Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?

3/29/2010 2:26:15 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
catthebest Scottsdale, AZ 49, joined Nov. 2009	I'm very undecisive about this and there has been alot of controversy in this area but if a significant other always looks at porn secretly on the internet then is that cheating? How do you feel about this? Meet singles at DateHookup.dating, we're 100% free! Join now!
3/29/2010 7:39:16 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
goingtosand Scottsdale, AZ 61, joined Oct. 2009	Yes it is, it's not love.
3/29/2010 12:02:16 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
polensky Litchfield Park, AZ 37, joined Mar. 2010	I Think it depends on the relationship that the man and woman have. If they have a relationship that is excepting of it then no it's not cheating but if the relationship isn't excepting of it than I would say yes it's cheating.
3/29/2010 12:28:29 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
qnofmycstle Tempe, AZ 41, joined Dec. 2009	I believe if you're not doing it with your partner...or with the consent of the other...then it's cheating. It's disrespectful and if you don't have "respect" you have nothing! IMO....
3/29/2010 12:49:08 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
jj5337 Maricopa, AZ 59, joined Mar. 2010	The psychologists are not in synch on all this, some think there are many adverse affects to watching porn, including but not limited to addiction. Just my opinion, but there is a big difference between reading Playboy and watching hard core porn -- admiring pictures of beautiful women is one thing...watching penetration videos is more akin to voyeurism.
3/29/2010 1:26:32 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
catthebest Scottsdale, AZ 49, joined Nov. 2009	Great answers! Okay but let's give an example. Let's say a husband and wife do not share the porn with each other but the wife knew he liked it before the marriage. He had pin-ups, porn tapes and magazines and she thought it was a guy thing. And the porn doesn't have to be hard. She had no idea of how he really got into it in his mind. He was obsessed with looking at sexy women whenever he could and would run on-line to see it the minute he got home. Isn't just constantly thinking about other women....cheating if you love your wife? Or thinking about having sex with other women a sense of cheating? Looking at beauty is one thing but what if a person constantly does it? Is a constant sexual fantasy in someone's mind when you have a partner....cheating?
3/29/2010 1:38:05 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
qnofmycstle Tempe, AZ 41, joined Dec. 2009	Quote from catthebest: Great answers! Okay but let's give an example. Let's say a husband and wife do not share the porn with each other but the wife knew he liked it before the marriage. He had pin-ups, porn tapes and magazines and she thought it was a guy thing. And the porn doesn't have to be hard. She had no idea of how he really got into it in his mind. He was obsessed with looking at sexy women whenever he could and would run on-line to see it the minute he got home. Isn't just constantly thinking about other women....cheating if you love your wife? Or thinking about having sex with other women a sense of cheating? Looking at beauty is one thing but what if a person constantly does it? Is a constant sexual fantasy in someone's mind when you have a partner....cheating? Hello Cat... I feel most "single" men enjoy it...but that's just it...they're "single"...it's ok. I, personally, feel that if you decide to get married...you've made a choice. If they are looking at porn to get turned on..then sleeping with you...wouldn't that be cheating? I wouldn't want a man sleeping with me...and thinking of her... and I'm sure most men wouldn't appreciate knowing their wives thinking of another man while in bed with him... I had a girlfriend in your particular situation... she was married for over 13 years. He was obsessed with porn all through their marriage...then she found out, by accident, he had been cheating on her as well. Not just once...they tried to work things out...it happened again and now they are divorced. The worst part is... she found her 14 year old looking at it at one point. He tried to hide it from the kids, but kids are pretty darn resourceful and keen to what goes on. I guess my point is...where does it end? It's blatant disrespect, in my eyes, if you know the other doesn't approve and do it anyway.
