| 10/7/2008 7:26:15 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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I read the forums.....probably spend way more time than I should reading them.
It LOOKS like virtually every person on here has been hurt in a bad relationship.
We'd be stupid to not learn from past mistakes, but I wonder if many people are letting that bad relationship prevent them from REALLY entering the dating world again.
There is some bitterness out there....I see gender-bashing....post-after-post of "what that bad person did to me".....
In an environment that's supposed to let the sexes be attracted to each other, that doesn't seem very condusive.
Am I alone in this thinking?
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| 10/7/2008 7:28:13 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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nickiename
Las Cruces, NM
age: 37
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You're not alone. There comes a time when you just gotta let it go. When looking for a new partner, that would be a real good time, I'd say.
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| 10/7/2008 7:28:22 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 35 online now!
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Nothing can stop me now.. 'cuz I don't care.. any more.
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| 10/7/2008 7:32:12 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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beanz991
Houston, TX
age: 41 online now!
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It LOOKS like virtually every person on here has been hurt in a bad relationship.
I haven't. Being a psychopath has its advantages.
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| 10/7/2008 7:33:07 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 50
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I'll have to agree with you on this one
yet I know some are letting the bad relationship to over come them and well for some that works for them and they refuse to let it go
such is life
You cant make a person let go .. those that dont you see much bitterness with them
Thing is this a bad relationship isnt the end of the world
so why have that monkey on your back
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| 10/7/2008 7:35:59 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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missmmeoftheday
Brooklyn, NY
age: 42
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AK man... you really need to stop asking all this philosophical stuff so early in the AM.... I mean, how's a girl supposed to goof off at work when she's forced to think about this stuff???? 
That being said.... My downstairs neighbors- I live on the top floor of a 2 family house, they are downstairs.... anyway, they left a note this morning that they are gone for 10 days- they are on their honeymoon- and so they asked if I would bring in their mail and put it in a box they left.
No problem... except that when I read that they are away on a 10 day honeymoon, I suddenly felt this sadness and emptiness.... like I am continuing to miss out on something.
I want very much to have a man in my life- to be in a healthy adult relationship. I haven't yet met the man who wants the same with me, and usually, that is okay...
but honestly, sometimes it just comes flooding back, this sense of loneliness and this thinking that I don't know how to get what I want....
It's not bitterness, per se, at least I don't think so; but it might be seen by others as bitterness.
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| 10/7/2008 7:40:05 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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ccherie
Salem, OR
age: 54 online now!
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Nothing can stop me now.. 'cuz I don't care.. any more.
Oh Evil  ... I don't believe that!!! Your comments can be extreme ... however your heart shows through occasionally... this is what I see. Without a doubt though.. your trust would be very hard to earn
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| 10/7/2008 7:41:36 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 40
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It is not scar tissue arkansas, it is realism, might as well disban DH and deal with it.
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| 10/7/2008 7:43:09 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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It is not scar tissue arkansas, it is realism, might as well disban DH and deal with it.
That's why we need to keep a positive attitude.
>BOOT<
.....just kidding.
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| 10/7/2008 7:44:24 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 60
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Let me be the first to admit that I have bashed my ex here ad nauseum, but maybe, just maybe, I have come to a point in the healing process where I really don't care anymore. I made some goals earlier in the year and am proud to say that (fingers crossed in this poor economy) I made all of them, including my job search. I have to say I often wonder if someone up there was listening to my moaning and groaning about life being unfair and did something about it. Or maybe I just got off my whiny a** and did something positive and it was like a chain reaction in my life.
Have I found Mr. Right? Oh hell no. I said in March that I was taking baby steps and I am. Yes, there are scars on my heart, but it keeps beating, letting me know it is still there. Am I pure scar tissue? Nope, I am just me, take me or leave me. I can be your best friend or your worst enemy, but that's not scar tissue talking. It's reality. Am I hardened by a bitter divorce? Maybe...I know I am wiser for it. I do know one thing. If a man ever tries to convince me of his love with mere words and no action, I will laugh my a** off and run away. Con artists are a dime a dozen.
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| 10/7/2008 7:52:18 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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arkansasnman
Fayetteville, AR
age: 45 online now!
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You're not alone. There comes a time when you just gotta let it go. When looking for a new partner, that would be a real good time, I'd say.
.....one would think.
.....but if someone's on this site, then someone's probably looking; yet the pain is THICK.
Maybe it's possible for some people to be hurt so badly they can't stop.
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| 10/7/2008 7:59:16 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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foxy_woman_49
Omaha, NE
age: 50
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Right..some hurt so deep nothing else can enter..the pain is over whelming for him/her that it can't leave
sighs..
What could help this situation?
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| 10/7/2008 7:59:27 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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lilmissala
Hartselle, AL
age: 51
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It is sad but you are right arkansasman. I too read alot of post and profiles. I see alot of bitterness. Until they take hold of their lives,learn from their mistakes,learn to forgive themselves for their mistakes,and yes forgive the other person,and yes take their part of responsibility I don't see much progress for them in the future. In every relationship their are 2 sides to everything. Unless you were perfect you made some mistakes too in the relationship. My main mistake in alot of mine was allowing the relationship to even be a relationship to begin with. No I don't think I am responsible for the physical abuse I was in but I did put myself in that relationship and didn't leave when the red flags said run. I am not saying they can never have another relationship but it is very doubtful it will succeed until they have put full closure on the other one. I speak from experience in my own life and this is just my opinion.
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| 10/7/2008 8:06:59 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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evileddy
Ottawa, ON
age: 35 online now!
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Oh Evil ... I don't believe that!!! Your comments can be extreme ... however your heart shows through occasionally... this is what I see. Without a doubt though.. your trust would be very hard to earn
Once you give up hope.. you have nothing to lose.. and then you are truly free.
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| 10/7/2008 8:08:57 AM |
Are we all just scar tissue? |
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nickiename
Las Cruces, NM
age: 37
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I don't know if it's can't or won't stop hurting. I think some just get in the habit of being bitter and bashing away, and pretty soon it's just second nature. Or it's a defense, conscious or possibly subconscious, to stay well insulated. I think it can be tough for someone who's been badly burned to reconcile the desire for a partner with the fear of being hurt.
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