Miami Beach, FL

4/1/2009 10:30:04 AM
mechsmoto Miami Beach, FL 36, joined Jan. 2009	Everyone know that things are usually perfect for the first six months. But, why do things always take a turn for the worst afterwards?? Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
4/1/2009 10:30:48 AM	Miami Beach, FL
afreak4u Henderson, NV 25, joined Sep. 2008	Shiiiiit, you mean the first few weeks.
4/1/2009 10:57:12 AM	Miami Beach, FL
edgeofsandias Placitas, NM 47, joined Jan. 2009	They evolve. I personally think it starts about the time when you start farting in front of each other.
4/1/2009 10:58:58 AM	Miami Beach, FL
ic2beyurs2 Kingman, AZ 54, joined Mar. 2009	when the honeymoon ends thats when you find out you did not take the time to pic someone compatable to begin with And instead just went for the sex first!
4/1/2009 11:03:02 AM	Miami Beach, FL
macjim Colorado Springs, CO 69, joined Apr. 2008	The "lust" hormones go sky high at first, but then die down over time and you begin to see the person more clearly for who they really are through more rational eyes/feelings. It usually takes me a few years to get to this point. This is a good argument to wait before getting too involved, but nobody waits these days...
4/1/2009 4:12:31 PM	Miami Beach, FL
lilmissala1957 Hartselle, AL 58, joined Dec. 2008	Unfortunately what I see happen and we all do it...we put our very best foot forward for the capture. Then once we capture them we start relaxing and letting the real us come out. I am no longer playing that kind of game...what you see is what you get. I am me! I love me! So why would I try to be something I am not?
4/1/2009 4:28:25 PM	Miami Beach, FL
marqeye Kent, OH 39, joined Aug. 2008	All I have read is your thread topic, I will say emotions for $1,000.00
4/1/2009 4:37:02 PM	Miami Beach, FL
barbaraajo Reston, VA 58, joined Jul. 2008
4/1/2009 4:39:24 PM	Miami Beach, FL
beu24 Virginia Beach, VA 56, joined May. 2008	People tend to let their guards down to quick.
4/1/2009 5:25:50 PM	Miami Beach, FL
007shark Crystal River, FL 38, joined Aug. 2008	Someone else hit it on the head, the hormones come back down. It is not a chase anymore and the games with it. The newness has wore off. This is why you have to ask yourself in the beginning stages if you are compatible with this person and want to invest in the long haul or cut bait and run. The relationships will always change from the first few months. That should had been a Newton law.
4/1/2009 5:55:23 PM	Miami Beach, FL
mdd3rd Miamisburg, OH 43, joined Mar. 2009	most of the posts on this thread are correct, it is very tough not to get too emotional in the beginning , especially if the physical chemistry is strong. combined with how long its been since your last relationship, if you are on the rebound, that can lead to irrational feelings, and if its been a year or more since your last relationship, that can lead to insecurity issues wich lead to stronger emotions than normal, that will cloud your judgement, i simply try to be on an even keel, and resist making any commitments too soon, however, it is a fine line you have to walk, too much passion, you burn out fast, not enough , maybe your soulmate gets away. i guess just use common sense and make sure that your core values are close, and your core needs are close. then when that physical chemistry is there, well, then you just might jump that first few months hurdle.then guess what? you have to constantly work and communicate each other needs, to make each other happy. but thats what we all want, right?
4/1/2009 5:59:34 PM	Miami Beach, FL
sandmolder Bellefontaine, OH 41, joined Nov. 2008	same reason you quit playing with the new toys 2 months after christmas.
4/1/2009 6:02:57 PM	Miami Beach, FL
canon55 Port Huron, MI 61, joined Apr. 2008	same answer as the previous thread
4/1/2009 6:22:28 PM	Miami Beach, FL
patricia51 Rochester, NY 57, joined Mar. 2009	Relationships change because life always seems to get in the way. You first are really attracted to the person and everyday seems special, than all the reponsibiliies of life seem to creep in and you find yourself with less and less time to connect with the other person. After that you start asking yourself what am I doing here? Do I even know this person?
