| 12/7/2008 12:57:38 PM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
grammymarg
Cynthiana, KY
age: 62
|
You said it right. Bed hoppers, thats what most men on here are And they do make a person bitter.
|
| 12/7/2008 3:41:21 PM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
bry11ca
Irving, TX
age: 44
|
I always keep a can of Raid handy when dating widows . . . and look for hour glass tattoos on the belly. 
Also, check to see if the guy killed himself. It could be a bad sign. 
Angry divorcees make for rough sex. 
Stop trying to analyze people and come up with theories . . . none of them are correct.
Live your life, love selflessly, and accept love as a gift when it comes.
|
| 12/7/2008 3:42:35 PM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
redjulie65
Beloit, WI
age: 43
|
I'm sorry the OP has had the misfortune to meet only the bitter divorced women. My own divorce was very amicable and I am friendly with my ex. I don't feel bitter, and I definitely don't project any bitterness towards men in general when I date. If anything, all the post divorce mind games and bed hoppers is making me more bitter than my divorce did!
i agree i'm not biter at my x
|
| 12/7/2008 4:59:56 PM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
lakc
Houston, TX
age: 48
|
A friend (who I met on DH) told me that maybe I should list myself as single because sometimes widows are viewed as weak and can be played. I, for one, refuse to lie or mislead anyone about my status.
Judge each potential date as an individual and not in a group. Good Luck!
|
| 12/7/2008 5:11:51 PM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
fishenguy
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 49
|
A friend (who I met on DH) told me that maybe I should list myself as single because sometimes widows are viewed as weak and can be played. I, for one, refuse to lie or mislead anyone about my status.
Judge each potential date as an individual and not in a group. Good Luck!
None of the widows I know could be classified as weak. When you look at many of the reasons a person gets divorced....it takes a lot more strength and courage to stay with a person when you know they only have a short time left in this life.
|
| 12/7/2008 5:31:59 PM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
zwilling
Lawrenceville, GA
age: 47
|
Being the person you are talking about in this blog................I am not angry or mad or anything about my divorce. I walked out on an alcoholic husband who threatened to kill himself every month or so. I did not leave him because I did not love him. I left because of my sanity. I am over it. I have moved on. I do not want to jump into a relationship with someone I have not even talked to on the phone with. Come on, get real here. And one more thing, I could be considered a widow, because he did commit suicide. End of discussion.
I fully agree with you.I also was married to find out later an alcoholic.I did not leave because I did not love him but to keep my sanity and not loose everything I had.He is still alive but barely hanging in there.
|
| 12/7/2008 6:51:11 PM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
thunderbyrd
Flower Mound, TX
age: 47
|
I've been divorced (20 yr ago), and I've been widowed (19 month ago), and I can tell you -- Being divorced (when you have to leave a big jerk) makes you angry, makes you mistrustful, suspicious, and somewhat bitter. Being widowed makes you very, very, very sad, for awhile. But it doesn't leave you nearly as messed up and twisted inside as a bad divorce. I loved my husband dearly. We were inseparable, and just terribly, terribly happy together. When he died in my arms in ICU, well, that first year, I prayed to die myself. I was completely devastated. I had thoughts of "Wow -- I wish I had tried harder to make him understand how much I appreciated him", or "Wow, I wish I had tried harder to do more of the things that he wanted to do", or "Wow, I wish I had tried harder to make very moment count -- and not wasted so much time".
And yes, I agree with one post on here -- when you are widowed, some men ignorantly think that makes you "weak", and easy to "play". Depends on the situation. I was with my husband when he died. I fought like a wildcat to keep him alive, for 6 months. When he slept, I sat there in that hospital room and searched out every alternative therapy I could find for cancer on the internet, and tried as many of them as I could. His oncologist told me he'd never seen anyone fight as hard, or do as much as I had. And, when you know TRUE LOVE, when you experience something REAL, well, you won't fall for being "Played". I am heavily involved in a church widows group. These are the strongest, most loving, most character-filled, most loyal women I know.
Between marriages, I was involved in singles groups. I will tell you one thing, for the most part, divorced people are pretty darn mean and angry. And among divorced women, the competition is really fierce, and nasty. And, among the divorced men, the "player" factor is HUGE. I don't go to singles groups anymore, for that very reason. It's just a zoo.
I am looking for a relationship as special as the one I had with my dead husband, and I won't settle for less. When I find it, I intend to not waste a moment of happiness. I plan to try 150% to give, love, and make it work. I don't want to ever have to feel any regret if I loose someone I love, that I did not give it my best shot to make them as happy as they could possibly be.
And, if I date --- well. Honestly -- If I found 2 men, equally attractive, equal assets, and 1 was widowed, and 1 was divorced, well, I'd pick the widowed one, hands down. Because I know from experience, they will probably be a much emotionally healthier person.
|
| 12/8/2008 3:15:34 AM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
grammymarg
Cynthiana, KY
age: 62
|
you said it Thunderbyrd. Single groups and dances are horrible. I have been to them and watched the same people go home with different men and vice versa every week. That is not for me .And the guy who started this conversation about me,Yes it was about me, as my quote from my profile was used, can quit talking about me now. I would not give him a shot at anything. Just look at his profile. OOps he ereased it.
|
| 12/8/2008 3:19:09 AM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
noredneckhere
Sevierville, TN
age: 48
|
You said it right. Bed hoppers, thats what most men on here are And they do make a person bitter.
And most of the women are bitter old bats who are pissed off because men are not the way they want them to be, and as well, these bats do not have the power or intellect to change the men.
|
| 12/8/2008 3:45:30 AM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
grammymarg
Cynthiana, KY
age: 62
|
I said most Nor not all. I have some really nice men friends on here. And I treasure my friends. But you know there are a few bad ones.
|
| 12/8/2008 3:48:28 AM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
noredneckhere
Sevierville, TN
age: 48
|
"You said it right. Bed hoppers, thats what most men on here are And they do make a person bitter."
There's your quote. Right above. ^^^^^^^^^
I sure don't see the word "some" in there.
Bedhopping. Ha !. amazing how purtans from 400 yrs. ago still influence some people.
|
| 12/8/2008 3:55:28 AM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
grammymarg
Cynthiana, KY
age: 62
|
get me outa here, you all read what you want to in a sentence. this is not worth it. Good luck to each of you. I hope you find what youare looking for. I have.
|
| 12/8/2008 3:59:36 AM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
noredneckhere
Sevierville, TN
age: 48
|
Yes, go back to your crabby bat knitting circle.
|
| 12/8/2008 4:03:10 AM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
klassyklown
Bakersfield, CA
age: 40
|
Noredneck, you can hop in my bed, and I will knit you a USC beanie.
For the record, the minute someone tells me they are widowed, I think scammer. But, I know they all aren't. I know for sure whent they are widowed and lost a child.
|
| 12/8/2008 4:08:22 AM |
Dating divorced vs widowed |
|
noredneckhere
Sevierville, TN
age: 48
|
Noredneck, you can hop in my bed, and I will knit you a USC beanie.
For the record, the minute someone tells me they are widowed, I think scammer. But, I know they all aren't. I know for sure whent they are widowed and lost a child.
OK, I'll hop in and we'll have pity sex.
Since you no doubt would be DENIED permission to be in the crabby bat knitting circle. As you're not crabby enough.
I'll be you're sooooooooo sad !!!!!!
|