| 11/19/2007 10:27:55 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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historybuff
Waterville, ME
age: 45
|
Just curious if anyone else out there struggles with the holidays like i do. Being single really is hard, especially when you so badly want to have that special someone in your life. Being up here in the northeast doesnt help much either with the lack of population concentration like most other states have. I truly struggle with meeting new folks, even here on the computer, so i am just curious, is the holidays a struggle for you too?
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| 11/19/2007 10:29:27 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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crazycajun74
Dallas, TX
age: 35
|
This one will be. It is my first one truly alone. I was going to host Thanksgiving but my mom backed out last week. Just me and my kiddos. Think I will start a new tradition though! Anyone have any ideas?
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| 11/19/2007 10:33:01 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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soultrynights
San Clemente, CA
age: 40
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you will never be alone crazy . not if i have anything to do with it 
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| 11/19/2007 10:33:54 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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britbrit
Gloucester, MA
age: 24
|
well I dont know about being lonely cuz I always go to my families for the holidays, we have a big family dinner (about 16 or so of us, just up here) then we drink and play cards, laugh, joke around with each other and sing karoke LMAO its always entertaining around the holidays
[Edited 11/19/2007 10:34:58 AM PST]
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| 11/19/2007 10:35:47 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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crazycajun74
Dallas, TX
age: 35
|
You are very lucky Brit... you described my Thanksgiving with my ex husbands family! They would still welcome me with open arms but it would be too uncomfortable for me. Everyone in his family still remain close even after divorces but I find it a little weird! 
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| 11/19/2007 10:35:57 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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klassykitten
Toccoa, GA
age: 52
|
Struggle is a good description...Let's just say it's 42 days and counting until January 1....
[Edited 11/19/2007 10:36:51 AM PST]
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| 11/19/2007 10:40:30 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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stellablue
Saint Louis, MO
age: 52
|
Not into it...thinkin about fishing instead!
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| 11/19/2007 10:42:07 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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britbrit
Gloucester, MA
age: 24
|
yeah my family is a little crazy but so much fun.....
and cajun, I understand about it being weird, but hey if your close to the family, then theres no reason you shouldnt go.....I'm sure its clear that you and your ex are over
but just you and your kids would be nice too
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| 11/19/2007 10:42:09 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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soultrynights
San Clemente, CA
age: 40
|
to me family days should be everyday . not just one day a year. i mean really the pilgrims started this shit . and then they killed all the indians and took their land and chicks after the indians taught them how to live of this land we now call usa
[Edited 11/19/2007 10:42:50 AM PST]
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| 11/19/2007 10:44:14 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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crazycajun74
Dallas, TX
age: 35
|
I agree Soul. Brit, it is in Seattle, Washington this year anyway but next year here in Texas. Maybe by then he will have met someone and it won't be as weird (for me anyway).
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| 11/19/2007 10:45:46 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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skunkbreath
Saint James, MO
age: 90
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"Think I will start a new tradition "......No need to...Festivus!!!.. is a growing , new tradition!
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| 11/19/2007 10:49:57 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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lotus3
Venice, FL
age: 57
|
I came to terms a long time ago to not being a "couple" around holidays, special events and weddings. Now the only thing that struggles is my bank account 
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| 11/19/2007 10:51:59 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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britbrit
Gloucester, MA
age: 24
|
I am part native american, I still celebrate though for the simple fact that I am thankful I am here and with my family.... and yeah I agree with doing it other times as well, my family gets together for big dinners more than just the holidays
[Edited 11/19/2007 10:52:18 AM PST]
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| 11/19/2007 10:54:45 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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soultrynights
San Clemente, CA
age: 40
|
brit you have any cuban in you ?
you want some ?
[Edited 11/19/2007 10:54:55 AM PST]
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| 11/19/2007 10:56:54 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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klassykitten
Toccoa, GA
age: 52
|
Hey stella got an extra pole??? I can bring the worms...
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| 11/19/2007 10:58:38 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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elfiegirl
Port Charlotte, FL
age: 55
|
I agree soul...in part...because it was horrendous what
was done to the Native American Indians.......BUT
I personally had nothing to do with it, and cannot be
held personally responsible for it. My ancestors were
from Germany & France. Little known fact...uh...the
Germans were some of the first slaves here...and taken
out west to help build the railroads as slaves before
the Chinese even.