4/1/2009 6:27:19 PM	Miami Beach, FL
selfdestruction Winchester, CA 46, joined Feb. 2009	People spend too much energy trying to put on a front in the beginning and then the masks come off..... Best to just be yourself from the beginning, thus increasing your chances of finding the one who will actually last a life time.
4/1/2009 6:32:17 PM	Miami Beach, FL
otdrman1 Grantsburg, WI 44, joined Mar. 2009	Quote from selfdestruction: People spend too much energy trying to put on a front in the beginning and then the masks come off..... Best to just be yourself from the beginning, thus increasing your chances of finding the one who will actually last a life time. i agree with you also
4/1/2009 6:46:41 PM	Miami Beach, FL
wileyguy Wilkes Barre, PA 44, joined Apr. 2007	Quote from mechsmoto: Everyone know that things are usually perfect for the first six months. But, why do things always take a turn for the worst afterwards?? usually by then you've met their family
4/1/2009 6:54:35 PM	Miami Beach, FL
th6231 Point Pleasant Beach, NJ 68, joined Jul. 2007	They don't always go from good to bad--they CAN go from good to better---in fact all relationships should be getting better--day by day. It takes respect--honesty--communications--maturity--tolerance--integrity and shared common values to make a relationship grow stronger. I bet you have strong friendships that have lasted for years---guys you hang with and enjoy sports or work or hobbies--fishing--hunting--cars---whatever. You get along with them because you respect each other--have fun--help each other--listen to each other---so why can't you do it with a woman?? Why does it go bad with a woman?? It happens because BOTh of you allow it to go bad. Everything in your life is UP TO YOU--YOU allow the circumstances in your life--no one does anything to you unless you allow it to happen.
4/1/2009 7:37:36 PM	Miami Beach, FL
ky_brown_eyes Henderson, KY 74, joined Jan. 2009	Quote from selfdestruction: People spend too much energy trying to put on a front in the beginning and then the masks come off..... Best to just be yourself from the beginning, thus increasing your chances of finding the one who will actually last a life time. You're absolutely right!! I figured that out. My best to you!!
4/1/2009 7:38:26 PM	Miami Beach, FL
selfdestruction Winchester, CA 46, joined Feb. 2009	Quote from ky_brown_eyes: You're absolutely right!! I figured that out. My best to you!! Thank You! Best wishes to you too.....
4/1/2009 8:25:00 PM	Miami Beach, FL
ladyog Erlanger, KY 59, joined Feb. 2009 online now!	People become more comfortable with each other..... and the real person you are with comes out...
4/1/2009 9:24:23 PM	Miami Beach, FL
fungirl98 Clermont, FL 35, joined Nov. 2008	Its because in the first few months you are happy to see that person. You are trying to get to know that person now after a few months of knowing someone its turns to worse sometimes. It means that you know about their habbits. You know what they like and don't like to do and sometimes its not the same as to what u like to do. You want it one way and they want it another. You sometimes spend to much time together and that is why it changes after a few months.
4/1/2009 9:26:28 PM	Miami Beach, FL
kkking4u Wichita, KS 42, joined Feb. 2009	Quote from mechsmoto: Everyone know that things are usually perfect for the first six months. But, why do things always take a turn for the worst afterwards?? Lack of maturity and patience which is needed for the hard times my friend.
4/1/2009 9:43:57 PM	Miami Beach, FL
thebestman Atlanta, GA 41, joined Dec. 2006	Quote from mechsmoto: Everyone know that things are usually perfect for the first six months. But, why do things always take a turn for the worst afterwards?? If you pay attention closely, you really begin to see the true character after about the 2nd or 3rd month. By the 3rd month you would have had a few debates, reality of the real world of dating not fairy tale sets in by this time, and a person really can't hold out that long. If a couple can make it past the 3rd month, it gets better unless some unexpected drama etc... happens. You can learn a lot within the first month. I don't have a rule, but usually if a woman gets past the third month with me, she's pretty much in there and will be my girlfriend. Again, this isn't a rule, just a natural gauge sort of speak. Hell, some can't even get past the first month without showing their true negative colors. Remember anyone can be happy and rosy as long as things are smooth and they get their way etc. etc. Everything will not have "YES" attached to it. You see true colors also when a person hears the word NO. See how they respond. See how they respond and how they react in a debate or argument. See how they act when something doesn't go their way. See how they act under adversity. THESE ARE THE TRUE SIGNS of behavior. Pretty much, if they fail a one, a couple, or a few of these and more similar situations, this only marks a prelude of what will be worse down the road.
