| 2/25/2009 7:28:00 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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halfbutnothole
Anaheim, CA
age: 51
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| 1. theyhave been hurt? |
| 2. can`t trust? |
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| 2/25/2009 7:48:07 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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jasmi
Latrobe, PA
age: 53
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Well, I think it is the thought of cleaning up after a man, and sometimes his children, to cook and to do all the cleaning - sometimes it is not so appealling!
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| 2/25/2009 7:57:03 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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followurdreams2
Ridgeland, MS
age: 41
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I'm not afraid of commitment. Just intend to commit myself to the right person.
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| 2/25/2009 8:04:16 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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mizzkandy
Inkster, MI
age: 28
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women are born to commit the men are the ones who have to be trained but once a woman has been hurt its hell for the next guy to get close
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| 2/25/2009 8:42:35 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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laf68
Folsom, LA
age: 41
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Not afraid of commitment but trust is an issue!
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| 2/25/2009 8:51:46 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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frogluver142
Maryville, TN
age: 55
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Trust would probably be my main concern,even though i know not all men are bad and neither are all women...Would take some time to get to know the person,and when i caught the first lie i would be gone!!!!
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| 2/25/2009 8:52:49 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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boushy
Noble, OK
age: 44
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Definitly not afraid of committment!! We just kinda like our man to be just as committed!! Hmmmm what a concept!! 
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| 2/25/2009 9:42:25 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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barbaraajo
Reston, VA
age: 53
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Both
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| 2/25/2009 9:44:05 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
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If a woman doesn't have ulterior motives, I don't think there's a problem with committing to someone if you earned her trust. Women want commitment and are open to it. Again, if they don't have ulterior motives.
That being said, some women play themselves out from something good because of a tendency to be too nit-picky or providing egg-shells for a man to walk on.
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| 2/25/2009 9:50:23 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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katrinasq
Pearcy, AR
age: 41
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I have never been afraid of commitment. You will find that the longer we are single, the more we have been burned and hurt, the longer it takes us to feel truly comfortable trusting another person. Trust is earned and takes time to establish. I will generally believe what a person tells me until it is broken, but trust takes a whole lot of believing without finding a lie to trust. Did that make any sense?
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| 2/25/2009 9:55:04 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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umbreon
Bismarck, ND
age: 34
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stop asking questions then you won't get lies in return? 
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| 2/25/2009 11:24:35 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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hunter12gauge
Bellaire, OH
age: 47
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Prolly just afraid of getting screwed again,and not in a good way. JMHO
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| 2/26/2009 12:06:00 AM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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ladyvirtue123
Magalia, CA
age: 54
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Varying reasons for each of us..for me, loss of freedom..I am enjoying being single and not having anyone to answer to right now..down the road, I may be ready to commit, just not right now..
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| 2/26/2009 12:33:19 AM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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ironmuscle
Santa Cruz, CA
age: 34
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women are born to commit the men are the ones who have to be trained but once a woman has been hurt its hell for the next guy to get close
Nah.......I think in American culture women are trained to committ and men are taught that it's in our nature to cheat...........How does that old rhyme go, "What are little girls made of? Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice" and boys are made of dirt. I think it's way more acceptable and encouraged for men to have a piece of tail on the side.
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| 2/26/2009 4:29:38 AM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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rugburns48
Fort Mohave, AZ
age: 50
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some just need to be commited to their own asylum
Some just like varity and like potatoe chips cant stop with just one
Some Dont even own a dress anymore, and like Heels with their pants
Some like both men and women.......
And all the rest are Just Fantastic! 
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| 2/26/2009 4:31:06 AM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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122750again
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 59
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I choose both Everytime I trust someone I end up getting hurt 
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| 2/26/2009 6:13:37 AM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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lady925
North Hollywood, CA
age: 58
|
Both.
I think that the concept of trusting someone right from the beginning is a major mistake. Each other has to "earn" the trust - by showing they can be trusted. The moment a lie is detected - no matter how little it is - that is a red flag. Why - because if someone must lie about something small - imagine what they will do with something big. Just starts to show their lack of integrity and respect for the other person. Unfortunately women much more often than men are socialized to trust more quickly in the relationship.