Anyway..back on topic...
Yes...every day should be devoted to family...this
one day in particular...has been set aside to remind
us to be thankful for all our blessings, every day!
I know that this isn't being done...but nothing I can
do about what other folks do in their personal lives.
I can only be responsible for my life. Me...I say my
prayers of thanksgiving every morning.
It is tough when you are alone without that special
someone...but as said before in different threads,
you can always volunteer at a food bank or homeless
shelter serving the less fortunate, who need a helping
hand. It sure will open your eyes as to how lucky you
really are! Helping others always takes us "out of
ourselves" and lets us realize all that we DO have to
be grateful for. 
JMO JMO
Cindy
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| 11/19/2007 10:58:46 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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britbrit
Gloucester, MA
age: 24
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soul....haha your suppose to wait to hear the answer first! and no I dont and it doesnt look like I will be having some anytime soon either
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| 11/19/2007 10:59:45 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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soultrynights
San Clemente, CA
age: 40
|
maybe its something i can give you 4 xmas brit
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| 11/19/2007 11:01:50 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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britbrit
Gloucester, MA
age: 24
|
well now thats something to look forward to
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| 11/19/2007 12:14:37 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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yellowgold
Hersey, MI
age: 50
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I really don't think there is anything sader than to spend the holidays alone.This is the first year that both of my parents are gone,and to have a special person in my life would make it so much easier. Being single is not what I call a good time,its too hard anyway you look at it!
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| 11/19/2007 12:49:33 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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tag1960
Lakeland, FL
age: 49
|
I'll be working both thanksgiving and x-mas,they pay killer money for it,and since I'd be alone anyway,why not.I did put in to be off New Years. I'm use to being alone,I have been for a while now..
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| 11/19/2007 10:45:48 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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yellowfin
Corona, CA
age: 47
|
You can do what I'm doing, buy a deep fryer,turkey and CRF450 and head to the desert
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| 11/20/2007 4:57:31 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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historybuff
Waterville, ME
age: 45
|
I see i am not alone, i am going over to my folks for turkey day but its not the same as having someone to share it with. I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving and hopefully, Good Lord willing, we will all find that special someone we are looking for.
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| 11/20/2007 5:04:05 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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historybuff
Waterville, ME
age: 45
|
At least, you will have your kids to share the holidays with. It can be an awesome time for you and your kids, have them help you with preparing things, like cookies or helping with other things in getting ready. I bet they would love that and it would truly be a special time for all of you. Would invite ya up here for turkey day but it would be a long commute lol. Hope you have a truly special day!!
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| 11/20/2007 5:22:32 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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emt854
Appleton, WI
age: 55
|
I have spent way too many holidays alone. I too , when the kids were small Cajun, started a couple new traditions. I would invite someone to dinner that had no place to go, no family to speak of, usually a neighbor. It taught the kids that the holidays are not about us but others, where we could give of ourselves.
Then for fun on Christmas eve I would hang candy canes all over the house and the first time I did that the girls were so excited..it was a virtual candy store. One exception, DONT hang them on the ceiling fans..LOL yep they fly when the fan is turned on.
Once the kids were grown and gone, I got together with a single male neighbor who was a chef and we had a cookoff...
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| 11/20/2007 8:55:06 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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29tootsie
Brightwaters, NY
age: 61
|
I find the holidays the hardest reminder that there is no one special in your life. I have two daughters and we spend all holidays together but it is not the same thing as having a partner to share your life with. I have been alone - i.e. single- on the holidays and all the other days of the year - for 20+ years and if anything - for me- it gets harder, not easier. But of course I am glad to have my girls (only family left - everyone else has died) - but - oh, yes - it is a rough time.
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| 11/20/2007 9:15:56 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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chocalatediva
Waldorf, MD
age: 43
|
It's starting to get better but thank God for family.
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| 11/20/2007 10:04:19 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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huckleberrysqr
Renton, WA
age: 40
|
For me it's kind of complex. This will be the first holidays I've spent not married in a 10 years. But I'm definetly feeling the lonliness. I will be spending it with my family, and holidays are always wonderful with them. That said, everyone but me is married, other than the kids, so it's going to be really rough on me in that aspect.
Santa needs to bring me a great girlfriend this year, I've been very nice, but it sure would be good to have someone to experience both naughty and nice with hehe.