4/1/2009 10:49:29 PM	Miami Beach, FL
susansheart839 Port Saint Lucie, FL 67, joined Mar. 2008	Quote from th6231: They don't always go from good to bad--they CAN go from good to better---in fact all relationships should be getting better--day by day. It takes respect--honesty--communications--maturity--tolerance--integrity and shared common values to make a relationship grow stronger. I bet you have strong friendships that have lasted for years---guys you hang with and enjoy sports or work or hobbies--fishing--hunting--cars---whatever. You get along with them because you respect each other--have fun--help each other--listen to each other---so why can't you do it with a woman?? Why does it go bad with a woman?? It happens because BOTh of you allow it to go bad. Everything in your life is UP TO YOU--YOU allow the circumstances in your life--no one does anything to you unless you allow it to happen. Great answer!! It's called taking responsibility for your actions or inactions. You have given me some sage advice over the past few months, TH, and I actually took it to heart and it has worked. My life is so much more serene since I quit the blame/victim game. My favorite saying these days? "It is what it is." Thank you! A good relationship grows over the months and years, a good relationship knows and respects each other's boundaries and a good relationhip never hurts.
4/1/2009 11:08:01 PM	Miami Beach, FL
rusvera North Hollywood, CA 41, joined Dec. 2008	Because people are lazy to use their imagination and creativity to make time spending together interesting, it's not spicy anymore and became boring. I am not saying to do it everyday but we need some splashes in our life. Please do not seat and wait for it, plan something unusual, surprise each other
4/1/2009 11:51:37 PM	Miami Beach, FL
txbelle11 Houston, TX 34, joined Nov. 2008	It always changes. I love when people say, but I haven't changed! Yes, we all do, but if you don't grow with that person....it's over. Months, try years, five years later when you can't even see what you saw in the beginning, not good. When it is right, it will be right, everything will fall into place.
4/2/2009 12:07:35 AM	Miami Beach, FL
jasmi Latrobe, PA 58, joined Jun. 2008	Because I think we start out looking only at the positive qualities of a person, or at least that is what we focus on. As we become more familiar to each other, then we start to see everything that we either weren't noticing or chose to ignore before.
4/2/2009 12:19:33 AM	Miami Beach, FL
lakelandglam Lakeland, FL 29, joined Mar. 2009	Because You learn what a ???? is really aboutI tell you what a person talks a good game.But when you tell or ask them to put it in action its totaly different.It scary because when you really get to know the person and start caring they act different.I have been through it
4/2/2009 5:21:20 AM	Miami Beach, FL
mistykel New South Wales Australia 42, joined Jan. 2008	In the beginning we listen to words hoping the actions follow when they dont then we realise they are human and not our superhero....... I like superheros
4/2/2009 6:15:53 AM	Miami Beach, FL
midnightgambler Memphis, TN 38, joined Nov. 2008	Thinking back on one relationship, it didn't seem to. But usually they do change mighty quickly!
4/2/2009 11:49:43 AM	Miami Beach, FL
smilin4adream Verona, PA 50, joined Mar. 2009	Communication. Always the first to go.
4/2/2009 12:36:11 PM	Miami Beach, FL
swfseekingswm Durant, OK 42, joined Jan. 2009	because one or both of you weren't genuine in the beginning
4/2/2009 1:17:15 PM	Miami Beach, FL
hsprin Savannah, MO 39, joined Jan. 2009	Because for most, in it is easy in the beginning to bs the other person. You can only be something your not for so long. ANd everybodys shining colors come out at some point. This is not always the case, sometimes, people just aren't meant to be together, that is what dating is for, to figure out if you can stand that person for the rest of your life. The little things start to come out and show and you find out things about each other and the new exciting most likely has worn off. Now if you were meant to be with that person, this wouldn't happen, so I guess feel lucky.
