10/22/2009 5:26:34 PM |
How do you know.. |
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kryssy44
Tampa, FL
age: 25
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How do you know if a MAN is being honest or just telling you what you wanna hear to get what THEY want from you??
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10/22/2009 5:29:26 PM |
How do you know.. |
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jessmingler
Queensland
Australia
age: 45
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T I M E.....
People always show themselves.....in the end.
I have this mathematical equation I use for this kind of place.....take 50 % of WHO they say they are....and throw it out the door.
Look at the remaining 50% with a discerning eye....and a logical mind...and 98 % of the inconsistencies become obvious.
The remaining 2 %?
They're on my friend's list.
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10/22/2009 5:33:03 PM |
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wearp1
Steinbach, MB
age: 47 online now!
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if it sounds to good to be true it most often is.
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10/22/2009 5:41:10 PM |
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3asygoing
Dearborn, MI
age: 41
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most tell you what you want to hear because of what they want. Like it was said before time and patience it never pays to jump into something to soon its a cruel nasty world. A lot of the true blue honest people will be cautious if they are serious about finding somone. The odds arent good anywhere anymore unfortently due to lack of morales and not careing for anyone else but themselves is what most people are focused on today. poor sense of community or family in society much anymore. Poor sense of beliefs in god (or whatever name you wish to use) and the family unit is just about totaly destroyed by all this career persuing and instant gratification before thinking.
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10/22/2009 5:44:04 PM |
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awakeing
Walled Lake, MI
age: 37
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Well unless your willing to really educate yourself on the
science of liars, body language, the pattern called "cue grouping"
and willing to really invest time in learning to trust your own gut...
there is no way to prevent the damage a pathological liar can do to
you till it's much too late and you've learned the hard way.
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10/22/2009 5:55:02 PM |
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metu
Mansfield, TX
age: 48
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Their wiener gets longer...oh wait a minute...I was thinking about Pinnochio... There's no tried & true method...I've known some pretty slick liars...from BOTH sexes... You can only be super-observant & hope they trip themselves up sometime...
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10/22/2009 5:59:05 PM |
How do you know.. |
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waterloo_sunset
Coram, NY
age: 51 online now!
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Pay attention to detail. Even the most brilliant of liars will contradict themselves eventually.
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10/22/2009 6:02:57 PM |
How do you know.. |
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petron
Garland, TX
age: 48 online now!
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experience.
no easy way, most are painful experiences that equip you with flags for different aspects...
awakening said it, learn body language and human behaviour.
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10/22/2009 6:16:50 PM |
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siciliankiss66
Lawton, OK
age: 43
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I listen to my instincts. I have a pretty good feel for people and what my gut is telling me.
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10/22/2009 6:26:52 PM |
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spider77
Adamsville, AL
age: 58
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How do you know if a MAN is being honest or just telling you what you wanna hear to get what THEY want from you??
How do you know if a DR. or Lawyer is telling you the truth? Or other women? Its called playing the hand life deals you.
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10/22/2009 6:41:19 PM |
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ponie
Toledo, OH
age: 39 online now!
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How do you know if a MAN is being honest or just telling you what you wanna hear to get what THEY want from you??
There is a 100% chance that 50% of what they say is 85% true 43.9% of the time.
How do you know that the guy doesn't just want someone to trust him?
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10/22/2009 6:51:07 PM |
How do you know.. |
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i_am_bill
Astatula, FL
age: 50 online now!
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Well in your profile you say you have been through so much,,,,,if you are experiencing a pattern of picking bad partners then stop dating for a bit, find a counselor to help you figure out why you are engaging in this behavior and correct it. It takes alot of work.
I suspect you come from an upbringing full of chaos and possible abuse and now you, like so many others, are experiencing the ramifications of it.
And the beat goes on.
Bill.
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10/22/2009 6:52:22 PM |
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binderdundat
New Orleans, LA
age: 48
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Same as a woman.... time.
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10/22/2009 6:59:13 PM |
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victor_fury
Albany, GA
age: 58
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Pay attention to detail. Even the most brilliant of liars will contradict themselves eventually.
Talk just enough to make him talk more. You will get to the truth if you listen long enough.
