| 11/13/2007 7:54:47 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50 online now!
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Man.. that sucks. I'm glad I don't have that problem. For awhile, I rarely heard from my oldest.. til my youngest found out about it and ummmm.. had a chat with big brother lol Once a month is not enough!
Russ, you don't think that would happen with you, do ya?
[Edited 11/13/2007 7:56:44 PM]
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| 11/13/2007 7:56:31 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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agent05949
Greenville, MI
age: 56
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PKK, thank you !! Thats EXACTLY how he feels right now. His birthday was Oct. 15th and it wasn't remembered by either of the girls OR their husbands. BUT he can send money.
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| 11/13/2007 8:02:51 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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agent05949
Greenville, MI
age: 56
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My point in asking was because is this something we have to look forward to? I for one have noticed for whatever reason that contact has dimingished, but I assume its because of grandkids being active. But as my buddy explained his situation I immediately put myself in his shoes and wondered if I was on a similar threshold.
I thought it was natural.......
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| 11/13/2007 8:05:12 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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thepkk
Springfield, MO
age: 52
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Yeah Agent let me forget a birhday of any of them and I catch hell. Can't give them money anymore sinse on social security. When I did live with the one son this year for a few months I did help out with the bills. But I have really been feeling left out alot.
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| 11/13/2007 8:07:55 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50 online now!
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I think our kids keep us in mind alot more often than we realize. Just like we were busy raising ours when we were their age.. we may not have called our folks quite as often as they wanted. It's hard enough when they leave nest and develope a life of their own for us... I guess it would be easy and normal to feel somewhat abandoned or neglected.
I felt this when my oldest talked me into coming back to this God-forsaken town and than he called me twice in 6 months. That was when my youngest had the long talk with his big brother.. not sure what was said.. but it worked! I think sometimes.. we just need to remind them that we are still here, still their parents, still care and need to know they care as well
[Edited 11/13/2007 8:09:58 PM]
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| 11/13/2007 8:10:11 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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cholo2
Virginia Beach, VA
age: 53
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....love has no expectations...just go with the flow...
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| 11/13/2007 8:33:33 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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agent05949
Greenville, MI
age: 56
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My intent was not to put a damper on anyone's life/existense. It was merely as a result of a conversation I had with a buddy in my garage tonite. As he discussed his situation I could immediately draw trends to myself, primarily because he's 10 years older than me. If' we'd had a 60+ plus forum maybe this whole thread would mean something different to them. If, it ( the thread) wasted any of your time, again I am sorry.
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| 11/13/2007 9:24:27 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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deb56
Marysville, IN
age: 51
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Hey agent,
I know what your talking about. I have 4 grownup kids and sometimes I don't hear from them as much I'd like. I have to realize they are really busy putting their lives together while I'm in the empty nest mode. But I do get calls from one daughter almost daily, and one son at least weekly. They don't ask for money anymore since they've all finally got good enough jobs. One suggestion (I figured out) is to call them, don't wait for them to call. I also drop by sometimes to play with the kids or to pick them out for a granny field trip.Even when their parents are busy I can usually steal the kids for a few hours, and that gives me a good "fix" when I need some hugs and silly fun. So, to avoid feeling lonely, just call or go see them. I know the Jim Croce song about the cat's in the cradle... I always used to cry when I heard that song, thinking someday I'd be alone. Answer-just don't let it be like that!!!
Hope this helps...
Deb
[Edited 11/13/2007 9:25:21 PM]
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| 11/13/2007 9:56:06 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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lawvixen
Oldsmar, FL
age: 54
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My personal opinion is...basically how the children were brought up, and how close the parent(s) were to that individual child in the family. Close knit families tend to communicate more often with each other and their parents.
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| 11/13/2007 10:01:20 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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butterfly58
Arcadia, MO
age: 58 online now!
