mensan
Dallas, OR
age: 56
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Few people marry for love. They marry for: money, status, income, regular sex, lust they have mistaken for love, the sake of fitting in with all their friends who are married, the sake of not being alone, and other reasons. After a few years they find that a loveless marriage isn't all it was cracked up to be, and they begin to resent one another, and then hate each other. Then they have to part, or kill themselves, or kill each other. Divorce-as nasty as it can get-is still better than murder, or suicide. The way to avoid divorce is to shop around long enough , get to know the other person, get to really like the other person, and then fall in love with the other person...all before tieing the knot. It's old fashioned, and out of place in this "I want it now!" world, but it works. Those who think otherwise, and rush into marriage, are the ones who get divorced.
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twighlight
Pensacola, FL
age: 27
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most men dont know how to express there emotions properly and when they do it like hey babe let go get our freak on. also if u set down between the two of em strait up told each other how they felt just once a day and any problems up come to some common ground or compromise.
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sparks60
Marion, OH
age: 60
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OK...you want an HONEST answer, here's one:
SELFISHNESS, that's WHY!!! Look at YOUR own words. HOW MANY TIMES did you use the word "I" in it??? Just Food for Thought and MY opinion. Good Luck! PEACE 
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actman69
Charlotte, NC
age: 49
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Some people change after you get married.
No they don't ! We just tried to change them or never really got to know them in the first place !
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flnative32750
Orlando, FL
age: 42 online now!
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From what I have seen both in my own marriage and others, people are very selfish. They don't want to work to make things better for both parties. We live in a disposable society. If this particular person doesn't make you feel good, then you just get rid of them and find another. However, if more people would realize and truly take to heart the importance and seriousness of the commitment of marriage, they would work together to resolve issues. This is especially true where children are involved. They are the true innocent victims of divorce. People think that if I get rid of this person and find another then I won't have to put up with the things I don't like. What people don't think about is that everyone has faults and is not perfect. People need to learn that it is easier to deal with those faults instead of searching out another partner whose has a whole new set of faults. Those faults seem minor in in the beginning, but grow over time.
That is not to say that there are individual cases where divorce is the only option: abuse, drugs, alcholics, etc.
Just my two cents worth on the subject.
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wisegirl33
Queensland
Australia
age: 43
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I have never been married, but I believe that it depends entirely on the "faults" or the problems or issues within the marriage itself.
It would be more than just identifiable things like drugs, alcohol etc. The other person could have serious psychological and personality issues that dominate and ruin the relationship. They may be a serial cheater for example.
While I think that people should support each other in relationships and believe that most of them take 'some work"; I dont think that any person has to be the 'counselor" in the relationship to another person, to the point where they are not happy.
I really think it all depends on the people involved and the issues that need to be sorted out. I think that such things are very personal and will not apply to every relationship.
While I have never been married, this is what I think "true responsibility" really means. Support and concern at all times - but total separation, if that is necessary as well.
Regards, wisegirl33 - 13 Sept 08 at 10:16pm Aest
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