| 2/5/2008 7:30:23 PM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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singlennj
Budd Lake, NJ
age: 48
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So my relationship ended over a year ago and she still pops up in my life. When she found out I had a new interest she turned up the pressure. Why?
What was her goal? She came by more often. The neighbors caught her driving by more? She called more? She decided it was over and yet she gave me more grief rather then just letting it go.
If it is over as She had decided, why doesnt she get out of my life! She's welcome to any other man she wants. So, why does she persist?
She acts like we are still together demanding to know why I am dating. Duh? She broke, Its Over, Get over it and leave.
It is like we never broke. I am to answer to her and she still has demands. I dont think so. Get a life.
She even calls with out answering.....
Funny thing is this is not only a Female thing. Men do it too.
Why cant they get on with there lives?
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| 2/5/2008 7:34:48 PM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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winesong
Bend, OR
age: 60
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do you have children together?
It will never be over if you do....
so..if you do not...why not???is it over?
Because she has stated she is not ready to relinquish her control...
She likes to be in control...
okay...
when do you tell her your boundaries?
Stalking?
Is any other woman going to support you while you let *the previous woman* rule?
Not at my house....it would be BYE BYE..see you later...
Wine
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| 2/5/2008 7:47:36 PM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 47 online now!
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It's a control thing she is doing and the more you tolerate it then she will continue. Let her know what you want and if she is stalking you then tell her you will put a restaining order on her. If she still doesn't get the message then file it.
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| 2/5/2008 8:22:45 PM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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singlennj
Budd Lake, NJ
age: 48
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It is a controlling thing.
It is not letting go even if that person has declared it is over.
Many people go through this.
Sometimes it is not as simple as just telling the person bug off. I have. Part of it is that I answered the phone. Part of it is a bit of stalking.
Why do I have to move and change my numbers to get away from an individual like this?
PS, No I dont have kids with her. She aborted my only child last January at 10 weeks. 2 weeks after she broke up. She told me she lost it and sometime in the sprint or summer she let me know she aborted it.
I was going to support her having the baby but now I see if she had kept it I would have been in big trouble.
Many people as you say are forever tied to that person because of kids. What do they do?
[Edited 2/5/2008 8:24:33 PM]
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| 2/5/2008 8:38:01 PM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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pisceslady30
York, PA
age: 29
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Believe me kids make the situation ten times more difficult I am sorry to hear about your situation but if she would have had the kid it would have been used as a bargaining tool to manipulate you. Some people just can't get over you getting over them. I was in a similar sitaution but I unfortunately had children and they were always used to his advantage. It was never about me or the kids only how he could control me with them. So be glad you have no ties to that woman that makes it easier.If you don't feed into it she'll realize she no longer has your attention and that's exactly what she's upset about you not paying her any attention.
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| 2/6/2008 6:26:21 AM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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57rickie
Sioux Falls, SD
age: 57
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Singlennj....She may feel sorry for having had an abortion....but she did it. Thank your lucky stars she did....If she keeps Pestering you, calling you, change your number, to an unlisted / non-published....if she keeps showing up and harrassing you, call the cops....maybe then she'll get the hint...Report her as a Stalker. Good luck 
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| 2/6/2008 7:04:43 AM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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princetongirl34
Gainesville, TX
age: 19
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Its over! So just as you may think wemon do it men do it as well
i have a boyfriend that keeps harassing...i am very quiet and he is a strong very contoling person..
so when we broke up he still wanted to control my life...he still wanted it to be the same as the last because i was trying to move on and obviously he had not moved on...
so just as wemon do it men do it to...
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| 2/6/2008 7:33:41 AM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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craftygirl002
Tacoma, WA
age: 39
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Either ignore her or get a restraining order.
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| 2/6/2008 7:45:36 AM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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forestrose
Calgary, AB
age: 55
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Like others have said, control. SHE will decide if or when you have contact, if or when you break up, etc.
Don't let her yank your chain anymore.
Every time you talk to her, you are only getting back into it. It is called reinforcement, and whether it is
negative or positive, it is better than nothing (to the offending party). No talk. Zero. It may feel rude, but it is also
rude for her to keep playing "go away. come back. go away. come back". Not a fun game.
Also, some people find an ex very attractive when they are with someone else - suddenly what
someone else has looks good, even though you didn't want it when it was yours.
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| 2/6/2008 8:51:55 AM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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barrydalmi
Baltimore, MD
age: 44
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You will have to learn to ignore her, don't let her push any of the buttons that she has learned (you both did). Perhaps eventually she will move on. I am going through currently  (see my post in this forum on cyber "spying") and have gone through that to some extent. My most recent has that problem to such a deep extent that she spent a great amount of time trying to convince me that it was my problem...that I was the one that holds on. I almost believed.... thank heavens I got clear and returned to my senses.
There is a difference between remaining "civil" and adult following a break-up and pining away with nostalgia and trying to regain it. You know why you are no longer with someone that doesn't mean you have to alter history and pretend it was all bad or "burn all the evidence".
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| 2/6/2008 9:13:46 AM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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mindyb
Bloomington, IL
age: 42
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they do it because they hurt, i found the best thing to do is really be a strong friend, help themn to move on...good karma will come back around for life for the beauty of your effort.
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| 2/6/2008 9:16:24 AM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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metu
Ramona, CA
age: 46
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Yep! It's a control thing! I moved halfway across the country to get away from his sick, twisted ass...........he's like gum on my shoe! 
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| 2/6/2008 9:22:08 AM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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ethie
Brentwood, NY
age: 39
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I'm with craftygirl002, get a restraining order. It wont protect you, it's just a piece of paper. but it's a stepping stone to let her know you a very serious.
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| 2/6/2008 2:02:09 PM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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drummrboy
Belmont, MA
age: 43
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tell 'em, back off! or, it's the woodchipper for ya!
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| 2/6/2008 4:07:05 PM |
It is over! So why are they never out of your life? |
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singlennj
Budd Lake, NJ
age: 48
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My life would be completely different if she had kept the child. It shows how horrible being responsible could have turned out with the wrong person.
So far, I did put a stop to it telling her if she came over I would call the police and put a restraining order on her. Its stopped all communique at the moment.
AND
Yes I agree there will be no answering the phone.
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