looking4_prince
Twin Falls, ID
age: 56
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My husband died almost two years ago ...He ran a casino in a neighboring town,and everyone knew him,and for the most part loved him...I am trying to cope with his loss everyday,and it is still hard for me..we were maried 32 years...BUT...almost every time I go out..and I am talking even to the grocery store...some one stops me and has to tell me what a great person he was.I know they mean well..but if they only knew how much it still hurts...and how many times I have left in tears...I have thought about moving..just so I can start a new life,and not be reminded everyday...am I just over re acting to what some people have told me is just a normal "social grace"...
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showme50
Columbus, IN
age: 50
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No you are not over reacting. My husband hasn't been gone as long, But it is hard to talk about him and some of the pictures I have put away because they are just to hard to look at. I wish I could say it gets better. But I don't know that yet. Other people tell me it does. Let's believe it does. Good luck and many blessings to you. You just need more time to heal.
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posts
Bedfordshire
United Kingdom
age: 58
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We all react differently, I will not talk about my wife in any shape or form, my friend Keith talks about his late partner, we are all unique and handle things differently, do not feel ashamed or negative, my wife helped at the local school for 10 years, taught over 300 children to read, write and learn to swim, I see these children now 14 - 17 yrs old everyday, so am faced with the same dilema as you are, but I can not speak about her to anyone, thats me.
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sprblkhwk
Villa Ridge, MO
age: 50
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When anyone starts in just say "Please, I can't talk about him." I think most would accept that and stop what they're doing.
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amethystjewel
Saint Helens, OR
age: 55
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There are times when I feel a need to talk about my husband and there are still times when I can't talk about him, because it makes me angry or I start crying. I just tell people that subject is not one I can discuss, at those times. 
My husband was killed, 3 yrs ago, in May, by a careless driver while he was sitting 14th in line at a red light, on his bike, on his way to work. He seen her & tried to move but she was going too fast and he was killed on the spot. { I was angry & in shock until this year. I spent the last 3 yrs crying every time someone said anything, also..} She told the cops that she seen him in front of her a mile before she hit him & she drove that route everyday. She also knew what careless driving did, first hand, cuz she was a Registered RN.
She was playing with a bottle of water, at the time!
I also got angry, every time somebody said,(it will get easier!) No,it hasn't gotten easier & never will. I've learned to accept & live with it, is all. I know they meant well & some just didn't know what to say. { better to not say anything }. I just told them straight out how I felt and how it hurt me. It did help, as people stopped bringing it up.
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No, you are not over-reacting! But try to remember that people whom haven't lost a spouse they loved, have no true idea of how you feel or what your going thru. They mean well, they just don't understand. Just tell them you can't talk about him, or her. Just be honest with them & yourself. You need time to grieve & heal, & the time needed is different for each of us. 
The loss of a beloved spouse is always difficult, no matter the circumstance that brought it about, since you also lose your life as it was.
My heart goes out to all of you.
[Edited 6/1/2009 8:57:09 AM PST]
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letsplay54143
Marinette, WI
age: 61
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Yes, you are over reacting. People loose tract of time and seeing you brings back his memory. You need to just stop them early by saying that it has been a while and that you are trying to move on with your life now. Or tell them , Yes, he was a great guy and now I am looking for another one.
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