| 12/2/2008 6:39:01 AM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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lunarider232
Amston, CT
age: 52
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Online dating is a cruel animal! The way I see it, there's three basic things that run through the mind before people decide to weather they respond back to your wink or e-mail:
#1) are you good looking enough? #2) who has the most to offer?
#3) similar interests?
I guess if you pass all the criteria then you'll get a reply! But say one little thing out of context and (poof!.. your gone! Now chances are if you met this person in a real world situation, you'd be kinder... listen longer, ask more questions and get a real feeling for that individuals personality, it would seem that would be more important than the selection basics I mentioned above.
Have you ever noticed... when your brand new to a dating site, you get your fair share of hits for the first week or two? And then nothing.. maybe a few here and there, it just seems strange to me, with all the people that are within striking distance.. you haven't nailed down a fair share of interviews, as I refer to them as! Its probably cause there's to many game players on these sites to begin with, people just keep flipping to next page hoping to find someone better, I think its high time to have a little more feelings... go out meet some of these people, whats the worst that can happen.... spend a little time talking and go home early!
Just wanted to put this out there, its open for discussion and I'd like to hear some feed back
Respectfully,
S.J
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| 12/2/2008 6:44:51 AM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 40 online now!
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I do think we lose the third demention on a dating site. But to be fair to everyone, we can only analyze someone based on what we see and what we write. If your profile is honest and someone is not interested based on your honesty, it more than likely wasn't meant to be.
And to the tyny man, it is not only women who can be superficial. I didn't see this thread as a woman bashing thread and there is no reason for you to turn it into one.
[Edited 12/2/2008 6:45:44 AM]
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| 12/2/2008 6:45:20 AM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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wolfi
Albuquerque, NM
age: 43
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Dating sites work just fine for the advertisers.......
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| 12/2/2008 6:46:19 AM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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doriflubber
Jamestown, NY
age: 39
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I am glad you brought this up. I too have had this experience. I have been on for some time... 2 different sites... cancelling both of them and decided to give it another shot. The result... only a few dates... I will admit that I am quite selective and understand that my lifestyle choices limit me (I am great with that... not complainining).
I also am not "fearful" of taking a chance to get to know someone and am fully "ok" with letting them know that "friends would be the best choice"... and vice versa... ALSO I have 2 great big strong brothers who know my agenda when it comes to meeting new people... ha ha... (And they have lots of big friends) 
So... I am anxious to hear the replies also. Thanks for posting.
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| 12/2/2008 6:50:41 AM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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wileyguy
Wilkes Barre, PA
age: 37
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wow......its pretty true and there is such a fine line we walk.like you said it usually seems either you hit it off right away or not.it doesnt make sense to waste time on somebody who doesnt catch your attention right away.besides if you keep communicating and give them time......as you do others,you might give false hope or better yet be labeled.
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| 12/2/2008 6:51:05 AM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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lunarider232
Amston, CT
age: 52
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It certainly wasn't meant to be bashing any one sex, I was just putting it out ther for some to ponder...
S.J
[Edited 12/2/2008 7:09:56 AM]
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| 12/2/2008 6:53:04 AM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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lunarider232
Amston, CT
age: 52
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There certainly is that fine line, more time? how about one time... that'd be a good place to start,
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| 12/2/2008 9:49:00 AM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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wileyguy
Wilkes Barre, PA
age: 37
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1 time? i dont know why they havent but i know trying to find 'the one' is almost impossible.ya might have a good idea there.....just get out and meet up and take it from there.
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| 12/2/2008 10:12:11 AM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34 online now!
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Online dating is a cruel animal! The way I see it, there's three basic things that run through the mind before people decide to weather they respond back to your wink or e-mail:
#1) are you good looking enough? #2) who has the most to offer?
#3) similar interests?
I guess if you pass all the criteria then you'll get a reply! But say one little thing out of context and (poof!.. your gone! Now chances are if you met this person in a real world situation, you'd be kinder... listen longer, ask more questions and get a real feeling for that individuals personality, it would seem that would be more important than the selection basics I mentioned above.
Have you ever noticed... when your brand new to a dating site, you get your fair share of hits for the first week or two? And then nothing.. maybe a few here and there, it just seems strange to me, with all the people that are within striking distance.. you haven't nailed down a fair share of interviews, as I refer to them as! Its probably cause there's to many game players on these sites to begin with, people just keep flipping to next page hoping to find someone better, I think its high time to have a little more feelings... go out meet some of these people, whats the worst that can happen.... spend a little time talking and go home early!
