| 12/31/2007 3:24:33 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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crazyblueeyes42
Ripley, WV
age: 47
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i believe u pay for yourself on the first date but if he insiste on paying let him he is a gentleman that way
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| 1/1/2008 7:09:56 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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advance4000
New Britain, CT
age: 40
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I always pay on the first date. Later when things get serious things start getting split down the middle. Thats what I've seen.
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| 1/2/2008 7:16:40 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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sistah69
Los Angeles, CA
age: 51
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If a man ask me out I do think he sould pay, and I have to agree with thebestman, if you can't pick me up then we can't go out.
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| 1/2/2008 7:23:09 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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prxf
Pittsburgh, PA
age: 53
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I always like to pay for my dates.
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| 1/3/2008 7:50:36 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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authentic48
Oakville, ON
age: 51
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For myself I prefer to pay my own way first meeting....! Despite being traditional, I do not like to feel beholden to anyone I have just met.
Neither do I like them to feel beholden to me in anyway. I do however, know exactly what it is I expect from a man despite the confusion of the "so called" modern day men and woman.
I like to think I am well aware of the "natural" order of things.
On first dates, however, I live by these rules...........
My own car
My own money
and....
this gives me....
the freedom of choice, thought and movement
something I value highly, along with freedom of thought, speech and movement
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| 1/3/2008 7:51:51 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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cherokeerose07
Pottsboro, TX
age: 50
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THE MAN, a true gentleman..
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| 1/3/2008 8:01:29 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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nicksterdemus
Bastelica
France
age: 50
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I ain't  puttin' out if I have 2 buy my own grub...
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| 1/3/2008 10:28:26 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
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well said sistah and good point authentic
whether i go dutch or pay on the first date. i'm still a gentleman in my dates eyes because of my all around actions. being a man encompasses more than just paying on the first date. it involves other actions also throughout and thereafter. just ask all the women who didn't want to go on a second date even though a man paid on the first date. just ask all the women about men trying to touch feel and other things that turn women off because they have expectations just because they paid lol... not saying all men do that. but let's not kid ourselves here.
i'm not against paying on the first date with an exception of what i already discussed. however, just because a man pays on the first date doesn't mean that he's going to be a gentleman throughout the night or even the second date for that matter.
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| 1/3/2008 4:29:51 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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bobby57530
Jacksonville, FL
age: 54
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 Easy there....I was asked to go out to dinner so I said great , you pick the place and I pay. Boy what a surprize when each meal was $ 50.00 or more . In NYC thats common...And what a liar . Picks were more that 10 years old.
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| 1/3/2008 4:53:07 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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prxf
Pittsburgh, PA
age: 53
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Tell me that was $50 total and not per person. I know in NYC it can be expensive. I once went to a spanish disco and they charged $18 for entry fee.
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| 1/3/2008 5:14:48 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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dragan
Clinton Township, MI
age: 41
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I guy should pay.
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| 1/4/2008 9:07:54 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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winesong
Bend, OR
age: 62
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This has been most interesting...
I am more interested in the *reasoning for picking up the woman at her house*.
I think it has been agreed that in the world we live in today, with the Internet, the cell phone, fax machine, Fed Ex and instant boarding passes from your computer the world has changed. Traditional items have been replaced...like the boarding pass the counter person issued you at the airport. Travel Agent? Good luck! They are have pretty much closed down as they cannot survive the self help on the internet.
There are so few things that resemble life from 20 years ago. I love the new conveniences, and time savers. The computer eats up a lot of time, and offers many forms of entertainment. Look at DH...it is like going to the coffee shop or c*cktail lounge and participating at a CHEERS BAR.
As far as knowing where a woman lives on the first date..I think that is going out of the traditional pattern for most men. BESTman how would you like a woman to come to your home, (that you have not met) before you know who she is, what her values are? Some people are just whackos....
STALKERS come in both species...
So far, I have not met one person that I would be fearful of...
however, I do not want them to see my lifestyle before they know me as a person.
People might assume that you live a life beyond their comfort level. That has nothing to do with the *if my money is good enough* theory.
Starbucks works great for a neutral meeting place. I think a casual first meeting is java, soda or wine/beer.