3/29/2010 1:51:46 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
catthebest Scottsdale, AZ 49, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from qnofmycstle: Hello Cat... I feel most "single" men enjoy it...but that's just it...they're "single"...it's ok. I, personally, feel that if you decide to get married...you've made a choice. If they are looking at porn to get turned on..then sleeping with you...wouldn't that be cheating? I wouldn't want a man sleeping with me...and thinking of her... and I'm sure most men wouldn't appreciate knowing their wives thinking of another man while in bed with him... I had a girlfriend in your particular situation... she was married for over 13 years. He was obsessed with porn all through their marriage...then she found out, by accident, he had been cheating on her as well. Not just once...they tried to work things out...it happened again and now they are divorced. The worst part is... she found her 14 year old looking at it at one point. He tried to hide it from the kids, but kids are pretty darn resourceful and keen to what goes on. I guess my point is...where does it end? It's blatant disrespect, in my eyes, if you know the other doesn't approve and do it anyway. EXACTLY! I would hate if I even knew my partner was constantly looking at other women and thinking of having sex with them...like why is he doing it? Am I not sexy enough for him? If he shares the reasons with me and asks me what I think then it's one thing. But just hiding it in someone's mind to me is cheating! So many men say no because they aren't physically doing anything and they are married to the same woman and having sex with her. But what is the limit? In your case the man got addicted and then the kids found out. And isn't the thoughts alone just cheating? Then again on the other side of the coin I've come to realize (from asking) that men like variety where women on the whole of course, just need 1 person. Do women need to accept that men will always think of other women because it is the way of nature?
3/29/2010 2:15:54 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
goofysoul32 Gilbert, AZ 39, joined Oct. 2008	i am just curious is your question only for men or for both men and women - cause i know tons of women who look at porn too not just guys. you asked if we think looking at porn is considered cheating, you didnt say when a guy looks at porn is it considered cheating, too me it depends on a person or the relationship bewtween a man and the woman - each person views is different on what they consider what cheating is - but i know tons of women and men both single and married who look at porn, i just find it funny and rude that when someone asks a question like that, all i see is only men do it. but you never see women do it or even amit too it or say well women do it as well - its always gears towards men at the end.. [Edited 3/29/2010 2:17:47 PM ]
3/29/2010 2:29:23 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
catthebest Scottsdale, AZ 49, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from goofysoul32: i am just curious is your question only for men or for both men and women - cause i know tons of women who look at porn too not just guys. you asked if we think looking at porn is considered cheating, you didnt say when a guy looks at porn is it considered cheating, too me it depends on a person or the relationship bewtween a man and the woman - each person views is different on what they consider what cheating is - but i know tons of women and men both single and married who look at porn, i just find it funny and rude that when someone asks a question like that, all i see is only men do it. but you never see women do it or even amit too it or say well women do it as well - its always gears towards men at the end.. Good point. I was thinking about that when I wrote it. It is for both but I gave an example because it is what I know and what I see. Of course you can give examples of women looking at men and thinking of sex when they have a partner. That would be interesting to hear. [Edited 3/29/2010 2:37:25 PM ]
3/29/2010 2:46:40 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
qnofmycstle Tempe, AZ 41, joined Dec. 2009	Cat mentioned "significant other" so if you're a woman...you're naturally going to express how you would feel as a woman if it was done to you. As a man, how would you feel? From some I've spoken with...they'd love it if their woman did...it's a turn on to them. Well, hmmm... women are sexier to look at...and you tend to see more of the woman in porn....you don't see much of the man unless you're looking at gay porn. Would you watch a gay porn, with men, with your partner if that turned her on? Most likely, you're answer would be no...lol. Is that fair? Is that respectful? If you're married you chose to love, honor, and respect the person you're with... it doesn't come with a side of viewing other naked women or men any chance you get....just my two cents....
3/29/2010 7:08:04 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
desertirish Scottsdale, AZ 57, joined Aug. 2009	I think looking at porn is not only cheating, it's degrading. If a man cherishes a woman, would he really watch porn, and if a woman really wants to be cherished by a man, would she be ok with him watching it? We have all become so de-sensitized by what we see in movies, tv, etc., we are willing to accept more and more behavior that is less than rewarding for each of us as a person, let alone as a couple. Without those "porn" thoughts and ideas, there is more concentration on building a sense of trust between the couple. I would hope so anyways.
3/30/2010 10:07:56 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
sdsdswswim Camp Verde, AZ 53, joined Nov. 2009	What if the porn i look at is of my partner ? If its not my partner than it is very disrespectful to say the least
3/30/2010 11:57:19 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
onefromoz Phoenix, AZ 58, joined Jun. 2008	Quote from catthebest: I'm very undecisive about this and there has been alot of controversy in this area but if a significant other always looks at porn secretly on the internet then is that cheating? How do you feel about this? So Cat, how much porn do you watch?!?
3/31/2010 11:40:49 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
apeks Phoenix, AZ 66, joined Aug. 2007	Who in their right mind would rather look at porn than get with their wife/SO? Doesn't make sense to me. I would take the real thing any day!!
