| 3/28/2009 9:59:32 PM |
women and control |
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charlie460
Houston, TX
age: 48
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how many of you would like for your spouse to assume total control of the relationship. you would know his expectations because he was clear when setting guide lines.
i was told recently by a woman that the worst thing in her relationship was being told she disappointed her husband. she said he never was specific about what he expected then when she did something he didnt like he hurt her feelings. so whats worse a man that expects things to be structured and routine, or spontaneous reaction when disappointed?
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| 3/28/2009 10:03:20 PM |
women and control |
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hugsnlaughter
McKeesport, PA
age: 48 online now!
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I don't really think either should have total control, it must be both parties.
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| 3/28/2009 10:06:47 PM |
women and control |
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katrinasq
Mena, AR
age: 40
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What women need is communication, same as men. If we don't tell one another what our wants, needs, and expectations are, how can we possibly be expected to fulfill them or have a chance to try?
I don't look for one or the other to have more control in a partnership.
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| 3/28/2009 10:12:27 PM |
women and control |
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charlie460
Houston, TX
age: 48
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I don't really think either should have total control, it must be both parties.
then what happens when life decisions are not agreed upon. one is more practical in finance the other in social skills. if there are no standards for leadership who gets there way?
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| 3/28/2009 11:22:54 PM |
women and control |
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charlie460
Houston, TX
age: 48
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What women need is communication, same as men. If we don't tell one another what our wants, needs, and expectations are, how can we possibly be expected to fulfill them or have a chance to try?
I don't look for one or the other to have more control in a partnership.
communication?...this thread died after 2 post...
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| 3/29/2009 1:11:02 AM |
women and control |
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lillibet
New South Wales
Australia
age: 51
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On reading your post for the third time a heres what stands out Expectations,Total Control,Disappointed her husband, Expect nothing and you will not be disappointed,,, you have a right to be in control of yourself but no right to try and control others,,,,and as for her husband being disappointed was he himself perfect??????
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| 3/29/2009 5:54:54 AM |
women and control |
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happylisa
Broken Arrow, OK
age: 43
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how many of you would like for your spouse to assume total control of the relationship. you would know his expectations because he was clear when setting guide lines.
i was told recently by a woman that the worst thing in her relationship was being told she disappointed her husband. she said he never was specific about what he expected then when she did something he didnt like he hurt her feelings. so whats worse a man that expects things to be structured and routine, or spontaneous reaction when disappointed?
That's funny that you would bring this up. One of the discussions i had when i got into my latest relationship is exactly who would be the dominant one in the relationship. He was shocked when I said that i'd like him to be but i think he is having fun with it. He keeps asking me again if i truly want that and cant seem to grasp that i could give up control to him. His past relationship was the total opposite and i think tht is why he is at a loss. I like my man to be the strong one and the one whom can make the toughest decisions on what to do in a crisis. That is so very attractive to me. Granted I dont like orders to be barked at me either. There's always a middle ground in the end.
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| 3/29/2009 5:59:57 AM |
women and control |
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ic2beyurs2
Kingman, AZ
age: 48
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That's funny that you would bring this up. One of the discussions i had when i got into my latest relationship is exactly who would be the dominant one in the relationship. He was shocked when I said that i'd like him to be but i think he is having fun with it. He keeps asking me again if i truly want that and cant seem to grasp that i could give up control to him. His past relationship was the total opposite and i think tht is why he is at a loss. I like my man to be the strong one and the one whom can make the toughest decisions on what to do in a crisis. That is so very attractive to me. Granted I dont like orders to be barked at me either. There's always a middle ground in the end.
See guys all the good ones are already taken! 
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| 3/29/2009 6:00:24 AM |
women and control |
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goodgato
Fort Lauderdale, FL
age: 44
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It's not about either party having total control. It's all about both parties being able to communicate what they want/expect/need from the other, and being able to resolve conflicts as they arise and grow together, bringing out the best in each other along the way. It's a partnership, a team effort. JMO
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| 3/29/2009 6:01:41 AM |
women and control |
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awakeing
Walled Lake, MI
age: 36
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"Control" is a subjective term.
Anything beside "self control" is just an illusion.
The true term is shared responsibility.
It really takes two people each doing part of the task
to make a relationship "flow".
If one person is in charge of everything there is no
real relationship.
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| 3/29/2009 8:11:41 AM |
women and control |
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mercymecookie
Guntersville, AL
age: 55
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I belief in a relationship, each partner has their own strengths and weaknesses, and the one that is the strongest in a specific area shood take the lead. The word "control", is subjective and can be misleading. If one accepts it's meaning as dominating with a forceful hand, I would get out of the relationship so fast he wouldn't know what happened. But, if the control was handled with love and respect, I would gladly bow to his leading.
Personally, I want the man to show his strength and take the lead. I find that very attractive.
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| 3/29/2009 8:18:19 AM |
women and control |
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photodude111
Sedona, AZ
age: 45
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People become control freaks because they have been hurt and sometimes don't want to repeat that behavior. It's called a relationship for a reason, that means that you relate to each other. Communication is the key, we are not mind readers, someone says buy me a blue shirt, most would gab a dark blue, i might look for an indigo or navy or sky blue.
Relationships are teh same way, a lot end because of misunderstandings. When indoubt talk about it.
Karl
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| 3/29/2009 8:20:46 AM |
women and control |
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safetyglrl
Syracuse, UT
age: 49
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Talk about it. I like that. So many people clam up tho and won't. What do you do then?
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| 3/29/2009 8:56:47 AM |
women and control |
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eimi
Jacksonville, FL
age: 36
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A man is supposed to lead and gently guide not control. 
Communication on the outset should set the boundaries and expectations at the beginning by both parties.
No man could control me but a good man can gently guide or lead and I will follow and adore him.  
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| 3/29/2009 9:05:23 AM |
women and control |
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mercymecookie
Guntersville, AL
age: 55
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 I agree. I would totally adore a man that could lead and guide in that manner. Also agree, communication is the key. Men and women think different. Sometimes communication gets warped, when there is a misunderstanding. I tend to be descriptive when I communicate. Details are important. Men want and expect black and white answers in as few words as possible. I end up sitting there looking stupid and hurt. How can you put all the emotion and details into one or two words?!
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