who can anwser this honostly. 16

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9/7/2008 8:44:37 AM	who can anwser this honostly.
bry11ca Wyandotte, MI age: 43	Quote from elias0311: I do not understand why people have to go thru divorce, why cant people just get along? especially when you have kids...what do you think is the biggest issue in todays relationships??? My peronal oppinion is men do not get enough emotional needs satisfied... i mean when im hugged and kissed all the tie i can wait on sex or whatever, its when im ignored and thrown to the side that i get crazed out... Interesting thread. I will pose a few questions of my own: 1) Why can't we be born mature and beautiful souls, fully aware of our needs, goals, talents, place in the universe? Surely, we would pick our soul-mate then, right? 2) Why can't we evolve on the same path? I mean you need to be realized, I need to be realized . . . can;t we just do the same thing and have the same goals? 3) Why can't we just subjugate our wills to the will of another and just be wet bags of malliable clay? 4) Why can't we take the positivie, leave the negative, and see the value in the divorce? 5) Why are you dwelling on the past instead of improving yourself for your next relationship? 6) What the heck do I know, anyways? Sunday is for rest, family, faith, and peace . . . go get you some. Bry
9/7/2008 12:42:02 PM	who can anwser this honostly.
busygirl1970 Montgomery, AL age: 38	Quote from th6231: Hey hot pants--take it easy---you think that all your needs are in your pants and that your woman needs to stop what she is doing and give you satisfaction. Well mister--it isn't that way. Women with kids or a job or both--get tired. They don't like being treated like meat....or a dog who obediently performs tricks on command for you. It just doesn't work that way. You need a hobby or a job or some way to pass the time. You ask too many questions--what are you?? A child?? certainly a MAN knows the answers to these questions. Lighten up---treat a lady properly---you might not be in a bad divorce situation. You obviously don't learn anything from your mistakes. You want a woman and you want kids and you want everything handed to you--youi have to earn the right to have a woman and a family. She left because you do NOT treat her with dignity and respect. She does not want the kids to grow up to be like YOU. Yet another reason why I prefer an older man!
9/7/2008 1:07:37 PM	who can anwser this honostly.
ethiks Allentown, PA age: 22	im not getting married, society wont allow marriages to work it seems, what is it like 75% of all marriages end in divorce? scary thought... i was always told you get married and thats it... no devorce, you live together you die together... that is the commitment and vows you swore to... my parents and my grand parents are the only people i have known my whole life that have not devorced... it seems marriage is just as fickel as the word love and tossed around to frivolously... this is why i am affraid of marriage i have no advice except dont make the same mistake twice...
9/7/2008 1:21:49 PM	who can anwser this honostly.
elias0311 Riverside, CA age: 22	Quote from busygirl1970: Quote from th6231: Hey hot pants--take it easy---you think that all your needs are in your pants and that your woman needs to stop what she is doing and give you satisfaction. Well mister--it isn't that way. Women with kids or a job or both--get tired. They don't like being treated like meat....or a dog who obediently performs tricks on command for you. It just doesn't work that way. You need a hobby or a job or some way to pass the time. You ask too many questions--what are you?? A child?? certainly a MAN knows the answers to these questions. Lighten up---treat a lady properly---you might not be in a bad divorce situation. You obviously don't learn anything from your mistakes. You want a woman and you want kids and you want everything handed to you--youi have to earn the right to have a woman and a family. She left because you do NOT treat her with dignity and respect. She does not want the kids to grow up to be like YOU. Yet another reason why I prefer an older man! i have to be honost, older guys do have more knowledge then us younger counterparts... but we all eventually get there...butis it really my fault im puped full of adrenaline and testosterone? lol
9/7/2008 1:27:35 PM	who can anwser this honostly.
kitise Greenwood, SC age: 30	when pple are are courting, they are all over each other and think they are the perfect couple. they wont discuss financial, emotional, spiritual issues exhaustively. They just cant wait to be together. well after the marriage and all the honey bunny"s and lots of sex, then theres nothing to discuss. they start fighting over one onother underwear and shit like that. later,fights and divorce. its sad when kids get involved.
9/7/2008 1:31:31 PM	who can anwser this honostly.