3/31/2010 7:18:39 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
explorerlenny Black Canyon City, AZ 55, joined Oct. 2007	where the mind leads the body follows, apeks is spot on,the real thing is there why look at pics?
3/31/2010 7:25:47 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
mzchieviousnaz Phoenix, AZ 64, joined Nov. 2007	Nothing, I repeat nothing is better than the real deal!
3/31/2010 9:44:26 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
cowboyupphx Prescott, AZ 50, joined Jul. 2009	If you watch it with each other - no...if one checks it out - without the other knowing / etc...then Yes it is - because it (porn) leads to other things
3/31/2010 9:54:18 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
tiiger59 Phoenix, AZ 57, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from catthebest: Great answers! Okay but let's give an example. Let's say a husband and wife do not share the porn with each other but the wife knew he liked it before the marriage. He had pin-ups, porn tapes and magazines and she thought it was a guy thing. And the porn doesn't have to be hard. She had no idea of how he really got into it in his mind. He was obsessed with looking at sexy women whenever he could and would run on-line to see it the minute he got home. Isn't just constantly thinking about other women....cheating if you love your wife? Or thinking about having sex with other women a sense of cheating? Looking at beauty is one thing but what if a person constantly does it? Is a constant sexual fantasy in someone's mind when you have a partner....cheating? From what you are saying here i will say yes it is cheating! If it were shared then i would say no. If the first thing when he comes home and runs to the computer for comfort,and not to you, then the man has a problem! I don't understand why a man would go to a porn sight when he will be coming home to someone like you(i hope you take the right way)! The first thing i would do when i got home is to give you a kiss and a hug! JMO You can erase this if you want,and i will not have bad feelings! I can't understand why a man would look at a screen rather than what is staring him in the face?????? I rather enjoy what is in front of me over looking at a screen! Later!
3/31/2010 10:17:13 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
phoenicks53 Surprise, AZ 63, joined Sep. 2009	I really don't think looking at porn is cheating, BUT, if it becomes an obsession, then I believe it can be a form of cheating. If you use looking at porn for a sexual release, other than being with your wife or lover, then yes I would say it is cheating.
3/31/2010 11:59:07 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
catthebest Scottsdale, AZ 49, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from tiiger59: From what you are saying here i will say yes it is cheating! If it were shared then i would say no. If the first thing when he comes home and runs to the computer for comfort,and not to you, then the man has a problem! I don't understand why a man would go to a porn sight when he will be coming home to someone like you(i hope you take the right way)! The first thing i would do when i got home is to give you a kiss and a hug! JMO You can erase this if you want,and i will not have bad feelings! I can't understand why a man would look at a screen rather than what is staring him in the face?????? I rather enjoy what is in front of me over looking at a screen! Later! Oh thanks but it's not about me personally. I just was always curious about this especially from being on myspace and seeing all these married men who were decent and I knew loved their wife and looked at porn ALL the time. So it made me wonder. They really truly loved their wives BUT they were married for soooo long and maybe the "Variety" thing came into play? Maybe that's another post? If one is married or with someone for sooo long then how do they keep renewing their love for each other? Whadda ya think?
4/1/2010 12:10:29 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
catthebest Scottsdale, AZ 49, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from abundance1961: Another issue can be spouses with divergent libidos. If one person needed sexual release more often then the other was willing to do, then it's cerainly better than doing it with an actual person. In another instance, what if one spouse was ill or otherwise unable to have sex for a little while or if there was a falling out and the two were not intimate at that time. Again, it is better to give yourself a manual release to porn, than to cheat. There are also situations where one spouse has desire to a type of sex their partner is not willing or able to do. I think the biggest issue is how it affects the relationship. True, very good point! There are films made on this topic. I guess in that case, porn would be mild to cheating.
4/1/2010 2:40:18 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
rockabilly13 Glendale, AZ 31, joined Mar. 2010	No I don't think it's cheating, but it can lead to future attempts to cheat (only for the meek, indecisive, compulsive people). There is no cheating involved because there is no physical/mental exchange with two people. Can you honestly say that your boyfriend/girlfriend was cheating on you with an electronic ecstasy? It is which the chosen is to commit "such a fallacy to fantasize" with sexual pleasure. It is to adhere to the mind's sexual attraction because it is so vague. Love does not exclude all of the mind's attractions. Love is simply a feeling of being able to coexist with a person who has traits of which you can coexist with harmoniously. This could simply be just to gain more knowledge about the vast world of heightened sexual pleasure of which you wish to share with your beloved. I could write on and on about this, but that is what you need to consider. We can turn anything almost into anything else because of the vast array of thinking we can submit to a simple thought.