4/5/2009 3:57:20 PM	Miami Beach, FL
tryagaindj68 Evansville, IN 47, joined Aug. 2008	Early on, the relationship is very important to both of you, so you both do whatever it takes to protect it. Then, as time goes by, one or both of you feels like you're investing more time, money, or energy in the relationship than the other one is, so you pull back, hoping to regain that equilibrium you had early on when you were both giving it your all. Sadly, when you're not working together to make the relationship stronger, it dies. Even then, there is no equilibrium, as the breakup hurts one of you WAY more than it does the other.
4/6/2009 9:43:57 PM	Miami Beach, FL
flame_s Raleigh, NC 30, joined Jan. 2009	Relationships dont change, people do..If u think of relationships dat last its because the guy/ girl dont see there partners the same way like in the beginning..Of course u dont see peoples negative sides until later on in the relationship..A good tip is to work as hard to keep him/ her just as hard as u worked to get her/him
4/6/2009 11:03:05 PM	Miami Beach, FL
fenugreek Minneapolis, MN 63, joined Mar. 2009	Quote from mechsmoto: Everyone know that things are usually perfect for the first six months. But, why do things always take a turn for the worst afterwards?? “Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
4/6/2009 11:31:44 PM	Miami Beach, FL
longlastingwife Grand Rapids, MI 41, joined Feb. 2009	some people can hold interest only so long and really that's just enough time to see what they can get out of a person
4/6/2009 11:35:33 PM	Miami Beach, FL
in_doubtalishis Beaumont, CA 40, joined Oct. 2008	Because after 6 months the comfort comes out and so does the real person. You can only hold up an act for so long and at some point the real you is gonna rear its ugly head and the other person is like hell no. So this is why its always best to be the real you flaws and all. I have many flaws and many good points to me and I need a man who accepts and loves me for everything that I am and am not.
4/6/2009 11:54:50 PM	Miami Beach, FL
justmysay Wichita, KS 45, joined Mar. 2009	Seems that things become too serious... I know I just wanna have some fun but with that I also want to know where I stand. How can one give of themselves if they don't know where they stand... and even when they do sometimes it's not possible to give of one's self, depending on where they stand, sometimes it make you hold back.....confused yet, for few of us I'm sure you understand... For each "relationship" the circumstances and your emotional state come into play and well you both can do your best to get around them but if one stops then here comes the down fall, but if both work through them (humor, honesty and communication) and make things go to their advantage here comes the relationship that may ultimately work.... ... Depends on the ppl involved.... Of course this is JustMySay....
4/7/2009 12:16:56 AM	Miami Beach, FL
goddess56 Tulsa, OK 65, joined Jun. 2006	Probably because the first few months, you're still in the "infatuation" stage. Regardless of how old we are, that puppy love syndrome still rears its cute little head, and we look into those big puppy dog eyes, and we're smitten. But as the puppy matures, so does our relationship. If you're not into a mature love, a giving, nurturing, caring, person-for-all-seasons type of love, then that relationship is going to suffer. You're going to see that the puppy has all kinds of "dog" ways which may or may not be acceptable. If you want a grown-up love, you have to get past the puppy love stage and understand that the other person is a human being, just like you are, and is going to exhibit habits and behaviors that may not always be to your liking, just as you're going to exhibit habits and behaviors that may not always be to his/her liking. You then have to decide if those behaviors are deal breakers, or an issue for compromise and acceptance.
4/7/2009 12:23:17 AM	Miami Beach, FL
leadman_ Lake Dallas, TX 53, joined Mar. 2009	Only a few months? My experience is things usually suck after 3 years
4/7/2009 7:27:46 AM	Miami Beach, FL
gloriaschild Atlanta, GA 60, joined Jul. 2008	The newness wears off.