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My three sons live close to their father but they still try to be there for me. Even though I know they want to hear I'm happy and doing fine which is what I tell them. They have no idea of my life ad I truly don't think they care. Visited them this last weekend upon their insistence because I'm not as busy as they are. It was all fun and laughter and then I came home. They have their holidays with their Dad in the home where they were raised with the things and traditions that I created for them. Can't understand why I don't want to be there also! 
Maybe because it might cramp my ex's new wife and her daughters 
They always feel they have to protect me!!! while I just don't feel the need to be there even for them. It's a long road in which I don't see the end to soon.
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| 11/13/2007 10:15:32 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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thepkk
Springfield, MO
age: 52
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Lawvixen I don't know about if you have any kids or not. I raised my boys to be close but life gets in the way. Their priorties are now with their own families and their jobs. I know they love me and would be here in a second if I told them I need them. Last relationship was not good and when I called my second son and said "come and get me" no questions was asked he was there.
I am just having the holiday blues now because I know they are busy with in laws and their father and they won't want to eat a third meal. Plus I am not physically able or financilly able to cook like I would like to. So ignore my blues. ok
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| 11/13/2007 10:15:45 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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elfiegirl
Jacksonville, FL
age: 53 online now!
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Oh...I feel it sometimes...my girls and I are very close,
but in mind only because they live so far away! I get
emails of funny stuff and sad mushy, "I Love you Mom" stuff.
And I email them the same! But they have real small babies,
and work full time & have great hubbys and they are happy,
so that's all I could hope for...for them!
They are doing well because of and in spite of me!
But I tell everyone, they are my greatest achievements ever!!!
Laura is my eldest at 33, her hubby is Noel, and Aralynn 3 1/2.
Erica is my youngest, 26, her hubby is Neal, and Aubrey is 1 1/2.
(Kinda funny, huh?)
Laura has auburn hair & green eyes, and so does Aralynn (gorgeous!)
Erica is my blonde with blue eyes & Aubrey has red hair & blue eyes (cute!)
Of course I'm not in the least predjudiced! hehehehe
I miss them to pieces! Waaaaaah! 
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| 11/13/2007 10:25:52 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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deb56
Marysville, IN
age: 51
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Butterfly,
I feel so sad for you. That's kind of what happened with my mom and my younger brother and sisters who ended up living with my dad & stepmom in their teen years. Once they grew up, they still hung around together and spent hloidays at dad's. Mom was not really left out, but also wasn't part of the BIG parties. My sisters would stop over to see her after, and maybe bring her a plate of goodies. It was so sad to me.They've gotten wiser and kinder since then, and she gets first visit every other time.
Someone else mentioned earlier that it's alot to do with how kids are raised. I think that's true sometmes, but then, how could you explain several kids, all raised together , some of whom stay close, and others who seem to busy or distant.
I think maybe life these days is very stressful and it's harder to "make it".
JMO
Deb
Sending Love to all...
It's ajungle out there!!!!
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| 11/13/2007 10:31:58 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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queenofhearts61
Seymour, IN
age: 61 online now!
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Guess I am not the only one gets 'touchy' here. Good now I do not feel so bad about the weekend. Did anyone else think sometimes we sound just like a family? I mean these 2 or 3 argue then those 2 or 3 or 5 argue and so on?
I have that problem of feeling sometimes like they only call when they need me. Not for money cause I got none. But for a ride for one of their kids or because I hadn't called them in a few days and they were wondering why.
Since I have been in college they do not find me sitting here waiting every day for them to talk to me cause I go nobody else to talk to.
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| 11/13/2007 10:35:07 PM |
We're all Mature here.... |
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lawvixen
Oldsmar, FL
age: 54
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Pkk, I am not "talking" about how often they visit, as agent was not asking that when he first started the thread. He asked about how often they call...so I answered about families calling and not about being there for the parents. I feel most children are "there" for their parents, they just don't contact us as often as we would like them to.
I was responding to agent's question within the thread itself..
[Edited 11/13/2007 10:39:05 PM]
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