4/2/2010 2:08:08 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
catthebest Scottsdale, AZ 49, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from rockabilly13: No I don't think it's cheating, but it can lead to future attempts to cheat (only for the meek, indecisive, compulsive people). There is no cheating involved because there is no physical/mental exchange with two people. Can you honestly say that your boyfriend/girlfriend was cheating on you with an electronic ecstasy? It is which the chosen is to commit "such a fallacy to fantasize" with sexual pleasure. It is to adhere to the mind's sexual attraction because it is so vague. Love does not exclude all of the mind's attractions. Love is simply a feeling of being able to coexist with a person who has traits of which you can coexist with harmoniously. This could simply be just to gain more knowledge about the vast world of heightened sexual pleasure of which you wish to share with your beloved. I could write on and on about this, but that is what you need to consider. We can turn anything almost into anything else because of the vast array of thinking we can submit to a simple thought. That's an interesting concept. But if a man/woman CONSTANTLY flirted on-line with others which is not physical then isn't that a form of cheating? Could we go so far to say that phone sex and IM sex isn't cheating in your opinion too? And that sure is physical only it's one on one. Would love to know your thoughts.
4/2/2010 5:14:57 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
natedogg1 Tempe, AZ 36, joined Jun. 2008	Watching porn is not cheating. Now if your hand is getting more action than your woman then we have an issue. But the occasional pound one off is expected, it helps balance the testosterone.
4/2/2010 8:13:05 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
chazzey Peoria, AZ 62, joined Sep. 2008	Each couple has their own level of complexity. What may be acceptable in one relationship may not be in another. The bottom line is a couple needs to define what they find acceptable.. what do they consider cheating. Then those guidelines need to be honored, respected. Without that conversation to set the parameters, cheating is just a word and I question a couple that can't openly discuss things. Personally, I don't feel that looking at porn is cheating. Pullng up a chair and joining him might encourage some new adventures. LOL Of course, there are always qualifiers, such as spending all his free time at the computer and ignoring his mate, but then other issues are involved if that happens and you have bigger problem than someone just staring at the computer.
4/2/2010 12:45:01 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
catthebest Scottsdale, AZ 49, joined Nov. 2009	I don't know why I never thought of this before...the definition of cheating! Duh! Taken off the web: With regard to human relationships, couples tend to expect sexual monogamy of each other. If so, then cheating commonly refers to forms of infidelity, particularly adultery.[6] However, there are other divisions of infidelity, which may be emotional. Cheating by thinking of, touching and talking with someone you are attracted to may be equally damaging to one of the parties. Cheating is an act of lying, deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition. Cheating characteristically is employed to create an unfair advantage, usually in one's own interest, and often at the expense of others,
4/3/2010 12:15:16 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
desertirish Scottsdale, AZ 57, joined Aug. 2009	Quote from sdsdswswim: What if the porn i look at is of my partner ? If its not my partner than it is very disrespectful to say the least So let me understand this. You're on this site because you would like to meet a woman. She becomes your partner because you fall in love with one another and then you want to degrade her by watching her in a porn movie? Wow! These Arizon Chat threads are very revealing. Take a look at what Cat found on the internet; unfair advantage, usually in one's own interest, and often at the expense of others. It's usually at the expense of a woman. Thanks Cat! [Edited 4/3/2010 12:19:43 PM ]
4/4/2010 2:25:22 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
35thave_tbird Phoenix, AZ 53, joined Jan. 2009	a man that watches porn is the equivilent of a woman reading or watching a romance. let that soak in, and then ask if either unrealisic fantasy created for entertainment is cheating
4/5/2010 4:48:29 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
tiiger59 Phoenix, AZ 57, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from catthebest: Oh thanks but it's not about me personally. I just was always curious about this especially from being on myspace and seeing all these married men who were decent and I knew loved their wife and looked at porn ALL the time. So it made me wonder. They really truly loved their wives BUT they were married for soooo long and maybe the "Variety" thing came into play? Maybe that's another post? If one is married or with someone for sooo long then how do they keep renewing their love for each other? Whadda ya think? They then have an addiction to porn,and how to handle it is up to the person in question and his friends and family Looking at each other in a different light, going out on dates. I would go to a hotel and pretend to up my wife and ask to take her on a date. This is just one thought in my head that i would love to share with that special her. As i am a christian i do my best not to wander far from home,and look at others that i can not have. This being said, yes i am a man and will look at other women at times not to compare, just to see the spice of life and know in my heart i have the right spice for me! Yes i do believe you are a beutiful person inside and outside! Maybe life bring to you that in which you desire the most! Later Cat be cool and have fun. Tiiger
4/9/2010 11:26:34 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
desertirish Scottsdale, AZ 57, joined Aug. 2009	Quote from 35thave_tbird: a man that watches porn is the equivilent of a woman reading or watching a romance. let that soak in, and then ask if either unrealisic fantasy created for entertainment is cheating So your putting watching porn and reading a romance novel in the same category? Sorry, can't get my mind around that one. Romance novels and movies are harmless; porn is not.
