11/24/2007 2:23:27 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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britbrit
Gloucester, MA
age: 22 online now!
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I have a hard time talking about feelings toward another, and it makes it a little hard in the dating world. It just makes me feel vulnerable and weak, not that im afraid of rejection because that sometimes would be better than entering a relationship and getting hurt worse. If someone brings up feelings, then of course I make a joke, and dont let them know how I really feel. Once in a relationship, it is a little easier but letting them know the feelings before the relationship starts is the problem.
My question is, what are some ways to get over this and does anyone else have this problem?
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11/24/2007 2:27:35 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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angelleyess
Middleboro, MA
age: 34
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i understand what u mean brit, i use to be the same way but its just not good to not tell someone how u feel about them while together for many reasons... its important to communicate your feelings to one another otherwise how does the relationship grow? good luck brit
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11/24/2007 2:32:00 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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britbrit
Gloucester, MA
age: 22 online now!
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well I understand that, its not as hard once im in a committed relationship....its letting them know how I feel before a relationship begins that gets me.
I just afraid to let people know how I feel sometimes because I dont wanna get hurt. Because for me, when I tell someone how I feel then I am letting my "wall" down and thus giving the oppurtunity for heartache....I suppose
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11/24/2007 2:35:08 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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newlife4me2
Saylorsburg, PA
age: 42
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Brit, the beginning of the downfall of my marriage was my inability to tell my ex exactly how I was feeling. In my case it led to YEARS of unhappiness - for both of us. I don't know what to tell you other than please - just do it.
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11/24/2007 2:38:18 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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libra75
Lowell, AR
age: 32
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I have problems telling others my feelins' too. Unless it's a lady I want, or I'm extremely angry, noone here's a peep outta me about how I feel. Makes me feel weak to talk about how I feel, too. No clue why,....
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11/24/2007 2:39:53 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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pwin_here_n_now
Annapolis, MD
age: 38 online now!
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Brit:
With time & honesty with yourself, I think you will find that "the wall" is there by your choice... You and you alone can choose to leave it up, or take it down. This doesn't come easily. It took me 36 years to realize, that the wall doesn't belong, nor is it necessary - that is what your gut instincts are for...
If you are in touch and keep yourself aware - your instincts will warn you when things aren't right, and will also give you the green light.
Peace!  open your mind and heart, it will come.
P.Win
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11/24/2007 2:39:57 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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newlife4me2
Saylorsburg, PA
age: 42
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Nobody whose ever been hurt in a relationship wants to leave themselves vulnerable to more heartache. I totally get that. But in order to gain what each of us individual may want I think we have to be willing to risk...............jmo.
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11/24/2007 2:40:16 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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britbrit
Gloucester, MA
age: 22 online now!
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I know communication in a relationship is very important and I do let my feelings be known once commited to someone.....
but getting to that point of comfortableness in a person is not easy for me, it takes a while of trust for me to be able to open up like that. Which makes it very hard when trying to date
oh when im angry....yeah just walk away cuz I will rip you a new one!!! LMAO
I have no problem saying things then, but it takes alot for me to get angry enough to do that though
[Edited 11/24/2007 2:43:21 PM]
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11/24/2007 2:42:28 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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angelleyess
Middleboro, MA
age: 34
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brit i know its hard to let ur wall down but u just have to force yourself sometimes and see where it leads cause if u dont u may screw things up before it even begins and thats never fun... trust me i know where ur coming from i have a very hard time myself but it use to be alot worse now i just go with my feelings .. jmo
[Edited 11/24/2007 2:43:43 PM]
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11/24/2007 2:43:55 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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iron_ranger
Owatonna, MN
age: 40
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The way i started talking to others on how i feel was to just do it.... no matter if i was nervous or affraid or worried what the other person would do or say.... all those worries and nervous feelings i had and still can get are just in my mind and arent real. i need to give the other person a chance to know me and who i am.... if they dont like me - there are other people in the world to share with.
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11/24/2007 2:44:06 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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v2_1
McHenry, IL
age: 44
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Brit, are you normally shy or is it just with someone you're interested in?
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11/24/2007 2:45:38 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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pwin_here_n_now
Annapolis, MD
age: 38 online now!
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Both of you are right... Risk is necessary if you are going to live your life to its fullest.
And Brit: Trust should take time... trust has to be earned, and sometimes that takes time - hopefully with the right person, it doesn't take as much time.
P.Win
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11/24/2007 2:46:09 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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angelleyess
Middleboro, MA
age: 34
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i couldnt of said it better iron
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11/24/2007 2:46:19 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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newlife4me2
Saylorsburg, PA
age: 42
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I have to agree....regardless of the outcome.......you just have to do it.
Doesn't mean that it is comfortable, but most growth comes outside your comfort zone.
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11/24/2007 2:53:11 PM |
when talking about feelings |
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repochick
Rosemount, MN
age: 29
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OMG Brit I used to be the world's worst at talking about my feelings. I wrecked soooo many relationships becase I wouldnt ever express my feelings. Well I just decided to start with small things and see how it went. I still cant always talk about all my feelings but I have improved some and I try very hard to push myself further.....
Another thing that I found that helped me even if it does sound corny is to write that persin a letter or email or whatever instead of having to tell them face to face!!
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