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10/22/2009 7:21:26 PM |
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4seasonsnmt
Bozeman, MT
age: 52
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I listen to my instincts. I have a pretty good feel for people and what my gut is telling me.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement, to expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
If your just emailing and talking on the phone its hard... we all all yearning to find again... or just beginning.. follow your heart the gut instincts will tell you...the frist 10 mins in a conversation you will know.. instead of talking all good why not talk about the habits we all have and so on.. then you will know if they are being honest with themselves..
Know the person you are... the needs that YOUR LIFE contains. Trust in your deeply hidden feelings, because they show the person you are... have fun and take your time....Love is what's left in a relationship after all teh selfishness has been removed as I have said this in another blog....
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10/24/2009 9:31:34 AM |
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naychrfan
Winston Salem, NC
age: 46
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Take you & your feelings out of the equation while you size things up. Pretend what's his name is someone your friend is seeing and give yourself the advice you'd give your friend.
Watch what he does. If what he says and what he does contradict, he's lying. It's easier to speak a lie than to live one, so put more stock in what he is doing than what he is saying.
Above all, trust your instincts. The reason animals are less often fooled by bad people than their human counterparts (owners) is because animals listen to their instincts. If you are investing yourself in a person who brings out distrustfulness or weariness in you, you are investing yourself in the wrong person.
Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for being weary, either. Weariness doesn't come from a place of hate or wrongdoing, it comes from the unconsciousness (which doesn't cloud your thoughts with desire or agenda). It comes from a place of your brain telling you something your heart doesn't have the guts to and most likely doesn't want to hear.
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10/24/2009 9:46:03 AM |
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wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
age: 45
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His stories stay consistant over time. He does what he says he's going to do. He shows up when he says he will. Listen to your inner voice, your gut instinct. If you feel something is wrong investigate it.
[Edited 10/24/2009 10:01:54 AM PST]
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10/24/2009 10:19:18 AM |
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manifesting
West Islip, NY
age: 51
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Actions speak louder than words sometimes. Some people say one thing and do something all together different. But you need to be attentive.
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10/24/2009 11:20:07 AM |
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10_2ur_biz
Highland, CA
age: 43
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First you have to ask yourself what do you want from him. How do you go about getting that? Date older guys, they're not so addicted to the pink flower.
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10/24/2009 12:41:36 PM |
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beyonder47
Los Angeles, CA
age: 40
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How do you know if a MAN is being honest or just telling you what you wanna hear to get what THEY want from you??
Pay attention to his words and his actions. He's going to tell you what you want to hear, even if he's a good guy. He has to impress you to get you to date him. Whatever is done in the dark will come to light. The universe won't allow it to remain hidden. Time and patience will tell you all you need to know.
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10/24/2009 12:45:12 PM |
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reeseciz
Streetsboro, OH
age: 29
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okay can anyone help me been out of the dating world for almost 6 years and need some hel p to coast my way in
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10/24/2009 12:56:35 PM |
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singmesweet
West River, MD
age: 31
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Yep, it takes time, as others have said.
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10/25/2009 5:19:54 AM |
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itsclear
Fort Mohave, AZ
age: 47
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first tell the man what it is you want from them, and if he stays around
Then your offer is accepted.
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10/25/2009 6:56:25 AM |
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knightryder77
Middleburg, FL
age: 55
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How do you know if a MAN is being honest or just telling you what you wanna hear to get what THEY want from you??
Years ago there was a local band in Jacksonville called "Timepiece" They had a song entitled "The things you do will talk" Let that be your guide.
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10/25/2009 7:00:13 AM |
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mechelle725
Irving, TX
age: 47
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I like that, I could have used that last week on my date.
MeChelle
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10/25/2009 7:21:57 AM |
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canon55
Port Huron, MI
age: 56
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How do you know if a MAN is being honest or just telling you what you wanna hear to get what THEY want from you??
were his lips moveing ? if so he was probaly lieing
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10/25/2009 7:22:33 AM |
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gloriaschild
Atlanta, GA
age: 54
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Just keep listening....
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10/25/2009 7:39:37 AM |
How do you know.. |
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zipperlynn
Porterville, CA
age: 39
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Take you & your feelings out of the equation while you size things up. Pretend what's his name is someone your friend is seeing and give yourself the advice you'd give your friend.
Watch what he does. If what he says and what he does contradict, he's lying. It's easier to speak a lie than to live one, so put more stock in what he is doing than what he is saying.