If you find that you like the person and want to see them again, perhaps dinner or lunch time meal is the choice, depends on the financial comfort level. If I like a person, I might offer to do a BBQ at my place.
Wine
Dream Weaver
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| 1/4/2008 9:35:22 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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prxf
Pittsburgh, PA
age: 53
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For the most part, I think yesteryear was better(my growing up). Some changes I can live with, some, I'm not ready for.
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| 1/4/2008 9:45:11 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
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at winesong... the purpose of me picking a woman at their house is not only a traditional gentleman thing I like to do and my choice, but it also shows contradiction in the so called term many use "traditional". allowing a man to pick her up is "traditional". I've already discussed this ealier in this post. Also, my opinion is that if you are going to be contemporary i.e. meeting up, there's nothing wrong wtih that, but in that case, let's go dutch. this is the first time of course, and you don't feel comfortable and she doesn't feel that comfortable with me yet.
Many use the term tradtional, yet use contemporary ways when it's convenient and use traditional ways when it's convenient. my thing is, you cant' have your cake and eat it too.
I don't mind paying on the first date. I've stated that already. There are always exceptions to a rule. We don't live in a perfect world.
I don't mind meeting up on the first date. but if she's not comfortable meeting me picking her up, then like i said numerous times already, then she shouldn't be comfortable with me spending money on her that night - just my opinion.
And I will add, that I don't have women disappointing and becoming fustrated because i can't get second dates if I use this method based on the scenerio discussed. Where do you get off under the assumtion of stalking lmao lmao???? Let me add that just because I pick a lady at her house DOES NOT mean I am or will become a stalker. that's never been my style + i don't have time for that. Furthermore, if dutch was so bad as some people want to portray it to be, I would have never received second dates. Furthermore, who's to say that if a woman waits for a man to go to her house he's not going to stalk her in the future???? who's to say that just because a man pays on the first date he won't be violent in the future???? Your attempt to talk about stalking in regards to picking up on the first date is off base because #1 it depends on the man not whether he picks her up at her house on the first date or not. if the guy is an a** he's an a** plain and simple. he can become a stalker even if he pays and or waits to go to her house.
Let me also state winesong, that the so called leisurely tradional method of paying on the first date doesn't actually mean that a man is a complete gentleman or not. How many dates actually gone sour after the fact??? How many women have actually used men on dates? How many men have constantly called women 100s of times after a woman have written them off even though they paid. My point is there's nothing wrong with paying on the first date, but it goes more than just paying on the first date. He can still be an ass. I'm not bashing men who pay on the first date, but you cannot make all these false allegations as to whether a man is a gentleman, stalker etc... just because he and or both decides to go dutch. It's a choice base on circumstance or feeling.
[Edited 1/4/2008 9:59:39 AM PST]
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| 1/4/2008 9:46:44 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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lust4love
Atco, NJ
age: 39
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If a older women chases a younger man she should be prepared to Pay the bill. if the guy is older than he can be the sugar daddy and pay. Im not treating an older broad like
shes younger than me.
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| 1/4/2008 12:17:01 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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tara_tx
Angleton, TX
age: 46
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Either is acceptable, in my opinion, as long as you've worked it out before you meet. Personally, I like the idea of no pressure on either side, at a coffee house, buy your own cup. Of course, if you really like the person, you can change your mind and offer to "get it" once you've met up 
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| 1/4/2008 2:33:39 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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healthologist
Page, AZ
age: 62
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Aren't we all haveing a really wonderful first date right now?
I guess it's dutch because I'm paying for my connection and you're paying for all your connections.
Now as far as the second date goes, friends don't let friends go broke.
Just how much is a cup of coffee these days?
If you wan't to do something I don't think I can afford, I'll let you know.
 
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| 1/4/2008 3:26:00 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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that_wd_b_me
Essex Junction, VT
age: 52
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Ladies,you've come a long way baby first date,Dutch is the way to go,I believe a coffee date is the best,get your cup sit and talk.That way if the redflags pop up either one can just say thanks,but I'm not feeling you- and bail.Any woman who needs to be bribed to spend time with a man,is probably only looking for whatever she can get.There are plenty of AFC's out there more than willing to give it them,but IMO it's a mug's game.Being a gentleman [and I am] is expressed in a thousand little ways.