4/10/2010 12:01:12 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
strwbrryshtcake Phoenix, AZ 45, joined Apr. 2010	Interesting question. I can tell you it was the demise of an otherwise happy marriage for me. It was more than just looking at a beautiful woman. That I would understand but when it becomes a "secret" or an obsession as it did in my case it is cheating.Maybe not in the sense most people think but when it gets to a point the person is hiding the porn, or it takes away time from a significant other or family then it is cheating. In my case it affected every part of our relationship and ultimately lead to me walking away.
4/10/2010 1:07:38 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
35thave_tbird Phoenix, AZ 53, joined Jan. 2009	Quote from desertirish: So your putting watching porn and reading a romance novel in the same category? Sorry, can't get my mind around that one. Romance novels and movies are harmless; porn is not. not if you use logic. a lot of relationships go to shit because the man doesnt live up to the womans romantic fantasy of how he should act. a lot go to shit because a man watches porn but in those cases does the man dump the woman because she doesnt act like a porn star?
4/10/2010 10:45:22 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
vv_v2 Eureka, CA 44, joined Dec. 2009	No. Is thinking about getting a bj by someone other than your gf cheating? Is the thought of kissing another man if you are a woman cheating? Its a ridiculous oversimplification. Thank God i stay away from the looney ones who think the have a right to police my thoughts.
4/13/2010 5:56:28 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
tiiger59 Phoenix, AZ 57, joined Nov. 2009	In the bible it states in Matthew 5 That if you look upon a woman and have sinful thoughts concerning said woman,you have sinned against your wife. Looking at and desiring is the same as if you have slept with her already. (just my opinion)
4/13/2010 6:27:14 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
tearose4160 Goodyear, AZ 54, joined Aug. 2009	I do not mind if my guy looks or talks to other women. I know who I am and what I am and who he will be going home with.... Every one looks..If they say that they do not look then they are either lying or fooling themselfs.
4/15/2010 3:19:23 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
tiiger59 Phoenix, AZ 57, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from abundance1961: So go ahead and sleep with her already, if that's what you think. I think there is a huge difference between desiring and doing. I guess the Police should arrest people for thinking about stealing instead of just for stealing. Nothing wrong with desire, it's natural. I guess you're not paying attention? I was stating my own opinion. If you feel it ok to think of taking a woman to bed in your mind, then i guess it is ok with you.Where do you think that action comes from???? Maybe my bad,although i do have my own opinion, and if your not liking it well i guess you can comment,although if you do read very carefully what is printed, or written. We ALL are human and have varing opinions. Take a bit of time and let it soak in before speak, or write! She asked for opinions, and i gave mine,don't like it don't read it! Simple!
