I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... 16

2/6/2008 7:56:54 PM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
mindyb Bloomington, IL age: 42	BLAMESHIFTER....its always so much easier to dump on you on...cowards I say!...He wanted it all....if men could just learn to not be so stubborn to stop and get direction and read self help books written for men with the grass in greener synrom they probably would not be forced to live with so much regret, and worse yet bitterness over a woman not tolerating the crap...They get restless andnever learn how to fight their own battles within...no you were not wrong sweetie
2/6/2008 7:58:56 PM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
lilbittypretty1 Grifton, NC age: 47	thanks mindy so glad ya'll are out here...
2/7/2008 2:03:06 AM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
brandie1975 Stockton, CA age: 32 online now!	It sounds to me like he was never really married to you in the first place. The married dynamic is all about trust and sharing. If somwhere in his twisted mind he felt it his right to hide these women and so called conversations from you he obviously was not in a commited relationship, by his standards. The way I was raised, if you have nothing to hide then there is no hiding to be had. You are right in your convictions and right to feel deceived by his actions, I say if he wanted his cake and to eat it too he should have never ordered it for a wedding... I am sorry this has happend to you sweetie and the best of luck to you from one survivor to another...
2/7/2008 6:00:50 AM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
lilbittypretty1 Grifton, NC age: 47	ty brandi...i keep thinking I am not the crazy one here. I wish more fellas would post, whether or not they think it's right...maybe the majority can't post because they feel the havin the cake and eatin it to thing is OK. They don't make em like papa and dad anymore...and if they do...where are ya'll?
2/7/2008 6:09:25 AM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
neverlie Saint Joe, AR age: 51	"And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she commits adultery." Mark 10:12
2/7/2008 6:17:33 AM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
lilbittypretty1 Grifton, NC age: 47	I didnt put him away...HE WALKED OUT ON ME....just a little tidbit you need to know.
2/7/2008 6:30:11 AM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
katiescarlett72 Plano, TX age: 35	Lilbitty, just so you know, the thing that quoted scripture is commonly referred to as a "troll." They're people (and I use the term loosely) who post intentionally inflammatory or hurtful things to try to get a rise out of people and start fights. Just ignore them, or in boardspeak, "please don't feed the trolls." :: grin ::
2/7/2008 7:03:14 AM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
gonesailingbabe Des Moines, IA age: 44	Troll Alert - where's the hollow points? Put him away. Put him in the shed. Put him anywhere you want but get the guy out of your head.... Not worth it. Yeah wouldn't marriage be an excellent thing all the way around if you keep dating other people while you were in it?? There you go! Just the same way grandpa and grandma did it??? Golly - his loss!
2/7/2008 7:13:45 AM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
cowboy3671 Brampton, ON age: 36	Without a doubt,he is wrong & you are not. Some people want their cake & eat it too...which means they are not mature, committed or ready for an equal realationship and would for sure be angry if it were turned around where you had the behind the scenes relationships. He is a child, he should be greatful to have the love of a women period, the fact that you stayed so long shows your interest and or commitment in dealing with the issues and findind solutions. At some point you have to make better judgement, cut the strings to him and move on with your life at all cost and the best way for that to go smooth for you without your heart breaking is to surround yourself with friends/family and or even new people, keep busy, love life and learn to love yourself again. I`m not just a talker...I was that selfish child who wanted both worlds at once without giving myself 100%, yet I wanted the commitment from others and lost everything. I understand both sides of the coin and that`s why I say you are correct in your feelings. I hope things have worked out for you and remember that you must DO for YOU! Sincerely, Brad
2/7/2008 7:17:42 AM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
