| 1/11/2008 5:49:12 AM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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silver_rain1011
Springfield, VA
age: 22
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Wow!! Thank you all for such heart felt responses! Everyone makes valid points and they all will be taken into consideration when the time finally comes. No he's not a DH member (as far as I know). However, his birthday is in a few weeks and I'm starting to plan a little birthday something for him. He really liked it when I cooked him dinner on Monday, he was so excited you'd think no one had ever cooked him a homemade dinner before! So I might do that for him again this time including a homemade cheesecake. He's already hinted at a couple things he would like for his birthday, and maybe top it all off with a little lingerie 
I know he possibly has abandonment issues (his father left when he was very young and his mother has married and divorced 4 or 5 additional times and she tends to flake out on him a lot). I feel like he feels the same most of the time, but last night he was a tiny bit distant, so maybe he DOES know what's up and is afraid I'd do exactly as everyone else important in his life has done.
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| 1/11/2008 7:26:06 AM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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homegirl1970
Red Creek, NY
age: 37 online now!
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id listen to Chopper she always has great advice...
but nothing ventured nothing gained..
F*ck it tell him and see what happens
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| 1/11/2008 9:04:58 AM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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indygal1234
Beech Grove, IN
age: 50
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It could be like the guy I have been dating from here...Its like it's been 3 weeks and he said it on the second week we known each other...I'm thinking right baby and you really know what Love is..
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| 1/11/2008 1:49:18 PM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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qazyguy
Rockville, MD
age: 50 online now!
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Work up to it gradually...use the word Love in other ways...
I love Being With You
I Love The Way You Do (this or that)
I Love F*cking You
etc etc etc
Then shorten the sentence a bit.
Let Me Go Qazy On You
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| 1/11/2008 1:56:13 PM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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big_joel
Ash Flat, AR
age: 55
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silver hell no dont tell him
take your bags and set them on his door step
and say look dude im here to stay what do you think
do you think we are made for each other
had girls try it with me before and as you can see im still here and free
but that might change soon
i might try it myself
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| 1/11/2008 2:08:48 PM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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healthologist
Page, AZ
age: 60
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Say it indirectly, actions speak louder than words.
Tease him into saying it.
The next time he does something you like, say "what are you doing, trying to make me fall in love with you?", then give him that beautiful smile.
Les
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| 1/11/2008 2:32:19 PM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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fran567
Gorham, ME
age: 57
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| 1/11/2008 4:42:27 PM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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knittinkitten
Lady Lake, FL
age: 71
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OP, you say, simply, "I've been dating this guy for a few months".....I don't think you've given us anywhere near the amount of information we would need to know, in order to form an opinion on how you should handle it.
Are you exclusive? Has he given you any indication as to what his feelings toward you are? Do you see him often enough to believe that he is NOT dating anyone else....weekdays, weekends, etc. Before you started steady dating, did he give you any indication as to whether he was looking for a committed relationship, or if he just wanted to start off slowly and progress from there? Do you know if he prefers to take the lead, or wants a woman who takes the lead? Do you know anything about his long range plans?
I would have asked those questions before becoming emotionally involved....perhaps, you did. But, you haven't told us what you know.
If it were me, I would not make any statements regarding "love", but I would certainly let him know, by my actions and reactions, that my feelings were very strong. And, I would do my best to get the answers to several of the questions I asked above...which, at this point, might not be all that easy, without being obvious.
Sorry I cannot be more helpful, but I cannot make uninformed decisions about something as delicate as affairs of the heart.
Sincerely,
Knittin Kitten
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| 1/11/2008 4:52:27 PM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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michaelcee
Sarasota, FL
age: 51 online now!
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Now I feel I'm withholding an "I love you" from him, that I know something he might not. How should I go about telling him "I think we have long-term and possibly life-long connections?"
Take a page out of my dating book and ask "are you in love yet?"
That takes the pressure off of you and allows an open communication.
He may ask... "Are you"
Wont comment any further.... but if you're half as intelligent as you seem... you should be able to take it from there!
Michael
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| 1/11/2008 11:19:21 PM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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1beatlesfanatic
Frederick, MD
age: 44
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based on your lengthy and rather bizarre running commentary, I think you better grab on tight and not let him go if he makes you happy.
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| 1/11/2008 11:23:56 PM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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1beatlesfanatic
Frederick, MD
age: 44
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You evidently have a killer body, so if he doesn't work out, I'll give it the old college try. Hey, I have a DSM-iv diagnosis, so who am I calling bizarre...your commentary was rather entertaining, though! I'm in Frederick (Maryland)....
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| 1/11/2008 11:34:18 PM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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cantkillmylove
Pasadena, CA
age: 26
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You need to know if this it. If its not then all your left with is a physical attraction. If thats all you want then say nothing. If your looking for something longer, dont wait, you need to get what you want out of life. Dont waste his or your time.
[Edited 1/11/2008 11:35:07 PM]
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| 1/12/2008 12:17:35 AM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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bocky1019
Newark, DE
age: 50
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I think today ,and especially if you are on a dating site and want to find love,we fall in love very easy when we meet someone that is really nice.I fall in love very easy when I think I meet the right person.I think maybe you really love the things you do together and being with him.You have to separate those things.In my opinion,I think falling in love is like learning to become a carpenter.You cant do it over night and it takes years to really know what your doing.when I think I,m falling in love I have a test,to be sure its not just like or lust.I try and put some space between us for a while..maybe a week or so depending on how often we see each other.when I feel my heart hurting and wanting REALLY bad to see that person..then I know its love.JMO..Bock
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| 1/12/2008 6:50:10 AM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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curmudgeon4300
Gretna, NE
age: 60
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Too often we as men are expected to know what you think, and if we guess, nine out of ten times we'll guess wrong. Tell him so he knows what you are thinking.
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| 1/12/2008 6:57:11 AM |
I have been dating this guy for a few months... |
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dreambuilder07
Gaithersburg, MD
age: 48
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Silver,
I might suggest another consideration -- Love may not be the question. It sounds like you already love him and my guess is that he loves you too, whether he can even admit it to himself.
I wonder whether committment is not a bigger issue. For you a stronger committment might mean security, comfort, and future, while committment might mean loss of freedom, attachment, and responsibility for him. I'm guessing he's a young guy and he may be frightened by those things. I know I was at that age. It can be terrifying.
Perhaps you could ask yourself whether you can give more without more in return?
Then also ask yourself, if I say nothing, can I live with that forever? How can you best be true to yourself?
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