| 12/4/2008 4:48:59 PM |
help please please |
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rebelyes_angel
Iowa City, IA
age: 37
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Ok so I am a 37 year old female who is a mother of 4 children and will soon be divorced after almost 19 years of marriage b been apart 4 years now Ive been involved with a guy for 3 years after the seperation and now am single... I do lawncare and work with a bunch of guys I have since hooked up with aka friends with benefits with my boss who is our comapanies trainer not actually my bosss per say... but he has made it clear he is not into a relationship of sorts right now. I fell into him and told him so work is wor to both of us and that has never been an issue he wanted it never to be known according to him that noone know we were "involved?" in anyway cept friends and work but I am finding out he told a few people at work and another gy that liked me and asked him abot me that we were friends with benefits but not anymore.. I have done alot for this man including help him move cooked him dinner had him to my house when he was depressed and hung ot at a stripo club my reat....but he has been "seeking a girl on the internet and as i explained to him i was frustrated cz he said he doesnt want a relationship but prosues other women ,,,, I told him off and now am not taling with him as i feel i deserve better... since i have not been talking with him now at work he goes out of his way every day to make conversation and even texts me to see how I am... at work I vaguely answer him bt not on text or phone... I dont get any of this as I have never had a friend with benefits and dont know what to do... I do like him but am worth more then a casual encounter and being taken advantage of        
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| 12/4/2008 6:40:58 PM |
help please please |
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tryagaindj68
Evansville, IN
age: 40
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If you aren't happy with him, then he's not the guy for you. Follow your heart's advice, and keep looking. If it gets to where you dread working with him, you might be happier with a new job, too.
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| 12/4/2008 11:54:24 PM |
help please please |
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bzyb123
Pell City, AL
age: 62
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We all are worth more than what we usually settle for. I'm finding that out at an older age, after having settled several times. Can't give advice but wish you the best.
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| 12/5/2008 5:40:53 PM |
help please please |
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alicekathleen
Sacramento, CA
age: 63
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Time to move on. Make new friends. It could have been worse, so pat yourself on the back that you got out
of this before it got worse. Never, ever, get tangled up with a man who has another woman on the string or
on the back burner. Huh uh. All or nothing at all, because you are worth it!
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| 1/2/2009 12:05:33 AM |
help please please |
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ladeetsocute
Fair Lawn, NJ
age: 24
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Well i have to agree with all comments made...you are worth more than some guys lying to u and pursueing other women behind your back! it seems to me that he wants his cake and eat it too!! those are guys that u cut off and forget about...Move on and say to yourself it is what it is!! well good luck! and may god bless you! 
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| 1/2/2009 3:20:52 PM |
help please please |
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geekgirl963
Naples, FL
age: 45
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It is very hard to be friends with benefits with someone you work with and even more so if it is your boss. I had a fwb situation with a co worker years ago but after a couple of months we realized if we kept it up we would wreck our friendship so we stopped. We are now best of friends. Everyone thinks we should be a couple but no way would we go down that road again. Yes, we love each other just not romantically.
If he is bothering you be upfront and straight about it. Tell him if he wants a monogamus relationship with you great but if he just wants fwb and to chase other women not to call, text or talk to you unless it is work related. If he doesn't get the message then put it in writing keep a copy and when he won't stop take it to his boss. Or start looking for a new job.
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| 1/8/2009 8:57:43 PM |
help please please |
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chi_chi1
Montevideo, MN
age: 37
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Leave him and forget him. I think you are on the right track. Someone better will come along!
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| 1/11/2009 12:41:35 AM |
help please please |
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cherrycola
Western Australia
Australia
age: 43
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I totally understand how you feel and if you've read any of my threads you'll know I have been in the same position.
Now the advice I've been given and plan to take is you are worth more than this.
One thing I take a hard line on in when someone pisses me off I delete their number from my phone.
I actually find this theraputic as I am making a stand even if they are unaware of it.
It's me being strong for me.It may sound lame but I find it helps.
I've decided 2009 is a new year and 2008 mistakes can stay right there.
It sounds as if this guy is playing head games with you.
You don't want a relationship with a guy like that. He's not good enough.
Also if you want a friend with benefits, venture further away from your daily life and most of all don't fall for him.
There are guys who want to offer the whole package and those just offering sex want only that.
I am speaking to myself also.......I hope we can both take the advice.
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| 1/11/2009 1:02:27 AM |
help please please |
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luella2u
Snoqualmie, WA
age: 53
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I agree with alot of what others have said - you included. You already know what you need to do. We all support you. Don't sell yourself or your children too cheaply. What you do effects them. You are better than that...and so are they. We all know that children learn by example, so work on building your self-esteem. That will set a great example for your kids.
One more thing. I make it a practice to not socialize with co-workers. I know that's hard, but work is work and social time is separate.
I moved across state 6 months ago to take a job. Although I grew up 30 miles from where I'm now living, I don't know anyone in the area - except co-workers and neighbors. It's been 25 years since I lived over here. I work graveyard shifts and am on call, so work lots of hours. It seems like all I do is work, sleep, eat, clean house, do laundry and start all over again. I'm not one to go to bars alone and haven't made very many new aquaintenances. 2009 is the year that I plan to build a new social circle.
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