4/15/2010 6:49:43 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
lali_in_az Phoenix, AZ 46, joined Jul. 2009	Quote from abundance1961: I think it depends on whether it causes emotional distance in the relationship or if he does it instead of sx with you. You are so right. I had a b/f that got it into his head that I didn't like sex because he wanted it every morning and every night of everyday and I didn't. He had always been into porn (ever since I met him) and it really didn't bother me at all. That was until he came to the conclusion that I only wanted sex once a month at the most. So, after we would have sex, the rest of the month he would tell me that he was horny and then get out of bed to go and j/o to his porn (one time he even asked me if I would mind if he went and took care of it). I felt hugely rejected and humiliated. No matter how much I tried to convince him that I didn't hate sex and that I didn't just want to have it once a month, he continued to feel this way. I even relented and started having sex with him whenever he wanted. If I missed one day (due to illness, being tired, etc) then he was right back to saying that I hate sex. Of course, he was also on hookup sites and looking up escorts while we were together as well. When I confronted him about it, he just said that since I didn't like sex he had to look for it elsewhere....but he still loved me.... yeah, right....it's MY fault he cheated
4/15/2010 7:29:29 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
phoenicks53 Surprise, AZ 63, joined Sep. 2009	Quote from lali_in_az: You are so right. I had a b/f that got it into his head that I didn't like sex because he wanted it every morning and every night of everyday and I didn't. He had always been into porn (ever since I met him) and it really didn't bother me at all. That was until he came to the conclusion that I only wanted sex once a month at the most. So, after we would have sex, the rest of the month he would tell me that he was horny and then get out of bed to go and j/o to his porn (one time he even asked me if I would mind if he went and took care of it). I felt hugely rejected and humiliated. No matter how much I tried to convince him that I didn't hate sex and that I didn't just want to have it once a month, he continued to feel this way. I even relented and started having sex with him whenever he wanted. If I missed one day (due to illness, being tired, etc) then he was right back to saying that I hate sex. Of course, he was also on hookup sites and looking up escorts while we were together as well. When I confronted him about it, he just said that since I didn't like sex he had to look for it elsewhere....but he still loved me.... yeah, right....it's MY fault he cheated I was glad to see you said HAD a b/f
4/16/2010 12:25:41 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
sandmanaz Glendale, AZ 47, joined Mar. 2010	It's really simple... if you do anything that you wouldn't do with your significant other right there, for any reason.. it's a form of cheating. If he/she doesn't like it then yeah... I guess you to failed at some basic communication skills early on. Have some respect.... If it's secret then it's a problem...
4/16/2010 7:06:14 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
desertirish Scottsdale, AZ 57, joined Aug. 2009	Quote from sandmanaz: It's really simple... if you do anything that you wouldn't do with your significant other right there, for any reason.. it's a form of cheating. If he/she doesn't like it then yeah... I guess you to failed at some basic communication skills early on. Have some respect.... If it's secret then it's a problem... I agree with you Sandman. If the guy likes porn; NEXT! The communication in the beginning and what you will both accept is so important. There will always be surprises on the journey and hopefully they will be good ones!
4/16/2010 8:40:58 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
lotusfly9 Longmont, CO 58, joined Mar. 2010	Quote from catthebest: I'm very undecisive about this and there has been alot of controversy in this area but if a significant other always looks at porn secretly on the internet then is that cheating? How do you feel about this? Someone needs to pull their head out of their duff if they are looking at porn and in a relationship with you. Anyhoot, yes cheating
4/18/2010 4:21:39 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
qnofmycstle Tempe, AZ 41, joined Dec. 2009	Quote from catthebest: EXACTLY! I would hate if I even knew my partner was constantly looking at other women and thinking of having sex with them...like why is he doing it? Am I not sexy enough for him? If he shares the reasons with me and asks me what I think then it's one thing. But just hiding it in someone's mind to me is cheating! So many men say no because they aren't physically doing anything and they are married to the same woman and having sex with her. But what is the limit? In your case the man got addicted and then the kids found out. And isn't the thoughts alone just cheating? Then again on the other side of the coin I've come to realize (from asking) that men like variety where women on the whole of course, just need 1 person. Do women need to accept that men will always think of other women because it is the way of nature? Hello cat, It's an excuse...the whole "I'm just a man"..."I can't help it"....! Then why get married...? They chose to Love..honor...cherish/respect...the other..didn't they?? Hmmm... I guess I should have looked at the fine print where it said... "they can have their cake and eat it too"....lol. I find it rather amusing they don't usually like it when the shoe is on the other foot... next time ask him to watch a "gay" guy porn with you and "ooh" and "aaah" over their big schlongs...and see how he likes it...! JMHO...
4/18/2010 4:38:22 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
tiiger59 Phoenix, AZ 57, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from abundance1961: Actually, whenever you post opinions on public forums, you become subject to other people's evaluation and comments on your opinions. Desiring a woman is not bad by itself, What counts is what you do about it. It is natural to sometimes see someone else you desire. Just don't make it obvious to your woman and don't dwell on it and don't act on it. Recognize the fact you have this desire and move on. Otherwise you will dwell on it and it occupies more of your imagination. Relax. Obviously you are not christian, because if you were you would know the score on that. As far as opinions go, yeah you are right in that matter, although it good if you pay attention to what you are saying. You don't view life as i do and that is ok, aqlthough when i give an opinion i give the writer the coertesy of readind the hole though that is expressed and do what i can to see their point of view! To you(appearently)looking at other women and lusting after them id good in your book. That is you, i have a different point of view! Please read ALL of it and not skip over some and think you have the jist of it. Evidently you don't! Again; just my opinion!
