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Forums: Relationships: First Meeting: What does She expect from a guy.
2/11/2008 11:47:19 PM First Meeting: What does She expect from a guy.  

eagleeyes7
Fort Myers, FL
age: 60

 I would like to hear from the ladies on this one please! If a guy, who you have been corresponding with or speaking on the phone with for some time, takes the initiative to just pack up and drive/fly to see you, what do you want that meeting to be like, and what do you expect from him as far as a date, sex, or just a great day/evening together??

IS THIS JUST TOO DEEP FOR ANY COMMENTS FROM LADIES?

WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? IF HE TAKES THE TIME TO GO AND SEE YOU, DRIVES OR FLYS THOUSANDS OF MILES, ARE YOU PREPARED TO WELCOME HIM, AND TO REALLY SEE IF HE IS WHAT YOU WANTED?



[Edited 2/12/2008 2:07:55 AM]
2/12/2008 2:54:52 AM First Meeting: What does She expect from a guy.  

nab5055
Medford, NJ
age: 43

 Great question....not too deep......One thing that Ihave found, many men just want to talk about sex. In my mind, the real keepers are the ones that want to get to know who you are.

I guess first that it depends on what the two of you are looking for. Is it just sex or more? My guy drives 2 hours to see me, I met him here. The first time, we met halfway for breakfast after talking for a couple of weeks online. I am willing to make the drive too so it is not a one way thing.

I welcomed him with open arms and was so excited to finally meet. We had the nicest day together and we moved on from there. Who knows.....he may turn out to be the love of my life.
2/12/2008 12:27:16 PM First Meeting: What does She expect from a guy.  

eagleeyes7
Fort Myers, FL
age: 60

 Thanks for the input Nab, and that sounds like an ideal first meeting. I believe that the "sex" thing is always in the back of the mind for both parties, but she usually needs to feel comfortable with the "person" that he is, before that should happen. If a guy is sincere, he won't expect it on the first meeting, snd show some respect for her, and let her give him the "signal" to take that next step.
I wish you and him the best in developing a bond that lasts between the two of you!
2/12/2008 12:46:56 PM First Meeting: What does She expect from a guy.  

lilbit2007
Tunnel Hill, GA
age: 40

 I personally would not feel I owe him anything but time to get to know me.However they are those that perfer the sex
2/12/2008 2:48:44 PM First Meeting: What does She expect from a guy.  

angel_whispers
Klamath Falls, OR
age: 41

 I guess it would depend on who he is. How much we have talked. Was this a planned trip or a surprise?

Too many variables to give a concrete honest answer. But, I know I would welcome any planned meeting with a smile on my face and at least a plan for sight-seeing, etc. Where it went from there...it went.
2/12/2008 3:11:01 PM First Meeting: What does She expect from a guy.  

eagleeyes7
Fort Myers, FL
age: 60

 Thanks for the input!
Angel, it would definately be a planned occasion, and no pretense of just sex would be in mind. My question is seeking a sincere expectation from the ladies, as to what YOU would like it to be all about. Spending quality time together after the initial meeting could take many paths, and I'm interested in feedback as to what a lady would like for a real positive and fun first meeting. Assuming of course, that the guy is who he portrayed himself to be on this site, in reality, when you meet him!
Sorry I didn't make the "planned" aspect more obvious.
2/12/2008 4:06:30 PM First Meeting: What does She expect from a guy.  

missy_abell
Queensland
Australia
age: 47

 This is a really good Topic...For my first meeting it would have to be over a cup of coffee or a drink some where with plenty of people around and talk and have some laughs on the the way.
Try and get to understand him where he is coming from and for him to listen what your saying as well.
If i am feeling some sort of vibe about this meeting I would proberly sit back and watch to see where he is coming from or i might not turn up at all.
2/12/2008 4:26:52 PM First Meeting: What does She expect from a guy.  

gonesailingbabe
Des Moines, IA
age: 44

 Interesting thread....something I have been wondering about...also.

I'm approaching this point with someone I have met on DH, perhaps.

Where is the obligation?

Am I the one who should travel to where he is?
Is he the one who should travel to where I am?

What are the impliucations regarding this situation?

If travel is involved an overnite stay somewhere is required - so this becomes a "weekend" rather than a single date...

???
I'm puzzled by it honestly and would appreciate feedback regarding all of it.
2/12/2008 4:33:47 PM First Meeting: What does She expect from a guy.  

ceecee1971
Warrenton, MO
age: 36

 Well if you have established all those long conversations on the phone, and are ready to meet, doing a lot of fun things is up next! ( Not meaning sex ) I like to take my time with a man, and learn everything about them! Talking, making eye contact, even kissing, maybe hold hands while walking! Its all in the way you feel at the moment!
2/12/2008 5:17:31 PM First Meeting: What does She expect from a guy.  

eyeswideopened
Huntington Beach, CA
age: 43

 My word of advise is not to get involved with someone that requires air travel. It gets way too complicated and it's very difficult to maintain a relationship and expensive. Think of the long haul, feelings and the possible "what if factor". If you are going to meet, I would have the expectation of meeting a "friends" only. Therefore no one will get hurt if the chemisty is just not there. If it is there, you will not need a map to figure things out. Listen to your head, think with your heart and pay attention to the actions and reactions of the other person. You know the rest. Good Luck!
2/13/2008 2:28:10 AM First Meeting: What does She expect from a guy.  

eagleeyes7
Fort Myers, FL
age: 60

 Thank you ladies,
No, I agree that there should never be any implied or expectation of anything more than a great day/evening together. The coffee idea is OK, but I would opt for a little more if that went good at the start. Good conversation, sharing one's past experiences in life in general (not talking of sex), and feeling one another out to see how "real" they are is essential, I believe.
I would likely drive, as I don't like being too distant without my own transportation, and would suggest that she take her own to our rendevous as well. That way, each of us can go our separate ways if things don't work out.

As Cee Cee said, getting to know one another first is very important. It takes time to assess where that first step should take us, and developing a rapor, closeness, and showing the other honesty and sincerety is a must before intimacy takes place.

Sailingbabe: As you said, your opportunity to experience this firsthand is soon in coming, and I would love to hear back from you when you have made this connection.

Missy: You are right on with your point about "listening", as many women have told me that I am a good listener. I have learned that it is VERY important to pay attention to what a woman says, and it is best done with direct eye contact and an attentive attitude!

THANK YOU LADIES, ONE AND ALL! The best way to learn what a lady likes, is to listen to what she tells you, and your sage advice is getting filed away for that day when I will need it most!