The study might be 15 years old but TODAY in psychology classes in SECULAR schools professors will teach the same thing that this study says. Go figure. That is just one short synopsis that I posted of MANY that were on the web when I searched it, which is why the link is there. Anyone that was really interested in the topic would do research into it and find what is out there themselves not leave it to chance opinions on a dating forum. Really, it's not that hard to find this stuff. Why don't you see if you can find article that advocate it and the success rate of it. I'd love to hear the flip side.
| 1/30/2010 7:57:19 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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sky2010
Penticton, BC
age: 62
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Why is it that couples can live common-law for years with no serious problems but the minute they get married problems arise and within a few years they are in divorce court.
This has always puzzled me. Any insight would be welcomed:
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| 1/30/2010 9:59:34 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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redheadguy
Defiance, IA
age: 41
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The minute, she eats the wedding cake, she no longer likes sex, and starts nagging.
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| 1/30/2010 9:59:37 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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justpolitics
Janesville, WI
age: 45
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Marriage is a vow for life-long commitment. That type of commitment survives the test of time and fails in many cases.
Living together is a different mindset, there is always an easy out. jmo
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| 1/30/2010 10:24:28 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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katrinasq
Pearcy, AR
age: 41
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Maybe they thought they were committed until they got married, and ended up feeling trapped or smothered? Dunno.
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| 1/30/2010 10:30:04 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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justpolitics
Janesville, WI
age: 45
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Maybe they thought they were committed until they got married, and ended up feeling trapped or smothered? Dunno.
If they start to feel trapped or smothered they were not ready to marry. It is soooo easy to get married but very painful to get divorced. Emotionally and financially and esteem wise. In divorce, someone always has to start the procedure and then they are left holding the guilt bag. jmo
Feeling trapped comes after people get married, as one person or the other tries to be the controller. Feeling smothered is because you are controlled. People change as the age, and most marriages don't adapt and stay in tact during this process.
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| 1/31/2010 4:03:39 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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itsclear
Fort Mohave, AZ
age: 48
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probably because they only got married hoping it would solve issues they already had
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| 1/31/2010 4:16:42 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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howlingwolf
Marion, OH
age: 69
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My best friend was just the opposite..He got married and they seperated 3 times over about 3 years then came the divorce. They got back together 6 months later and have been living together now for the last 12 years. I was always there for him when things went bad but never took sides with either of them because there is always 2 sides to every story and it was not for me to judge either of them. We are all still best friends and will be forever.
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| 1/31/2010 1:04:16 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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esmeraldar
Toms River, NJ
age: 91
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I heard of one couple who divorced but continued to live together. The wife said that the ring made her feel like she was trapped. I think once it becomes legal, you feel like you are forced to stay together "til death you do part". Divorces are messy and mainly benefit attorneys. You can tell that I'm not a big fan of marriage.
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| 1/31/2010 1:17:49 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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bigbazborn
Buellton, CA
age: 45 online now!
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Can't we just live illegaly or in un-common law or something exciting?  
[Edited 1/31/2010 1:18:03 PM ]
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| 1/31/2010 2:04:57 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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scottm54
Abilene, TX
age: 55
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I'm guessing in most cases one of them figured he/she no longer had to give either sex or something else once the knot was tied. Then there's that loss of freedom too.
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| 1/31/2010 2:18:34 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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dinkasu48
Henderson, TX
age: 49
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The minute, she eats the wedding cake, she no longer likes sex, and starts nagging.
the minute he eats the wedding cake, he starts lying and belittling, his thing don't work
unless espn is turned off by his choice...
naw... really I have no idea...
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| 1/31/2010 2:32:09 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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tallangel64
Lincolnton, NC
age: 46
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I don't proclaim to have insight on why this is but i agree it often plays out that way. Not sure why. I have thought about the prospect of marriage in my future and I'm just not comfortable that I'd wanna go there again. However, I'm currently in a relatively new but committed relationship.
I like being in a committed relationship but wonder how it will work out for the future. I do want to be committed in a "forever" kind of way but I don't want to be married. I know thats wishy washy and seems indecisive but it's just the way it is for me. I don't feel the need to get married. I would be most content right now to be perpetually engaged. You know, each of us publicly taken and spoken for ,so to speak, but no immediate plans for marriage.
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| 1/31/2010 2:50:16 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
age: 46
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Probably has something to do with the studies done that show there is a higher percentage of break up after living together then getting married.
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| 1/31/2010 4:03:37 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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rockpillow
Grafton, ND
age: 47
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I wonder if the expectation don't change and compromises lost.
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| 1/31/2010 4:40:50 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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thanatos1369
Urbana, IL
age: 37
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I guess I would have a different opinion on this matter. The best way to ruin a great relationship is to get married. There are several opinions on this matter, and I have posted a few below here.
Men marry women and don't want them to change, yet they do. Women marry men hoping to change them, yet they don't.