Don't let anyone make you feel guilty for being weary, either. Weariness doesn't come from a place of hate or wrongdoing, it comes from the unconsciousness (which doesn't cloud your thoughts with desire or agenda). It comes from a place of your brain telling you something your heart doesn't have the guts to and most likely doesn't want to hear.
Great advice!!!
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10/29/2009 6:23:21 AM |
How do you know.. |
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stoneowl
Virginia Beach, VA
age: 51
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T I M E.....
People always show themselves.....in the end.
I have this mathematical equation I use for this kind of place.....take 50 % of WHO they say they are....and throw it out the door.
Look at the remaining 50% with a discerning eye....and a logical mind...and 98 % of the inconsistencies become obvious.
The remaining 2 %?
They're on my friend's list.
You nailed it, and good, too!
People aways do show themselves for who they are--look at people in this light, to only add a bit to Jess' understanding:
Actions speak more loudly than words, and when you can honestly tell someone that their actions speak so loudly for them that you can't bother listening toa word they say, THEN you really do have their number--that number should thus be "one less than the sum of you both together"
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10/29/2009 6:52:15 AM |
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lipzlikesuga
Nashville, TN
age: 31
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I try not to let him know what my red flags are...ya know, acting all nonchalant about everything...but deep down sizing him up and down, watching to see if what he has told me~ matches his actions...but not eXposing my real feelings. If he fails the test of my "secret deal breakers" he automatically gets the boot..no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
If he reaches the bar...this is where it gets tricky. A lot of times my feelings for the hot-N-sXy MacDaddy has matured, which means if I am not careful I could let my heart decide instead of my head. I am a touchy-feely kind of person and am in tune with my emotions.
If something was to surface that did not match up to what he told me...I would politely confront him about it. Before talking to him, I would already have evidence to back up my claim. If he is guilty and it is a deal breaker...he would get kicked to the curb with me.
I assume that ALL men will say anything to get in a gurl'Z pantZ....it is he who proves me wrong that I am attempting to locate...I hope I am not giving out too much "top secret" information...because THEY WILL USE IT TO THEIR ADVANTAGE IF THEY KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
Note: The caps are used to emphasize important info.
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10/29/2009 6:55:53 AM |
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sweetiepieslove
Orange Park, FL
age: 32
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The older you get, the more you date, the more you'll know.
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10/29/2009 7:08:24 AM |
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susansheart839
Port Saint Lucie, FL
age: 62
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Ask hard questions....like what's your social security number and date of birth? Then you can have him checked out and see if he is a felon or whatever
Seriously, though, I would suggest that you listen to your gut. Like Judge Judy says, if it doesn't make sense, it's not the truth. Sometimes someone's past is so wretched that they must lie to look normal, get it? Someone who has been married like 4 or 5 times will have a hard time finding a date because they aren't doing too well in the marriage department for whatever reason. So what do they do? They put their status as single on their profile
If you can't trust that guy, then do him and yourself a huge favor and move on.
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10/29/2009 7:11:45 AM |
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spider77
Adamsville, AL
age: 58
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How do men know when women are lying, hate these prejudiced threads.
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10/29/2009 7:48:04 AM |
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lipzlikesuga
Nashville, TN
age: 31
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OP,start by watching the guys youre with , action dictate ,words means d*ck.
OP, perhaps WestSideWILLIE should have said, "Watch the actions of a guy's di%%, because it d*cktates what words guys use when they want to get with you".
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10/29/2009 7:55:15 AM |
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bellaangelus
Niles, OH
age: 38
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I tried to push him away, gave him everyrason to walk away from me. I pushed him to the point that he broke and he still won't give up on us. I have told him it won't work because of the distance between us and he still won't give up. I have been hurt in every relationship I have had. My last one was a real trip, the day after he asked me to marry him he reasked his ex-wife. Guess the fact I said yes didn't matter but I was an adult about it and wished them both the best. If you want an honest opinion on a guy always go to the sister or mother, they warn you.
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10/29/2009 8:23:18 AM |
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happylisa
Broken Arrow, OK
age: 43
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Trust your own insticts but if your insticts always leads you to the jerks, then you dont have that to rely on. At that point, friends come in handy and time. Someone said actions, i agree but you can only see actions by giving the relationship time.