4/7/2009 7:40:19 AM	Miami Beach, FL
definitely_ltr Stroudsburg, PA 53, joined Sep. 2008	Because most people go in blind, full of lust and excitement of the newness, and don't take the TIME to truly get to know the other person. IF you take the TIME to see them for who and what they truly are like and you STILL want to be with them, then there is a better chance that the relationshiop will continue once the initial WOW! WHAM! is over!
4/7/2009 8:18:56 AM	Miami Beach, FL
libraman00 Snow Camp, NC 51, joined Apr. 2008	same reason when you buy something new after awhile it gets old and then you throw it away in a realtionbship you breakup, but in a marriage you make the most of it until things go all to _ _ _ _ then you throw it away.
4/7/2009 8:21:39 AM	Miami Beach, FL
evileddy Ottawa, ON 42, joined Jan. 2008	Only to people who hide their true selves from others does this happen to. For me it gets better and better because I show the worst of myself to begin with.
4/7/2009 8:28:25 AM	Miami Beach, FL
wisegirl33 Queensland Australia 50, joined Dec. 2007	OP - It's called the honeymoon period. Once they realise that they have gone through the initial flirty dating period, followed then by the boyfriend/girlfriend exclusivity period, then the total committment stage (let's meet each others' famiies) stage..........And even if they have progressed to the "let's move in" together stage.....what's next ? The ultimate committment = marriage. If they are ready and want that = they love each other. If they don't, they either are not in love or are not ready for that committment yet. JMO wisegirl33 - 7 Aprl 2009 at 1130pm Aest
4/7/2009 10:09:30 AM	Miami Beach, FL
crgzero Tulsa, OK 40, joined Jan. 2009	Quote from evileddy: Only to people who hide their true selves from others does this happen to. For me it gets better and better because I show the worst of myself to begin with. This
4/7/2009 5:16:51 PM	Miami Beach, FL
definitely_ltr Stroudsburg, PA 53, joined Sep. 2008	Quote from evileddy: Only to people who hide their true selves from others does this happen to. For me it gets better and better because I show the worst of myself to begin with. BAM!!! And there it is!!! The truth be told!
4/7/2009 6:25:47 PM	Miami Beach, FL
fenugreek Minneapolis, MN 63, joined Mar. 2009	Quote from th6231: They don't always go from good to bad--they CAN go from good to better---in fact all relationships should be getting better--day by day. It takes respect--honesty--communications--maturity--tolerance--integrity and shared common values to make a relationship grow stronger. I bet you have strong friendships that have lasted for years---guys you hang with and enjoy sports or work or hobbies--fishing--hunting--cars---whatever. You get along with them because you respect each other--have fun--help each other--listen to each other---so why can't you do it with a woman?? Why does it go bad with a woman?? It happens because BOTh of you allow it to go bad. Everything in your life is UP TO YOU--YOU allow the circumstances in your life--no one does anything to you unless you allow it to happen. sooooo wise,
4/7/2009 9:45:17 PM	Miami Beach, FL
leadman_ Lake Dallas, TX 53, joined Mar. 2009	Interesting strategy Evil
4/7/2009 9:55:57 PM	Miami Beach, FL
anglekisses12 Nampa, ID 65, joined Apr. 2009	If the relationship changes its because things change all the time. Maybe you want something the other person doesn't or the other way around. If you have a good commuications and each person knows up front what they want from the relationship then it should work out. Since we are all human thou we can mess up no matter how hard we try no to.
4/8/2009 3:56:10 AM	Miami Beach, FL
justmysay Wichita, KS 45, joined Mar. 2009	Just realized that it is suppose to change but yes the communication is key... Know what you want and know where you stand and don't dwell on the what if factor (negativity) enjoy the moments the time the laughter and all the extras..... Even if where you stand is not exactly where it is you want to be... it's gotta get better..... Still awaiting an end or a beginning, but I'm going to enjoy this time I have.....
4/8/2009 8:19:01 AM	Miami Beach, FL
klassyklown Bakersfield, CA 47, joined Feb. 2007	I think relationships change over time because of expectations. People have these unspoken visions of what a committed relationship or marriage should be like and as a relationship progresses they expect the relationship to evolve into their picture perfect world, when it doesn't the poop hits the fan.
