| 12/28/2007 2:52:35 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
| 1. The Man |
| 2. Dutch Treat |
Which is most acceptable and why?
Meet singles in your area here at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free for everything! Join now!
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| 12/28/2007 4:00:42 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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tnquality
Union City, TN
age: 34
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because you never know he may not like you and leave you with the bill anyway.lol
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| 12/28/2007 4:31:46 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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redh_realtor
Cincinnati, OH
age: 32
|
Even if the women winked first- The man should pay. For 1- if the man is a TRUE man there shouldn't be an question of this. If the women ends up paying it just starts the relationship off in a very negative way. That's my vote....
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| 12/28/2007 4:48:57 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
age: 21
|
for the first date a guy should treat unless she asked him out, then dutch treat.
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| 12/28/2007 5:24:25 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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dutchboy4u
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 46
|
YOU DO. The man pays. Its been that way since the days of the caveman before there was money. Some women may offer, I attempt to reject their offer. If they push, I let them pay half or whatever they want. When I show up, I expect to pay. That's the gentleman's way of handling this.
<--------DUTCH, AND I'LL TREAT! 
[Edited 12/28/2007 5:27:16 PM PST]
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| 12/28/2007 6:01:08 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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cooltammy45
Eugene, OR
age: 47
|
I have to say the Dutch thing is best unless he insists on paying. If you go with this in mind there will be no embarrassing moments. But then this is just JMO and no one else's. I have been on a couple of dates and both times the guys paid, but I came prepared to pay for myself. 
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| 12/28/2007 6:03:43 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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amsterdamned
Saint Louis, MO
age: 38
|
I am traditional,,,The man should always pay. I mean I had girsl pay before, but I put up a ifght and argued, but the polite thing for a guy to do is to pay. at least the first date.
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| 12/29/2007 11:00:50 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
Here's my thing, if you meet someone online and she doesn't allow you to pick her up, then DUTCH treat. If I'm not good enough to pick you up and or you are not comfortable for me to pick you up to for a date, then you shouldn't feel comfortable with my money. So dutch is the best way to go. If you going to be traditional, be traditional all the way. If you want a man to be a man etc... pay etc... let him pick you up otherwise dutch treat.
However, if she feels comforatble in me to pick her up, then I will pay.
Same rules apply if I meet someone offline.
[Edited 12/29/2007 11:02:58 AM PST]
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| 12/29/2007 11:03:24 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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lust4love
Atco, NJ
age: 39
|
White women will beat us down if we dont pay brother.
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| 12/29/2007 11:12:24 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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rashawn
Parsons, KS
age: 50
|
If a man asked a woman out then he should pay. Whether they meet online or off!
If the woman does the asking she should be prepared to pay! But most men will offer to pay anyway.
I have been known to let him pay for dinner but then I will offer to pay for the movie or drinks!
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| 12/29/2007 11:43:50 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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lust4love
Atco, NJ
age: 39
|
i think rashawn likes you bestman
[Edited 12/29/2007 11:44:33 AM PST]
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| 12/29/2007 12:31:46 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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lotus3
Venice, FL
age: 57
|
I prefer dutch, on a first date. I see no reason why, in this day and age when women are out in the work force, that the entire expense of a first date, falls on the man, especially with online dating..it could be just the one date..this way no harm, no foul.
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| 12/29/2007 12:57:06 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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sweettater1001
North Fort Myers, FL
age: 62
|
Honest I answered before looking at the results. I had my first date? or meeting with an online lady several weeks ago. We met at a restaurant and had dinner. There was no, no no, no, and one more no chemistry from either one of us. To make a long story short she said that she would pay the check since she had kind of invited me to dinner, I told her that I wanted her to remember me as a gentleman, I paid the check we went our separate ways. I have never heard from her and you wonder, why? Do women really want gentlemen or bad boys?
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| 12/29/2007 2:46:32 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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1_kuki
Lynnwood, WA
age: 45
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always on first date
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| 12/29/2007 6:20:44 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
at lust4love what makes you think she likes me lol
[Edited 12/29/2007 6:21:05 PM PST]
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| 12/29/2007 6:24:45 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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hotdogz
Swansea, MA
age: 37
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i believe he should always pay but thats just me
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| 12/29/2007 6:25:23 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
@ sweettatter i hear ya man! don't get me wrong, i think a man should pay on the first date. however, like i stated above, if i'm not good enough to pick a lady up and she prefers to meet for whatever reason, then my money shouldn't be good enough. dutch treat then. oh, and by the way, i've paid 90% of the time and went on dutch 10%before with equally good results leading into relatinships.