elias0311 Riverside, CA age: 22	Quote from busygirl1970: Quote from th6231: Hey hot pants--take it easy---you think that all your needs are in your pants and that your woman needs to stop what she is doing and give you satisfaction. Well mister--it isn't that way. Women with kids or a job or both--get tired. They don't like being treated like meat....or a dog who obediently performs tricks on command for you. It just doesn't work that way. You need a hobby or a job or some way to pass the time. You ask too many questions--what are you?? A child?? certainly a MAN knows the answers to these questions. Lighten up---treat a lady properly---you might not be in a bad divorce situation. You obviously don't learn anything from your mistakes. You want a woman and you want kids and you want everything handed to you--youi have to earn the right to have a woman and a family. She left because you do NOT treat her with dignity and respect. She does not want the kids to grow up to be like YOU. Yet another reason why I prefer an older man! she didnt leave me because i treated her badly, i actually treated her with love and caring and respect, she left me because i work and go to school and im trying to jugle a lot of things at once, my father passed away 3 years ago and since ten i hve been helping my family move on too, and my 8 year old brother and 12 yer old sister look up too me too, and so do my kids im balancing everything and everyone equally, she just didnt like that i wouldnt give her all my time and effort, soon after she just stopped being there emotionaly for me, i work, do school, i try to exersice to join the sheriffs, so i can better my familys life, and am there for everyone but she just wanted me all to herself, i just cant abondon my family everyone needs me and my kids need me, im trying i really am, its just hard why am i so damn wrong for trying to help everyone??? I get bashed and told i treated her wrong... if anyone wants to know why she ultimalty left me, its because the last day we were together, she asked me to make dinner she told me make the ground meat like little hamburgers so when i ended up making little hamburgers she just yelled and went off on me, and screamed and cursed me out called me a moron for not paying attention to her, she just stromed out and left me, didnt give a shit about how i would feel, she just told me to f**k off, because i dont understand anything... i know im young i know i havent lived as much as most of my older counterparts, but god damn it im not a bad person i dont deserve to be treated like crap, i mean she was very abusive verbally with me, she had a hot temper and so do i but i bottle everthing in and take it out in paintball cause thats my one and only hobbie. i never take it out on her or my kids or sibblings or family
9/7/2008 2:34:31 PM	who can anwser this honostly.
newlife2live Plainfield, IN age: 41	elias im sorry to hear(read) all this. Its sounds to me you were trying your best to make everyone happy. Cheer up your young just dont let bitterness set in. Blessing
9/7/2008 4:21:35 PM	who can anwser this honostly.
girlygirl1989 Florence, AL age: 19	From the marriages I've seen fall apart including my own its due mainly to stress. Men have expected certain things from women since the beginning of time. They want a wife who cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, and satisfies them sexually. But in today's world there's not enough time for everything. My marriage was solid in the beginning we argued but we talked it out and got through it. Then our first child came along and we didn't find enough time to spend with each other. I barely had time to do anything before I had to change a diaper, feed, or pick up a crying baby. Not to mention the dirty dishes and laundry that was piling up. So, forget about having anytime to spend w/ my husband. He'd get mad, I'd argued I couldn't do everything then boom, were both pissed. We don't have time to talk about it so the anger builds up, so next argument mean hateful insults come out of one mouth and the other retaliates, and it just makes things worse. And this same cycle continues... I think what marriages need is more time to talk about the other person's feelings, and what they expect from the other person, and compromising on a few things. And definately no saying anything that hurts so bad that it can't be forgiven or forgotten.
9/8/2008 12:05:24 AM	who can anwser this honostly.
elias0311 Riverside, CA age: 22	Quote from girlygirl1989: From the marriages I've seen fall apart including my own its due mainly to stress. Men have expected certain things from women since the beginning of time. They want a wife who cooks, cleans, takes care of the kids, and satisfies them sexually. But in today's world there's not enough time for everything. My marriage was solid in the beginning we argued but we talked it out and got through it. Then our first child came along and we didn't find enough time to spend with each other. I barely had time to do anything before I had to change a diaper, feed, or pick up a crying baby. Not to mention the dirty dishes and laundry that was piling up. So, forget about having anytime to spend w/ my husband. He'd get mad, I'd argued I couldn't do everything then boom, were both pissed. We don't have time to talk about it so the anger builds up, so next argument mean hateful insults come out of one mouth and the other retaliates, and it just makes things worse. And this same cycle continues... I think what marriages need is more time to talk about the other person's feelings, and what they expect from the other person, and compromising on a few things. And definately no saying anything that hurts so bad that it can't be forgiven or forgotten. Ok heres a little something to clear things up... b4 her i had never been with a women sexually i was a virgin, and as such i didnt expect anything from her in return i wasnt a sex hungry animal like some would want to belive, i was very calm and patient with her, when things got serious, i was working she moved in with me, because one she had no home either she had lost everthing, and so yeah i didnt expect any sex foodcooking clenaing from her, i love to clean take care of my food, i dont expect anything from no one, i am pretty self effecient, and on top of that i took care of the kids a majority of the time, why? because hse tried working form home online... well sadly to say that put a great stress on me, with work school family and my other family, it started getting very heavy for me, and i actually started loosing sexual interest with her, because i was busy like hell so we didnt spend time together, and it went to hell when our boy was born... i did majority of the work, while she slept in till noon and was lazy, and NOOOOO she didnt cleaned i clean i worked and i took care of the kids... i am so tired of that shit, i just blew up and broke down, not at herm, just put yourself in my shoes! its very hard to deal with that, i mean she hadnt cleaned in weeks if not months, i had to do all that shit... and now she lives with her mom and her room is all horbible and messy...
