| 9/7/2008 12:03:39 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34 online now!
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Don't get me wrong, when you have a man and a woman that are TRULY committed to the marriage vows, raising children, complimenting each other and having fun times together, and can work things out through the good and bad times, marriage can be a beautiful thing. Now of course, we do have some happy married couples out there. But let's take a look at this a bit further...
Obviously, today's married household is different from 50 years ago.
With the divorce rates high as they are, and this DOESN'T EVEN include the percentages of spouses that are separated on the verge of getting a divorce, married couples cheating on each other for an array of reasons, not to mention disgruntled couples living together - for the sake of the children or another major factor or two... Tack on those statistics, we would probably be looking at a figure near 80% - just a guess.
There's also people who have been married once, twice, and even more - and have said that they would never get married again due to various reasons.
We know if the two couples are truly committed to the marriage vows etc. marriage can be harmonious. The marriage is supposed to be "Til Death Do Us Part" and to weather the storms. We also know that many these days are quick to throw in the towel.
When you look at the lopsided ratio of failed marriages, couples that are separated, disgruntled couples who live together in misery VS. the percentages of successful marriages the ratio is very lopsided. Many are asking the question, is marriage really over-rated these days.
So the big question - Is marriage today over-rated in your opinion?
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| 9/7/2008 12:13:12 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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washingtonbound
Suffern, NY
age: 21
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I don't really know anymore...I am mostly try and think that marriages these days can still last..then on the other hand I see some couples who have little fights and things back and forth..but are still able to kiss and make up a few minutes or an hour later...and then there are others..who stay mad..and then from there its all down hill..
My dad left my mom after 35 years..his only reason?..he wasn't happy and he had found someone else..that was almost 12 years ago...but since then..I have seen many that have lasted...I think it takes...even the smallest grain to make something that big and full of love last a life time...some look over it..and some don't..I don't want to think they are over rated these days...but on the other hand...
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| 9/7/2008 12:15:24 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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kitise
Greenwood, SC
age: 30
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may be it should not be "till death do us part" rather it should be "till shit do us part"
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| 9/7/2008 12:17:21 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34 online now!
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may be it should not be "till death do us part" rather it should be "till shit do us part"
 Well, I know what your answer is
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| 9/7/2008 12:31:32 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34 online now!
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So Ms. Coleman, do you think marriage is over-rated or not?
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| 9/7/2008 12:38:33 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34 online now!
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Thanks for your opinion Ms. Coleman.
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| 9/7/2008 12:44:17 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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whisperingnight
Amsterdam, NY
age: 57
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From a divorced guy here who speaks from experience get a pre-nup!
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| 9/7/2008 12:53:08 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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zeanah
Clarion, PA
age: 49 online now!
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Good Thread Bestman!
No...I do not think it is over rated at all. Yes, I am divorced and was engaged once since my divorce. I still like the concept of marriage. Some will say "why do you need a piece of paper to be together?" Well, you don't have to, if that is your perference. No one says these days it is mandatory to be a respected couple in society. We have more choices now than our parents had.I am not sure if this is good or bad , but it is a fact now, in this time in life.In some cases, the children suffer severely in bad marriages. It's not fair to them and our generation has seen the mental health issues created in their adult lives.
Just because something fails for you, does not mean it is a bad thing. We wreck our cars...do we never drive again? We get hurt in sports or for whatever reason...do we stop doing what we like to do out of fear of it happening again? Our children hurt us at times...do we stop being parents? God does not always answer our prayers as we would like...do we give up on God? Do you see my point?
Marrige is the ultimate outward sign of your devotion and love for one another.It is the ultimate commitment to your partner and act of love. To me, it is not just a piece of paper, but an act of devotion. I do feel it is to easy to give up these days, but that is an individuals issue within ones self. The high divorce rate is also an excuse for people to not commit and respect their partner...giving one's all takes work and some are to lazy to do it again.
It is not the concept of "marriage's" fault, but the fault of the people involved. Marriage is not the problem...it is the people who give it a bad name.
It is like anything in life...you can make the best of anything you choose to do. You can believe in yourself and inner strength of the heart or you can allow fear and past failures guide your choices regarding love and commitment. Some people are not marriage material and that's okay. Some people do not have the personality or desire within and they should not marry. For me...I wish it to be in my life again. I want to give the ultimate and have it given back. At my age, I see now what is more important in life. I will not allow pasts hurt and failures control my desires. I want to respect my true love by giving my all in life....and on paper!
"Z" will commit without a problem...I am not scared in the least!
[Edited 9/7/2008 12:53:39 PM]
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| 9/7/2008 12:53:13 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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kitise
Greenwood, SC
age: 30
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For me... no... , its not
overrated when its time for me to marry... I will choose the right one and it will be a wonderful lifetime thing. Could be my expectations of it are not the same as others.
I do not see marriage as a cure to feeling lonley and I do not see it as a way to solve problems...
I see it as a holy union between a man and woman, a lifetime partnership.
For some.... it is not possible to be in a marriage.
My expecxtations are realistic.
That may be the difference in those who can and those who can't
( be and stay married)
This is the female that trashes men. uve just attacked me on another forum. I was trying to check you details but found not only do u lack a picture but u have no profile.
I wanted to respond to you with precision, but since u may be a man and very troubled. i move on.
If you need a debate be the woman/man that u say u are and stop hiding to insult people.
I wish u a quick recovery.
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| 9/7/2008 1:09:05 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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waterluvr75
Cherry Hill, NJ
age: 33 online now!