[Edited 12/29/2007 6:27:24 PM PST]
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| 12/29/2007 6:29:59 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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amberism
Charleston, SC
age: 27
|
If it's a local meet, I think the woman should at least offer to pay for herself. I prefer it dutch so I don't feel like I owe him anything.
In a case like I have coming up, he's flying to me, halfway across the country, at his expense. I don't intend for him to spend a dime while he's here, which I think is very fair given the circumstance.
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| 12/29/2007 6:33:20 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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seawench1
Maricopa, AZ
age: 57
|
A true gentleman always pays.
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| 12/29/2007 6:34:52 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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newfiegirl18
Stratford, ON
age: 20
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i am a new age woman any thing a man can do a women can do too 
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| 12/29/2007 6:55:02 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
@ seawench, just because a man pays, doesn't always mean he's a true gentleman. many women have seen true colors as they progress in a relation. and even on a date where a man pays, doesn't always equate to a happy ending.
again, i'm not saying a man shouldn't pay on the first date, but there are a couple of instances when dutch would be the best option.
[Edited 12/29/2007 6:59:14 PM PST]
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| 12/29/2007 6:56:17 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
@ amberism more and more women these days are using this philosophy.
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| 12/29/2007 7:42:57 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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seawench1
Maricopa, AZ
age: 57
|
i just come from a different era I guess and the man always paid and I have always been treated as a lady and always will expect to be.
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| 12/29/2007 7:51:09 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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cherry_lyn
Cavite
Philippines
age: 27
|
The Man... because usually, he is the one asking for a date. What I am saying is, the one who asked for the date should be the one to pay
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| 12/29/2007 8:03:50 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
@ seawench, excellent point. the dating scene is definately different now than years ago. the dynamics have changed a lot in the dating scene today than 10,20,30+ years ago.
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| 12/29/2007 8:06:38 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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winesong
Bend, OR
age: 62
|
Want to be treated special as a man, show her that you have command of the book on social etiquette. Open the door, help with a chair, order for the lady after she gives you the desired item from the menu. Be subtle, and go to the men's room, and settle the check while away from the table...nice touch. Avoid the obvious discussion about the check. I do not see the logic of picking up a woman at her place, in order for you to enact the qualities of a gentleman.
Displaying that you know etiquette is a wonderful trate..
it sets you apart from the herd. .
and no sex on the first date is not a part of the deal...no obligations, other than courtesy to one another.
Wine
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| 12/29/2007 9:52:46 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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lattml
Hazleton, PA
age: 43
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I pay. No question.
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| 12/29/2007 11:32:01 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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cullingsong
Ayden, NC
age: 42
|
A real man would know the answer to this.
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| 12/30/2007 12:29:30 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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racefan6
Springfield, IL
age: 48
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is the proper way to do it
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| 12/30/2007 12:45:07 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
@ wine, i get treated very special on all dates, albiet a couple of dates i went dutch based on what i've said already in the post, and when i pay and do other things to show gentleman like qualities. i'm not a novice to the dating or relationship game. however, it is what it is. if i meet someone who i don't know from adam, and if we speak a few times online, and she doesn't allow me to pick her up, then not only my opinion but others dutch is the best option. never been turned down for a second date in this scenerio. that's just my choice worked for me.
however, if i meet someone albeit online or in person and if she thinks i'm good enough to pick her up and show her a good time which i will do, then my money is good enough. that's my opinion and i never got any complaints.
what's not being discussed is how many men, will spend money on a date, then complain when women don't go out with them again after the first date. was he really a gentleman, or did something he do mess it up or was she playing him? kinda contradicts the perfect gentleman philosophy.
and for the record when i ask a woman out i always pay unless she feels as though i'm not good enough to pick her up
[Edited 12/30/2007 12:47:58 PM PST]
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| 12/30/2007 12:51:20 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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adelinesmother
Fremont, NE
age: 39
|
i think if the first date was a mutual idea. It should be dutch.
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| 12/30/2007 12:58:16 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
at adelines, many women do actually use the philosophy you stated and are ok with it.
