| 1/31/2008 1:43:00 AM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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collide64
Janesville, WI
age: 43
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I've heard of open-marriages before and never gave it much thought, but lately I've seen it in posts on this site and seen articles about it in some of the men's health mags I read. I can't seem to wrap my mind around the subject. I have been married twice and never remember any of my vows (one by a justice of the peace and one in a church) condoning or allowing this type of activity while married. Is it that popular? I can't see how it would work knowing human emotions being what they are. To me it's and oxymoron. Marriage is between a man and a woman for all areas especially sex.
Am I way off here or what?
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| 1/31/2008 2:00:45 AM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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crickiedoodle
Somerset, KY
age: 43 online now!
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I agree with colide64 100%! Why would a couple even bother to get married if they want to share their beds & emotions with others? They might as well stay single! An open marriage would surely cause a couple to throw all trust, emotional intimacy & open communication out the window wouldn't it?! I honestly think that it's another huge sign of our country's moral decline.
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| 1/31/2008 5:30:44 AM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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garnetlady
Cincinnati, OH
age: 48
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Nope I agree with you collide. Marriage should be a sacred bond between two individuals..just because your spouse knows you are with other people doesn't make it right!! I am a one man lady and I don't share!!!!!!!!!
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| 1/31/2008 5:44:08 AM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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ge0ge0
Tallahassee, FL
age: 41 online now!
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I have friends who have opened their marriage up and they seem happy. They have control valves and are able to communicate very well with each other. In order to have a true open marriage, your marriage has to be rock solid and you have to have a wider understanding that our capacity to love has no limit. Even more solid and structured than a monogamous partnership since we live in a litigious society. Marriage is a contract and in some states adultery of any kind is illegal. Open marriages do not help or enhance a troubled marriage. It's usually the last nail in that coffin.
I feel marriages should be renewed like a drivers license. If after 2-4 years you both feel it would be a good idea to part ways, as long as all the paperwork is in order and everything is divided equitably then *poof* it's done. If it's like this, there would be less hard feelings and the couple would be more mindful of what they hold dear to them.
Just a thought...
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| 1/31/2008 6:29:57 AM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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tinasdream
Katy, TX
age: 31
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not for me commitment is very important
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| 1/31/2008 7:13:09 AM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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oletafive
Rattan, OK
age: 60
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I cannot speak for the rest of you but as for me, I could never have so little respect for my wife or myself if I were to allow every Tom, Harry, and D*ck to poke around in places only I should be allowed to go. After all, my love for my wife would be so intense that there would be no room for some lowlife Curr who may have owned female goats for house pets. I will tell you this also. If I were to find out she had been riding the forbidden flagpole she would certainly be out of my house so fast she would have to sent a taxi back to get her belongings.
--=Oletafive=--
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| 1/31/2008 7:21:16 AM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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ferrari348
Milford, OH
age: 46
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I've had two if you mean...open wallet, remove content The other one signed up for the plan just neglected to let me know about it
Can't say I found any pleasure in either one though.
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| 1/31/2008 10:54:08 AM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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collide64
Janesville, WI
age: 43
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Most of the articles in the magazines seem to show the age group for this type of marriage is people in their mid to late twenties and it comes about when one or the other start cheating. Instead of divorce they both agree that it will happen (cheating) and instead of hiding stuff they tell each other about it and move on. I get the impression that alot of the people still love their mate and don't want to let go of that or totally embrace it. This is not like "swingers" which I also can't wrap my tiny little brain around either. I can't see how either way will work long term. And what if kids are involved. What a messs that would be. JMO
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| 1/31/2008 12:16:00 PM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 44
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I think there are people, who for one reason or another have their own person al reasons fro this choice in their marriage.
I don't think anyone should judge what is the "right" concept of relationships or marriage - these are complex things that have to do with your own upbringing, your individual opinion, values etc.,
For some people this "open" relationship works well and allows both of them to live very content and fulfilled lives and most often the children involved do not even realize that it's occurring - which can be healthier for the children than the ugliness and bitterness of divorce.
Read the stories online here, and hear the pain of people who have lost their homes, do not get to SEE their kids let alone hug them, kiss them good night
then consider - if you could have lived in the same home with your spouse, shared raising your children and STILL had an excitingand acceptable sex life outside the marriage - wouldn't you have done it?
People grow up differently. Things and situations CHANGE. Many marry at 18 and become someone different at 30. No one is to blame it's just maturing and growing up... and sometimes you realize at 30 you made a mistake when you were 18 - do your children HAVE to pay for that?
JMO 
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| 1/31/2008 12:25:12 PM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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sitkarains
Sitka, AK
age: 47 online now!
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To me this is a no brainer. I would not even consider it. If I loved someone enough to take the sacred vows. I am not sharing nor do I share.
In my opinion it is a cop out. I don't want to be alone so and I love you, so I am going to make this commitment of being your spouse. But if I see a piece of tail I want I am going for it. I don't understand how if you are totally in love with someone you could even think about it.
Do I look when I am a relationship yes, I do. Do I ever entertain the thought of cheating NO.. I am looking at a great piece of artwork nothing more.
If I remember right one of the vows is
To Have and hold from this day forward, forsaking all others.
So in that little statement Open relationships, marriages what ever are null and void.
I do have a friend that has had one for years. Him and his wife get along great. They know I think they are nuts. But they think I am old fashion and stuffy..
Oh well.
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| 1/31/2008 2:31:54 PM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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skypoetone
Lincolnshire
United Kingdom
age: 55
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I wouldn't accept an open-marriage. It's not a healthly foundation to commit yourself to for various reasons, things I won't stress... However, a partnership that remains loyal doesn't have to be in paper either. It's all about devotion to me. 
[Edited 1/31/2008 2:33:36 PM]
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| 1/31/2008 2:50:35 PM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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chinatown_girl
Oyster Bay, NY
age: 19
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i don't think its really two people that go along with it; i think its usually one person's idea and the other person just goes along with it desperate to hold on to them by any means.
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| 1/31/2008 2:57:19 PM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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57rickie
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 57
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Were you hiding in my house at some point? Thats my reason for 2nd DIVORCE....HE wanted to Wife Swap/Open Marriage...............HELL NO!      Can we say, Don't Let the Door Hit YA! Got rid of that mess in a hurry. 
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| 1/31/2008 3:03:17 PM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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steveredman
Spotswood, NJ
age: 37
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Very good point Rickie. The answer for me to this question is NO.
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| 1/31/2008 4:24:25 PM |
What is up with open-marriage? |
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pichick712
Brookhaven, PA
age: 49
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It's cheating - why bother getting married in the first place????? It just makes no sense.
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