I gave in.........

1/9/2008 10:45:26 AM	I gave in.........
mrcmore Peekskill, NY age: 36	Been living with this girl for a year, things didn't work out because of finances, I was paying over 80 percent of the bills, she believes women shouldn't have to put into bills or rent, we split, moved out, and I didn't hear from her for the last two weeks, I bought a ticket to go back to ny, this morining, out of the blue, she calls, comes and sees me, and acts like nothing has happened, and were still together, I should tell you that this girl is bi-polar, and goes through episodes, and I have been there through them all.....I really felt like it was over between us, now, I'm confused, I still love this girl like crazy, never loved anyone more, and I've been in relationships for 9 years prior to her....she may have just used me for sex, since we did do it, but she had no idea that I was leaving, and she doesn't want me to leave. I really don't want to go back to ny, but I just used over 100 dollars that I cant get back, that I would need, I know it doesn't sound like much, but I'm worried if she flips on me again, which she probably will, I'll be stuck here with nothing, I wish things could work out, but I'm worried about making the wrong move....I just edited this, I think I'm gonna just gonna go back to ny, and do what I can to get back what I've lost in finances down here.....If she really wants me in her life, she will be there when I return....it's just hard...I didn't think I would hear from her before leaving, now I'm going crazy. Can I get some positive feedback from ya'll.....to stay, or not to stay. [Edited 1/9/2008 11:00:11 AM]
1/9/2008 11:01:50 AM	I gave in.........
bigdaddy86 Carbondale, IL age: 23	It's all on what you think you can handle. You know yourself best. Crazy girls never turn sane no matter how much you believe they've changed. Trust me. If you can handle it, by all means stay. If you're gonna be miserable, don't torture yourself.
1/9/2008 11:03:18 AM	I gave in.........
stormygrl Longmont, CO age: 41	Sounds kind of like a bad thing for you.........it's hard when you love someone especially the bi-polar part - that can destroy people as far as relationships are concerned. Does she take meds? It runs rampant in my family so I understand that part. I would just be very careful... do you want more heartache?? I guess you have to just follow your heart on this one. Good Luck to you.
1/9/2008 11:05:16 AM	I gave in.........
honestfriend381 Clarksville, TN age: 47	When you're dealing with bi-polar disorder it's one extreme to another. Can you handle the mental strain, it won't get better. Expect things to stay the same. If she's expecting you to cover financial needs now when you're not even married yet, she'll allways expect you to cover all of them forever. Does she make you feel loved as much as you love her? On the other hand, your heart isn't happy about going back to NY either. How do you expect that to be a good thing if you feel this way now? Are you moving to get away from her? You may need some time away from her to make up your mind about what's best for everyone. You said you are afraid you'll exhaust your money while trying to figure this one out. If you stay to figure it out, you're going to need to be working too.
1/9/2008 11:07:38 AM	I gave in.........
crowdog3 Ponca City, OK age: 34	Go too NY and live your life, if it's meant too be, she will come back into your life, I once had a room mate that was BI-polor, and let me tell you I will never mess with someone that is Bi-polor again, that was WAY too much strain
1/9/2008 11:08:11 AM	I gave in.........
kgearly1021 Valdosta, GA age: 48	You are the only one who can answer this question, Is there some reason she cannot go to New York with you?
1/9/2008 11:09:11 AM	I gave in.........
crowdog3 Ponca City, OK age: 34	What ever you do, I repeat..DO NOT take her too NY with you, that would be a very bad move on yer part
1/9/2008 11:21:39 AM	I gave in.........
bassman1959 Santa Rosa, CA age: 49	I agree with Crow. Go to back to NY. And don't take her with you. Chances are the only reason she came back to you is because she had no where else to stay. She is Bi-polar. If you stay with her she will do this again. You don't need that in your life. My ex is bi-polar.
1/9/2008 11:38:27 AM	I gave in.........
mrcmore Peekskill, NY age: 36	Thanks people...your all great, she will not be going with me to ny, she has 4 girls, so she cant leave, she was probably just using me for sex, since that was the one good thing we had...........she lives back with her mother, and that's a whole other story. I'm gonna do what I have to do, focus on myself, and see where it goes from there, I'm putting my faith in GOD's hands. Thanks again people, needed to here your positive feedback, and drill it in my head.
