| 1/2/2009 1:52:04 PM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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eab2784
Burnsville, MN
31, joined Mar. 2008
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Always wondered this. What is the ideal standard for talking to someone before meeting in person?
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| 1/2/2009 2:08:43 PM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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westola
Milaca, MN
35, joined Jan. 2008
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I usually do a week!
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| 1/3/2009 7:43:50 AM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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eshadowgirl
Superior, WI
38, joined Oct. 2007
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Whenever your both comfortable with meeting. You dont want to rush it, especially if either person is nervous or shy. However, you never want to wait too long....or things get awkward.
I believe waiting too long to meet offline, sets the standard and visualization of what each person is like. You start getting a fantasy mentality of what the person is like that your meeting. Then when you DO meet, and if they dont match that fantasy...its quite a letdown.
So I agree....a week is sufficient. If they hesitate after that, move on...because obviously this person isn't ready to take things offline.
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| 1/3/2009 11:57:10 AM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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nerull
Minneapolis, MN
30, joined Sep. 2008
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Whenever your both comfortable with meeting. You dont want to rush it, especially if either person is nervous or shy. However, you never want to wait too long....or things get awkward.
I believe waiting too long to meet offline, sets the standard and visualization of what each person is like. You start getting a fantasy mentality of what the person is like that your meeting. Then when you DO meet, and if they dont match that fantasy...its quite a letdown.
So I agree....a week is sufficient. If they hesitate after that, move on...because obviously this person isn't ready to take things offline.
disagree with the last sentence, just because someone isnt dead set one meeting you immediatly after talkin to you does not mean they dont want to meet.Waiting for awhile helps to get the feel of someone, instead of talkin to someone for a week meeting them and then them end up being a complete psycho or recluse. Patience is a virtue I personally wont meet anyone who ive met on-line till im confident i got a feel for them and who they are and what there like, and what they look like. And if they arent willing to wait for a little while then they aint worth it, there just lookin for somethin else.
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| 1/3/2009 2:38:42 PM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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lisadomz
Burnsville, MN
43, joined May. 2008
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Well that depends on the person. I have meet people after just talking to them a few times and others a couple of week. Timing is important and if your schedules don't mesh for a while you'll just have to wait. 
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| 1/3/2009 2:48:40 PM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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sweetpie26
Saint Charles, MN
34, joined Apr. 2008
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The guy and I waited about 4 months. We met on this site. I should have waited about 4 years. He was not all he was cracked up to be. He spent the night and left the next day and I haven't heard from his since. (Thank God) He was like the size (height, weight) of a 12 year old. I am petite and I felt like a giant. It was weird. 
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| 1/3/2009 10:39:56 PM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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grumpeolmn
Rochester, MN
65, joined Oct. 2008
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Well that depends on the person. I have meet people after just talking to them a few times and others a couple of week. Timing is important and if your schedules don't mesh for a while you'll just have to wait. 
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| 1/3/2009 10:56:48 PM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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grumpeolmn
Rochester, MN
65, joined Oct. 2008
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Kiddo, ya don't have to love everyone, just be friends K so was this guy fun to be with if not compattable, before ya take him home K I've talked to a lot of women for a long time met em and found out they were not what I thought they were, hey I'm a free spirit, and you will not tame me down, I will do what I do, and hope if you are my lady, that you will enjoy what I do, oh well, since I'm not better homes and gardens, approved guess I will be single for a while So, saying that, ya share my bed after ya made the grade, a rule to follow ya gotta come out to play with me first then we'll talk bout bed time stories. didn't mean to offend love your attitude, but make your guy earn it as you'll have to earn it too well better get ready to eat my crow medium rare, with hot sauce as I'm sure I've stuck my foot in it again
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| 1/4/2009 12:09:06 AM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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lisadomz
Burnsville, MN
43, joined May. 2008
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The guy and I waited about 4 months. We met on this site. I should have waited about 4 years. He was not all he was cracked up to be. He spent the night and left the next day and I haven't heard from his since. (Thank God) He was like the size (height, weight) of a 12 year old. I am petite and I felt like a giant. It was weird.
I have one question for you....If you did not like him in person and did not find him attractive why did you let him spend the night?  You have to be careful when you meet guys that you have only talked to online. Meet in a mutual place, arrive in plenty of time to see them arrive and never leave before they do. Most of the time you can get a pretty good feel of a guy within the first few minutes of conversation in person. While the choices are yours who you let stay at your home, don't sell yourself short and realize it is okay to say you just want to remain friends after meeting someone in person.  Besides you don't want to end up as front page news for the wrong reasons 
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| 1/4/2009 12:47:27 AM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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artistheman
Arlington, MN
39, joined Mar. 2008
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Everyone is different. I think a week might not be long enough. I have met 2 people from online dating sites. Let's say it didn't go well. Should have waited longer. First girl was bipolar. Second had "the hurp." lol Where are the normal good girls??