Just wanted to put this out there, its open for discussion and I'd like to hear some feed back
Respectfully,
S.J
Good points
Dating sites work just fine for the advertisers.......
Dating sites (excluding the free ones) are filling the pockets of the advertisers. But hey, everyone has a right to earn money. Anywho, the number of fake profiles, people that BS, drama, very superficial people, very picky people, etc. etc., outweighs the benefits of actually meeting someone genuine that will actually end up in an engagement and furthermore, marriage. Sure their are a few success stories, but their are more negative stories than success stories and more BS and negativity one has to shift through to at least get a date on average. Hell, many don't even want to talk over the phone 
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| 12/2/2008 10:19:35 AM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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ttex1969
Walker, LA
age: 39
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I think dating sites should work on arranging get togethers. I know I'd go to check out a local DH party. It may not work of the smaller sites, but that big "match"ing site could probably set up meetings in larger cities.
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| 12/2/2008 10:22:40 AM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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in_doubtalishis
Beaumont, CA
age: 33 online now!
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| 12/2/2008 10:43:38 AM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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lunarider232
Amston, CT
age: 52
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You know you have a great idea, there are get togethers posted in forums and what have you, but i don't really think anyone takes them seriously. I think if people were to post their interest in attending, sort of like... yeah I'm interested type of thing! once you see there's some interest... it might snowball into something.... Just a thought
Any ideas how to get her done? (CT. people)
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| 12/2/2008 3:09:50 PM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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doreen1111
Brenham, TX
age: 44
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I like online dating ... I think you have to do it awhile to get the hang of it ... but I don't do too much talking over email.... couple emails and then on the phone ... if that works I want to meet them about a week later. Get it over with ... I've seen too much BS ... a male friend of mine went to meet Miss 5'6" blonde/blue eyed bombshell and when he got there she was 5'2" 200lbs and of another race ... OH MY GOD ... However, I will say that my good experiences way outweight my bad. I prefer it ... I just don't spend alot of time before the first meeting.
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| 12/2/2008 3:39:40 PM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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khrystaleroxx
Haltom City, TX
age: 38
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In almost every case here, each person is technically looking for their
"Dream Date" image. People are not being realistic here at all.
Excuse me, but everybody has some flaws...   
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| 12/2/2008 3:39:52 PM |
Dating sites... Hit and Run! |
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rocket000
Murrayville, GA
age: 50
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Interesting thread. I also believe that many people are rejected for the following reasons:
it's obvious they haven't read your profile.
They don't share "why" they think you might have something in common.
They don't honor or respect your parameters, ie: education, non smoker, shadow people who don't send a picture when they write, please don't wink(thankfully there is a feature to stop them), being vulgar.
Approaching someone who is out of your league. Again we should respect others but in romance most people seek someone of a similar background.
Stupid lines, ie: "you're hot, "wanna chat?" "Do you have a webcam" or putting their telephone # in the subject line. I read your profile, wanna chat.....They don't even have a description in their profile. These idiots don't warrant or deserve the courtesy of a reply.
I've said the following a hundred times: If a person can't manage to construct 3-4 grammatical sentences that tell me "what" he thinks we might have in common, I'm NOT interested. I'm not looking to play detective. Your picture and profile are the opportunity to tell your story. If it's too much effort for someone to read mine or write one of their own....I'm NOT interested.
Ex:
I noticed we both attended NYU and enjoy triathalons. If my profile is of interest, drop me a line. If not, best of luck in your search.
or
I see we're both CPA's. I volunteer at the soup kitchen and notice you volunteer for Meals on Wheels. If my profile is of interest, please drop me a line. If not, best of luck in your search.
or
I see you like tattoos and harleys. Will you be at bike week in Daytona?
Nobody needs to write a novel.
I've come to the conclusion that when someone can't pay enough attention to honor and respect someones boundries it is THEY who are being rude.
If someone approaches me in a courteous and respectful way, I always take a moment to acknowledge their email. If I don't see the potential, I still thank them for writing and wish luck in their search.
If dating and finding Mr. or Mrs Right were easy, these sites wouldn't exist.
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