Rick
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| 11/20/2007 11:18:34 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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potentloveslave
Dade City, FL
age: 43
|
crazy cajun. Why not spend the holidays helping others in a food bank or soup kitchen. Giving to others is the greatest gift we can give ourselves.
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| 11/20/2007 11:30:47 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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pickyguy
Ramona, CA
age: 51
|
i don't get sad,i get happy,hollidays just make me happy,don't know why....i save being depressed for the rest of the year...lol........this year i will spend T-day w family,this will be a first in a long time,i'm lookin 4ward to walkin on the beach and watchin a great sunset....etc.etc....i hope ya'll have a great T-day yourselves.....drive safe and don't eat too much!!!!....
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| 11/20/2007 11:36:51 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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ylekiot
Stateline, NV
age: 53
|
I basically alone as well. My girls have grown up and left the nest, so it's basically me and my labradork retrievers. It does get lonely, but I can temper that with the fact that at least I have my health, that I'm not over in Iraq getting shot at by a bunch of gooks, things like that. It's all good, and all about what I make of it.
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| 11/20/2007 11:36:56 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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libraliz
South Bend, IN
age: 55
|
Yes, the holiday's are hard for me. I was married for 29 years and been used to hosting the big meal and all of the company in my then large home. The kids are grown and spend the holidays with their in-laws, friends, and their dad/wife. Last year I fixed a traditional dinner, but it was run here and there and no one really ate so this year I thought I'd have breakfast before they went to everyone else's house. Well, dad beat me to that, he's having dinner at 10:30 am! (strange but true)..so I don't think I'm doing anything except working on my house. Parents are gone and siblings doing their own thing with their families. I'm not sure what Christmas holds yet.
Good luck to everyone and have a blessed holiday. It will get better...it's mostly how you look at things. Do something you enjoy...a hobby, movie, read a good book, etc. And yes, volunteer where you can.
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| 11/20/2007 1:58:15 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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bubbadt
Kennedy, NY
age: 67
|
Soul, I was hoping I could share my Ethnics with Brit.
Were both half Native American, And by injection, she
could be Half Sicilian. Dontcha know.
Klassy- I got a pole you can use. I could deliver it.
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| 11/20/2007 2:06:05 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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lunawoman01
Whittier, CA
age: 48
|
Yes sometimes it gets a little lonesome..but hey, never settle for nothing but the best.
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| 11/20/2007 9:31:41 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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sweetfyr
Woodbridge, VA
age: 36
|
nah..for me...family & friends... life is blessed....
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| 11/20/2007 9:34:28 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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lattml
Hazleton, PA
age: 43
|
Definitely! As many others far more learned than I have said, the Holidays are the loneliest time of the year. As someone mentioned in another posting, see how many people are here Christmas Day.
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| 11/21/2007 2:41:31 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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theguydownthest
Flint, MI
age: 35
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yea, go work out, cook, then spend spend time with the kids. I wish I had kids to spend time with.
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| 11/21/2007 2:42:54 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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theguydownthest
Flint, MI
age: 35
|
spend time with the kids and volunteer at the local soup kit.
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| 11/21/2007 2:55:50 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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malicai
Edmonton, AB
age: 35
|
LMAO am always alone during the holidays, never had a someone to share it with, and chances are the rest of the family is busy with other affairs.
It's fine by me, hate getting a bunch of stuff I hate, and feeling like a dingbat cuz I don't give enough out.(think not giving enough hurts more)
Either way, being along during the holidays is actually pretty great. You get to spend the time with the only person who matters... you.
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| 11/21/2007 6:01:26 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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mred41563
Alexandria, KY
age: 47
|
if i didnt have to work after t-day i would be spending it with my kids but i do so it is going to be just me the rest of my family is getting to gether at one of my sisters and we dont get along at all and she dont want me at her house so yea it is a little bit of a struggle but i will survive 
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| 11/21/2007 7:00:51 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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sorprano
Wayne, NJ
age: 57
|
Just curious if anyone else out there struggles with the holidays like i do. Being single really is hard, especially when you so badly want to have that special someone in your life. Being up here in the northeast doesnt help much either with the lack of population concentration like most other states have. I truly struggle with meeting new folks, even here on the computer, so i am just curious, is the holidays a struggle for you too?