What's the biggest turn-off for a woman? Wedding Cake
What's the biggest turn-off for a man? Wedding ring
What's the last thing a man wants to sign? A wedding license certificate
What's the best 10 yr anniversary present? A divorce attorney
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| 1/31/2010 4:48:20 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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riverjet88
Conroe, TX
age: 55
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The minute, she eats the wedding cake, she no longer likes sex, and starts nagging.
MARRIED OR NOT. IF THE SEX GOES I GO. ( Got to show them that they don't have the only one in town ) 
[Edited 1/31/2010 4:50:34 PM ]
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| 1/31/2010 5:19:38 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
age: 46
|
http://divorce.suite101.com/article.cfm/living_together_before_marriage
According to a new research study, living together before marriage may increase the chance of divorce. Cohabitation is a positive factor for divorce, which sounds good, but actually means that couples who live together are more likely to split up after marriage.
Living Together Before Marriage - Statistics
This information is based upon a 5-year study by Scott Stanley, a psychologist at the University of Denver. Stanley has been interested in the subject of cohabitation for the past 15 years, after he read a 1995 report on the subject.
Thirty years ago, apartment owners seldom allowed unmarried couples to rent a place together, but times have changed, and today, living together before marriage is a common occurrence. Often, the reason is financial, but sometimes people just live together out of loneliness.
The Denver study found that out of 1,050 married people, 19 percent of those who "lived together" before marriage had talked to their spouse about divorce. In the control group who did not live together, only 10 percent had brought up divorce. This means that twice as many people who cohabitated had wanted a divorce enough to tell their partner. These numbers confirm the outcome of the earlier, 1995 study.
Dr. Stanley concludes that many people, who lived together, are less dedicated to making the marriage succeed than those who never had the same premarital address.
Read more at Suite101: Living Together Before Marriage: http://divorce.suite101.com/article.cfm/living_together_before_marriage#ixzz0eF7bIeQc
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| 2/2/2010 12:21:26 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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ihatepof
Kirkland, WA
age: 43
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Probably has something to do with the studies done that show there is a higher percentage of break up after living together then getting married.
I got married and didn't know my ex long enough. Me bad. But it goes right in the face of my friends who lived together for 6 years happy until they got married. Then 6 months later they are in divorce court. Ha!
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| 2/2/2010 12:30:46 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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wiilnotgiveup
Fort Lauderdale, FL
age: 45
|
http://divorce.suite101.com/article.cfm/living_together_before_marriage
According to a new research study, living together before marriage may increase the chance of divorce. Cohabitation is a positive factor for divorce, which sounds good, but actually means that couples who live together are more likely to split up after marriage.
Living Together Before Marriage - Statistics
This information is based upon a 5-year study by Scott Stanley, a psychologist at the University of Denver. Stanley has been interested in the subject of cohabitation for the past 15 years, after he read a 1995 report on the subject.
Thirty years ago, apartment owners seldom allowed unmarried couples to rent a place together, but times have changed, and today, living together before marriage is a common occurrence. Often, the reason is financial, but sometimes people just live together out of loneliness.
The Denver study found that out of 1,050 married people, 19 percent of those who "lived together" before marriage had talked to their spouse about divorce. In the control group who did not live together, only 10 percent had brought up divorce. This means that twice as many people who cohabitated had wanted a divorce enough to tell their partner. These numbers confirm the outcome of the earlier, 1995 study.
Dr. Stanley concludes that many people, who lived together, are less dedicated to making the marriage succeed than those who never had the same premarital address.
This 15 year old study really has no bearing on reality in 2010 it says now 80 percent of all couples live together before marrage, and married or not it has a 7 out 8 chance of a split, even gay people were subject to this study! Same results.
Called the 7 year itch!
Same reason men wear the same style 20 yrs.
And the woman has to have new shit every season!
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| 2/2/2010 12:34:02 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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yourfriendbob
Fayette, OH
age: 55
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People engage in "wishful thinking."
They believe that getting married after living together for a while will improve their partner's level of commitment to the relationship.
It doesn't, ........and this becomes a point of contention between them.
One thing in life,
That will always be true.
Men never change.
And women always do.
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| 2/3/2010 7:26:09 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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forkeeps333
Columbia, SC
age: 28
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I feel that if you live together in a common law relationship for years then why even get married. I look at it like this, if people live together, have kids together, have bills together, have property together, etc which is what some people do after marriage then why get married. After the marriage what exactly do you expect from each other because not much really changes, you just go back you your old common law life. Really the only thing that changes is your relationship status, benefits, and maybe your last name. I kind of see it as putting the cart before the horse and expecting to get somewhere. You also have to know why you decided to get married after all this time.
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| 2/3/2010 9:53:43 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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katrinasq
Pearcy, AR
age: 41
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Maybe people that live together take the commitment less seriously that people who move in when they get married. I lived with my ex thinking that when I walked down that aisle, I would KNOW I had the right guy, and I did, but people change. We both took being married very seriously, and thought for years before getting a divorce.