9/8/2008 12:11:03 AM	who can anwser this honostly.
bjk123 Layton, UT age: 51	Quote from th6231: By the way--I just do the typing---the answer was put together by a group of men and women here at work--we read questions and put our ideas together and then I type it in--because I control the computer better than them. So anyone who disagrees is free to do so but don't tell me about it. These people I work with are 19 to 61 years old--a nice cross section of ages--varied in experiences in life--some happily married--some not--some not with anyone for a lot of reasons. But we all have ideas on the questions and the ones worth all the time answering--get answered. Elias--you have had some very interesting questions in the past---all together the questions gave insight to who you are and what you are going through. We don't expect an answer--we just hope you get something from it. Harsh?? We don't think so--if we wrote a stupid paragraph you may not have bothered to read it.---So we got a bit creative. Personally--I was your age once--had the same feelings and attitudes and the same issues---well I found out I was a bit wrong with the way I was thinking--it took a while but I changed--and things got better. They will get better for you if you try to see a few things--DIFFERENTLY. You will find that it is ALL up to you. Good luck. OMG I am so surprised, I've been admiring a lot of different people, not just one really creative, thoughtful man. I'm so embarrassed, good thing I'm so shy, I was thinking about winking at you, because you (all) intrigue me. [Edited 9/8/2008 12:20:45 AM]
9/8/2008 1:02:07 AM	who can anwser this honostly.
th6231 Point Pleasant Beach, NJ age: 61	Quote from bjk123: Quote from th6231: By the way--I just do the typing---the answer was put together by a group of men and women here at work--we read questions and put our ideas together and then I type it in--because I control the computer better than them. So anyone who disagrees is free to do so but don't tell me about it. These people I work with are 19 to 61 years old--a nice cross section of ages--varied in experiences in life--some happily married--some not--some not with anyone for a lot of reasons. But we all have ideas on the questions and the ones worth all the time answering--get answered. Elias--you have had some very interesting questions in the past---all together the questions gave insight to who you are and what you are going through. We don't expect an answer--we just hope you get something from it. Harsh?? We don't think so--if we wrote a stupid paragraph you may not have bothered to read it.---So we got a bit creative. Personally--I was your age once--had the same feelings and attitudes and the same issues---well I found out I was a bit wrong with the way I was thinking--it took a while but I changed--and things got better. They will get better for you if you try to see a few things--DIFFERENTLY. You will find that it is ALL up to you. Good luck. OMG I am so surprised, I've been admiring a lot of different people, not just one really creative, thoughtful man. I'm so embarrassed, good thing I'm so shy, I was thinking about winking at you, because you (all) intrigue me. well I certainly thank you for the thought--in fact we all thank you.I do work with some very nice men and women. You would probably be surprised to find out that we are assigned to RESCUE TRUCK 2 the busiest company in the area--our minds are always alert and buzzing. We are hyper active--big kids--for lack of a better description. I hope you have a nice day--be safe and drop a line once in a while
9/8/2008 4:38:53 AM	who can anwser this honostly.
greenangeleye79 Brooklyn, NY age: 29	well from a woman who is divorced with kids. U cant always say men are not getting their emotional need met. I was together with my kids father 10 years. I went through his various surgeries, his being unemployed all the time, his lack of emotional support for me, and last but not least his cheating which was the straw that broke the camels back. I worked, went to school, took care of my kids and came home and took care of his needs, emotional and sexual. never made him feel like less of a man. but with him he just thought living that way was ok each situation is different and u cant lummp them together that way. edited to add that we also tried the couseling thing and i gave it 10years. there is only so much u can give. [Edited 9/8/2008 4:39:56 AM]
9/8/2008 4:56:16 AM	who can anwser this honostly.
yeahthisisme Clearfield, UT age: 55	One thing I learned in life Elias is...........if you lay down like a rug people are going to walk on you. The other is..........when you pick a mate you have to make them first. No one wants to come second but dont be pickin a selfish person either.
9/8/2008 11:20:24 AM	who can anwser this honostly.
elias0311 Riverside, CA age: 22	Quote from yeahthisisme: One thing I learned in life Elias is...........if you lay down like a rug people are going to walk on you. The other is..........when you pick a mate you have to make them first. No one wants to come second but dont be pickin a selfish person either. yeah she was selfish, i worked did school... my family then my sibblings and just everything piled on me, its just not fair, i treated her great, I never once cheated on her either never thought about it, but it enede likt it did...
9/8/2008 12:23:03 PM	who can anwser this honostly.
judit0606 Big Stone Gap, VA age: 51	OK...you want an HONEST answer, here's one: SELFISHNESS, that's WHY!!! Look at YOUR own words. HOW MANY TIMES did you use the word "I" in it??? Just Food for Thought and MY opinion. Good Luck! PEACE

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