| 11/18/2007 8:02:05 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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busymanfour
Harrisonburg, VA
age: 50
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Still tapping??? Does that mean I win???????
Now what is the subject???
By the way did you do something to your hair???
[Edited 11/18/2007 8:02:48 PM]
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| 11/18/2007 8:14:06 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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lostinwyoming
Evanston, WY
age: 50
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the 5 most dangerous questions women ask.
1. What are you thinking about?
2. Do you love me?
3. Do I look fat in this?
4. Do you think she is prettier than me?
5. What would you do if I died?
What makes these questions so difficult is that every one is guaranteed to explode into a major argument if the man answers incorrectly (i.e., tells the truth). Therefore, as apublic service, each question is analyzed below, along with possible responses.
Question # 1: What are you thinking about? The proper answer to this, of course, is: " I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear. I was just reflecting on what a warm, wonderful,thoughtful, caring, intelligent woman you are, and how lucky I am to have met you."
This response obviously bears no resemblance to the true answer, which most likely is one ofthe following:
a. Football.
b. Golf.
c. How fat you are.
d. How much prettier she is than you.
e. How I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Perhaps the best response to this question was offered by Al Bundy, who once told Peg, "If I wanted you to know what I was thinking, I would be talking to you!"
Question # 2: Do you love me? The proper response is: "YES!" or, if you feel a more detailed answer is in order, "Yes, dear."
Inappropriate responses include:
a. Oh Yeah, sh@*-loads.
b. Would it make you feel
better if I said yes? c. That depends on what you mean by love.
d. Does it matter?
e. Who, me?
Question # 3: Do I look fat? The correct answer is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Among the incorrect answers are:
a. Compared to what?
b. I wouldn't call you fat, but you're not exactly thin.
c. A little extra weight looks good on you.
d. I've seen fatter.
e. Sorry what did you say? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 4: Do you think she's prettier than me? Once again, the proper response is an emphatic: "Of course not!" Incorrect responses include:
a. Yes, but you have a better personality
b. Not prettier, but definitely thinner
c. Not as pretty as you when you were her age
d. Define pretty
e. Sorry what did you say ? I was just thinking about how I would spend the insurance money if you died.
Question # 5: What would you do if I died? A definite no-win question.(The real answer, of course, is "Buy a Lotus and a Boat").
No matter how you answer this, be prepared for at least an
hour of follow-up questions, usually along the these lines:
WOMAN: Would you get married again?
MAN: Definitely not!
WOMAN: Why not - don't you like being married?
MAN: Of course I do.
WOMAN: Then why wouldn't you remarry?
MAN: Okay, I'd get married again.
WOMAN: You would? (with a hurtful look on her face)
MAN: (makes audible groan)
WOMAN: Would you sleep with her in our bed?
MAN: Where else would we sleep?
WOMAN: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her?
MAN: That would seem like the proper thing to do.
WOMAN: And would you let her use my golf clubs?
MAN: She can't use them; she's left-handed.
WOMAN: - - - silence - - -
MAN: Sh&%.
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| 11/18/2007 8:17:28 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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busymanfour
Harrisonburg, VA
age: 50
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Now thats just funny!
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| 11/18/2007 8:20:14 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50 online now!
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LOL funny Lost... as always
Busy... ya shud know by now that a man never wins until the woman tells him that he won
And.. what do you mean you don't like my hair??!!! lol
Speaking of not listening.. this gal is off to bed so she can at least understand men in her dreams Been fun bantering with ya.. and oh yeah.. we are tied.. 1 to 1. ONLY because I have ya the second round! lol Talk to ya later.. Nite all Trish
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| 11/18/2007 8:29:31 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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busymanfour
Harrisonburg, VA
age: 50
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I stand by what I said tru...your awesome, have a great night and great day tomorrow!
She said We are tied!!
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| 11/18/2007 8:58:58 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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lawvixen
Oldsmar, FL
age: 54
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I have a male friend who has remarried....he never knew he didn't like poker with the men on Thursday nights until she told him he didn't......
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| 11/18/2007 10:11:34 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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pleasewrite
Bethlehem, PA
age: 61
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I don't know honey, I'm sorry, I can't hear too well, see too well, my memory is gone, and I am 61 now. What was that again?
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| 11/18/2007 10:18:04 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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emt854
Appleton, WI
age: 53
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| 11/18/2007 10:23:28 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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pleasewrite
Bethlehem, PA
age: 61
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Hi EMT, Thank you for the birthday cake. Was it my birthday again?
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| 11/18/2007 10:34:46 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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pleasewrite
Bethlehem, PA
age: 61
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I'm sorry but I forgot to take my Alsheimers pills.
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| 11/18/2007 10:38:48 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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emt854
Appleton, WI
age: 53
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I thought you said it was or were you just cheatin for some chocolate..
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| 11/19/2007 12:41:34 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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busymanfour
Harrisonburg, VA
age: 50
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Law that's funny!
[Edited 11/19/2007 12:41:57 PM]
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| 11/19/2007 12:55:10 PM |
What men say but actually mean! |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50 online now!
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It's just that men can't do two things at the same time.. listening and anything else
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