holidays = get-togethers and of course it's very tough to be alone--what i do when i'm alone esp this thanksgiving i will be is maybe watching a TV marathon of the same program or watch one involving TV shows with the same common theme--eg: watch TV land --and think of yourself there celebrating the holiday with them--i use to love seeing the Honeymooners over and over--and when i needed a laugh a show like that sure gives you that--perhaps if you like dancing see if someone is holding a pre thanksgiving singles dance or one this saturday nite--go there and make up for lost time--good luck
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| 11/21/2007 7:08:27 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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newlife4me2
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 45
|
I am hoping when all is said and done that the holidays won't wind up being too difficult. My ex is Jewish, I am Christian. Although the new Mrs. he has picked out is also Christian. But I've already said the Jewish holidays he can have, the Christian ones are mine. Of course, Thanksgiving will likely have to be split......not sure how that is gonna work out yet.
This year though we are all still in the same house. I thought he would take the kids to his cousin's as we've spent the last five years there but he decided he is cooking this year instead. I offered and was ignored............well he can do it then.
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| 11/21/2007 10:01:26 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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rocket000
Murrayville, GA
age: 52
|
The past few years I've said I wouldn't spend another holiday alone. However, the holidays are here and I'm alone on the farm with my horses and dog. My mom was supposed to come down but there was a health issue. I've been divorced for 9 years. I'm typically an upbeat and very funny person but I find the limited amount of dating I do unfufilling and disappointing. My lifestyle is outside the mainstream. I'm well educated, articulate but my kids have 4 feet and take alot of time and money. I've mentored young girls and fostered animals in need.I have good friends who live a good distance away and we remain in close contact via phone and email. I would be nice to find an intelligent, educated, animal lover who is communicative to share a holiday meal.. I can certainly sympathize and relate to the many people who have shared their feelings on this post.
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| 11/21/2007 11:18:02 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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kyle04
Cuba, MO
age: 46
|
The holidays are hard when you are alone. It is even harder when you are with someone and still feel lonely. I am in the situation where I am with my significant other, which is a guy, yes I am gay, but we have drifted apart. I am away from my family and friends, and I don't really have anyone to talk with. In your situation, try to spend time with any friends you might have. It helps feel the void in your life. I hope you the best, and I hope you try and have a happy holiday.
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| 11/21/2007 11:31:14 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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rocket000
Murrayville, GA
age: 52
|
Hi Kyle.I have a dear friend in NY who is gay. He is a successful designer. He had been with his partner for almost 23 years. The last 4-5 years he kept telling me he wanted out. Well he finally moved out and bought another home. He was set up on many different dates that went absolutely nowhere.About 6 months ago he called me after he'd been introduced to yet another date. He said, normally this new guy would not have been his "type". However, the new guy was so kind and not materialistic at all. They have been seeing each other exclusively and he was so thankful he decided to be openminded. I dated someone for several years that was not on my level in most areas. Although I was relieved when we were no longer together I understand that it can be difficult to sever ties with a relationship that has run it's course. We all have the "romantizied idea" of a joyful holiday gathering around a food laden table, snuggled up in front of a fireplace with that "special" someone. It's alot of pressure and we set ourselves up for disappointment.
If you care about your partner but have grown apart consider going to couples counseling to see if the relationship can be and/or is worth salvaging. If not, take a deep breath and cut the chord. It's tough but it's the humane and wise thing to do.
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| 11/21/2007 11:37:00 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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kyle04
Cuba, MO
age: 46
|
Thank you. I know I have to let go. He deserves that, and I need that. Even though I am not in love with him anymore I still care for him as a person. I just feel like a failure because I have fallen out of love.
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| 11/21/2007 4:48:23 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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kazyka
Hudson, NH
age: 40
|
I use to love the holidays. It was my favorite time of year. I might of had a little anxiety maybe because of all the crowds of people, and spending. I am spending Thanksgiving with my 3 kids and my parents and siblings. There will be 20 of us at the table. It will be my first without my kids father. It'll be hard, but it's been a tough year, so I'm ready to just move forward, and say by to 2007. I was in and out of the hospital 6 times in 5 months, it was rough on the kids. He asked for the divorce in the hospital. We had a fire in the house. Kids were at school, and ex was at work. Only I and the cat were in the fire. We ended up being okay in the end. A little banged up, but okay. We had to live in a hotel for awhile. Ex slept in the loft and I slept on the pull-out couch with my son when I got out of the hospital. I waited a couple of months then moved them out to a town house where they had to change schools. It has been hard on them, but they are bouncing back. We are standing on our feet. They have met lots of friends here. The pool was my savior over the summer. Now the holidays are my next hurdle. I know I can do this, I just have to keep telling myself I can. I ramble on and on, when I get nervous. Sorry about that.
