| 4/22/2007 5:39:03 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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yanisa
Ponca City, OK
age: 33
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old mother hubbard went too the cubbard too get her dog a bone,
when she bent over ol rover showed her a bone of his own
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| 4/22/2007 6:08:25 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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taita25
Bronx, NY
age: 38
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Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream
Carelessly, Carelessly, Macho and arrogantly
all is wet but me..........
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| 4/22/2007 6:19:59 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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jojo05101
Brattleboro, VT
age: 41
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Little Miss Muffet
sat on a tuffet
eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider
who sat down beside her
and said:
"What's in the bowl b*tch?"
----------------------------------
Jill took Jack up on the hill
it was their first date together.
She gave Jack a smack 'cross tha back of his ass
with a paddle of studded black leather.
She said "Get on your knees and you'll learn how to please
a woman who knows what she wants.
But listen closely and do what I say
or you'll be the one in hot pants".
She grabbed his hair, turned him around and
pushed is face down in some clover
She said "Listen punk I don't wanna hear shit
but you barking like your name is rover".
She turned him upside, sideaways backwards and front
and every which way but loose
then rode him like a reverse cowgirl
with his prick cinched up in a noose.
When she was done and she'd had all her fun
she gave his ass another smack.
ans said "Tell everybody I own that d*ck
and bring your sister when you come back".
Jack showed his pa the lump on his head
and the bruise under one of his eyes
Papa said "Fella, I gots nuttin to tellya
'cause looks like you been told at least twice"
-----------------------------
Jack & Jill went up the hill
to smoke a little leaf.
Jack got high, pulled down his fly,
and Jill said, "Where's the beef?"
[Edited 4/22/2007 6:25:48 PM]
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| 4/22/2007 6:44:35 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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jojo05101
Brattleboro, VT
age: 41
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Single Woman's Prayer
Now I lay me down to sleep.
Please don't send me no more creeps.
Please just send me one good man.
One without a wedding band.
One good man who's sweet as pie.
Who brushed his teeth and doesn't lie.
Who dresses neat and doesn't smell.
And is sexy like my man Denzel.
Is super-rich like Michael J.
On second thought, that's okay.
Man, if I should die before I wake,
that would truly take the cake;
No matrimony or honeymoon.
No fancy reception planned for June.
No throwing of the wedding bouquet.
Please, God, don't let me go out that way.
If I die before I meet Mr. Right
I won't go out without a fight.
But then again with my luck,
He'd probably be just some schmuck.
The single life is not that bad
I know it's just a passing fad.
I won't be blue. I will not frown.
Besides, I like my toilet seat down.
No more makeup, won't comb my hair.
So never mind this stupid prayer.
The single life will do just fine.
So what's up, girlfriend?
IT'S PARTY TIME!!!!
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| 4/25/2007 6:44:43 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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shaina1
Big Rapids, MI
age: 34
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Why don't a penice have any brains? Cause it hangs around a couple of nutts and lives next door to an asshole!!!
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| 4/25/2007 10:40:12 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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queenofhearts61
Seymour, IN
age: 61 online now!
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Unboltedflame what did you mean by that remark about [nigga]? I can't believe you said that I think you owe an apology to every African-American on this site.
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| 4/26/2007 4:03:41 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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wolfy9459
Dayton, OH
age: 45
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Yep QOH I missed it the first time around. SCW was right no one said a thing about either. It was rude and uncalled for.
Kenny
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| 4/26/2007 4:41:26 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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eroticartist
West Harrison, NY
age: 48
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LMAO
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| 4/26/2007 5:37:40 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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jojo05101
Brattleboro, VT
age: 41
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FEMALE PRAYER
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,
Knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I pray that this man will love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.
Amen.
MALE PRAYER
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with great boobs who owns a liquor store and a bass boat.
This doesn't rhyme and I don't care.
[Edited 4/26/2007 5:38:09 PM]
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| 4/26/2007 6:00:08 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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eroticartist
West Harrison, NY
age: 48
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Jojo...LMFAO
you are too funny
I wish I could think of some
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| 5/3/2007 1:58:48 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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warthog
Denver, CO
age: 51
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Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
to get her poor daughter a dress
when she got there
the cupboard was bare
so was her daughter I guess!
While dining one night with the king
He did an amazing thing
He stood on a stool
and pulled out his tool
and said If I play will you sing?
A couple named Tom and Louise
do an act in the nude on their knees
they crawl down the aisle
forking dog style
while the orchestra plays Kilmer's Trees
Said the dour Duchess of Dray
it's been an extraordinary day
4 cherry tarts
3 brimming farts
2 shits and a roll in the hay
and one more to go overboard with
There once was a man from Nantucket
whose cork was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin
if my ear were a c@#% i would would fork it
apologies to any offended by the last one!
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| 5/5/2007 8:39:00 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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wolftearsfallin
La Porte, TX
age: 30
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LOL jojo I liked that one I think I might actually use it
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| 5/7/2007 9:29:50 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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sebo
Riverton, IL
age: 39
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The mans prayer
now i lay her down for sex
i pray that she is tight and wet.
but if she's loose and dry inside,
i pray her mouth can open wide.
AMEN
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| 5/7/2007 10:05:09 PM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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metu
Dahlonega, GA
age: 46 online now!
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There once was a young man from Eeling,
who pounded his pud with great feeling.
Then just like a trout,
he'd stick his tongue out,
And catch all the drops from the ceiling!
Don't ask me where the heck is EELING!
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| 5/8/2007 10:44:57 AM |
Adult Nursery Rhymes (must be sexually experienced to view!!!) |
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krupa
Abilene, TX
age: 39
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Oh GOD metu!!! That is wretched! Gotta say it had me laughing!
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