Ultimately, dutch doesn't determine what type a man or perfect gentleman he is, especially if it is mutual. if at the end of the meal he then throws, let's go dutch, that would be wrong. It must be mutual from the beginning. Anyone can put on a BIG FRONT on the first date. It's how consistent and good a MAN treats a woman thereafter and during the date, which determines if he's a gentleman or not. many contradicting statements in this post have me laughing lol but that's ok.
Again, some men, not all, who are supposedly the perfect gentleman because he pays on the first date albeit meeting online end up with no return calls, no second dates. Now why was that if he was a perfect gentleman? lol lol
[Edited 12/30/2007 1:01:33 PM PST]
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| 12/30/2007 2:16:40 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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luthak
Federal Way, WA
age: 47
|
Bestman, why would you be offended by not being able to pick up a woman on the first time meeting? I never have someone pick me up on the first meet. Take your own car meet in public. That way the person doesnt know where you live in case it doesn't work out, especially with the stalkers out there.
[Edited 12/30/2007 2:17:53 PM PST]
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| 12/30/2007 2:30:27 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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sharibee
San Jose, CA
age: 37
|
Ok, I had a bad situation on my very first date. We did not discuss who was to pay. We took separate cars and met at a local place for drinks  . I had 1 drink and he had 3  . When the bill came he grabbed the tab (wow, what I gentleman I thought) he then gave the tab to bartender and said, charge 1/2 on mine and the other 1/2 on hers. WHAT?? I don't mind doing separate checks but I am not ok with splitting it down the middle  . Needless to say, date #2 is not happening.
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| 12/30/2007 2:32:49 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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kcnsingle
Kansas City, MO
age: 49
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Guess I'm old school ..but I don't care who asked ...I pay first and every time
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| 12/30/2007 2:44:43 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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luvinlifetothem
Biddeford, ME
age: 43
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Whoever asked for the date. Although its nice if the guy offers...depending on the circumstances I might accept or not.
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| 12/30/2007 3:16:06 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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gotawaywthit
Manassas, VA
age: 42
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the man ! and if any kind of connection and we both want to see each other again I will go dutch !! 
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| 12/30/2007 3:27:53 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
@ qazy guy i would agree with you, but being that the feminist movement happened years ago, and happening more and more, traditional rules only apply when it's convenient for a lot of women. and by the way, men didn't start the feminist movement by the way
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| 12/30/2007 3:28:28 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
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@ cleek my point exactly.
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| 12/30/2007 3:29:35 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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wildfire200184
Lindale, GA
age: 35
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i think the man should pay for the first date
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| 12/30/2007 3:30:32 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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magicmanooo7
Pineville, LA
age: 36
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definately the man..and he should pay for everything else too...unless she really wants to pick up the tab herseklf...lol
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| 12/30/2007 3:34:00 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
at luthak, i wouldn't say i'm totally offended. i've had a couple of dates like these. again, it's my personal choice. i feel as though if you want to be traditional be traditional all the way then, have me pick you up and take you out for a good time and pay. if i'm not good enough to pick you up (traditional by the way) for the first date, then my money isn't good enough to pay either.
again, i've went dutch for these type scenerios and had great results and no hard feelings from a female and actually had relationships from going dutch. so if it was so bad as some people make, i wouldn't have had good results from it.
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| 12/30/2007 3:36:26 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
sharibee, i totally agree with you. as i discussed earlier, dutch should be communicated from the start so there won't be any suprises.
when i go out on a date and pick up a woman, i always pay. she's demonstrated that she's comfortable with me picking her up (traditional) so i'm traditional in paying. if she doesn't show traditional, that's perfectly fine, but you can't have your cake and eat it to.
[Edited 12/30/2007 3:38:33 PM PST]
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| 12/30/2007 3:42:11 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
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@ wildfire, i think so too with a few exceptions
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| 12/30/2007 4:22:10 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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lust4love
Atco, NJ
age: 39
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just the way she answer the question.
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| 12/30/2007 4:32:04 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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canufi6my
Lawrenceville, GA
age: 60 online now!
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Depends on who has the best coupons!
