| 11/12/2007 9:39:28 AM |
Letting go of an old love |
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winesong
Bend, OR
age: 59
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In order to give you meaningful thoughts or help on resolution, I feel that we might need a bit more information from you. Has it been 3 months, 6 months, or a year? Were you married, sig other for a LONG TIME? Short term that was HOT?
Did he leave you for another woman? Is the door really sealed with him on the other side? Do you have children with him?
All of these questions would allow us to give you a more thoughtful reply. Do you live in a small town, and see his car often? Does he work at a place you frequent?
Have you read or watched THE SECRET? GOOGLE for it if you have not owned it.
Have you subscribed to www.IVILLAGE.com and in particular their health and wellness section? I subscribe to www.BELIEF NET.com, and www.TUT.com
TUT stands for Totally Unique Thoughts. You get a daily motivational short thought...
for me sometimes it is a day at a time! If I can just focus on today, not Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or my birthday or the dancing and parties that couples go to..that I feel excluded from now...
This is painful for most of us...moving on. Some can do it much quicker. It depends on your age, the amount of social networking you have in place at your home town, or clubs, family to do things with. Going to a movie by yourself is NO FUN!!!
Get some self help...any way you can. Get some massages, and take yourself out!
We will most likely never meet anyone in our living room...from what I have read on DHU, I may not meet anyone in my office either...
Please share what you feel you can, and give us back how you are doing. Know that the people on here seem to develop friendships. That is part of it!!
Winesong
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| 11/12/2007 11:16:29 AM |
Letting go of an old love |
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sorprano
Wayne, NJ
age: 55
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Hi, everyone. I'm new here. Have read several posts to several different forums and decided I'd wade in. Here goes....
I'm trying to move on with my life, get back into the dating world and still can't let go of an old love. Anyone have a similar struggle?
life is short enough--try to mingle into new groups--why not go to dances since everyone there is looking to dance or try to dance--and the benefit of dancing is perhaps meeting someone with a common interest in a questions--hey if that didn't work ask another guy to dance and if they said no--then what the hell is he doing there anyhow...if dancing is out of the question or done that --if that sucks go to a comedy club with a girl friend or get to a book store and read some books on the subject with a cup of coffee at your side---you never know who sits next to you...or you have this site or others too...
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| 11/12/2007 11:52:43 AM |
Letting go of an old love |
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all_me
Las Vegas, NV
age: 36
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Pamela,
It is always hard to move on from someone you truely love, no matter what the reason for the end of the relationship. My only advice from my own experiance. if he was the right one for you it would have worked out.... Acceptance of that is important. I wouldn't try to jump into another relationship if you are still getting over him, but talking like this is a great start. Making new friends, dating but maybe nothing serious for a while.... Just remember time heals all wounds......  As the old saying goes: THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!! Stay Cool girlfriend!!!!! 
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| 11/12/2007 4:30:30 PM |
Letting go of an old love |
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pamela0324
Pasadena, MD
age: 53
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Thanks, everyone.
Its been many (5) years since my old love and I were together. I'm better than I was after the breakup. I have dated during the interim and was looking forward in my life. But last fall, after a relationship ended, my old love and I started commmunicating online. While its fun, he has made it clear that's all there is. Friends.
So, I have to find the strength to accept that and move forward with my life.
But I love the friendly support I have gotten here. There really are some great people here and I hope to make some friends. Thank you all for your support. 
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| 11/12/2007 5:00:23 PM |
Letting go of an old love |
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trinagirl
Riverdale, NJ
age: 47
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But last fall, after a relationship ended, my old love and I started commmunicating online. While its fun, he has made it clear that's all there is. Friends.
thats what makes it alot tuffer, pamela. wouldnt recommend contact with an ex if there are leftover feelings. gives hope that will be something more. since he made it clear that its just friends, gonna be let down by the online going nowhere and will stay stuck by thinking about him alot. to move on, have to break that addiction. same as cigs or alcohol. dont go back. IMO, let go of the online chats...
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| 11/12/2007 11:53:00 PM |
Letting go of an old love |
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qazyguy
Rockville, MD
age: 50
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I have always found that the best cure for an old lover is a new one.
JIM
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| 11/13/2007 8:18:59 AM |
Letting go of an old love |
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spanishhunk83
Greensboro, NC
age: 23
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well i don't believe its a matter of letting go. When u love someone its something that stays with u always. The only difference is that when u let that person go your letting them grow apart from you. It doesn't necessarily mean that your love just fades into nothingness. Just more of a happy memory or fondness toward that person who meant so much. I still love my ex who i still love and just can't forget. If u have to let go of that other person, then it means that person did not feel that strongly about you or they may have been uncertain of the feeling that they felt for u. The way i see it. If that person is confuse or uncertain then let them go. If they come back then they are yours to keep. 