Seems to me that if you look at marrieage as just the next logical step rather then a lifetime commitment, you already have the divorce papers ready and waiting to be signed.
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| 2/4/2010 4:42:34 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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ladyog
Rotterdam
Netherlands
age: 54
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People have crazy expectations of marriage.....
When they are living together its because they want to be together..
When they marry...some people...men and women feel trapped...and some believe it gives them some sense of ownership..that wasn't there before...laws view you as a unit...and the IRS damn sure does....you become responsable for the other person...
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| 2/4/2010 5:41:07 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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ctprincess
Danbury, CT
age: 57
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Why is it that couples can live common-law for years with no serious problems but the minute they get married problems arise and within a few years they are in divorce court.
This has always puzzled me. Any insight would be welcomed:
Beats me...I've heard that to be true.
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| 2/4/2010 7:16:14 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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meciuno
Middelfart
Denmark
age: 44
|
Why is it that couples can live common-law for years with no serious problems but the minute they get married problems arise and within a few years they are in divorce court.
This has always puzzled me. Any insight would be welcomed:
I have no problem being married. Once I dated this chick for 4 years, my best friend, we came from work have some beers, cook dinner, went to movies. . . etc.
Once we discussed marriage she started rearranging shit in my life and I really didn't like it.
You may have a point because my last marriage lasted 14 years until she start stepping on my plans and making financial decisions on my behalf.
I guess man need their crap left alone. Women always like to change staff, really bother the hell out of me.
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| 2/4/2010 7:02:31 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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wsprs0nthewind
Powell, TN
age: 46
|
This 15 year old study really has no bearing on reality in 2010 it says now 80 percent of all couples live together before marrage, and married or not it has a 7 out 8 chance of a split, even gay people were subject to this study! Same results.
Called the 7 year itch!
Same reason men wear the same style 20 yrs.
And the woman has to have new shit every season! |
| 2/5/2010 2:44:42 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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freenow31
Las Vegas, NV
age: 35
|
The minute, she eats the wedding cake, she no longer likes sex, and starts nagging.
Well Duh...Cake goes right to the hips and who wants to have sex after hearing the song...It wiggles it jiggles...
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| 2/5/2010 8:36:18 PM |
Marriage after living common law |
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sallybelle494
Adairsville, GA
age: 66
|
shackup and tell everybody you're married.
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| 2/21/2010 1:03:24 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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onemrmajestic
Seattle, WA
age: 51
|
Why is it that couples can live common-law for years with no serious problems but the minute they get married problems arise and within a few years they are in divorce court.
This has always puzzled me. Any insight would be welcomed:
The same reason people dont submit to Jehovahs laws and ways. people are more into themselfs then God. simple fact, 99% of the time. the other 1% is, people are to in to them selfs. 
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| 2/21/2010 2:21:36 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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joshypoo9
Las Vegas, NV
age: 39
|
http://divorce.suite101.com/article.cfm/living_together_before_marriage
According to a new research study, living together before marriage may increase the chance of divorce. Cohabitation is a positive factor for divorce, which sounds good, but actually means that couples who live together are more likely to split up after marriage.
Living Together Before Marriage - Statistics
This information is based upon a 5-year study by Scott Stanley, a psychologist at the University of Denver. Stanley has been interested in the subject of cohabitation for the past 15 years, after he read a 1995 report on the subject.
Thirty years ago, apartment owners seldom allowed unmarried couples to rent a place together, but times have changed, and today, living together before marriage is a common occurrence. Often, the reason is financial, but sometimes people just live together out of loneliness.
The Denver study found that out of 1,050 married people, 19 percent of those who "lived together" before marriage had talked to their spouse about divorce. In the control group who did not live together, only 10 percent had brought up divorce. This means that twice as many people who cohabitated had wanted a divorce enough to tell their partner. These numbers confirm the outcome of the earlier, 1995 study.
Dr. Stanley concludes that many people, who lived together, are less dedicated to making the marriage succeed than those who never had the same premarital address.
Read more at Suite101: Living Together Before Marriage: http://divorce.suite101.com/article.cfm/living_together_before_marriage#ixzz0eF7bIeQc
Good info..but it could also work against someone too? I wouldnt go in head first into marriage, unless I actually knew that person well. To do that, I would probably want to move in, and see if there's a spark there. It can work out either way.
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| 2/22/2010 2:25:27 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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johnny_tsunamy
Summerland, CA
age: 90
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 Sometimes it works OK, and Sometimes it don't... 
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| 2/22/2010 10:07:36 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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rhodora
Queen Creek, AZ
age: 34
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The expectations are greater when you are married, but maybe they loved just the same. So, that's how conflicts can happen because misunderstandings and miscommunications happen.
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| 2/22/2010 10:31:58 AM |
Marriage after living common law |
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dreamcatcher00
Plainview, TX
age: 31
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what fun would life be if we had every piece of the puzzle
just live your life
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