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| 11/22/2007 6:34:20 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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tlc516
West Mifflin, PA
age: 49
|
Oh boy am I struggling with the holidays. Last year during the week of Thanksgiving I was preparing for my wedding. Last Christmas Eve I was married. Last Good Friday he died and I spent Easter planning a funeral. This year will suck and I guess it is understandable. God I hope this doesn't hang on me for the rest of my life.
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| 11/23/2007 11:57:05 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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wildthing1
Saint Clair, MO
age: 54
|
it's a definite struggle for me to make it through the holidays. in the past, i've tried to commit suicide 4 times and my son stopped all 4 attempts, on the last attempt he made me promise not to do this anymore because he knew that i NEVER break a promise. the thoughts are still there but i made a solemn promise to my baby boy!! so now, i cry alot!!
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| 11/24/2007 12:00:13 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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ylekiot
Stateline, NV
age: 53
|
Oh Wild, you could have shared my bed with me! Just in observance of Thanksgiving, of course! 
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| 11/24/2007 12:07:09 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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wildthing1
Saint Clair, MO
age: 54
|
thanks yle! but you know me well enough my friend, that i would want to share a bed with someone that wants me to stay every night with them. i'm a bit on the loyal side, you see and i need that loyalty returned.
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| 11/24/2007 12:12:22 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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ylekiot
Stateline, NV
age: 53
|
I know. I was just trying to be funny and made an a** of myself.
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| 11/24/2007 12:27:30 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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wildthing1
Saint Clair, MO
age: 54
|
you didn't make an a** of yourself, i laughed! but, you know i only speak the truth!
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| 11/24/2007 12:33:00 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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thepkk
Ash Grove, MO
age: 55
|
I hate the holidays more and more every year. I try to think of them as just another day, but I am getting sick of those just another day alone.
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| 11/26/2007 9:26:26 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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nashoba_miko
Oklahoma City, OK
age: 40
|
And so now is Christmas.............first holiday alone in 14 years. Not sure how its going to go. I'm thinking of decorating and when the kids are gone to their dads, being somewhere else other than in the quiet house.
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| 11/26/2007 11:53:29 AM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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usc7t1
West Columbia, SC
age: 61
|
Since my divorce after 36 years of marriage and always having BIG holiday celebrations with families, I've had 2 lonely Thanksgivings, 2 lonely Christmas Days, and 2 lonely New Year's Eves. The feelings start about a week before Thanksgiving and continue on through a few days after the New Year. Then I'm fine again! It seems no matter what I get involved in or try to busy myself doing, there is still that feeling of loneliness. I have one daughter who is married and she spends all 3 holidays with her husband's families.
This year I had a date for the Thanksgiving weekend, but at the last minute he decided to go see his daughter in FLA. That disappointed me terribly and made this Thanksgiving alone even worse.
I've got to learn to get over this and I'm sure with time I will, as I have everything else.
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| 11/26/2007 12:15:50 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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luthak
Federal Way, WA
age: 47
|
hella, completely sucks to be alone!
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| 11/26/2007 12:19:07 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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jazzygirlok
Tulsa, OK
age: 46
|
The only thing I struggled with was removing myself from the table..I don't try to change the things I can't, the past is exactly what it is, the past...now I look forward to the future...
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| 11/26/2007 3:03:45 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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nicrkitty36
Lake Worth, FL
age: 39
|
holidays stink.....not much family around.....mom passed away last year.....very hard.....always look for the positive......i try to think of all the goals i have met for the year and make new goals for the future.....light a candle and talk to those who have pasted on makes me feel extra close to those i miss.....
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| 11/26/2007 6:43:06 PM |
Anyone else out there struggle to get through the holidays? |
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wanttodance
Big Rapids, MI
age: 53
|
i have to share my kids and grandkids with my ex, so i do have a hard time around the holidays
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