4/18/2010 5:11:25 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
dreamer671 Marana, AZ 42, joined Jul. 2009	Just my opinion........yes do think it is cheating. You may not be doing anything but looking but why even do that. If you cherish the person you are with why cant they be enough. I discovered a whole stack of Playboys that my ex husband had and when I asked him why he had them......I got"Well I have to be able to look at other womens body's and they are collectables" Okay whatever I just think it is wrong. Everyone has different opinions and thats wonderful but personally I wouldnt want to be with a man if he didnt think I was enough for him.
4/18/2010 8:41:43 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
lali_in_az Phoenix, AZ 46, joined Jul. 2009	Quote from qnofmycstle: Hello cat, It's an excuse...the whole "I'm just a man"..."I can't help it"....! Then why get married...? They chose to Love..honor...cherish/respect...the other..didn't they?? Hmmm... I guess I should have looked at the fine print where it said... "they can have their cake and eat it too"....lol. agreed...and that part about "forsaking all others" seems to slip their minds ALOT...
4/18/2010 9:47:45 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
scottalive1 Phoenix, AZ 55, joined Oct. 2006	This almost seems like bitter profiling... More then half/most of the women I've ever been with have had this same complaint... They fell for someone and was fooled or made to look like a fool... Most of them have taken it out on me in some way and several have flat out cheated themselves, almost like a payback for what was done to them by some other man... And that itself is also just an excuse... HMMm. maybe this is just a little insight into why I'm slow to move forward with anyone. I myself have become somewhat jaded and leary of women, they roll over just as quickly as men, for whatever excuse... I don't want to hurt, or mislead anyone, and I'm damn tired of it happening to me. So quit your snivelin about the a**hole who jack you, before you drag it into your next relationship and end up being the one chitten on some one else... PLEASE
4/19/2010 11:47:46 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
tiiger59 Phoenix, AZ 57, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from abundance1961: My impression or not, it is natural to occasionally be attracted to someone other than you spouse/girlfriend/Significant Other. No I am not Christian, but Jewish, which was the basis for alot of Christianity and most of the early Christians were Jewish. However, what I was objecting to was tne idea that desiring somebody is as "Bad" as actually sleeping with them. Temptation is a natural part of being human and what really matters is what you do about that temptation. Remember that G-d made us all and designed attraction/desire/lust as part of the human psyche. Resisting temptation when already committed to someone is what bad is. Appearently you do not read your bible much! And as for being jewish doesn't mean you follow the beliefs of them. If you were to read your bible you would know what i am talking about,and no not everyone believes in the bible. Although satan and his followers do and work to corrupt christianity. I do agree that temptation is a normal psyche for humans because we are prone to err. You keep believing what you choose to, as for me i do my bible studies and know in my heart what i am supposed to be doing! As i have said before, and will continuely express it is that everyone has their own opinions and i was just expressing my own. If you are not up on what i write down?,don't read it! If you are perfect than you are the second,although i doubt if you are! I chose to look at life my way and accept critism that others provide. I will stick to what i know of me and do my best to give where i can. Not everyones advice is true it is up to the reader to decide what they believe is correct for them.
4/19/2010 12:37:03 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
catthebest Scottsdale, AZ 49, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from 35thave_tbird: a man that watches porn is the equivilent of a woman reading or watching a romance. let that soak in, and then ask if either unrealisic fantasy created for entertainment is cheating Ask yourself this...would a woman hide the fact that she is watching a romance? Or would the guy hide the fact that he is watching porn? Anything shared and out in the open is not cheating.
4/19/2010 3:53:51 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
friends474 Gwent, Wales United Kingdom 42, joined Apr. 2010	mmm.... this is a tricky one i dont think its cheating but it depends on the situation, why are they watching porn? are they neglecting their partner in doing so.or are they watching it because their not having sex. if you dont want sex with your partner very often then of course they are going to do it. i know i would but it wouldnt mean anything. if he didnt like it then i would stop as long as he was willing to put in more of effort. its not cheating if you both watched it and it was helping you have a fantastic sex life. so i guess its the mind behind it.if you have a good sex life and they watch it alone and it upsets you then it shouldnt even be up for debate. if they love you they wouldnt do it.
