubecourt
France
48, joined Nov. 2014
|
Maybe...
A man has to be really desperate to even consider a man hater like the ones on here who seriously have major issues...I don't consider you in this category.
|