When a woman with good intentions gets burned - she feels used. After a woman has been hurt it's very difficult to trust someone to the point of being able to commit.
I can already imagine the kind of responses I'll get to my opinion.
It would be a great help if men in particular would finally recognize that ladies are wired differently emotionally, physically and intellectually than they are. I am quite sure most ladies have recognized this and try to keep that in mind much more so than men do to the inverese.
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| 2/26/2009 1:59:31 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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122750again
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 59
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Ok, after giving this alot more thought. It requires putting all your Eggs in one Basket. Many of us on here have done this, only to find. 1.The Basket has a Hole in it 2. The Eggs have hatched 3. Some of the Eggs have been Hard Boiled 4. Some of the Eggs have gone bad 5. Some of the Eggs are Scrambled 6. Theres been some other Hen sitting on our Eggs 7. Some Critter got in the Basket and destroyed all the Eggs
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| 2/26/2009 2:32:21 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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bry11ca
Irving, TX
age: 45
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Because she's seen my underwear drawer?
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| 2/26/2009 8:41:07 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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80sbabii
New York, NY
age: 23
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I CAN SAY 4 ME ITS A WHOLE COMMITMENT = LOCK DOWN THING I GET A LIL NERVOUS BCUZ I DONT LIKE RESTRAINTS AND LIMITS BEING PUT ON ME AND IT JUST A WHOLELOT OF CANT DO' WHENYOUR IN A COMMITED RELATIONSHIP SO WITH THAT BEIN SAID U SHOULDN'T GET N 1 UNLESS YOUR SURE YOUR READy
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| 2/26/2009 9:06:21 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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lilskye
Lawrence, MA
age: 52
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WOW! Thats gotta hurt. I've never made anyone walk on egg shells. I was hurt in the past but have gotten over it. Working on one self helps alot. Developing rules for your relationships has been key for me. And keeping committed to yourself and what you want and don't want in a relationship. It sounds like you have had high-maintenance woman in your life,
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| 2/26/2009 10:42:43 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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browneyz
San Diego, CA
age: 58
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Trust. maybe trust was given too quickly or easily before. Now you have to earn my trust. weeds out the losers very fast.
[Edited 2/26/2009 10:43:02 PM PST]
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| 2/26/2009 11:20:54 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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rocker_chic
Syracuse, NY
age: 40
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Not afraid to commit but there has to be that trust and that communication. If you do not have these 2 then you really don't have nothing and won't have nothing.
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| 2/27/2009 10:57:06 AM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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tater2009
Evansville, IN
age: 38
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women are not afraid of commitment, in most cases they are just leery of it because of all the bullshit and lies guys feed them. the commitment itself is actually what most women want, they are just hesitant about giving it to the wrong guy and take a chance on getting hurt or used. don't ever confuse fear for caution.
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| 2/28/2009 10:59:09 AM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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ccc0911
Los Angeles, CA
age: 48
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The same applies for men! Women that can't commit have been hurt or afraid of being hurt. But I also find that men don't communicate very well.
[Edited 2/28/2009 11:04:10 AM PST]
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| 2/28/2009 12:11:40 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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sarcasticmama
Altoona, PA
age: 45
|
Nah.......I think in American culture women are trained to committ and men are taught that it's in our nature to cheat...........How does that old rhyme go, "What are little girls made of? Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice" and boys are made of dirt. I think it's way more acceptable and encouraged for men to have a piece of tail on the side.
If that's the way society is in CA, I'm glad to be over on the east coast in PA. Men are encouraged to have a piece of tail on the side?? 
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| 2/28/2009 12:14:56 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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laf68
Folsom, LA
age: 41
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Because she's seen my underwear drawer?
Now that's a funny reason!!!!!!! I love it!!!!!!
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| 2/28/2009 12:46:32 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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fishenguy
Santa Rosa, CA
age: 51
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The same applies for men! Women that can't commit have been hurt or afraid of being hurt. But I also find that men don't communicate very well.