4/21/2010 9:50:23 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
azmommiex2 Scottsdale, AZ 34, joined Nov. 2009	No. I don't think it is. Is masterbating cheating!?!?! It is however a nice way to spice things up!?!?!
4/21/2010 2:29:45 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
tiiger59 Phoenix, AZ 57, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from abundance1961: Where in the bible does it say it is as bad to desire a woman as it is to actually sleep with her? Appearently you do not read your bible very much! To answer your question: read Matthew chapter5 versus 27-30 And here i thought ALL jewish folks read and understood their bibles? I guess so much for thinking ayhe! amazing
4/22/2010 4:13:23 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
brwneyedlatina Phoenix, AZ 32, joined Apr. 2010	well when it becomes an obsession it is my ex used to all the time but it got so bad he would meet girls and have them make porn for him needless to say why hes an ex now
4/22/2010 7:24:06 AM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
catthebest Scottsdale, AZ 49, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from brwneyedlatina: well when it becomes an obsession it is my ex used to all the time but it got so bad he would meet girls and have them make porn for him needless to say why hes an ex now Ah, so here is proof again that it leads to physical cheating in the end. Thanks.
4/22/2010 6:38:58 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
tiiger59 Phoenix, AZ 57, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from abundance1961: Matthew is not in the Jewish Bible (Called the Torah). Judiasm teaches that actions are the most important thing. I wonder do you believe this to be the truth? I wonder,does it say anything about coveting? Most people i know after thinking of it want to do it! Just because you believe that the bible(holy bible)is not your truth, think before you slam it! If you know someone with a holy bible ask them if you might borrow it for a bit and look in matthew! I am not saying anything against your bible because it is(evidently) what you believe. And once again i will say to you that it is my opinion if you don't like it don't read it. I have shown to you what you have asked for yet you still continue to be on the rag about this! Get over yourself! You are not the only one in this world,and folks tend to have different points of views. Whether you can accept mine or not is up to you! I have shown to you what i believe in,now show me in your bible where it says it ok to covet your neighbor or any other person? I am up(always)for learning new things,and my mind will be open to all that i can learn! What about you? Just because you do not agree with doesn't mean you can't learn from it! I believe i can learn from whomever God places in my path of life! Do you? Your like a pitbull and won't let go. Sometimes it is a good thing,although in this case(my own opinion)you are hanging on to the wrong thing! This is only an opinion and you are making it out to be MORE than it need be! Or maybe i should say you win? Now what is it you have won? Me i learned a few things of you! It doesn't matter what i think of you,are you comfortable enough to let it go or are you going to continue this and not learn anything from it? There is many things i believe, although i believe that there is only one God. Is He yours too?
4/22/2010 10:01:39 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
brwneyedlatina Phoenix, AZ 32, joined Apr. 2010	Quote from catthebest: Ah, so here is proof again that it leads to physical cheating in the end. Thanks. not a problem. my husband was obsessd with it and he ended up ruining our family with it.
4/22/2010 10:30:08 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
craig011 Mauston, WI 38, joined Apr. 2010	I think that if a guy has to look at porn then there is a problem in the relationship.
4/22/2010 11:40:31 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
phoenicks53 Surprise, AZ 63, joined Sep. 2009	Ya know...you two guys arguing about the bible should take your argument to the religion forum. You'd definatly get your asses kicked there by the bible thumpers. Those people are hard core
4/23/2010 3:16:12 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
tiiger59 Phoenix, AZ 57, joined Nov. 2009	Quote from phoenicks53: Ya know...you two guys arguing about the bible should take your argument to the religion forum. You'd definatly get your asses kicked there by the bible thumpers. Those people are hard core Yes i have to agree there,it does take two to tango! At the first i was expressing my own opinion and he is the one started it,although i have no excuse because i kept it up when i should have let him have his own opinion and carried on! I am not wanting to talk with bible thumpers,mostly because i am not into arguements.
4/23/2010 7:03:36 PM	Is looking at Porn on the web considered CHEATING?
tearose4160 Goodyear, AZ 54, joined Aug. 2009	I used to buy Playboy for my first husband and I was with him for over 12 years and he never cheated. So I do not believe that looking promotes cheating....If they are going to cheat then they will do it without having to look at Porn... I know this is going to get me blasted but this is just my opion. I watch porn and I do not cheat... [Edited 4/23/2010 7:04:41 PM ]

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