| 2/6/2008 6:55:18 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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lilbittypretty1
Grifton, NC
age: 47
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 My marriage ended on Valentine's Day 2007. He said it was because I tried to control him, because he felt he should have single or married female friends without sharing it with me(and "if you don't like it, hit the road") ...i.e., phone calls, IM's, emails, etc. The way I was raised, you don't share your intimate married life with another of the opposite sex(and keep it from your spouse). Am I wrong? or just the way I was raised? Should ex-lovers still keep a relationship even though one is married? Thanks for listening.
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| 2/6/2008 6:57:01 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
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He wanted his cake and eat it to. It's good your marriage ended.
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| 2/6/2008 6:58:03 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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thebestman
Alpharetta, GA
age: 34
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| 2/6/2008 6:59:29 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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italianlady05
Omaha, NE
age: 53
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Absolutely NOT! Why should you share? Sounds like he wanted his cake and eat it too!
How's the past year been for you? I hope you are moving on and finding that being alone isn't as bad as being with someone but very lonely..
And I hope you realize he did you a favor by leaving..that wasn't much of a marriage anymore, and you should and do deserve better!
Italian
ha ha.,.too funny bestman, you wrote what i wrote!!
[Edited 2/6/2008 7:00:14 PM]
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| 2/6/2008 7:00:28 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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bettyboop61
Lake Placid, FL
age: 65
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You was not wrong, he was..Let's all pray for him...
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| 2/6/2008 7:01:35 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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kgearly1021
Valdosta, GA
age: 47
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Lilbitty, we may have been married to the same man! My last ex husband was just like that.
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| 2/6/2008 7:04:11 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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nashoba_miko
Bethany, OK
age: 38
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yeah, must be a family thing....when I had doubts about mine and asked him about them....he said "stay out of my personal life".........DING DING DING.....WE HAVE A LOSER
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| 2/6/2008 7:04:15 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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metal1970
Towson, MD
age: 37
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Well Lilbitty, I'm single, we should talk sometime.
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| 2/6/2008 7:04:24 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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wnd_dragon
Morristown, TN
age: 29
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you were NOT wrong, girl! Don't trip!
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| 2/6/2008 7:08:45 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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lilbittypretty1
Grifton, NC
age: 47
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wow ya'll!!! ty so much for your input...and Italian, actually, he left me in the middle of Leukemia treatment. I am in complete remission now  I know, stand up guy huh?...He would spend as much as 13 hours a day either dling music, or talking to his "friends". I love to have friends as well, and would love to have someone that would SHARE that WITH me. You become insecure when it is hidden from you, or you find something out from someone else, or even the other women themselves. sad, but I am movin on GF! ....and yes, pray for him...and for me...I'll take all I can get. Thanks ya'll 
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| 2/6/2008 7:08:55 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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ylekiot
Stateline, NV
age: 51
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You were at fault......because you stayed with that loser as long as you did! You've got nothing to feel remorseful about. God bless and best of luck in your future endeavors.
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| 2/6/2008 7:10:25 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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katiescarlett72
Plano, TX
age: 35
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Lilbitty, at the risk of sounding sappy, I feel like I hear a cry in your post to know if this was REALLY ENOUGH to leave him over. You know that you were right and he was wrong, but you're maybe doubting whether that was a big enough deal to call it quits?
IMO the answer is yes. First of all, my definition of infidelity has always been "anything that you would not want your partner to witness." If you are hiding things from your partner, then you're committing infidelity. It may not be adultery yet, but I think the betrayal felt by the spouse is no less painful. When my ex and I split up, it was partly (but only partly) because I had found cell phone records reflecting dozens of phone calls to a female co-worker. He insisted that he never laid a hand on her, as if that somehow made it all right. I told him I really didn't care whether he'd screwed her six ways from Sunday or they'd kept a confessional wall between them, it was still infidelity and it still ended it for me. He had broken my trust in a way that could not be repaired.
Second, any man who says "hit the road if you don't like it" is committing emotional abuse. There's no need to subject yourself to a moment more of that than necessary. Getting out of it is very painful, but every day you stay, you haven't even started down the road to being happy. From the DAY you leave, every day you are one day closer to the pain ending and having happiness and peace in your life again. Telling you to hit the road is also the coward's way out for him. Rather than own up to the fact that he's unhappy and may want out, he'll just make you miserable and tell you to leave. That way it's your fault the marriage ended, not his. Abusers are absolutely spectacular blame-shifters. And abuse victims are usually equally talented at accepting the blame for anything and everything.
Lastly though, ask yourself this: if your adult daughter was in a marriage where her husband had female relationships behind her back and said such cruel and mean-spirited things to her, what would you tell her to do?
[Edited 2/6/2008 7:11:45 PM]
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| 2/6/2008 7:12:37 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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chopperbabe
Selah, WA
age: 47
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If I'm in a committed relationship then I share everything that he wants to be apart of. There are always somethings that one likes more than the other but at least he or I would have the option of either participating or doing our own thing. I am more of a family oriented person so I'd involve everything that I touch with him. I would hope he did the same.
[Edited 2/6/2008 7:14:18 PM]
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| 2/6/2008 7:24:22 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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lilbittypretty1
Grifton, NC
age: 47
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ty Yle.....and katie scarlett...ty for your insight and feelings about it...GUILT..alot of it. He walked out on me. I guess I didnt want another marriage to end. Makes me feel as if I am not supposed to be with anyone, ya know?...oh well gf onward!...talking about it out here makes me feel so much better...thanks for ya'll's posts.
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| 2/6/2008 7:24:23 PM |
I just NEED to know if I was wrong.......PLEASE... |
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cjbaker
Decatur, AL
age: 38
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No, you were right... I am big into respect and honor myself.
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