| 12/1/2007 6:04:21 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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sebzalive1
Sebastian, FL
age: 50
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People can be VERY hurt on the net!! That is likely why I don't share in the same style I once did. I do understand, but I also wish I had been reminded that all that is ever said on the net stays said and visible forever.
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| 12/1/2007 6:08:22 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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me4aminute
Rutland, IA
age: 34 online now!
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Thank you tru, I didn't start out handling it well, but think I have since pulled it together. It was his loss and mistake..........it has been a lesson learned.
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| 12/1/2007 6:08:58 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50 online now!
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Would it had made a difference if someone did say PPsstt remember what you type is here forever.. when you have steam coming out of your ears? lol I could rant and rave and cuss and carry on like a wild woman on here LMAO.. But I sit on my hands or go take a walk.. works for me
A very VERY tough lesson me4. No one should have to go through that crap.. on here or real life
[Edited 12/1/2007 6:10:35 PM]
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| 12/1/2007 6:19:46 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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elfiegirl
Jacksonville, FL
age: 53 online now!
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Hey everybody...how the heck are ya?? Happy Holidays to All!
Yeah...I agree with all the different sides to this issue, but do
disagree with the name calling and bashing...I CAN understand it,
but I TRY not do to it. I may have but I don't remember.
Anyway...where human hearts are concerned...it is a delicate and
volatile subject when someone is played or publicly ridiculed.
If it makes me appear less than human to admit to being played and hurt...
then so be it. I publicly revealed one person from here. He was already
gone from here, but on several other sites, and I had him successfully
removed from 4 sites. He was a predator and hurting other women. BUT...
as someone said...it was a necessity...for the safety of other women.
I try not to be cruel or hurtful....and will just bypass some threads unless
I think it has become a free-for-all, then I will report it to Dustin.
I came here to meet people, have fun and maybe meet someone...and I have
....again. I will always hesitate now in mentioning anyone's name as...
who wants to look foolish, right??? My good friends know...and that's
good enough for me! (Thank you my sweeties!) 
I want to sincerely wish everyone the best and good fortune in finding
that someone special. I got fingers & toes crossed for everybody!
Tee Hee 
Confuscious say..."Man who live without forgiveness in heart, lives a worse
life than death."
Peace out...Cindy Muuuah!
[Edited 12/1/2007 6:21:24 PM]
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| 12/1/2007 6:35:25 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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dragonflys
Saint James, MO
age: 46 online now!
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Great wisdom elfie.....best of luck with your new bo....and to the rest of you on here as well....hope time helps those of you hurting, so sorry you had to experience that, my heart goes out to you.........
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| 12/1/2007 6:42:07 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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midnight2005
Clarksburg, WV
age: 37 online now!
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It's all a part of growing up and moving on, you may not have to speak to the other person but you have to live along side on one another. grow up and live and let live!
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| 12/1/2007 6:49:15 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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viktoriya75
Brooklyn, NY
age: 32
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I always try to keep my dignity intact when I break up with someone. I don't believe in bashing each other. I never talk about why my relationship ended. It is my business and my business alone...My ex-husband, however, did a lot of bashing and created stories, and you name it, especially to our "friends" and even to strangers...I remember meeting people at parties and hearing my own story from them...Very bizarre feeling, let me tell you...It was difficult not to response in the same matter, but I controlled myself...Now, years later, I am glad that I was able to stand firm and not to fall to his low level...
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| 12/1/2007 6:58:49 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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dragonflys
Saint James, MO
age: 46 online now!
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Smart move Vik....its best to let it go and move on....I've learned that the only person that I'm in control of is me....my ex dogs me all the time, I think those that know me, know better, those that don't, well, when they get to know me....they'll know better too...and the rest, I really don't let em get to me. I don't answer to anyone but God....and thats really all that matters. I don't judge everyone from my past, I've learned alot from it and I'm grateful for the good and the bad....its been a long journey, but I like where I'm at. 
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| 12/2/2007 1:11:39 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 46 online now!
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Perception on how one posts is impressions to others on how you want to be treated in real life. This is an excellent thread trublu5ft2. Thank you for bringing this subject up. 
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| 12/2/2007 2:23:07 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50 online now!
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I think.. sometimes.. in the heat of the moment.. we type away in hurt and anger.. directing it at someone in particular.. but forget that everyone else can view what is being typed as well. Not great for impressions. I don't think a smart ass remark or uncalled for statement or 2 out of anger is going to harm one's rep.. but when it becomes a battle of words.. no one comes out as the winner.
But.. let's also remember that there are real people with real feelings behind this screen and there are going to be times.. despite our best effort.. that we are going to grind some salt into a wound. It happens. We just need to learn and remember to let it go and not keep hammering it out on the forums
[Edited 12/2/2007 2:42:52 PM]
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| 12/2/2007 2:38:08 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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big_joel
Ash Flat, AR
age: 55
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thanks trublu
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| 12/4/2007 6:52:18 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 46 online now!
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I think whatever issues a member has with another member it should remain off any thread. Scares potential mates away.
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| 12/4/2007 7:00:55 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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kfab1023
Jacksonville, FL
age: 51 online now!
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Very wisely said Chopper I agree and even if you are hurt by it you should do it in private email or better yet move on why open yourself up to more pain 
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| 12/4/2007 7:33:47 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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drdaniel
Las Vegas, NV
age: 49
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Cool words Trish. I have some comments as a psychologist who has helped many people get over an ended relationship. yes, rejection is a part of life and instinctively does lead to anger and depression. In fact, one must grieve a rejection in the same way we would grieve a death of a loved one. Point is, people need to work through these strong feelings or they will be unable to have a new and good relationship. If we don't grieve, we carry these feelings and then will pay the next person back for what the last person has done to us. This leads to some bad, hopeless relationships. So, express your feelings of rejection, sadness, loss and loss of self-esteem, do it to the person who rejected you or find another venue. Regards, Daniel
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| 12/4/2007 10:06:34 PM |
Being adult when things fall apart |
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trublu5ft2
Columbia, TN
age: 50 online now!
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I think we get so busy with life that we forget to deal with issues that is bringing us harm. We think that screaming, name calling and accusations will " fix" the hurt.. but it only adds to the fire. Taking a step back... even 2 if need be is always a good start for healing. Sometimes, it doesn't have to be one huge blowup.. it can often be several little jabs that ends up being one huge open wound. We should not let it get to that point before take a huge step back
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