I hear this a lot. But I don't think it is gender specific. I have been told by many women that I communicate very well and it's the women I meet that can't communicate. Everyone has trouble trusting because they have been hurt. It makes sense to me. HOWEVER!, don't expect to find Mr. or Mrs. Right if you can't or won't learn how to trust again. I have met a few women that I really cared about. But because they couldn't get over the hurt from their last relationship it made no sense for me to try any harder. I mean....if you can't trust a person after being with them for 6 months and they haven't given you any reason not to trust them than you are the one that needs help. You have to learn how to break down those walls around your heart yourself, BEFORE you get involved with someone new.
If you can't.....you will just end up hurting the person that you can't trust. Why should anyone new get hurt because you can't get over your past?
[Edited 2/28/2009 12:48:53 PM PST]
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| 2/28/2009 1:38:14 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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ryn1
Cobourg, ON
age: 50
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You have to learn how to break down those walls around your heart yourself, BEFORE you get involved with someone new.
If you can't.....you will just end up hurting the person that you can't trust. Why should anyone new get hurt because you can't get over your past?
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| 2/28/2009 1:39:30 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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italianlady05
Omaha, NE
age: 54
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I'm not afraid..i'm just not gonna take any ole body ..jees i do have some self respect ya know
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| 2/28/2009 1:41:26 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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kylady3
Campbellsville, KY
age: 61
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I have been hurt and therefor I have a hard trusting ...
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| 2/28/2009 2:05:13 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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magtag
East York, ON
age: 43
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I can't say that I've ever heard of women in general being afraid of commitment. I know there are some women who are afraid, I've met a few and those particular women had much more deep issues than having been burned in past relationships. Those particular women have been afraid of commitment from their first date at age 16 or 17 right on through. Usually I've found it's out of a fear of being abandoned. If they never commit, they're never abandoned.
Generally though, I don't think that the majority of women are afraid of commitment, I think they actually seek it out and would really like to be in a committed relationship. However, there are slim pickins out there, especially as women get older, of available, decent men let alone those also looking for commitment.
Here on DH, there may be a higher percentage of women and men who aren't ready for commitment because it may be too soon following a break up, but I still think many are not afraid, they want it...just aren't ready for it quite yet.
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| 2/28/2009 2:29:38 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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genuinelady
New York, NY
age: 34
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Bring it onnnnnn!!! I am not!
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| 2/28/2009 2:45:21 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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brujacakes3
Jim Thorpe, PA
age: 38
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For the same reason men are......who wants the same flavor of ice cream everyday for the rest of your life?
Unless of course it's chocolate peanut butter. 
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| 2/28/2009 2:48:27 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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lifesajourney66
Frisco, TX
age: 43
|
I'm not afraid to commit. If you ask me men are terrified of it!! They run for the hills at the hint of it. Who among us doesn't have trust issues. If we've been burned in a relationship, we all have trust issues... we work through those trust issues as a relationship grows and evolves. It's part of the growth of a relationship.
Commitment...bring it on!
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| 2/28/2009 3:03:17 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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sunnygrl73
Columbia, SC
age: 37
|
Both.
I think that the concept of trusting someone right from the beginning is a major mistake. Each other has to "earn" the trust - by showing they can be trusted. The moment a lie is detected - no matter how little it is - that is a red flag. Why - because if someone must lie about something small - imagine what they will do with something big. Just starts to show their lack of integrity and respect for the other person. Unfortunately women much more often than men are socialized to trust more quickly in the relationship.
When a woman with good intentions gets burned - she feels used. After a woman has been hurt it's very difficult to trust someone to the point of being able to commit.
I can already imagine the kind of responses I'll get to my opinion.
It would be a great help if men in particular would finally recognize that ladies are wired differently emotionally, physically and intellectually than they are. I am quite sure most ladies have recognized this and try to keep that in mind much more so than men do to the inverese.
I think you may have nailed it, after a few times of getting burned you get a little gun shy.
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| 2/28/2009 3:33:37 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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kinkycapitalist
Atlanta, GA
age: 55
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Once they're committed, they need a lawyer to get out, that's why.
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| 2/28/2009 4:02:52 PM |
WHy are women so afraid of commitment? |
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msbevzie
Oregon, OH
age: 46
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<<<~~~~Certainly NOT afraid...I don't dwell on my past experiences...
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