| 2/10/2008 7:44:07 AM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
teyk
Augusta, GA
age: 62 online now!
|
In the beginning I was a grape, with twenty years of stomping and aging, I became wine.
I was fortunate, I had twenty blessed years.
This I have learned:
I am what I was, plus what I did to me. I will be what I am now, plus what I do to me.
She did her work, now I must finish mine.
Sometimes it's hard
|
| 2/10/2008 10:05:50 AM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
steady4u
Calgary, AB
age: 47
|
I forced myself to talk about her death and I encourage others to ask, though hard, it helps the healing, that and work saved my butt. I now try not to dwell on it in conversations or I answer others questions then change the subject. The memories will always be there and belong to me if I need them. Oh by the way I still think about her several times a day, we were "split aparts" come together. If it was not for her I would not be who I am. 
|
| 2/10/2008 9:39:33 PM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
tsdraft
McMinnville, OR
age: 52
|
I've found that if you tell your next partner about everything up front that is a great understanding from that partner. Honest is still the best policy, when you are blue you need to talk about with them.
|
| 2/11/2008 4:30:01 AM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
chooseyme
Mohawk, NY
age: 65
|
I think it changes with the person....some want to know and some could care less....I do wonder about the ones who don't want to knw tho...it is part of who I am today!!!
|
| 2/11/2008 4:32:53 AM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
flgreeneyes
Sebastian, FL
age: 47
|
I avoided this group from the moment I saw it - as it is still so painful. But, I bet it would be a great healing place. This is probably the hardest subject for me to talk about and I'm not known to keep my thoughts to myself!
I'm the survivor of spousal suicide. And although it was more than 11 years ago, it feels like yesterday. I can relive it almost daily.
Sure, it has gotten "easier" over time. But that's relative, isn't it? I even remarried hoping to regain what I lost. That didn't happen.
He was only 37 and I was 34. He was the love of my life and we had (what I thought) was a wonderful 13 year marriage. That all changed one dreadful night. I've tried to move on, you know - keep your chin up, you're young, you've got your whole life ahead of you, etc., etc., etc. But there's no denying how difficult it is to get over all the questions that will never be answered, all the regrets, all the things you wish you could have done differently and all the dreams that were suddenly lost.
I know it sounds like I'm drowning in grief, but I'm really not - on the outside at least. And I work on getting better everyday. It's definitely not easy. One foot in front of the other, in front of the other...
I absolutely talk about what happened with anyone I "get involved with." It's a huge part of who I am, where I am and where I want to be.
I'll shut up now.
|
| 2/11/2008 4:40:59 PM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
weaimtoplease
Donalsonville, GA
age: 59
|
The same thing is not good for all of us - you avoided this group and it was the first thing I went for. We all grieve differently and what I need is frequently different than others but that doesn't mean that we don't all feel the grief. You do need to know, though, that we are all here for you whenever you need us.
|
| 2/11/2008 4:57:43 PM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
chooseyme
Mohawk, NY
age: 65
|
flgrreneyes...
glad you took the step to enter here.....think you will find it can be a helpful place....the biggest thing being is that everyone here has lost someone, and had all the outside statements made to them....this is one place where someone can say I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN....and they really do....the understanding is so helpful....welcome!
|
| 2/11/2008 9:03:22 PM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
aurora458
Fallon, NV
age: 52
|
I've been out on a few dates and found that guys who have not experienced a death or a loved one, don't seem to understand. I am now friends with a widower and it's freeing to be able to share about our spouses to each other.
|
| 2/12/2008 5:44:17 AM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
steady4u
Calgary, AB
age: 47
|
Nobody gets it untill you go through it, but you move on.
|
| 2/12/2008 6:23:57 AM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
mcmikey
Sweet Home, OR
age: 47
|
hi im not sure if you should talk about them but i cant get her off my mind.so i guess if you dont talk about them you will always be kind of uncomfotable?
|
| 2/12/2008 7:25:23 AM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
steady4u
Calgary, AB
age: 47
|
She will never leave your mind, if you do not talk it will eat you up.
|
| 2/12/2008 4:28:19 PM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
tsdraft
McMinnville, OR
age: 52
|
For me and others that I have talked with about death of a wife or husband you will never stop loving and talking about they. The problems when you find someone new they need to have a very loving heart to enculde you in their live and understand your pain. I lost my soul mate on Aug. 28, 2006, yssterday I lost my mother. So I know how your heart feels.
|
| 2/12/2008 9:26:08 PM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
steady4u
Calgary, AB
age: 47
|
I am very sorry about your loss my friend, I lost my wife 15 months ago and my mom in 1993, my thoughts are with you.
|
| 2/13/2008 4:52:52 AM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
davemiller
Mayfield, KY
age: 60
|
WHEN I LOST my loved one after 40 years,and could have make another 40 with ease,I put her in a place where I could join her.Names on marker and all.Don't think it would be right not to let your date understand what you plan to do.Then they can do what they please.
|
| 2/13/2008 5:07:13 AM |
Talking about your deceased spouse when dating |
|
davemiller
Mayfield, KY
age: 60
|
WHEN I LOST MY LOVED ONE after 40 years and could have went for another 40,I put her in a place with room for me to join her.Marker and all.I don't think it would be right not to let your date know what your plans are.Tell them then drop the matter and go on with your life.Because i'm sure you didn't want the loss,but don't make it worse by keeping it bottled up.
|