neverlie Saint Joe, AR age: 51	"When the Son of man shall come in his majesty, and all the pure angels with him, then shall he sit upon the throne of his majesty: And before him shall be gathered all nations: and he shall separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides (his) sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on the left. Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, you blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: ... Then shall he say also unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, you cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels: For I was an hungred, and you gave me no meat: I was thirsty, and you gave me no drink: I was a stranger, and you took me not in: naked, and you clothed me not: sick, and in prison, and you visited me not. Then shall they also answer him, saying, Master, when saw we you an hungred, or athirst, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister unto you? Then shall he answer them, saying, Truly I say unto you, Inasmuch as you did (it) not to one of the least of these, you did (it) not to me. And these shall go away into everlasting punishment: but the righteous into life eternal." Mat.25:31-34, 41-46 And unless this young lady repents she'll be asking the Son of man, "when did i refer to you as a thing or as a troll" When our saviour is quoted the right answer is "it is so". If you, op, were told, "If you don't like it you can leave" - that does not qualify as being put away. You left and defrauded the marriage, putting him away. This point i can prove without fear of contradiction if you accept the new testament the way you say you do. [Edited 2/7/2008 7:18:38 AM]
2/7/2008 7:35:31 AM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
huckleberrysqr Renton, WA age: 38 online now!	Actually neverlie, she stated he left her man. Show a little honor and respect why don't ya? cjbaker, nice to see another man speaking of honor and respect brother. Honor, dignity, and chivalry are values I place very highly in myself and others. To the op, you are not wrong whatsoever. A marriage is joining 2 lives together as 1. My best friend in the world happens to be a woman myself. But here's the big difference, if I happen to find a lady to date, or even marry, she is going to have to be great friends with her also. Because Keli isn't going anywhere, she will always be a huge part of my life, as will her Husband. I happen to love them both very much. If I ever do get married again, Keli is so close to me that she will be my "best man". Her and I don't have sex, never will. I just happen to be one of those lucky men out there that found a member of the opposite sex to be true friends with. If those people truly were his friends, and he was truly your husband, honoring his oath to you, he would have included you. Instead he's nothing more than an oathbreaker, and a coward for running out on you while you were at your lowest. Cowards and oathbreakers such as him are the lowest of the low imo.
2/7/2008 7:51:42 AM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
neverlie Saint Joe, AR age: 51	She said: he felt he should have single or married female friends without sharing it with me(and "if you don't like it, hit the road") he walked out on me I said: If you, op, were told, "If you don't like it you can leave" - that does not qualify as being put away. You left and defrauded the marriage, putting him away. That is a conditional comment - that "if" the way it went down is that she left because she interprets his comments as permission to do so, then she's is mistaken. There is no way out of a marriage for a woman, with the only possible exception being so dubious that it is almost surely damnable and that is 'abandonment by an unbeliever'. If she puts him away at all by leaving, for whatever reason, instead of him actually departing, then even this dubious exception mentioned above isn't available for her where remarriage is concerned, even though she may be unmarried at that point. Learn. Nothing is riding on this other than her eternal soul so watch who you're trying to scold here. I was visiting with her privately before all these slanders started, if you want to know. [Edited 2/7/2008 7:52:27 AM]
2/7/2008 10:06:44 AM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
lova_girl Albany, GA age: 30	I think that when you are married or in a relationship its ok to have friends but yes your mate should share those friends with you, now you may not like the friends but you should respect his friends as long as friends is what they are. No you are not wrong for feeling the way you do.
2/7/2008 10:12:09 AM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
waytogo51 Prairie Grove, AR age: 51 online now!	Be very happy he is out of your life. You are far better off without him.
2/7/2008 6:00:37 PM	I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE...
cassinigirl Albuquerque, NM age: 49	No; you had every right to expect better. And apparently you didn't have much choice in the matter, so it is his loss. Of course everyone should be able to maintain FRIENDSHIPS, whether married or not, but such friendship should never be at the exclusion of a spouse. And regarding the interwoven subject - Wow! I can hardly wait to see God, the Creator of all that is, in all the glory of being and power of judgement, reviewing all of the abominable sins and horrors throughout history, and then hear God asking "Did you call anyone a troll?" That must have been the eleventh commandment - Thou shalt not call the ignorant beastie a Troll.

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