4/8/2009 8:43:27 AM	Miami Beach, FL
robtest Norcross, GA 54, joined Sep. 2008	relationship do and should evolve. Every few months it is good to sit down and review how you feel. If you don't feel that it is evolving to suit you, have a conversation (the imfamous "We need to talk") and if that doesn't resolve it, move on ...
4/8/2009 10:27:00 AM	Miami Beach, FL
whamback Columbus, OH 66, joined Mar. 2009	Quote from gloriaschild: The newness wears off. And the sameness wears on. It comes down to how a couple deals with that sameness, those day to day nuances of a person's personality that make themselves known. It defines you as a couple as to how you handle these little surprises. Sometimes I think we all live in a "fantasy" world on what we want or need from someone we would consider a SO. We do not accept the human side of a person, the Weaknesses, the Fallicies, the Chit that we all have inside us. Hell we are a disposable society now, and it is just to easy to throw thing's away, look at this country's divorce rate. I guess it all comes down to how important is it, having this person in your life, and what are you willing to accept to keep that person there. I have an SO, that I met on DH, and last night we had a conversation, that was not comfortable, in fact my comment, although a honest concern that I had, had hurt her, she became angry (not verbally) started crying, and hung up on me...OMG.. I waited a few moments and called her back. Thank God she answered the phone. We had a "conversation" about what had Occured, not what was said, but how it had affected her, and I. It was soft, sincere and from the heart, no good guy, no bad guy, no winner (except for us) we learned a bit more about each other and we grew as a couple and We are still "us" The situation went from her hanging up on me in tears, to her last statement, Walter I think I could fall in love with you, what a dam fine Idea that is But hey, what the hell do I Know, I am just a man JMHO wham
4/8/2009 6:11:48 PM	Miami Beach, FL
justmysay Wichita, KS 45, joined Mar. 2009	Quote from whamback And the sameness wears on. It comes down to how a couple deals with that sameness, those day to day nuances of a person's personality that make themselves known. It defines you as a couple as to how you handle these little surprises. Sometimes I think we all live in a "fantasy" world on what we want or need from someone we would consider a SO. We do not accept the human side of a person, the Weaknesses, the Fallicies, the Chit that we all have inside us. Hell we are a disposable society now, and it is just to easy to throw thing's away, look at this country's divorce rate. I guess it all comes down to how important is it, having this person in your life, and what are you willing to accept to keep that person there. I have an SO, that I met on DH, and last night we had a conversation, that was not comfortable, in fact my comment, although a honest concern that I had, had hurt her, she became angry (not verbally) started crying, and hung up on me...OMG.. I waited a few moments and called her back. Thank God she answered the phone. We had a "conversation" about what had Occured, not what was said, but how it had affected her, and I. It was soft, sincere and from the heart, no good guy, no bad guy, no winner (except for us) we learned a bit more about each other and we grew as a couple and We are still "us" The situation went from her hanging up on me in tears, to her last statement, Walter I think I could fall in love with you, what a dam fine Idea that is But hey, what the hell do I Know, I am just a man JMHO....wham End Quote........ That's awesome Last Night was a good Nite!!!... I just had a revelation last night with my friend whom I had an open talk with actually an email but from the heart as well as mind... Turns out I had been worrying abt nothing my doubts were becoming my insecurities... Communication is a key.... and if you don't discuss the issue(s) all you will do is worry and never grow as a couple... Not discussing something can leave a friendship in pieces... I am so very glad I had a talk with my friend cause now I know and now he knows as well... Our Friendship is still growing and evolving and for that I am thankful as well as blessed!! [Edited 4/8/2009 6:17:27 PM ]
4/8/2009 6:23:14 PM	Miami Beach, FL
bella2020 Lebanon, OH 54, joined Sep. 2007	I think thats about how long it takes to really get to know someone,And to see if you get along with each other.And then reality starts setting in .You either make it or move on.

mechsmoto - Miami Beach, FL

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Why do relationships change after only a few months??

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