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Forums: Relationships: How long does it really take? Page: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
5/19/2009 12:09:04 PM How long does it really take?  

cocopuffs375
Over 7,500 Posts!! (8,127)
Suffern, NY
age: 22

 Brock..you pretty much answered all the questions I have had on my mind in the last month...Thankyou!!!
5/19/2009 12:10:34 PM How long does it really take?  

brockr23
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,590)
Chandler, AZ
age: 33

 Cool!

Glad that some of what I ramble on about is making sense and is helpful to someone! Any time Coco, just drop a line...
5/19/2009 12:12:24 PM How long does it really take?  

claudius5
Petaluma, CA
age: 59

 I don't think you ever really know everything about a person, no matter how close you become. As we are constantly evolving human beings, we change.
5/19/2009 12:20:35 PM How long does it really take?  

in_doubtalishis
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,691)
Beaumont, CA
age: 34

 Im saying let someone in, not breaking walls. With good communication and comfort level, it comes out at its own pace. But when it is forced upon you that you have to hurry hurry hurry, that comfort level goes away and you step back for a second. When both are not willing to let it flow at its own pace it creates conflict. Makes it uncomfortable.


And I know you never full on know anyone, we discover many secrets of people when they die and can no longer hide it. But im talking about a general idea of someone here
5/19/2009 12:23:44 PM How long does it really take?  

brockr23
Over 4,000 Posts! (5,590)
Chandler, AZ
age: 33

 Strictly speaking about DH?

I offer this: The longer you wait to meet the person, I mean really meet. The lower your chance of success in my opinion.

The fantasy gets built so high the longer you spend "getting to know" someone online. Often times what happens is the reality of what you were dreaming of is lackluster when compared to the grandiose ideas you both have as you built up to the meeting.

I don't care how people meet initially, but in the long run, there is no substitute for time spent, together.
5/19/2009 12:26:11 PM How long does it really take?  

followurdreams2
Ridgeland, MS
age: 40
Quote from claudius5:
I don't think you ever really know everything about a person, no matter how close you become. As we are constantly evolving human beings, we change.




Sadly though, most aren't willing to accept the changes.
5/19/2009 12:28:02 PM How long does it really take?  

cruise427
Over 1,000 Posts (1,055)
Los Angeles, CA
age: 41

 takes me at least a year, and even then.. sometimes i
still have doubts..

nice to be able to turn your back, and knowing
everything will be cool
5/19/2009 12:31:34 PM How long does it really take?  

annigma3
Over 2,000 Posts (3,570)
Madison, WI
age: 35

 I agree with you both. I 100% agree with Brock's statement about how long you wait to meet. I posted something pretty similar to what he said in another thread on here earlier today.

Time spent together is the best thing, of course. But very difficult when each person has the own thing going on, and maybe one of them doesn't have the same amount of time to spend as the other does.

In_doubt...the top part of your post struck me, personally. I know that I have walls as protection from getting hurt, and i tend to push people away. However, the few times I've let someone inside those walls, I have pushed them away in a different way. Very few people take the time to be patient enough with me to let me get used to the idea of them getting through my walls without me panicing(sp?). So when they do, I tend to rush things, and that pushes them away as well. I'm working on this.

However, one thing to remember, letting things go at a "natural pace" still requires a little bit of effort on BOTH people's part. You can't lose the communication, and all time spent together, and still expect things to work. Without effective communication, it all falls apart. No matter how "natural" you want it to be.
5/19/2009 12:32:55 PM How long does it really take?  

in_doubtalishis
Over 4,000 Posts! (6,691)
Beaumont, CA
age: 34
Quote from brockr23:
Strictly speaking about DH?

I offer this: The longer you wait to meet the person, I mean really meet. The lower your chance of success in my opinion.

The fantasy gets built so high the longer you spend "getting to know" someone online. Often times what happens is the reality of what you were dreaming of is lackluster when compared to the grandiose ideas you both have as you built up to the meeting.

I don't care how people meet initially, but in the long run, there is no substitute for time spent, together.




In all honesty that is the truth. I met a big bellied denture wearing freak who really did lie about everything.



But me personally I have to get to a certain comfort level before meeting.
5/19/2009 12:38:39 PM How long does it really take?  

sunnygrl09
Yucaipa, CA
age: 45

 sometimes it feels like you never can know someone inside and out!!!!
5/19/2009 1:23:49 PM How long does it really take?  

runtan
Minden, NV
age: 56

 My name is Tom now you know me!! thats all there is,,

5/19/2009 1:26:02 PM How long does it really take?  

sea_1
Mesa, AZ
age: 56 online now!

 A lifetime...and then sometimes not even then..............Sea
5/19/2009 1:27:35 PM How long does it really take?  

wsprs0nthewind
Over 2,000 Posts (2,478)
Powell, TN
age: 44

 You never really know someone, only what they allow you to see and know. But to be comfortable with what you know of them takes a while and I'd say that's different for everyone. ME, it takes me a LONG time to get comfortable with strangers. Some people however, have the ability to raise my comfort level quicker than others. Some you just know you always have to be on guard around.
5/19/2009 1:29:26 PM How long does it really take?  

dirtydon301
Silver Spring, MD
age: 36

 In my opinion I believe that most of us carry this feeling of I can't let you know every single thing about me be it from a childhood experience to dealing with a failed relationship. It's work on both sides to bring down those walls that have been in place sometimes for years and if you don't take the time to try break through or if "I" don't try to let you in we might or might not make it but it doesn't mean that we should not try.
5/19/2009 1:50:44 PM How long does it really take?  

sdnurse
Lincoln, NE
age: 21

 Well, I read in my Cosmo magazine that it takes 90 days to really know who someone is. Seems like a long time though...

Forums: Relationships: How long does it really take? Page: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5