For me, I can just tell how down to earth a guy is by the conversations we have. You learn a lot about a person by just talking about family, actions in the past, why their marriage failed, why they got married in the first place, what do they want out of life...if the answer is you when you've only known him for a couple of days, you know he's not serious..at that point, i would either move on or he goes back on the friend's list that are not worth dating.
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10/29/2009 8:46:56 AM |
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lipzlikesuga
Nashville, TN
age: 31
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HappyLisa,
It is good to see you!!!
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10/29/2009 10:23:40 AM |
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barbaraajo
Reston, VA
age: 53
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unfortunatley, sometimes you don't
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10/29/2009 10:28:04 AM |
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becque
Flushing, NY
age: 48
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Inconsistencies....are usually a tell tale sign. As much as I like to believe that I can "read a person," sometimes they just fool you...Remember the saying," Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." If you keep rationalizing the lie (and I've done it myself) you have no one to blame but yourself..Just keep your eyes wide open.
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10/29/2009 10:39:21 AM |
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chucky_t
Akron, IN
age: 62 online now!
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I have to agree with listening to EVERY word he/she says. Pay attention to the details of what they say.
Most of them will screw up, they can never remember every lie.
Then again, being honest does not mean they are not a complete jerk. Just a very honest jerk...LOL
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10/29/2009 10:41:46 AM |
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the_fifer
Fife, Scotland
United Kingdom
age: 46
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man + honesty, in same sentence?
[Edited 10/29/2009 10:42:06 AM PST]
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10/29/2009 10:42:19 AM |
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legaleye
Columbus, OH
age: 57
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First....dont jump to conclusions. When you first meet someone, it is not incumbent on them, nor on you, to share every life tidbit they have. Next... spend a lot of time with the good candidates. The more you are with them, the more you learn, even if it is just about their bad habits that you dont care about. But as everyone has said, given enough time, the real person will eventually show up.
But ultimately its all in the chemistry. However, if one enters into dating with the assumption that someone wants something from you as their only goal, then you have set yourself up for failure. Bring a positive attitude, as I have learned, to dating, and assume that everyone is good and trustworthy (no, dont share your PIN number or hand over your credit card), until you have a darn good reason to think otherwise, and then, just enjoy yourself.
One more comment.... before embarking on a date, how much have you really learned about someone? Make sure you at least have some kind of idea (even if it is a bit enhanced) as to what the person is all about, so you can make a reasonable decision as to whether to go out in the first place.
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10/29/2009 10:54:29 AM |
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wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
age: 45
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You can tell by whether his lips are moving or not.
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10/31/2009 8:11:53 AM |
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pichick712
Brookhaven, PA
age: 51
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Assume they are lying and then be pleasantly surprised if they are telling the truth.
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10/31/2009 2:30:14 PM |
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askmrknowitall2
San Jose, CA
age: 59
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Little one there is no sercurity system that can keep out the professional thief. It his job and he works at it full time. And so it is with Con men , it's not ALWAYS possible to know when someone is trying to play you. Love is a risk, you must risk your heart. It doesn't matter what he's trying to get, it only matters what you want to give. Look at each man over a period of time and decide whether this man is worth your giving yourself to. Does he treat you right, does he spend time with you, are you his best friend not all of guy friends before you. You know how your best girl friend treats you ? The guy who loves you will treat you like that to. Sex and making love don't have a time when they begin, you must decide each time on the merits of the relatioship.
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11/1/2009 8:15:06 AM |
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happylisa
Broken Arrow, OK
age: 43
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HappyLisa,
It is good to see you!!!
Hey there, you changed your profile. Great to see you too. Not here as much as I used to but I still do try to post every now and then.
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11/1/2009 8:25:04 AM |
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longhairbadass
Durand, WI
age: 44
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Think without beergoggles. Works for me.
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11/1/2009 8:50:53 AM |
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dghorn
Assiniboia, SK
age: 46
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With time a liar will always mess up, but do not spend all your time waiting for it or looking for it will take away all the great moments that makes us happy, and you may loss what you have now.
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11/3/2009 8:01:09 AM |
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epiphany2
Houston, TX
age: 45
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dont sleep with him , and see how long he sticks around for?
I AGREE!!!!!
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11/3/2009 8:13:01 AM |
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1bigiron
Stafford, KS
age: 46
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I don't believe a word anyone says till i prove it to be the truth
It is the way the world taught me to be
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