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| 11/13/2007 8:39:19 AM |
Letting go of an old love |
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morningangel50
Sault Ste Marie, ON
age: 50
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Its been three years since my divoced and have not dated since the break up and the divorce reason being was hurt very badly. I have a trust issue with men and would love to have suggestion as how do I get to trust them again . Is getting lonely but am shy so its hard for me to come to that special person first he would have to come to me so open to any suggestions as to how I can learn to trust again.
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| 11/13/2007 9:16:34 AM |
Letting go of an old love |
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mystical012
Jupiter, FL
age: 54 online now!
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Hi Pamela, I am in the same boat in a sense. My husband passed away but it's still a form of death that you're experiencing--death of a relationship. I found that filling my time with positive things has helped. I do volunteer work in my spare time and that has helped tremendously. I am helping others and helping myself at the same time. You have to acknowledge that you are where you need to be at this time in your life. Doors shut, others open in order for you to grow. No relationship last forever, it's how you deal with the loss that's important. Consider this as a time of revitalization--a time of renewal, of growth, of change in your life--and make the most of it. I lost the love of my life and lost our businesses at the same time. I still feel lost and hurt by all of this, but everyday I find something to be grateful for and I write it down. I make a conscious effort to move forward everyday--it's not easy but I work at being happy. Life is beautiful! I workout several times a week, I've started a new business selling self defense products online, and most importantly, I work on developing my relationship with our Creator. I concentrate on what I want for my life, not where I am. I see myself as being happy and fulfilled because that's how I want to be. Work on changing the way you think and feel about yourself and your life will change. I've come a long way in a little more than a year. I still have much to do. Keep your spirits up, think positive about what you want your life to be like. Write down goals and work towards them; and don't forget to always lend a helping hand to those less fortunate than you. There is always someone who has it harder in life and when you see this, it is much easier to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. You'll find yourself smiling in spite of your troubles. Don't waste anymore time crying about what might have been. Accept what is and begin to enjoy your journey. Life is amazing! Full of interesting people and experiences. Just open your mind to the possibilities. Good luck to you and God bless you.
[Edited 11/13/2007 9:39:36 AM]
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| 11/13/2007 9:44:29 AM |
Letting go of an old love |
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chipper1964
Wisconsin Rapids, WI
age: 43
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mystic...sorry to hear of your loss.
I agree with most of the posts here...When I was married I felt alone, but being divorced is a different type of loneliness. I think I let go alot easier because my marriage had been dieing for years. I do more with my freinds, find new hobbies, find that the evenings are harder for me to keep busy. You will always have memories....good bad or otherwise and what you choose to do with them will help determine how you heal.
Good luck
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| 11/13/2007 5:29:33 PM |
Letting go of an old love |
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lovlee22
Exeter, MO
age: 22
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Im right along with you and I hate it!!! Its like you meet so many cool people but no matter what you do or how sweet they are that one person is the only thing on your mind and it sucks!!! My last relationship lasted 5 years and that was a year ago. I believe in time things will be better for the both of us
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| 11/13/2007 5:56:53 PM |
Letting go of an old love |
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highway50
Richlands, NC
age: 51
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I have been divorced for a year now and I have found out that if you look for something it must be lost . Can it be found ? NO ! not if you don't know where you lost it . Love is a many slpendid thing and it either lives or dies . Either by death or by divorce . And if you let someone else find your heart then nothing was ever lost .
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| 11/13/2007 6:07:33 PM |
Letting go of an old love |
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danieller
Keller, TX
age: 32
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Hi Everyone! I was married for 14 years and was with him 16 years. I have only been with this person... It has been 1 1/2 since my big D day. I do have 2 great kids with him. He left me for a 19 year old that he worked with. Yes the door is closed forever. They moved 2 streets down from me and I have to see him all the time because he is an ASS and thinks that it funny.
I'm here to move on I hope because I'm not meeting anyone... I dont go to bars and dont have any single friends. I hate this life that I'm in because I have never had to do this dating thing and it sucks....
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| 11/13/2007 7:52:51 PM |
Letting go of an old love |
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laughinisgood
Mesa, AZ
age: 63
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mystica, you have wowed me!!!I believe we are all playing out the plan for our life! Remember Pamela---"One of God's greatest blessings is unanswered prayer"
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