[Edited 1/4/2008 3:38:46 PM PST]
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| 1/4/2008 5:12:19 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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prxf
Pittsburgh, PA
age: 53
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It's good to see that there are some who agree with me that the guy should pay.
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| 1/4/2008 6:04:25 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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goldarnit
Saint Paul, MN
age: 49
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go dutch...keeps the peace...
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| 1/4/2008 9:10:01 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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winesong
Bend, OR
age: 62
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THESE ARE THE RESULTS OF YOUR POLE, THUS FAR....
1. The Man
73% (34)
2. Dutch Treat
26% (12)
46 total votes
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| 1/4/2008 9:22:34 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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sidman
Grand Junction, CO
age: 32
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I'am tridictional, but if the woman wants to go dutch thats ok too.
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| 1/4/2008 10:26:35 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
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@ winesong people can see the results on the first page, but thanks for posting anyway... and that's what it is, only results.
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| 1/5/2008 7:48:22 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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bubbadt
Kennedy, NY
age: 67 online now!
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This question is being worn down to paper thin.
A Man who is sincere will always pay.
A man looking for a cheap date is not.
I dont see where picking up a date at
her home should classify for him paying
for the date, or not.
In todays society, any smart woman would
never allow a cyber date to come to her
home. This could be tragic at best.
If your interested enough to date.
Be interested enough to pay.
Some guys just gotta push for having
their way, if not they have to make
a big issue over it.
I would hope women would not give out
their address or phone no. to any
stranger, if a guy insists blow him off or away.
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| 1/6/2008 8:18:48 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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prxf
Pittsburgh, PA
age: 53
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Why would anyone invite a first date to their home at first meeting? Those with any sense would keep the first get together in a public place(imo).
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| 1/6/2008 9:59:47 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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babs218
Brick, NJ
age: 57
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yeah bubba ..worn to paper thin....even though i've been called a goldigger...i'm sticking to my guns....the man pays...and don't get me started on this again
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| 1/6/2008 3:12:16 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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valeriesugar
Lowell, MA
age: 50
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Which is most acceptable and why? That would have to depend on who you are asking? If I were asked out by a Man I met on line; having previous experience of course, and lessons that have already been experienced, I would bring my own cash to buy myself a beverage, my own lunch and leave it at that! Women never go anywhere where you believe that he may have something else in mind. Always bring enough cash on a credit card of course where you have enough credit to make it there, treat yourself, and enough to get home because remember they are "Just MEN!" Long story short? I met a man in a Pogo game room, it so happens that I just finished my Legal studies at a private school in Boston. He came in crying about wanting a divorce, the thing he wished to leave behind wouldn't agree with his terms that if she wanted it, she would pay. So day after day that is what he cried about, moaned and groaned continuously, same room, same time, and "I could take NO MORE OF IT." So one Friday night at 8:15 pm, in he came, drunk as a skunk, complaining same blow by blow, and I said "ENOUGH." "Where do you live and do you have a week to give me information, I will serve her and in a week, you will be threw." YES, I DID. New Your; Birmingham, Superior Court, I did the paper work, filed out all the forms, served her, waited the time needed and went home. Why? Did I go home? Because after I did all of this, the cost of the 8 hour trip there and 10 hours to get back to MA. He called me collect and to return the favor to me for being so kind to him, he offered to MARRY ME??? I asked him why he thought I would, I know why she left you, ALCOHOLISM, GREEDY, SELFISH, and more than I would want to handle. Now STOP your whining, please?
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| 1/15/2008 10:40:02 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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mariabfly
Fairburn, GA
age: 34
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When the man pays it says to me... he can handle things, men should always come baring gifts, but we all know that because of how society has become alot of things are different. call me old fashion I guess. So fella come prepared , but if she offers let her pick up the check because maybe she understands that you need to feel catered to as well.
Both ways are acceptable because no matter what gender we are we are all humans with feelings. 
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| 1/20/2008 7:08:26 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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areyou4me_79
Jonesboro, AR
age: 31
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Usually i pay. I have never asked a guy to pay. Because I always choose the place, so i don't mind paying.
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