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| 1/4/2009 9:27:23 AM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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sweetpie26
Saint Charles, MN
34, joined Apr. 2008
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I have one question for you....If you did not like him in person and did not find him attractive why did you let him spend the night? You have to be careful when you meet guys that you have only talked to online. Meet in a mutual place, arrive in plenty of time to see them arrive and never leave before they do. Most of the time you can get a pretty good feel of a guy within the first few minutes of conversation in person. While the choices are yours who you let stay at your home, don't sell yourself short and realize it is okay to say you just want to remain friends after meeting someone in person. Besides you don't want to end up as front page news for the wrong reasons
He was not a nutso or anything. I also had quite a few friends that live in my apartment complex that were well aware that he was there. I felt safe. I let him spend the night because he drove 3 hours and I'm just nice like that. He slept on my couch. And, last but not least, I wasn't scared of him, he was littler than me. Thanks for your concern though.
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| 1/4/2009 12:14:19 PM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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opticaljl
Staples, MN
74, joined Dec. 2008
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Gathering information on line is like a long distance job application, yes many people only put out the most favorable way they wish to appear. If I had the answers or paid attention to some very obious red flags, I wouldn't have made the wrong choise.
One bad expierence will not stop me from communicating, but I most certianly will use the expierence from now on. " FOOL ME ONCE, YOUR FAULT; FOOL ME TWICE, MY FAULT"
Meeting someone is not the same as oppening your home to them, for any reason especially when minor children are a part of your home. If someone drove 3 hours to meet and didn't make arangements ahead of time that included where they would sleep, I would question how much respect they had for you, or your home. Being generous is fine and comendable; bad decissions are always unwise, and should lead to better decissions in the futher.
If I sound like a father I am, I worked as a prison guard for 2 years before returning to MN, Ladies know in advance men in prison read phycology books to learn how to play women, for them it's easier than finding employment.
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| 1/4/2009 2:18:31 PM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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smoothupinya
Delano, MN
45, joined Dec. 2008
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week usually depends on the person you are conversing with at the time
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| 1/4/2009 2:41:48 PM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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mmrazma
New Richland, MN
62, joined Dec. 2008
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I want to get a feeling about how real the other person is first, before I will meet them. It may be several weeks or a week, it depends. I don't think there is a rule or set amount of time because eveyone, and ever situation, is different.
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| 1/5/2009 6:44:40 AM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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eshadowgirl
Superior, WI
38, joined Oct. 2007
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disagree with the last sentence, just because someone isnt dead set one meeting you immediatly after talkin to you does not mean they dont want to meet.Waiting for awhile helps to get the feel of someone, instead of talkin to someone for a week meeting them and then them end up being a complete psycho or recluse. Patience is a virtue I personally wont meet anyone who ive met on-line till im confident i got a feel for them and who they are and what there like, and what they look like. And if they arent willing to wait for a little while then they aint worth it, there just lookin for somethin else.
If they dont want to meet me after a week or so...and i express the desire to meet them...thats a red flag. Yeah, generally I'll keep talking to them....but unless theres an encouragement to get together...I move on to looking.
I'm not looking for an online relationship. I want something real life, and offline. Kinda hard to do when a guy your talking to forever, just doesnt care to meet.
Besides after a while..I feel that I wont meet HIS expectations if and when we do meet............if we keep talking online, and never actually make the next movie.
Patience isnt my strongest suit..LOL
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| 1/5/2009 10:47:29 PM |
How long talking to someone online before meeting? |
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grumpeolmn
Rochester, MN
65, joined Oct. 2008
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Well this Is a great topic , something I guess I know a thing or two about. Experiences: First Girl I met online was actually at Yahoo. I was 16 at the time her and I met each other online. We talked online for about 2 years before we met. The funny thing is that we both lived in the same town, and its not that big. It was strange that we had never seen each other before , different circles of friends will do that I guess. But anyways, We did decide to meet finally. And when we did, it was like Magic. It was like we knew each other already. That's Because we did. Never an awkward moment. It lasted for two years after that. But we Both were young and moved on to experience the world on our own. We still talk from time to time. We both have kids now from different people and are single parents. I ended up with my sons mother not to long after that and was together with her for six years.(didn't meet her online) It was great wile it lasted. Again both too young along with other un-mentionable things.lol) Anyways , then I dove into the dating world, with Myspace as my chosen Platform. Had conversations with about 50- 60 women, 8 of which I met in person. Most were about a week or so , some a few months.Slept with 2. One turned out to be way to busy for my lifestyle. And the other , well lets just say that she was just a little to freaky for me lol , Red head , need I say more? Can't learn without mistakes. Anyways what I've learned is that it depends on to many factors to just say a week or a month or a year. You really do have to be careful or you could be mislead. And yes you could get a fantasy built up about someone, and be really disappoint. Some women and men alike talk themselves up. But I guess the best result I've had dating online was my first and that was a period of two years online. Maybe I just got lucky .lol) Love is not to be rushed, and nor should it seem like work. If it just flows into your life with little effort , its probably worth it. Thats just my opinion. Sorry for the short story for those of you that actually read all of it. I hope it helped.
I think you've covered it nicely, there is no time limit, and conversation is everything, but after a while, I like to talk on the phone a voice tells me a lot, and I just don't type that fast anymore 
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