1/9/2008 12:27:47 PM	I gave in.........
winesong Bend, OR age: 88	Great call on your part.... have fun getting ready to leave for NY... This is a new year, and a new beginning.... Bi-Polar...I would pass, and really be happy I had the patience to take care of life in the past.... I would take care of me now, and be open to meeting a new woman. Bring the goodness to you... New York is waiting.. Wine
1/9/2008 1:06:09 PM	I gave in.........
italyfun East Amherst, NY age: 31	I have to say I think this woman was using you for more than sex. Sounds more like she was using you for everything from sex to emotional and finacial support. Her thinking women don't have to take resposibilty for anything is the way she lives her life. Her children have to watch this as they grow up but you don't. I would get as far away from her as possible and reassess my own life.
1/9/2008 1:29:30 PM	I gave in.........
mrcmore Peekskill, NY age: 36	Yeah italyfun, your right, when I was saying sex, I meant today, I'm sure emotional support is what she was looking for too...she didn't get any money today, but from the moment she was here, she was all up on me.....and I gave in....like a weak fool.....but I will do the right thing, I don't like to burn bridges, and I wished we could be friends to a degree....but that probably wouldn't work either, she's actually calling me now, and chatting online with me...I'm just trying to get away from this on friendly terms....but who am I kidding. Thanks everyone for the support and good advice, I know what I have to do....now it's just time to do it and stay strong.
1/9/2008 1:46:07 PM	I gave in.........
stormygrl Longmont, CO age: 41	Good Luck!!! stay focused on YOU!!
1/9/2008 1:53:39 PM	I gave in.........
17cloverman Delanson, NY age: 45	Oh yea! Yankee in te middle of a bunch of southern rednecks JOKING DUDE . NO Matter What anyone on here says You know what you what to do. You need our support you have it. Your friends on Dh will bre here for you! Good luck to you and anything you choose to do! CLOVERMAN!!!!
1/9/2008 2:47:46 PM	I gave in.........
davewave1 Ann Arbor, MI age: 61	Dear MRCMORE, MY Ex was bi-polar, and violently so. She hid this part of her true being from me while we were courting and into the first six months of our marriage. She would have these emotional storms I could not understand or justify. In minutes, all on her own, she would make a quiet, civil conversation into an emotional, out of control yelling one. More than once, for no reason I could fathom, I found myself looking down the barrel of a loaded revolver she was pointing at me--with the hammer c*cked! I am lucky to still be alive. I state these facts, not to make her into an evil person. This is some Thing I do NOT think she could truly control on her own. One of the main reasons I married her was her extraordinary kindness and thoughtfulness. That was part of her wonderful happy side. Over our almost twenty years together, her "dark side" became darker and deeper. Certain drugs did seem to help for a while, but then when she slipped to the dark side, those sessions were even more violent and darker than the ones before. Later, as our children became older, they saw it all, and began to understand. Even they could tell when these episodes were about to happen. You would hear one of the children say, "Oh, Oh, Mommies going down again." In the beginning, I gave her unconditional Love, even accepting the fact that her prior unfaithful husband gave her herpes though I did not have it. I cannot speak for your individual situation, but I will tell you that for me, it became harder and harder over the years to get to sleep. With her uncertain, unstable mental condition, I lived almost my entire twenty years in constant fear: fear for myself, fear for the safety of the children when I was at work, fear as to whether or not there would be any money left in the bank account for food, for rent, other necessities..........you get the picture. Looking back, I honestly do not know how I managed to keep myself together under those circumstances. Who can live their life in constant fear, and say that they are happy ? ? ? Were I to state here some of the frightening details of the events that took place during her "dark side" episodes, any reasonable person would wonder how I, or anyone could have lasted for the nearly twenty years that I did. If you really love this woman, perhaps there is a medical treatment that will help and stabilize her, and make it possible for both of you to stay together. But, if she will not seek medical help, and you cannot get her to do so, there may be little or nothing you can do. I cannot tell you what course of action to take. I can only share with you a little window into my own similar situation, and hope you are able to make the right decision, and take the best course of action that works for both of you. I hope you will forgive and understand my lengthy response here. I wish you every success and happiness. Kindly, Davewave1 [Edited 1/10/2008 12:35:06 AM]

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