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| 12/30/2007 6:22:00 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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dkitten
Cincinnati, OH
age: 33
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reguarless wether it's the man or the woman, whoever asked for the date should be prepared to pay for it. If i ask someone out, wether it's a female friend or a date situation i expect to pay for it. If i begin to pick up the tab & the guy jumps in to pay some or all of it then great but if not no big deal. But if i'm asked out i am not going with the expectation of paying for myself & certainly not him. It should be that simple. Don't ask someone out if you don't have the money to take them out to begin with.
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| 12/30/2007 6:50:48 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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rainfall
Covington, GA
age: 20
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Well, I think that when a man asks a woman out, especially on a first date then he pays. But I wouldn't automatically stick him with the bill, so ladys should come prepared to pay their half.
I do have old fashioned views, but I also think that unless he says that he's paying it's rude to assume he is.
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| 12/30/2007 7:18:48 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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magichoney62
Poteet, TX
age: 48
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Ask before you go out and always take your own money you mit have to pay for yourself if he doesn't like you.
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| 12/30/2007 8:06:09 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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lovelylady318
Canfield, OH
age: 50
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I think if you meet online, meeting someone should always be done by meeting at an appropriate place. In today's world, it is safer. I also think the man should pay, but no reason why the woman could not treat him another time.
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| 12/30/2007 8:08:38 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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lovelylady318
Canfield, OH
age: 50
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get off the pick her up bit, its the world today that makes a woman want to meet on the first date. Plus I have my own money and have no problem paying for myself.
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| 12/30/2007 11:03:36 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
@ lovely lady with all due respect, that's my choice and it hasn't failed me yet, nor have I had any bad dates with that philosophy. and the women respected my decision. so evidently, i must bring some positive energy and other intangibles to the table on the first date. and like i said before, if it was such a bad idea, i wouldn't have entered relations during these scenerios. i have my reasons which I go dutch in this scenerio openly discussed in a forum for opinions. if it isn't broken, i won't fix it. i'm confident in my demeanor and personality that going dutch based on meeting or paying for a date doesn't make a difference with me.
and like i said previously, a man picking up a woman on the first date is tradtional. a woman wants traditional right? so why not be traditional in letting me pick a lady up. that's my opinion and that won't change. and it doesn't make me a bad gentleman for having those viewpoints on that scenerio.
and for the record, i too think a man should pay on the first date, with of course one or two exceptions.
[Edited 12/30/2007 11:08:36 PM PST]
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| 12/30/2007 11:24:53 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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ericr64
Mount Pleasant, MI
age: 45 online now!
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I do.
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| 12/30/2007 11:28:29 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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smilesalot2
Smithtown, NY
age: 48
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Since the first date usually consists of coffee...whats the big deal...I'll buy the second cup.........
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| 12/30/2007 11:28:29 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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mfpc58
Woodlyn, PA
age: 51
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I guess I'm old fashioned. I like to pick up the check...
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| 12/30/2007 11:29:50 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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llama0755
Delaware, OH
age: 21
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i always pay and pick her up its only right
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| 12/31/2007 7:30:02 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
@ llama exactly... both picking a girl up and paying on the first date are traditional. so my thing is, if a woman wants to be traditional, let's be traditional all the way, not 1/2 way. if a woman wants to be contemporary, then let's be contemporary and go dutch then. nothing wrong with that at all if the situation calls for it.
[Edited 12/31/2007 7:43:44 AM PST]
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| 12/31/2007 7:34:28 AM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 36
|
to those who are old fashioned men and women, there's nothing wrong with that. my argument would be many people are selective in deciding when to be old fashioned and contempary out of convenience and benefit to them which is a total contradiction. being old fashioned consists of a lot more than just a guy paying on the first date. old fashioned behavior evolves more for both sexes. the question one must ask him or herself is whether the other person is exhibiting old fashioned values as well. either you are old fashioned or contemporary. having your cake and eating it too, doesn't reap benefits for the long term, only short term.
[Edited 12/31/2007 7:36:48 AM PST]
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| 12/31/2007 3:18:35 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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canufi6my
Lawrenceville, GA
age: 60 online now!
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Depends on whose got the best wheels. She drives,I'll pay every time.
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| 12/31/2007 3:20:44 PM |
Online Dating. For the first date who pays? |
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irishlass1216
Florida, NY
age: 47
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I always offer to split and see where it goes. If he pays for dinner I will pay for movies or some other activity so at least all of it doesn't fall on his shoulders.
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