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Marriage is not overrated IMO, I think it's the people's values these days. No one really holds anything sacred anymore. We are so used to if something breaks to run out and buy a new one instead of taking the time and patience in 'fixing' it.
Most do not have patience anymore, if they had any in the first place, or the old values. It's very sad really when you sit and think about it. I seriously doubt an 1/8th of my generation will ever celebrate a 50th anniversary. 
Alot of people are warped in their ways of thinking these days on how things should work. Some live in fairytales others just don't have a clue b/c they were not given the tools on how to make a relationship work. Then you have others that give up too easily b/c it's too easy and acceptable to RUN instead of having that open line of communication and trust in the other person that whatever problem arises they can feel like they can go to their spouse to vent their frustrations and together they work thru them.
No one wants to admit when they are wrong either, others think that that first time you met the person and all the rainbows and music they heard and saw in first meeting will be that way forever...well no, you'll have you're ups and downs and a healthy relationship takes the patience of a monk and lots of work and not a "OMG this is too hard, I can't do it, or take this, not what I signed up for" type attitude.....aaaaaaaaaaye the list goes on.
People are just too flaky these day.
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| 9/7/2008 1:09:49 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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washingtonbound
Suffern, NY
age: 21
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Marriage is not overrated IMO, I think it's the people's values these days. No one really holds anything sacred anymore. We are so used to if something breaks to run out and buy a new one instead of taking the time and patience in 'fixing' it.
Most do not have patience anymore, if they had any in the first place, or the old values. It's very sad really when you sit and think about it. I seriously doubt an 1/8th of my generation will ever celebrate a 50th anniversary.
Alot of people are warped in their ways of thinking these days on how things should work. Some live in fairytales others just don't have a clue b/c they were not given the tools on how to make a relationship work. Then you have others that give up too easily b/c it's too easy and acceptable to RUN instead of having that open line of communication and trust in the other person that whatever problem arises they can feel like they can go to their spouse to vent their frustrations and together they work thru them.
No one wants to admit when they are wrong either, others think that that first time you met the person and all the rainbows and music they heard and saw in first meeting will be that way forever...well no, you'll have you're ups and downs and a healthy relationship takes the patience of a monk and lots of work and not a "OMG this is too hard, I can't do it, or take this, not what I signed up for" type attitude.....aaaaaaaaaaye the list goes on.
People are just too flaky these day.
 
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| 9/7/2008 1:11:46 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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waterluvr75
Cherry Hill, NJ
age: 33 online now!
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Thanks Missy 
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| 9/7/2008 2:57:20 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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judit0606
Big Stone Gap, VA
age: 51
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WOW...GOOD QUESTION, BESTMAN!!!
 I REALLY HATE to think that marriage IS over-rated in ANY society! BUT, on the other hand, in THIS society of todaywith the moral decline, the irresponsibility, and the total lack of commitment AND horrible work ethics...Sigh, this IS EXACTLY, the case!!! It doesn't say much about US as a society when this happens and it's sad...very, very sad! BUT, I don't know WHAT we EXPECT when parents just let their kids run wild??? Some parents EVEN let their kids tell THEM what to do INSTEAD of sitting their butts STRAIGHT like OUR parents did for us??? WE have FAILED AS A SOCIETY in the instruction of our children where OUR parents/grandparents did NOT fail us. AND, we've just GIVEN our kids way TOO MUCH!!! It's to the point where some or most feel/believe that they don't HAVE to WORK or stay out of trouble because Mom and/or Dad will bail them out and pay their way ALL THEIR LIVES!!! Our children are going to have LESS than US instead of MORE because of THIS attitude. Whereas, most of the time, each generation has bettered themselves and had a little more than the generation BEFORE them...the majority of THIS GENERATION won't and don't, I can assure you of THAT!!! SOME of our kids are sooo LAZY that they expect EVERYTHING to be handed to them. They seem to think this: "Well, why should WE have to WORK? After all, Mom and/or Dad has ALWAYS handed to us BEFORE and we've NEVER had to work, have we?" AND, you know what???...THEY ARE RIGHT!!! Most have NEVER even had any chores, have they? Jezz, I HAVE to STOP now. It may seem that I've gotten WAY off topic. BUT, I do believe this IS and DOES explain why so many marriages FAIL and are considered over-rated in this new millenium. We've made SELFISH children who grow up to be SELFISH adults andTWO selfish people in a marriage NEVER, EVER WORKS!  Oh Lord, when I get started on this subject...I get carried away! Sigh, I hope everyone understands what I'm TRYING to say here and I've not offended ANYONE! If I have, I am TRULY sorry, that was NOT my intention. BUT, it's JMO anyway, Right? right... PEACE
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| 9/7/2008 2:59:45 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34 online now!
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Excellent points Judit . It's ok to go on and on. You are just stating how you feel and that's ok...
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| 9/7/2008 3:06:49 PM |
Is marriage in the new millenium over-rated? |
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lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 51
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bestman a very good question and a difficult one to answer..... I know some people talk about couples who have stayed together many years grown old together etc... but truthfully if you were to ask a lot of them they are not and were not completely happy together ...To some they just cant find a way out and so they stay and make the best of it often going their seperate ways with seperate interests etc...There are exceptions though yes some couples do truly love each other and last the distance. I have not succeeded in marriage and after all I have been through I am very reluctant to go that way again.I still believe its not the marriage certificate but the couple themselves that binds the union together...I would exchange rings but i do not want another piece of paper ......P.S so who invented the idea of marriage anyway??????
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